Edward Cullen: A Work in Progress
by tufano79
Summary: Edward Cullen is an jerk. He's a moody musician and artist who is wary about life and is recovering from a nasty drug overdose. Emmett, his best friend, offers him an opportunity to redeem himself and work with his best tattoo artist in his shop.EXB,AH - Mature Audiences, only. Strong themes with references to drugs and sexual assault
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay, new story. This one is based off Edward. You may not like this Edward. He's a jerk. Asshole. Complete dick. But he'll change. Hopefully ;-)**_

_**Things I own: An iPhone, burgundy Honda Pilot, a little yippie dog.**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers. **_

**Edward Cullen: A Work in Progress**

**Prologue**

I was walking back from the bar. I had a nice buzz going on. I love me some Jack Daniels. Tasty. However, drugs would have been preferred. _You remembered what happen with that, asshole._ Shut it, inner voice. I'm over you.

I had finally finished my apprenticeship as a tattoo artist with Bitchella, erm, Bella. God, she was incredibly hot but so crabby. _Maybe it's because she hold you accountable for you actions, Cullen. _Fuck you. We had all gone out to drink at Pepper's, a bar close to the tattoo parlor, Dreamstyle Ink.

I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I took a long draw of the cancer stick as I sauntered down the sidewalk. I was nearly back to Dreamstyle to pick up my car when I heard a scuffle. I shrugged it off and pulled out my car keys to my Volvo. It's a piece of crap, but it's mine. Hell, it was my home for sometime there.

"James! Stop it! Get your hands off me!" someone screamed. I heard a muffled thud and the tearing of fabric. _This is not good._ I walked toward the sounds, clenching my hands into fists, preparing myself for the inevitable fight. I heard a loud smack and snarling. I turned the corner and found James Pattinson, one of the former tattoo artists, pounding into a prone woman in the alley behind Dreamstyle.

"Hey, fucker. Leave her alone," I growled. James whirled around and he pulled up his pants, running down the opposite end of the alley. I took off after him but he had too much of head start. I whipped out my cell phone and ran back to the woman in the alley. I got closer and lightly brushed her hair from her face. _Bella. _I traced my fingers along the curve of her jaw and grimaced. Her cheek was sliced with a knife. Her nose was broken and she had a split lip.

Her shirt was in tatters and her breasts were exposed. I removed my leather jacket to cover her body. As I laid it on her, I noticed the damage done to her lower half of her body. She was torn to shreds. "Fuck."

"911, what's your emergency?" a female voice called.

"I need an ambulance," I said quietly, biting back vomit. _God, how can he do this to her? _"I'm located in the alley behind Dreamstyle Ink Tattoo Parlor."

"What's the nature of the emergency?"

"My friend. She's been raped," I said.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Okay, new story. This one is based off Edward. You may not like this Edward. He's a jerk. Asshole. Complete dick. But he'll change. Hopefully ;-)**_

_**Things I own: a shitload of music (hell, I'm a music teacher), a lot of candles and still a yippie dog**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers. **_

**Chapter One: Six Months Ago**

"Edward, man, you have to get up," Emmett whined. "You stank."

"Fuck you, McCarty," I snapped, rolling over on my bed. Okay, couch.

"Listen, douche. You have two options. Option one is to get your ass up off my couch, shower and come with me Dreamstyle Ink. You can stay with me if you come to Dreamstyle. Option two is to get your ass up off my couch and leave. Live in your damn car again," Emmett said. "You've been out of rehab for two weeks now. You can't stay here forever. Because I won't' let you."

"Emmett, I appreciate you bailing me out. Again," I grumbled. "But, I'm not ready."

"Bullshit. You're ready. You've been clean for six months. Staying at the rehab center did a world of good," Emmett said as he lit a cigarette. He handed it to me. I eagerly accepted it. "But you can't hole up in my apartment. And dude, really? You fucking smell. Shower. PLEASE! I'm begging you!"

I picked up my shirt and took a whiff. _Okay, that's just gross. Get off this couch and out of your own filth, Cullen._ "Okay, I'll get up and I'll shower," I said as I put the cigarette in my mouth. "But the why the hell am I going to Dreamstyle with you? I'm not a tattoo artist. I'm a fucking musician."

"Who has a killer eye for ink, man," Emmett said. "I've seen your doodles on your music man. It's good. I mean really good. You have the potential to be a great black and gray tattoo artist. I've arranged for you apprentice with the best tattoo artist I have at Dreamstyle."

"Let me shower and then we'll discuss," I said, shooting him an angry glare. I burrowed through my duffle bag and picked up a pair of jeans, boxer briefs and black t-shirt. I skulked to the bathroom and stepped into the hot spray. I hastily washed my body with the soap in the shower. I ran my fingers through my shaggy locks of fucked up bronze hair and scrubbed my scalp. I finished my shower and stepped out of the tub.

I looked at my reflection in the foggy mirror. My green eyes were tired, dark bags under them. My face was gaunt and drawn. I had lost a lot of weight when I was in rehab. I didn't want to eat. The thought of food made me nauseous. My once fit and muscular build is now lanky and untoned. I dragged my hands across my chest, running my fingers through my sparse chest hair. It was a shade lighter than the hair on my head. The fucked-up bronze shit. I had the weirdest fucking hair. And it stuck up every which way. I hated it. I shaved my head when I entered rehab. Emmett smacked me for that one. While I was in there, it slowly grew back.

My eyes raked over my ink. The one thing on my body that I did like. Well, that and my piercings. Both of my arms were covered with ink. Not full sleeves, but close enough. I had a large lion on my chest the snaked around my left pec, the tail wrapped around my back and ended above my right kidney. All black and grey. On my neck was the Masen crest. Along my hips was the Irish blessing, written in Old Gaelic. Both of my nipples were pierced, as was my tongue, eyebrow and my ears. I looked like a carney reject, but this was me. All of me.

Too bad my parents couldn't understand me. They fucking kicked me out at the age of 18 when I said I didn't want to be fucking doctor. Sure, I got a full ride scholarship to Dartmouth. Sure, I was the legacy of Dr. Carlisle Cullen, but I couldn't care less. I really couldn't. Medicine was not my passion. My drive. Music was. Art was. When I told them that I wanted to perform and focus on my music, they kicked me out and cut me off. My credit cards were stopped and I was sent on my way with my Volvo, the clothes on my back and the money in my wallet. A whopping $150. That lasted me for a day. After a week, I was living in my car, begging for work. No one was hiring. I took out my guitar and played on a street corner, garnering a few bucks. I played until my fingers bled. When my fingers were tired, I made money by sketching caricatures.

While I hated living on the streets and in my car, what hurt more was the fact that my parents never once came to look for me. Never. For all they know, I'm dead in the gutter somewhere.

That was ten years ago.

Still no word from them. They don't care. They don't love me. If they had loved me, they would have fucking looked for me. Selfish assholes.

"Edward? Are you contemplating the national debt?" Emmett laughed.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole. I'm coming," I barked out. I ran my hand over my week old beard and shaved my face. After I finished my shave, I got dressed and put on some deodorant and some nasty Axe shit that Emmett kept in his bathroom. I ran my fingers through my hair, knowing that I desperately need a haircut. In the worst way. It had been nearly six months since I shaved my head and it's a hot mess. However in order to get a haircut, I need money. In order to get money, I needed work. Perhaps this apprenticeship will be beneficial.

I walked out into the family room and plopped down on my couch/bed. "Do I smell pretty now, Emmett?" I said sarcastically.

"Much better. You were reeking like a dead foot or something. It was fucking gross, Cullen," Emmett said. "Now you smell like a human. On to this whole apprenticeship."

"I'll do it," I said without any trepidation in my voice. "I need money. No one else is going to hire an ex-cocaine user who's been in rehab."

"You'll do it?" Emmett asked, bouncing on his Lazy Boy.

"Yes, I'll do it. What can I expect? Who am I working with?"

"Well, for the first few weeks, you're going to be a shop manager. Learn the inner workings of the shop. How to book an appointment, billing, maintaining supplies, and setting up for tattoos and piercing."

"So, pretty much the shop bitch," I sneered.

"Yeah. But we all started there," Emmett said. "You can't go into a job like this, with no experience, to tattoo people right away. You need to learn. After that, you're going to work with our best artist, besides me."

"Why can't you be my mentor?" I asked, wiggling my fingers.

"Because, we're too close. Due to our friendship, I can't be as impartial to your work," Emmett said.

"So, who am I working with?" I questioned skeptically.

"Bella," Emmett said with a grimace.

"Bella. Have I met her before?" I asked, raising my brow.

"I don't think so. However, she's a tough cookie. Hasn't had an easy life. She's really good at what she does, but she has a temper. But she's great at being a tattoo artist, brilliant, snarky, and sexy as fuck," Emmett said.

"You've fucked her, haven't you?"

"A few times. She's a fuckawesome lay," Emmett smirked. "She does this thing with her tongue ring. It makes me hard to even think about it."

"Emmett, I haven't been fucked in six months. I do not need to hear about Bella's prowess with her tongue ring," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You didn't get any in rehab?" Emmett joked.

"No, you douche. We were locked up at night," I snapped. "I was stuck in that room with the devil. Also known as Ben Cheney, the snoring monster from Hades. I nearly smothered him with a fucking pillow to get him to shut the fuck up."

"Now, will you go back to rehab?" Emmett asked, seriously.

"Hell no. Just to insure that I am not stuck with Ben Cheney the snoring monster from Hades."

"Well, when you snort shit up your nose, snoring must be a side effect," Emmett grumbled. "Now, when we get to Dreamstyle, you will be quiet and respectful. Don't let the asshole out too early."

"Come on. I'm not that bad," I said, leaning forward on my knees.

"Edward, you make Osama Bin Laden look like a puppy dog," Emmett said, throwing a pillow at me. "You are a grade-A asshole."

"Do you blame me?"

"No."

"Then, let me be who I'm supposed to be. I'll be somewhat respectable, but I'm not making any promises," I said.

"That's all I'm asking."

xx EC:AWIP xx

We pulled up to Dreamstyle Ink. It was Emmett's baby. He had apprenticed with the previous owner, Marcus Volturi. Marcus was so taken with Emmett's gusto and enthusiasm, he left the shop to him when he moved to Italy to be with his family. His father, Aro, was dying from cancer and he wanted to spend his last days with him. He then decided to open a tattoo shop in his parents' hometown of Volterra. Emmett assumed ownership of Dreamstyle Ink and he made it his own.

The transition wasn't easy for Emmett. He was signing papers to complete the transfer of the ownership from Marcus to him when I was overdosing in my shady hotel room. I listed Emmett as my emergency contact on my form when I filled out my paperwork. The maid found me, face down in a puddle of my own vomit and blood. I had snorted an exorbitant amount of coke. On a bender, as it were. I couldn't care less. About anything. I just wanted to end it all. My life was worthless. My family abandoned me. I had no purpose. So I used all of my money and bought as much coke as I could and snorted until my nose bled. I was so high. I eventually collapsed and suffered a mild heart attack from all of the coke in my system. I was admitted into the hospital when Emmett was notified. I spent a month in there before they ordered me into rehab. Emmett and his silent partner from the tattoo parlor paid for my stint in rehab. I knew I had to repay him. I couldn't do it if I was unemployed.

"You ready, douche?" Emmett asked.

"No," I said, nibbling on my fingernail.

"You will not relapse. You are too stubborn not to," Emmett said, patting me on the back. "Come on, let's meet your new co-workers and get the paperwork filled out. W-2s and shit."

Emmett got out of his Jeep and dragged me out of the passenger seat. He slapped me around a few times before adjusting my black t-shirt. He reached into his pocket and handed me a rubber band. "Until you get paid, wear your hair in a ponytail."

"It's not that long," I said.

"Yes it is," Emmett said. I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair, pulling the strands into a ponytail. Emmett laughed and hit me on the shoulder.

"You fucking suck, McCarty," I said. "I look like a goddamned fag."

"Oh, fine. Take it out. But, you're getting a haircut tonight. I'll lend you some money," Emmett snickered. "You could always shave it again."

"Don't tempt me."

Emmett opened the door and led me through the darkened hallway. We walked toward the main tattoo parlor. It was one large room with eight stations for eight separate artists. There was also a small curtained off area for piercing. In the room, there were three artists doing various things. One man and two women. "Hey everyone," Emmett said jovially.

"Morning bossman," one of the women said. "Who's the new guy?"

"Angela, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Angela. She's our resident color expert and dabbles in piercing," Emmett introduced.

"Nice to meet you," I said curtly as I shook her hand. She nodded and gave me a wink, along with a once over.

"Nice to meet you, too. Perhaps we can go out for a drink, later," Angela said, licking her lips.

"Maybe," I said as I smirked crookedly at her. She was cute. Tall, thin, nice tits. Big for her frame, but doable. Her hair was a bit much for me. Black with pink and purple streaks. However, she might be fun for some time in between the sheets. Emmett pulled me out of my reverie by elbowing me in the ribs. Hard. "Fuck."

"Stop eye fucking my employees, you fucktard," Emmett seethed.

"What? She's cute," I said.

"Behave, Cullen or you're fired," Emmett said coldly.

"Got it, bossman," I said, rolling my eyes.

"James, this is Edward," Emmett said as he introduced me to a blonde man with a ponytail. He had a goatee and a grimace on his face. "He's good at black and gray and portraits."

"Nice to you meet you, man," I said, holding my hand out. James snarled and turned around. "And fuck you, too."

"You've met your match," Emmett teased. "And last but not least, the best of the best, Bella Swan. Bella, this is Edward. Your apprentice."

Bella turned to look at me. She was short, about 5'4". Her skin was pale and translucent. Her eyes were tired and she looked bored. However, they were the most exquisite shade of cinnamon. Her brown hair was cut into an uneven bob with red and blond highlights. Her nose, lip, eyebrow and ears were pierced. She licked her lips and I could see her tongue ring. Her body was slim, but athletic. Her breasts were the right amount of perky and her ass was delectable. I think I drooled. "Do you have a book?" she asked brusquely.

"A book?"

"Portfolio? Book with all of your drawings? Book?" she asked, talking to me like I was an idiot.

"No, I'm just starting out," I said, my blood pressure rising. _I will not hit a girl. No matter how hot she is. I will not hit a girl. _

"Bella, you know this," Emmett said. "We're going to build Edward's portfolio at the shop."

"Whatever," she said.

"I'll let you guys get to know each other while I get your paperwork together, Edward," Emmett said as he bounced away to his office.

"So, how long have you worked here?" I asked.

"Five years. I started when I was twenty-one. Marcus apprenticed me and he hired me to work here," Bella said as she sat down at her table, pulling out her sketch pad. "Let's get a few things clear. You are our bitch. We ask you to do something, you do it. No questions. No arguments. Nothing. Secondly, my orders take precedence. You are their bitch. You will be my personal whipping boy. If you want to learn, you will do what I ask. Lastly, I will give you homework and you will do it. If you don't, I have the power to fire you. No crying to Emmett about me being unfair. I'm your boss. Don't fuck with me. Clear?"

_Where the hell does she get off? I'm not her bitch._

I growled and glared at the tiny woman in front of me. She held my stare and her eyes narrowed. "Are we clear?" she asked thru clenched teeth. Not wanting to piss her off anymore, I nodded and turned on my heel to Emmett's office. I slammed my hand against the door. Emmett beckoned me to come in.

I stalked into the office and sat down at the chair opposite from Emmett. "Is she for fucking real?"

"Did she tell you her rules?" Emmett laughed.

"I'm the shop bitch and her personal whipping boy. And she has the power to fire me?!" I screamed.

"Yep," Emmett said. "You'll learn a lot from her. Trust me. Would you rather work with James?"

"I'd rather not work with either of them. Put me with Angela," I said, rubbing my face.

"She just finished her apprenticeship. She needs to be an artist for at least a year before she can take on her own apprentice," Emmett said. "Trust me, please? Edward?" I snarled at Emmett and he gave me a tentative smile. He shoved some paperwork at me and placed a pen on top of it.

I picked up the paperwork and began filling it out. I finished filling out the paperwork and continued glaring at Emmett. "Just pray that I don't hit her. She's such a bitch."

"No, that's you, Eddie," Emmett said as he handed me a Dreamstyle t-shirt. "Go change and clock into the computer at the desk. I'll be up there in a little bit to show you the ropes on the computer." I swiped the shirt and went into the bathroom. I stripped off the black t-shirt and put on the Dreamstyle shirt. I was walking out of the bathroom when Angela was standing in front of me, smacking her gum. She linked her hand with mine and pulled me back into the bathroom.

"You're hot, Edward," she cooed as she nibbled on my ear. "Let's get to know each other. In the biblical sense." Her hand went to my cock and began rubbing it through my jeans. It responded to her touch and hardened. "Fuck me, Edward." She ran her lips along my jaw and nibbled along my Adam's apple. Her lips moved up to mine and she twisted her fingers into my hair, moving her mouth against mine. I wrapped my arms around her waist and helped her up onto the sink. She was wearing a skirt and I moved my fingers up her legs, under her miniscule skirt to her panties, only to discover there wasn't any. "I always go commando," she said as she guided my fingers to her core.

"Naughty girl," I said, sucking on her flesh. My fingers danced along her slick folds and eased digit into her warmth. "So wet, Angela."

"As soon as I saw you, I was dripping, Edward," she said as she rocked against my hand. "I want you to make me come. With your cock."

"Hmmmm," I said arching my brow. I unbuckled my belt and slid my jeans and boxer briefs down my legs, only before taking out a condom from my wallet. _The one day in boy scouts taught me to be prepared. Always._ Angela pumped my cock and she moaned. She pulled my face to hers as I sheathed my cock with the latex and angled my body so I was between her legs. I pulled her body closer to mine and I lined up my cock with her pussy. Her bare pussy. Her bare pussy with a fucking clit ring. "Shit." I ran my finger over her piercing and she smirked.

"Fuck me, Edward," she said as she ran her fingers over her clit. I eased into her folds and nearly blew my load right then. _Too fucking long since I've been with a woman. _I moved within her body and she played with her ring. I watched our connection and I knew I wasn't going to last long. At all. Too many months of no action. "God damn, you feel so good. Harder, Edward." I obliged and pounded in her body, my balls smacking against her ass. I looked into her eyes and crushed my lips against hers. Her fingers weaved in my hair and she started moaning loader.

"Keep quiet, baby. I don't want to be fired on my first day," I said as bit down on her lip, eliciting the loudest moan of all. She rubbed her clit fiercely and she clamped down on my cock. "Come for me, Angela."

"Shit, Edward. I'm so close," she breathed against my mouth. Her muscles fluttered against my cock and I was getting closer to my own release. I grunted as I moved harder against her. I picked up her leg and angled her body so I could reach into her deeper. Once I did, she let out a scream, which I quickly silenced with a kiss. Her muscles clamped down hard and I let my own orgasm overwhelm me. I kept pumping until I was back to earth. We eventually calmed our breathing and I pulled out of her. I removed the condom and tossed it into the toilet, flushing it down the pipes. "Hmmm, best orgasm ever," she cooed as she ran her fingers over my chest. Her nimble fingers danced until she reached my nipples and she found my nipple rings. "Pierced? Nice." I shrugged and pulled up my pants, buckling my belt.

"I'll let you freshen up," I said as I kissed her lips chastely. I slipped out of the bathroom and took a few deep breaths. _I really didn't want to fuck a co-worker on my first day of the job. Perhaps no heard._ I walked into the main room. Emmett is glaring at me. James is ignoring me. Bella is looking at me with disgust.

"Cullen, my office. Now," Emmett growled. He grabbed my arm, forcefully and dragged me into his office. He threw me into the chair and he slammed the door shut. "Have you gotten it all out of you?"

"She came onto me," I said.

"You could always say no, you asshat," Emmett yelled. "Did it feel good? Having sex without feeling? Fucking?"

"In the moment, it felt great. However, now? Not so much," I said. "That hurt my damn arm, Emmett."

"Good. This is your warning. One more fuck up and you're out, Cullen," Emmett said. "I shouldn't have to babysit you."

"Then don't," I spat.

"Then don't act like a fucking asshole and take responsibility for your goddamned actions. Do you know what it feels like to take responsibility?"

"Yeah. I sat in rehab, taking responsibility for my overdose. I have a permanent heart condition because of my actions, Emmett. I'll be living with this for the rest of my life," I seethed.

"Don't. Do. It. Again," Emmett said, smacking my head with each word. "I really hope you wrapped it up. Angela is a bit of a slut."

"I used a condom, douche," I said rolling my eyes. "I don't want any STDs."

"You're clean?"

"In that respect? Yes. I got screened when I was admitted into the rehab facility," I said. "I've always used a condom. With every women I've been with."

"Well, you're not as dumb as you appear to be. Come on, let me show you how to make an appointment and do billing," Emmett said. We spent the next few hours going over billing and the paperwork that the clients had to fill out when they came in. For the first weeks, I would be in charge of the front desk, booking appointments, keeping track of the artist schedules, making sure that the necessary supplies were ordered and setting up for the artist's appointments. This was all in addition of being Bella's whipping boy. _Oh bliss. _

After spending time with Emmett, he told me to work with Bella for the rest of the day. She was shooting me daggers since my tryst with Angela in the bathroom. I sat down next to her. She glared at me. "You are fucking unbelievable. Been here less than an hour and you fucked Angela. Asshole," she seethed.

"I bet you wished it was you," I sneered.

"No. I don't want crabs," she snapped. "Your first assignment. I have a client who wants different musical symbols in addition to her favorite flower which is a daisy in one tattoo. Sketch it out."

"What's the client like?" I asked. "Male? Female?"

"Female. It's a tribute tattoo for her dad," Bella said curtly. "You have an hour. Don't dawdle." She handed me a pencil and a sketch pad. She then returned to the large man laying on the table in front of her. She slapped on her gloves and picked up her gun. I sketched out a few options. The ideas flowed through my mind and I put them to paper. I finished the sketches when Bella finished with her client. She walked up to the desk and swiped his credit card. He slipped her several hundred dollars in tip and a small card. _His phone number. Lovely. _She smiled politely and waved as he left. Once he was gone, she tossed his card and her face returned to its usual grimace. "Let me see."

"Please? It's polite say please when you ask for something."

"Now," Bella demanded as she picked up the sketch book. She looked at my sketches, her brow furrowed. "Not bad. A bit two dimensional, but there's promise. Refine this one. Keep the same shape, but add more depth. That's your homework. Also, make it about the size of a 4x6 note card. It's going on her shoulder. If it's good, I'll use it. If it sucks, then you did all the work for nothing."

"Anything else?" I asked, trying to keep my temper in check.

"No. You're done, Whipping Boy," she said as she began packing her stuff.

I stood up with a huff and went back to Emmett's office. He was packing up too. "Should I clock out? Her bitchiness proclaimed me to be done," I said.

"Yep," Emmett said. I clocked out and walked out with Emmett. He drove us to Supercuts. He handed me $40 and told me to get rid of the shaggy 'do. I rolled my eyes and sat down after I signed in with the receptionist. A few minutes later, I was seated in a chair and a girl who was no more than 16 was cutting my hair. I knew I was going to look like shit, but I can't exactly afford a good haircut. I paid at the register and gave the tween her tip. She got two bucks. She butchered my hair. I'll probably end up having to shave it anyway. Emmett was sitting out in his car and was scarfing down some McDonald's. He pointed to the bag and inside was a salad. I groaned and tucked into my salad. I handed Emmett back his change but he told me to keep it. We drove back to his apartment in silence. Once there, we put on some sporting event. I don't remember what happened after that. I must have fallen asleep. Being Dreamstyle's bitch exhausting.

**A/N: Okay, Edward's a manwhore. Bella's a bitch. They hate each other, for now. What do you think? Leave me love! ;-)**


	3. Chapter 3

_**The response to this story is a bit surprising. I'm looking forward to having Edward grow as a person and the relationship with Bella develop. Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a Harvard t-shirt, this laptop, and some hotdogs**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers.**_

**Chapter 3: Five Months Ago**

"Whipping Boy!"

_I will not hit a girl. I will not hit a girl. I will not hit a girl._ "Yes, Bella?" I asked with gritted teeth.

"Set up for a back tattoo," she barked.

I nodded and pulled out a table. I set it up quickly and laid out the sterile drapes for the client. I then set up the rest of the station for her bitchiness. Things had not improved all that much since I started working at Dreamstyle. Angela and I occasionally fucked. However, she was currently curtailing our sexual explorations until she discovered if she liked the latest guy she was dating. Whatever. Rosie Palmer worked for me before Angela.

"You're good to go," I said, tapping her on the shoulder. She gripped my fingers and bent them backwards. "Mother fucker."

"Don't you fucking touch me, Whipping Boy," Bella seethed. The pain in my fingers caused my knees to buckle. I fell to the ground. "No one touches me without my permission. Got it?"

"Fuck! Yeah. You're breaking my damn fingers," I croaked. Bella released my fingers and she rummaged through her bag. She snarled at me as she brushed past to go smoke outside. I got up, rubbing my hand. "Jeez, anger management much?"

"She went easy on you," Angela said. "She really could have broken your fingers. And detached your balls from your body."

"What the fuck?"

"She's got…issues," Angela said with a dramatic eye roll.

"Like we all don't," I snorted. "I swear, this shop is the Mecca for all of the rejects and forsaken."

"Hi, guys!"

"Case in point," I said, turning to Alice Brandon. She was the owner New Moon Designs, a clothing boutique across the street from Dreamstyle. "What can we do for you, Alice?"

"How are you doing, Whipping Boy?" Alice teased. I growled and narrowed my eyes at the midget in front of me. Alice was Bella's roommate. How they got together, I'll never know. They were the exact opposite of each other. Alice was excitable, happy and perky. Bella was sullen, cranky and bitchy. The only thing that they had in common was the fact that they were both tiny. Alice was shorter than Bella, but they still were little.

"Don't call me Whipping Boy," I fumed.

"It's your name. Bella has deemed it so," Alice said while waving a fist.

"If I called her what I had in my mind, I'd be fired," I said. _Bitchella. Slave Driver. Evil Whore. _"I need this job, thank you very much."

"I'm looking for my roommate," Alice said. I pointed to the back and Alice skipped past me, pinching my cheek. I growled again and went to update some things on the computer. Adjust schedules and whatnot. After I finished my work at the desk, I pulled out my sketchbook and worked on my homework that Bella had assigned. She wanted me to create a tribal tattoo for some guy. He wanted it along his ribs. He provided a picture of the tribal art he wanted. I was re-working it so it would fit his body and on his ribs.

Alice returned a few moments later. She hopped up on the counter. "Edward, you're tall. And lean."

"Keen observation, roommate of my tormentor," I said, running my pencil along the sketch pad.

"I'm short one male model for this runway show I have at the mall. Can you please do it for me?" Alice pleaded.

"Alice, I'm not a fucking model. Go find some man meat elsewhere," I said, arching a pierced brow at her. Angela had pierced it for me as a celebration for completing my first week at Dreamstyle. Then she gave me a blowjob.

"Whipping Boy, you will do this for Alice," Bella spat.

"What?!" I asked, spinning around. "Like hell, I will."

"Do you want to be a tattoo artist? Do you want this job?" Bella sneered.

"I need this job," I said angrily.

"Then you will model for Alice. She'll even pay you," Bella said with a snide grin.

"Pay?" I asked.

"$500 to shake your moneymaker," Alice said, ruffling my hair.

"If I'm stuck wearing pastel and looking a fucking homo, I will seriously kick someone's ass," I said, narrowing my eyes at Alice. She mimicked my glare and she smirked.

"No pastel. Trust me, Cullen. Come on. Let's get you fitted," Alice said as she took my sketchbook from my hands. She pulled on my arms and dragged me out of Dreamstyle. For someone so small, she was freakishly strong. Alice was about 5'2" with black hair and blue eyes. Her hair was styled in a punk, spiky haircut and she obviously was a fashion guru. Not that I knew. Hell, if it didn't stink, I was happy. Jeans and t-shirt, baby. Alice strode into her boutique and pushed me into a changing room. "Your clothes are on the rack. You'll have five outfits. Put on the black pants and gray shirt first."

I looked at the clothes and grimaced. _Dress clothes. _I stripped down to my boxer briefs and slipped on the black slacks and funky gray dress shirt. I tried buttoning it, but was failing miserably. I walked out and looked at Alice in frustration. "Seriously, Alice? What kind of fuckery is this?"

"Shut it, Cullen," she said as she deftly buttoned the shirt. "Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah, Ali?"

"Get me a pair of black socks and size twelve men's dress shoes."

"Got it."

"How did you know what size shoe I wear?" I asked.

"I work in the industry, fucktard," she said, smacking my head. Jess appeared and she looked at me like I was a piece of chocolate cake. A big piece. However, Jess was a bit of a dog. And I wasn't offering. Alice shoved me into a chair and thrust the shoes and socks into my hands. "Put them on, Cullen." I shrugged and whipped off my socks, slipping on the nice black dress socks and shoes. I stood up and Alice shoved me, _again,_ to the mirror. I looked at myself and I cringed. I didn't see me in the mirror. I saw my father. My body began trembling. This is what I didn't want to be. Not him. "Edward, stop shaking. You don't want me to stick a pin in your ass."

"Are you almost done?" I snapped.

"No. I need to do some work to the waist of these pants," Alice said as she pinned and tugged at the slacks. "Okay, be careful when you take them off. Put on the jeans and black shirt next." I nodded dumbly and walked back into the changing room. We managed to get me fitted for all five outfits that Alice wanted me to wear for the fashion show. She then dragged me down the way to Pepper's for some lunch. "So, Edward, tell me your life story."

"I'm 28. I live with Emmett. I'm a musician. I'm under _Bella's_ tutelage to be a tattoo artist," I said curtly.

"There's more," Alice said, looking into my eyes. "You seem too pissed off for that to be your life story."

"There is more. But that's all you're getting," I said as I sipped my water.

"Let me guess," Alice said. "If I guess correctly, I'll double your pay."

"Who's to say if I'll be honest in my admission," I smirked.

"I trust you," Alice said. "You look all mean and gruff, but you have a heart."

"No, I don't."

"Damaged. It's damaged. But it's there," Alice said sagely. "Okay, let me think."

Our waitress came and delivered our lunches. I eagerly tucked into my hamburger and enjoyed the greasiness of it.

"Don't strain yourself, midget," I said, my mouth full of fries.

She smacked my arm and looked into my eyes. "It's more than pissed. You're sad. Lonely. You were kicked out of your home. Obviously at a young age." I ducked my head and stared at a knot in the wood. "You haven't seen your parents for a long time. They kicked you out. Almost like they were ashamed of you."_Fuck, is she a goddamned fortune teller? _"You lived on the streets, scrounging to make ends meet. Got mixed up with the wrong crowd. Found your solace in drugs and alcohol. Am I close?"

I ran my fingers along the rim of the glass of water that sat in front of me. Not trusting my voice, I nodded.

"That's not all, is it?"

"No. I got so hooked on coke, that I did anything for it. I even sold my body to get the drugs," I said roughly. "I stopped that quickly when I got the shit kicked out of me by a couple of guys who wanted to do me and I refused. I met up with Emmett at a bar after that. He took me in and nursed me back to health. Once I got better, I left. We still maintained contact with him. But, I needed to be on my own. The call of drugs and alcohol was too strong. I fell into old habits. I was feeling particularly low and I bought as much coke as I could and I overdosed. I nearly died. Hell, I have permanent damage to my heart because of my stupidity. I spent six months in rehab. Emmett and his silent partner paid for me. I'm working at Dreamstyle to repay a debt."

"Edward, it sucks. But you are a strong man. And you do have a heart. If you were 'heartless,' you wouldn't be working for Emmett," Alice said, squeezing my hand. "And you will get double your pay. You need all the help you can get."

"Thanks, midget," I chuckled. "Now, can you enlighten me?"

"How so?"

"Why does Bella hate me so much?" I asked.

"You're a manwhore," Alice said simply. "You want to plunge your cock into any pussy you can get."

"Okay, I get that I fucked up with screwing Angela."

"On the first day," Alice said, arching a brow.

"On the first day. But…I've done everything she's asked me to do and nothing. No words of encouragement. No pat on the back. Nothing."

"Bella has been dealt a shit hand of cards. I won't tell you her story, but it's not pretty," Alice said.

"Can I guess?"

"You probably won't. So don't bother," Alice said, her tone harsh. "If Bella wants you to know, then she'll tell you. However, if you want to get in her good graces. Treat women with respect. Don't think of them as receptacles for you to deposit your sperm in."

"Aren't I respectful to you, midget?"

"Not really, Edward," she snorted. "But you're getting better. Come on. Bella only gave me two hours to work with you. We've been gone for nearly four."

"That's why you needed to talk to Bella?"

"Yep. Come on, Whipping Boy. Your Tormentor awaits," Alice said with a wry grin.

"Fuck."

xx EC:AWIP xx

"Whipping Boy, stop fidgeting. You're going to wrinkle my design," Alice snapped.

"I'm not comfortable, Alice," I said. "I feel like a fucking investment banker."

"You don't look like one. I let you keep in your piercings. It adds to the irony of my design," Alice said. "Now, walk out there confidently and on beat. You can handle that, right?"

"I'm goddamned musician. I can walk on beat," I snarled. "Why did I agree to this?"

"Because I'm paying you a shitload of money and because your tormentor threatened to fire you if you didn't," Alice said. "She'll be out there. With Emmett. And Jasper."

"You really must hate me," I said.

"Yep. Go shake your moneymaker, Cullen," Alice said as she smacked my ass. I growled and walked up the stairs to the runway. _I must be desperate. Being a male model. Fuck my life._ I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't run my hands through my hair because Alice spent an hour trying to get it to be the right amount of disheveled and put together. She threatened to rip out my eyebrow piercing if I touched my hair. _It just healed, Alice. Christ!_

"You can do this, Cullen. Just pretend like you're walking down the street in ugly clothes," I muttered.

"I heard that!"

I flipped Alice off and strode onto the runway, walking to the beat of some horrible pop song. I arched my brow and tried to cop an attitude. My face was a blank mask. I got to the end of the runway, wanting to desperately to hop off of it and run away. But I didn't. Instead, I did my little turn and walked back to the entrance of the runway. I got backstage and the clothes I was wearing were ripped from my body and the next outfit was put on. I did that circuit five times. Each time was worse than the next. After the final outfit, which was my favorite, a pair of distressed dark wash jeans, tight black shirt and black leather coat, the rest of the models did some sort of 'bow' where we applauded the designers. I smiled tightly and clapped with the rest of the monkeys.

We left the runway and Alice ran up to me, running into my arms. I barely caught her before she wrapped her legs around my waist. "You rocked, Whipping Boy!" she shrieked in my ear.

"Fuck, Midget! I lost the hearing in my left ear," I said with a grimace. "Also, get off me."

"What? I thought you liked it when women wrap their legs around you," Alice teased as she hopped down.

"Yeah. I do. But, you are like a sister and that would be weird," I said, wrinkling my nose. "Can I touch my hair now?"

"Yes, Whipping Boy," Alice said, rolling her eyes. I ran my fingers through my hair, a smile gracing my features. " You have a nice smile, Edward. You should do it more."

"If I was happier, I would," I scowled.

"Cullen! You are a fucking supermodel!" Emmett boomed.

"Shoot me now," I said, dropping my chin to my chest.

"And Edward, you get to keep all of the clothes. God knows you need all the help you can get in the clothing department," Alice said, pinching my cheek. "Hey Emmett!" She hugged him and gave him a warm smile. "Whip did good."

"Whip, I like it," Emmett snorted.

"I'm still partial to Whipping Boy," Bella sneered. "You looked good. You almost passed for presentable."

_I will not hit a girl. I will not hit a girl. I will not hit a girl._

I shrugged and gathered all of the clothes that Alice said were mine. She handed me a large garment bag and put the clothes into it. She then handed me an envelope with a wink. _Money!_ "I'm going to head to the bank and then back to the apartment," I said.

"No, come out with us," Alice whined. "We're going to Pepper's for some liquid refreshment."

"Come on, Edward," Emmett said as he punched my shoulder. "You look good and you may pick up some decent girl tonight."

"Probably another one of his whores," Bella said.

"Hey," Emmett said. "Bella, be nice."

"I am. I didn't call them…"

"Bella!" Emmett yelled. "We get it. You don't like Whip. But, he's still my friend. Be nice."

"Fine," she said, rolling her eyes. "He just reminds too much of someone I knew." She turned on her heel and walked out of the backstage area. Emmett gave me an apologetic smile and followed her. I threw my bag over my arm and pulled out my car keys to my trusty Volvo. Alice shrugged and linked hands with a tall, blond guy. I presumed he was Jasper. I wasn't introduced. I walked out to the parking lot and then dropped the clothes into backseat. I adjusted my new black jacket and eased into my car. My poor, pathetic car. But, it was mine. The only thing I had from my old life. I got it for my sixteenth birthday. I rebuilt the engine twice. I refused to part with it. No matter how old it got, I'm never getting rid of this thing. I'll probably be one of those white trash people who has their car in the front lawn on cinderblocks. That would be the place for my Volvo.

I drove to Pepper's after I stopped at the bank and deposited the check that Alice gave me. I parked the car and headed inside. I found the group easily enough. I just followed the sound of Emmett's booming laugh. He was so loud. God. I plopped down next to him and he put a beer in front of me. I eyed him warily. He pushed the glass closer to me and gave me a reassuring wink. _It's not cocaine. Alcohol is not that bad._ _It's all about moderation._ I took a sip of the beer and it tasted delightful. I smiled as the bubbly goodness of the beer traveled through my system. "Good, Whip?"

"Delicious," I said, licking my lips.

"Edward, I want to introduce you to my boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock," Alice said. "Jasper, this is Edward Cullen. Also known as Whipping Boy or Whip."

"Nice to meet you," Jasper said with a drawl. "Why 'Whipping Boy?'"

"He's my bitch," Bella said as she took a shot of tequila. "My whipping boy at the shop."

"I'm Bella's apprentice. I'm training to be a tattoo artist," I said.

"So modeling is not your life goal?" Jasper teased.

"Um, hell no," I laughed. "I did that as a favor to your demanding girlfriend."

"She is demanding," Jasper said seductively. "But, I love her very much."

"Oh, fucking gag me," Bella said as she jumped up from the table. She stomped to the bar and waved down the bartender. She took several shots in succession and then returned to the table, a bleary look in her eyes. She sidled up to Emmett who returned her advances. She leaned up and nibbled on his ear. I turned away and sipped my beer. I knew they had a 'friends with benefits' type of a relationship. I heard their romps more often than not at the apartment. Bella was quite the screamer. My guess is that tonight would be another sleepless night for Edward. And lucky me, I get to open the shop with James tomorrow.

_Excuse me while I skip for joy…NOT!_

I made the decision that after the beer, I was going to head back to the apartment. I also decided that I had enough money saved that I was going to try and move out on my own. I had crashed on Emmett's couch long enough. I needed my own place. Nothing too big. Obviously. I had no money. Well, minimal money.

_Technically, you were entitled to millions. But that was before you were disowned by your parents._

I pounded the rest of my beer and decided to leave the canoodling couples. Alice begged me to stay, but I couldn't be the fifth wheel. I was tired and since Bella was coming to Emmett's, I needed to get some extra sleep. Heaven knows I can't sleep through her screams of passion. I drove back home and tossed the bag with my clothes into the hall closet. I stripped down to my boxers and made my bed. _Couch._ I curled up and closed my eyes. Sleep overcame me quickly.

xx EC:AWIP xx

I woke up to the sound of sniffles. I rolled over and saw Bella standing by the open door to the balcony, smoking a cigarette. She was crying. "Are you okay?" I asked, trying to be nice.

"Fuck off," she snapped.

"Fine. Just shut the fuck up. I'm trying to sleep here," I spat.

"Get your own damn apartment."

"Go home to yours."

"I'm an invited guest," Bella said.

"So am I," I grumbled, rolling back away from her. I heard Bella stomp over to me and pull me off the couch. "What the fuck? I'm trying to sleep, Bitchella."

"What did you call me?" she said softly.

"Bitchella. You've been nothing but mean and rude and completely bitchy. Emmett told me to be nice and I've been nothing but nice. Well, nice for me, and I keep getting the brunt of your shit," I growled.

"You are such an asshole," Bella said, slapping my face. "Leave me alone, Jake!"

"My name's Edward. Not Jake," I said.

"I know your name is Edward," she screamed as she pushed and pounded into my chest. Emmett ran out of the bedroom and grabbed Bella by the waist. He dragged her away as she clawed at my neck. "Fuck you, Edward. You're fired!"

"Burn in hell, Bitchella," I snapped as I pulled a pillow over my head. I never fell back asleep. I ended up tossing in turning for the rest of the night. I heard Bella's crying in Emmett's bedroom. I heard Emmett trying to calm her. But nothing would assuage her tears or her anger. _Shit, she's worse than me. That says a lot._ I finally gave up on sleeping around seven in the morning and decided to get some breakfast before heading to the shop and work on inventory. I was walking out of the shower when I saw an exhausted Emmett standing in front of me. "Am I still employed?"

"Yes. You are," Emmett said sadly. "I'm sorry that she did that to you."

"What the fuck is her problem? I mean, really?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

"She was abused, sexually by her foster dad's son. She was fourteen when it started. You carry a lot of the same traits that her abuser did," Emmett said.

"Well, I would never do that to a girl. That's fucking sick," I said as I paled. "I'm assuming that her abuser's name is Jake?"

"Yep. I'm not going to say anymore. But, be careful with her. She's been through a lot. Like you, Edward."

"It's probably safe to say that I won't be getting any apology from her," I sneered.

"Probably not. If you do, hell has frozen over."

"Won't hold my breath, then," I said, running my hand through my damp hair. "I'm going to get some breakfast and then do some inventory. I'll see you later."

"Later, man."

I picked up my leather jacket and headed to Dreamstyle Ink after getting breakfast. I worked through the inventory. I made note of the supplies that needed to be ordered. I was nearly done when I heard the rear door open up. In walked the last person I expected. Bella.

"I thought James was going to open with me," I said, trying to reign in the harsh tone of my voice.

"I switched with him," Bella said, sounding defeated and tired. "We need to talk."

"About?"

"About what happened last night."

_Fuck. Me._

**A/N: Do you think that Bella is going to apologize? Do you think Bella is going to share her story with Edward? Leave me love!**


	4. Chapter 4

_**The response to this story is a bit surprising. I'm looking forward to having Edward grow as a person and the relationship with Bella develop. Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a digital camera, a Queen-sized bed and a Nook**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter 4: Five months ago, still**

_I picked up my leather jacket and headed to Dreamstyle Ink after getting breakfast. I worked through the inventory. I made note of the supplies that needed to be ordered. I was nearly done when I heard the rear door open up. In walked the last person I expected. Bella._

"_I thought James was going to open with me," I said, trying to reign in the harsh tone of my voice._

"_I switched with him," Bella said, sounding defeated and tired. "We need to talk."_

"_About?"_

"_About what happened last night."_

_Fuck. Me._

"You don't owe me any explanations. However, don't you dare fucking hit me again. I may be your 'Whipping Boy,' but it's only in title. Not in action," I snarled. "I'll do the damn work, following your insipid orders, but you will never hit me again."

"Yeah, yeah," Bella said as she rolled her eyes. "I just want you to know that I really don't like you."

"You've made that abundantly clear," I said. "The snide comments and menial tasks you've given me is proof that you hate my ever-loving guts. I know I pissed you off with that stunt I pulled with Angela, but get the fuck over it."

"Who you fuck is your own damn business," Bella said. "Just don't do it at the shop."

"Fine. Is that all? I have to finish stocking the merchandise in the front," I said.

"No. I wanted to talk to you about your apprenticeship," Bella said as she sit down in Emmett's office. "You've created some decent sketches. Nothing that is off-the-charts great, but some okay stuff. You now need to start practicing on people."

"That would be helpful."

"You're going to tattoo me," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "That's how Marcus handled my apprenticeship and Emmett's too. I could care less if you fuck up. Especially since where you're going to tattoo, it won't be seen by many people."

"You won't cut off my balls if I fuck up?"

"No. I'd only do that if you fucked up a paying client," Bella said with a shrug. "I want the word 'Freedom' on my ribs. You have some swirly, fancy handwriting and I want you to do use that to create the script."

"Why freedom?" I asked. Bella's gaze hardened and she growled. "Never mind."

"No, you have a right to know. When someone requests a tattoo, it's well within your right to ask why they want it. However, the client may choose not to respond."

"Fine," I said as looked at Bella's cinnamon eyes.

They softened and then deadened. "I need to be free from…Jake."

"You called me that last night. Emmett kind of told me," I said, nibbling my fingernails.

"It's not his place," Bella snapped.

"You clawed at my neck and smacked me across the face. He may not have had the right to tell me, but I needed some background so I could avoid it," I spat back.

"You and Jake are so much alike. Total assholes who use women as whores."

I rolled my eyes and got up from the chair. Bella stood up and pushed me back down into it. "You want the story? Here's the story. It's not pretty. My mom beat the shit out of me. I was taken away from her and placed into foster care. My foster dad, who was a nice guy, but completely clueless and immobile, took me in. My real dad is nowhere to be found. Anyhow, Billy, my foster dad, his son decided that he liked me. Jake, who was 21, liked me so much that he took everything from me. My virtue, my soul, my life. All at the age of fourteen. I was raped on a daily basis by Jake because he liked me. Once I turned eighteen, I packed my belongings and never turned back."

I blinked a few times and stared at the pissed off, broken women in front of me. "That's horrible."

"I don't need your pity."

"I don't pity you. No one should have to go through that," I said.

"I see a lot of Jake's characteristics in you. Taking what you want without asking," Bella said quietly, menacingly.

"I would never take _that. _No one has that right. You were abused and should have told your social worker or someone," I said.

"I did. They didn't believe me." Bella dropped her steely gaze from mine and sat back down in Emmett's chair. She crumbled and she looked so helpless. I almost felt sorry for her. _Almost. _"I'm on my own now and I'm free. No Jake. No social workers. Nobody to hold me back. Except you."

"How am I holding you back?"

"You're just being 'you.' Stop being such a fucking manwhore," she seethed.

"Since you've known me, I've been with one person. Angela. How is that a manwhore?"

"Oh."

"Right. Oh. Don't pass judgment until you get all of the facts, Bella," I said, narrowing my eyes. "I may have been 'easy' before I worked here, but I'm actually attempting to change. So, back off."

"I'm…" Bella began. "I'm going to work on a sketch for another client. Come up with something for my tattoo and I want you to put it on me today."

"Fine," I said. Bella got up and went to her station in the main part of the shop. I sat forward and ran my fingers through my hair. _And you thought that you had it bad. Obviously, not. _I stood up and finished my work that I created for myself. I went into the shop and unlocked the door. Angela had arrived and she was looking a little worse for wear. She had an enormous hickey on her neck and dark circles under her eyes. Bella growled at her, calling her a slut under her breath. Even I saw the sluttiness. I sat down at the front desk and began working on my sketch for Bella's freedom tattoo. "Bella?"

"Yes, Whipping Boy?" she asked in a bored tone.

"I need to get an outline of where you want the tattoo so I can make it fit your body."

"Good job, Whipping Boy. You passed your first test." She held up some tracing paper and removed her hoodie. She lifted up her tank top to reveal a flat, toned stomach. "I want it here," she said, indicating to her right side.

"I'm going to have to touch you in order to trace the shape," I said warily.

"I know. Just don't linger with your fingers," she said, shooting me a warning glare. I nodded and held up the tracing paper. I outlined the shape of her ribs and quickly removed the paper. Bella lowered her shirt and went back to her station. I took my paper and began the basic outline of the tattoo.

"Do you just want the word or anything else?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Any other symbols? Things that represent your freedom?"

"A wolf in a forest," Bella said, her eyes far away. I nodded and began working on the sketch. An hour or so, I was done and called Bella over. She looked at it, critically. "Make the stencil," she said tersely. I created the stencil and then set up for her tattoo. Bella talked me through the set up for the inks and gun. I had saved some money and purchased my own kit. However, Bella told me that she wanted me to use her gun. She lay down, tucking her shirt into her bra. I placed the stencil on her ribs and asked her to check it out. She went to the mirror and nodded curtly. As she lay back on the table, she talked me through what she usually does for tattoos. Not wanting to piss her off, I listened to her advice and began inking her ribs. I was nervous. My hand was shaking. Bella told me to relax. I took a deep breath and pressed the tattoo gun to her porcelain skin. I worked for an hour. I hadn't realized that we had an audience. Angela and Emmett were watching me work.

_And that's not helping the nerves. _

Another hour later, I was done with Bella's tattoo. My audience had dissipated. They were working with their own clients. "Um, finished?"

"You better not have fucked up, Whipping Boy," Bella said as she sat up. She hopped off the table and stumbled. I caught her with my arms. Her hands gripped around my tattooed forearms. She bristled and stood back up before turning to the mirror. She looked at the tattoo that I drew on her. It was a black and gray representation of a wolf, running a forest. Using the leaves and debris, I created the word 'freedom' in my swirly, elegant script. Bella looked at the tattoo and ran her fingers over the wolf. Her eyes glistened and she whipped around. She pulled her shirt down and ran out of the shop.

"What just happened?" I asked as I watched Bella run away.

"I think you did good," Emmett said. "Best I've ever seen, for an apprentice."

"But, why the hell did she run away?"

"I don't know, Cullen. I really don't know. I've known her for years and I still can't get inside her head. In her panties, yes. Head, no," Emmett chuckled.

"You're an asshole, McCarty," I said.

"That would be you, Cullen. Clean up your mess."

I gave him the middle finger salute and cleaned up the table, gun, and ink. I then disinfected the materials. I grabbed my cigarettes from the front desk and went out back to have a smoke. I needed something to calm my nerves. I squatted behind the shop, lighting my cigarette. I took a deep pull from it and let the nicotine fill my lungs. I never smoked until rehab. However, I needed something to curb my addictive nature. I was almost done with my cigarette when I heard quiet sniffles from behind the dumpster. I furrowed my brows and went to inspect. "Hello?"

"Go away, Whipping Boy," Bella cried. "Can't I fall apart by myself?"

"I'm just smoking a cigarette. I'll let you wallow in a minute," I said shortly. I finished and turned on my heel to return to the shop.

"Whipping Boy?"

"What?" I sighed.

"You did good," Bella said quietly.

"Thanks," I said. "I hope I didn't make you cry."

"No, you didn't," she said sharply. "Now, make sure you clean up the table and disinfect the instruments."

"Already done, Master," I said sarcastically. "Do you need me to wrap you up?"

"I can do it," Bella said curtly. I nodded and opened the door to the shop. I finished out my day by searching for apartments. Bella called to Emmett and said that she was going to head back to her place as she was feeling sick. _Being a cut throat bitch can do that to you. _When I heard the door slam and Bella's car pull away, my tension went away and I finally released the breath I had been holding. I fell forward on my hands, banging my head on the desk.

"Don't do that, Edward," Angela said sweetly, running her fingers through my hair. "Want something to help you forget your troubles?"

"No, Ang," I mumbled into my hands. "I'm good. I just need the huge pain in my ass to disappear."

"Let me guess, it's Bella shaped," she giggled.

"Bingo."

"Want a blow job?"

"No, thanks," I said dryly.

I sat up and looked at Angela. She smirked and kissed my cheek. "You know where to find me if you do."

I watched Angela saunter away and I shook my head. I turned back to the computer and jotted down some phone numbers. I was determined to get an apartment. I needed to get the hell out of dodge. Also known as Emmett's apartment. I called a few places and arranged to meet with the landlords tomorrow on my day off. Hopefully, I'll find one in my price range. _Free sounds good_. And be able to move in relatively quickly.

xx EC:AWIP xx

**Four Months Ago**

"Alice, I don't need three hundred thread count sheets," I whined. "Keep in mind, I'm broke."

"They're on sale, Cullen. You have second hand furniture. You can at least have decent sheets. Think of them as a housewarming present for you," Alice said as she tossed the sheets into the cart. "From me to you."

"Thanks, Midget," I said. We were wandering through Target, getting some necessities for my new place. It was a small studio. One huge room and a rinky dink bathroom. The best part was that it was mine. I was so grateful when I moved out of Emmett's apartment. It sucked initially. I had to sleep on an air mattress. That was a slight step up from my couch. I had to scrounge and pinch major pennies to get furniture. All of it was from the Salvation Army or Goodwill. The only new item in my apartment was a flat screen TV. Emmett and Jasper chipped in and purchased that for me. An early birthday present. _My birthday was six months away, you idiots. _If only I could afford to get cable, then I'd be set.

We finish our shopping. I begrudgingly hand over the cash I took out for the trip, grimacing at the total. Alice must have noticed as she whipped out her credit card, handing it to the clerk. "Alice," I said. "Don't. I can afford it."

"And what will you eat?" she asked. "Will you be able to afford gas?"

"Um…"

"Then shut up and accept this gift," Alice said. She signed the credit slip and we headed out to my car. Alice's nose wrinkled as she slid into the cracked leather seat. "Dude, you're car has seen better days."

"Yeah, I know. I drove it when it had better days," I sighed. I started the car and eased out of the parking spot, driving back to my apartment.

"How long have you had this?"

"Since I was sixteen," I said. "My parents got it for me for my birthday. When they kicked me out, they gave me my car and the clothes on my back. That's it."

"Have they even attempted to look for you?" Alice asked sadly.

"I don't know. I don't care."

"That's doubtful," Alice said. "Your parents must still care."

"If they did, they wouldn't have kicked out their eighteen year old son because of the choice he made."

"What was that?"

"I was accepted to Dartmouth. Full ride scholarship. I was groomed to be a pre-med major. To follow in the footsteps of my father. When I told them that I wanted to be a musician and an artist, they blew up. When I told them that I'd rather go to Juilliard, which I was accepted, they kicked me out."

"And they never looked for you," Alice whispered.

"Nope. I don't even know where they live. They were in Port Angeles when I was kicked out, ten years ago. Who knows if they're still there," I seethed.

"Have you tried contacting them?"

"Why would I? I'm a failure in their eyes," I said sadly. "I'm an ex-drug user who sold his body in order to get drugs. I don't play music anymore because I have nothing to play. I pawned my guitars for drug money. I never really do much with my art except the tattoo artwork. Even that is mediocre at best."

"That tattoo you put on Bella's ribs was not mediocre," Alice said. "Compared to the rest of her ink, it's the best one on her. However, the other tattoos were done in a drunken haze. Your tattoo was the first one she's done sober. And not high."

"Bella does drugs?"

"Pot, mostly. Perhaps a little E," Alice shrugged. "Never anything hardcore. What was your poison?"

"Cocaine. Sometimes pot," I said.

"No needles?"

"Hell no. I can't stand the thought of putting a needle in my arm," I cringed. "That was part of the reason why I couldn't be a doctor. I hate needles."

"And yet you're a tattoo artist," Alice teased.

"It doesn't go into the skin, only grazes over the top of it," I said, clarifying her point.

"Potato, Potahto," she said, smacking my shoulder. "Speaking of tattoos. I want you to tattoo me."

"I'm still not allowed to tattoo clients," I said.

"I've already cleared it with your tormentor. I just need to sign a waiver," Alice said with a wave of the hand. "I want the sign from New Moon Designs on the back of my neck. But I want you to give it the 'Cullen' flair."

"Okay," I said, nibbling on my thumbnail as I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment. "When do you want to do it?"

"Tomorrow. I'll swing by after one," Alice said as we walked up to my apartment. She helped me put my new purchases away and make my used queen-sized bed. Jasper came over with some Chinese food and we watched a video that he brought over. Some vampire movie. It was lame, but I felt normal. Hanging out with my friends. Jasper eventually dragged Alice away after I took a tracing of her neck. She kissed my cheek and skipped out of my place with her boyfriend.

Sleep evaded me that night. I couldn't get comfortable. _The three hundred thread count sheets were quite nice, but my mind wouldn't shut off. _I decided to stop fighting it and I hopped into the shower. I scrubbed my body. Happy that since I've started working at Dreamstyle, I've managed to put on some weight and most importantly muscle. I still wasn't like I was before, but I'm not this lanky fucker. I actually look alive. Not a fucking zombie with tats and piercings. I headed into Dreamstyle and unlocked the door. I restocked the bathrooms and did a quick inventory. I was almost done with washing the windows when Emmett walked in. His eyes were blank and he looked tired.

"Emmett? Are you alright?" I asked.

"No. Bella and I had this huge fight. James, the other male tattoo artist, is really bugging her. He's infatuated with her. He won't leave her alone and is being very touchy feely," Emmett said as he wiggled his fingers. "She's told him to stop. Even clocked him in the balls a few times, but he just won't leave her alone."

"What was the fight about?"

"She wants me to fire James. I just can't justify it," Emmett said. "He makes us a lot of money. If I lose him, we lose a huge client base. I'm trying to rework the schedule so they are not on the same day, but it's so fucking difficult. Bella pretty much gave me an 'ultimatum.' Us or James. I hesitated and she took that as me siding with James and she left. I haven't seen her since."

"When was that?"

"Three days ago," Emmett said in a defeated tone. Emmett opened his mouth to say something more, but the shop phone shrilled through the speakers.

I jogged to the front desk, picking up the phone. "Dreamstyle Ink, this is Edward speaking."

"Edward! I need you to come to my apartment!" Alice shrieked. "It's Bella! She's gone on some sort of bender. She's incoherent."

"Why are you calling me? Call a damn ambulance," I snapped.

"Please! Edward!"

"Fine. Where are you at?"

"1885 Seersucker Lane, Apartment B208. Look for my last name on the door," Alice said.

"I'm bringing Emmett," I said.

"No! Don't. Emmett is the reason for this. Come by yourself. Please?"

"I'm on my way," I said. I hung up the phone and picked up my jacket. "Alice found Bella. She's at her apartment. Incoherent and unresponsive."

"WHAT?!" Emmett roared. "I'm coming with you."

"Alice told me that you shouldn't. You're the cause. I don't know why she's asking for me. I'm not a doctor or nothing," I said.

"But you've been through it. Help her, Edward."

I frowned and picked up my car keys. I drove to Alice and Bella's apartment. I was buzzed in and I headed up to their floor. I saw that the apartment door was open and I gently pushed through it. "Hello?"

"Master bedroom," Alice called out frantically. I removed my jacket and walked toward Alice's voice. She was in a large room on a king sized bed. Bella was laying on her stomach, her eyes closed and her mouth parted slightly. Surrounding the bed was several bottles of Grey Goose, Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo. _Jesus._ I also noticed a small baggie of white pills on the nightstand. "I can't get her to wake up," Alice cried as she tried moving Bella. I crawled on the bed and helped roll Bella onto her back.

I felt her forehead and she was hot. "Did she take the E?"

"I don't know," Alice wailed.

"She's burning up," I said as I scooped her up from the bed. "Bathroom?" Alice pointed over my shoulder. I carried Bella to the bathroom and turned on the water. I made sure it was tepid but not cold. I got into the shower, holding Bella to my chest. Once the water hit her body, she stirred. "Come on, Bella. Wake up." She groaned and tugged at my now soaking wet shirt. I gently slapped her cheeks. "Wake the fuck up. Don't be so fucking stubborn. Open your fucking eyes."

"Fuck you," she rasped as she pushed against me weakly.

"Sorry, you're not my type. I like my women to actually enjoy my company," I said, trying to get a rise out of her. "But I've been told that I can go for days when it comes to fucking. I bet you want some of that? I'm also hung like a fucking horse."

"I hate you, Whipping Boy," Bella said as she opened her bleary eyes at me. "Why are you in my apartment and in my shower?"

"Alice called. She couldn't move you," I said. "I will get out of your shower. Can I put you down?" I was still holding her, sitting up against the edge of the tub of the shower.

"Yes," she spat. I eased her feet onto the tub and stepped out of the shower. Bella lost her balance and fell into me again. "Fuck, I'm so dizzy."

"Sit on the edge," I said. "I'm going to get Alice."

"No!" Bella shrieked. Her hand reached for mine and she pulled me back. "Not Alice. She's so pissed. I can't take her pissy-ness."

"Okay," I said uncertainly. Bella released my hand her shoulders slump. "Emmett told me what happened."

"I'm so angry. Why would he choose that douche over me?" Bella spat.

"He explained his reasoning. I get where he's coming from, but I understand what you are going through, too," I said, shifting in my wet jeans. _God, that's uncomfortable._

"What does James need to do? Rape me on the job? He won't get the clue that I don't want to be touched. By him or anybody else," Bella said.

"Bella, I'm certain that all of us are willing to kick his ass if he tries anything with you," I said. "However, it's not right for you to work in such an environment where you're in fear."

"Sounds like you know," she said.

"Hello, working with you is the epitome of a hostile work environment. You hate my guts."

Bella blanched as she stood on shaky limbs. She reached for the faucet. She stumbled and I caught her before her head hit the tub. "Fuck."

"What?"

"I twisted my goddamned ankle," Bella said as I helped her up. I turned off the water and looked for a towel. I wrapped the towel around Bella's shoulders and picked her up from the tub. She smacked my head, weakly. I gave her a pointed glare. I sat her on the toilet.

"Do you mind if I check if you still have a temperature?" I ask.

"Why?"

"You were burning up when I came in. We weren't sure if you had taken the pills on the nightstand," I said quietly.

"Oh. I took two. With a Jose chaser," she said.

"E?"

"Yeah."

I raised my hands defensively and gently laid it on her forehead. She was substantially cooler. I gave her a small smile, which to my surprise, she returned. _Holy crap, she actually can smile. _"Can I check your ankle?"

"Did they give you an honorary medical degree?" Bella said, her voice softening.

"No. I keep those in my other pair of wet jeans," I teased. I looked down at her foot and it was swollen. "Ouch."

"I've had worse," Bella said, wiggling her blood red toes. "I'll be fine."

A quiet knock rang through the bathroom. Alice poked her head in. "I brought some clothes for the both of you. Are you okay, Bella?"

"I have a killer hangover," she said, ringing out her wet hair. "But I'll be fine."

"Um, Midget? I don't think I'll fit in your clothes," I said, picking at my sodden shirt and jeans.

"It's Jasper's clothes. Relax, Whip," Alice said, thrusting a pair of workout pants and a t-shirt into my hands. I got up from my crouched position and go to leave the bathroom. I hazarded a look at Bella and she has this look of panic on her face. "Bella?"

"You're not leaving, are you, Whipping Boy?" she asked, sounding afraid.

"Unless you want me stripping down to my birthday suit right here, I'm going to go in the hall bathroom that I saw when I came back here," I said.

"Oh."

I walked to the bathroom and removed my wet clothes. I put on Jasper's pants and shirt. They were a little big for me, but I adjusted the waist and I was good to go. I put my wet clothes into the sink and walked back toward Bella's bedroom. I heard Alice and Bella hissing in the bathroom. I heard my name mentioned a few times, but I didn't think much about it. I knocked on the door. "Are you okay in there?"

Alice opened the door, giving me a wide smile. "Perfect. Can you help gimpy to the bed?"

"I can walk to the bed, Alice," Bella said.

"Right. Uh huh. Sure," Alice said, disbelievingly. Bella stood up and tried to put weight on her foot and she crumbled. "Will you except Whip's help now?"

"Ugh, yeah," Bella said. I walked over to her and hefted her easily in my arms. _God, she weighs nothing. _I carried her to the bed and placed her on the comforter. Alice scampered off and returned with an ice pack and some Tylenol. "Alice, what did you do with my pills?"

"I flushed them," Alice said in a hard tone. "You shouldn't take that crap. It'll fuck with your body."

"It's not worth it," I said quietly.

"Drugs? Or Alcohol?" Bella said coldly from the bed.

"Both. Drugs especially," I said. "I'm going to go. You two obviously have some things to talk about. Alice, can I have a bag for my wet clothes?"

"Sure, Whip," Alice said as she darted into the kitchen.

"Feel better, Bella," I said.

"I'll try. Convince Emmett to fire James."

"I'll try," I said. "Later."

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," Bella whispered.

"You're welcome."

Alice handed me a bag with my wet clothes. I gave her a smile and headed out to my car. I tossed my clothes into the backseat. I climbed into the driver's side and sat in my Volvo. _What just happened? Bella actually thanked me? Hell must have frozen over. _There was one thing that lingered in my mind, I liked the way Bella fit in my arms. Like she was made to be held by me. _Don't turn into a fucking pussy, Cullen. _

I quickly shook off those thoughts and drove back to my apartment. Emmett had called and left a message saying that I should take the rest of the day off. He'd even pay me for it. In appreciation for taking care of Bella. _Whatever._ I gladly took the paid day off and spent it sleeping.

My dreams were filled with erotic images of my tormentor. She was quickly morphing into the girl of my dreams. _Who could suck like a Hoover and go all night long. _God, I'm so confused.

**A/N: So, you know more of Bella's story. Edward and Bella are making headway in their relationship. Kind of. And please be kind. I am not a doctor, nor am I recreational drug user. There have been times where I was tempted, but resisted said temptation. I'm not sure if my description of Bella's reaction to Ecstasy is accurate. Also, Alice should have called the ambulance, but that wouldn't be a fun plot twist. And I'm rambling. Leave me love. Pretty please with a Tattward on top? Thanks oodles!**


	5. Chapter 5

**_The response to this story is a bit surprising. I'm looking forward to having Edward grow as a person and the relationship with Bella develop. Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated._**

**_Things I own: a diamond engagement ring that I don't wear anymore (damn divorce), clothes that are too big for me and BluRay player._**

**_Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers_**

**Chapter 5: Three Months Ago**

"You're getting your first paying client today, Cullen," Emmett said as he sat down at my station. I finally had my own station. I purchased my own tattoo gun with some of my paycheck and I was slowly building my portfolio and kit.

"About time," I grumbled. "I'm surprised Bella is allowing it."

"She didn't want to. However, I pretty much told her that you were getting a paying client. You've done really well with Bella's tattoo and Alice's neck tattoo, in addition to the freebies you had given for that charity," Emmett said.

"If I never have to do a pink breast cancer ribbon on another person, I'll be happy. I hate pink," I said, wrinkling my nose.

"But it was for a good cause," Emmett said.

"I know," I replied. "I still can't believe you made me wear that pink shirt, though. I looked like a homo."

"All those middle aged soccer moms thought you were hot, Cullen. How many numbers did you get?"

"Too many. Too bad most of them were fugly," I said with a shudder.

"You've got to be horny, though, Edward," Emmett laughed. "It's been awhile since you've gotten some. Angela is happily dating some guy."

"You want to talk about a small world? Guess who she's dating," I said with a sardonic smirk.

"Who?"

"Ben Cheney, the snoring monster from Hades," I snorted. "I was shocked when I saw them at Pepper's."

"No shit! That's bloody fantastic," Emmett guffawed. He sauntered back to his station and began working on his sketch. We were working quietly, listening to the music that was piped through the shop. We heard a scuffle in the back hallway.

"James, I've told you, time and time again, leave me the fuck alone," Bella screamed.

"Come on, baby. You know you want this," James said as he backed her into the shop. He was cupping his junk. "It's pierced and makes women scream."

"I'd never want that," Bella said flatly. "Leave me alone."

"James!" Emmett bellowed. "My office, now."

They skulked to Emmett's office and the door slammed. The next sounds that filled the shop were of Emmett screaming at James. I looked at Bella. She was cowering at her station. "You okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

"Peachy," she snapped. She looked at me and her gaze softened. "I didn't mean to snap. He just puts me on edge."

"No big deal. At least you didn't smack me," I joked.

"No, I didn't. I can smack you around if you want," Bella said with a smirk. "But you might like that too much."

"Whatever," I said with a roll of the eyes. My relationship with Bella was just as adversarial. But we actually were able to joke and be somewhat civil with each other. Bella had appreciated the help I gave her when she nearly overdosed. She talked to me about her struggle with her addiction. She also asked about my time in rehab, after I told her. We formed a tentative friendship. It teetered on a knife's edge. However, she still put me in my place at the shop. Often. "Emmett tells me I'm getting my first paying client today."

"Yep," Bella said tersely. "Don't fuck it up. I know you value your balls."

"Very much," I chuckled.

"Don't read too much into this, Whipping Boy. As far as apprentices go, you're the best I've seen. Probably better than Emmett or me," Bella said, her cinnamon eyes shining with sincerity. "You do have a keen eye of what to put where and your shading is excellent. Once my tattoo healed, the one that you put on me, I was amazed."

"Um, wow. Thanks," I said, a blush rising over my cheeks.

"Don't expect the compliments too often," Bella said. "However, you deserved that one."

"Yes, Master," I said, giving her a salute.

"Fuck you."

"No thanks," I smirked. Actually, the idea of fucking Bella was really causing me stress. She was attractive and the more I got to know about her, the more I wanted to be with her. She had a dry sense of humor, when she was not snipping at every little thing that I did. When she was genuinely happy, which was rare, her eyes sparkled and her face came alive. Her voice was rough but very sexy. Her body was lithe, like a dancer's. She was also hopelessly clumsy.

"Excuse me?" came a quiet voice from the front desk.

"Can I help you?" I answered politely. _I can do polite. When I needed to be._

"I have an appointment with Edward Cullen," she said. She looked familiar.

"That's me," I said with my panty dropping smile. "Welcome to Dreamstyle Ink. Are you here for a tattoo?"

"Yeah. I'm Jessica. I work for Alice Brandon," Jessica said as she ran her fingers through her brown curls. "I saw the tattoo of New Moon Designs that you did on her neck and I'd like something similar."

"Where?" I asked as I flipped to a blank page in my sketch book.

"Lower back," Jessica said as she laid her hand on my forearm. She batted her eyelashes and she looked like a spastic poodle.

"How big?" I asked trying not puke.

She picked up my hand and laced her fingers with mine. "The size of your hand," she replied, licking her lips.

I removed my fingers from hers and stepped behind the front desk. "Let me sketch something out for you while you fill out this paperwork, okay?" I handed her a clipboard and a pen. She winked and skipped to the front of the shop. "Bella," I hissed.

"Yes, Whip?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

"Help!" I said in a panicked tone. "How do you handle this?"

"You don't want 'Poodle Head?'" Bella snickered. I growled and arched a brow as I sketched out Jessica's tattoo. "You're doing the right things. Be more of a prick. I know you can handle that."

"Thanks," I said dryly.

"No problemo, Whip," Bella said as she tucked some hair behind her ear. She went back to station and gave me a devilish grin.

"You're evil," I sneered.

"I know," she laughed. I finished Jessica's tattoo and called her to my station for her approval. She handed me the paperwork. I double checked that she signed at all the appropriate places before I continued further. Bella was called back into Emmett's office. She shot me a look of terror before she went in there. I quirked my brow and gave her a tentative smile.

"So, what do you think?" I asked Jessica.

"I like it. However, I want some color mixed in with it. Purple and red. Can you do that?"

"Sure," I said. "Let me make a stencil and we'll place it on your back." Jessica nodded enthusiastically and picked up her shirt, tucking it into her bra. I'm not one to judge, but she really should be flaunting her pooch. She was not the skinniest girl and she flaunted her belly proudly. I bit back a snicker as I created the stencil for her tattoo. She sat at my stool and flipped through my meager portfolio. I heard more yelling from Emmett's office. I looked to the rear of the tattoo shop, hoping that everything was alright.

"Fuck you, McCarty!" James yelled. "You're an asshole and you run a shithole tattoo parlor."

"You're fired, Pattinson!" Emmett snarled. "You crossed the line today. Pack your shit and get the hell out of my shop."

"You can't fire me. I fucking quit!" James sneered as his face turned a bright red in anger. He stomped to his station and threw his stuff into his duffel and flipped off Emmett. Bella was standing near Emmett's door and he shoved her forcefully until she hit the wall. "Fucking cunt. You're not worth it," he said menacingly over her cowering form. He kicked at her shin and he left the tattoo parlor with a huff.

Emmett was pissed. He ran after James. I approached Bella slowly. Jessica was watching with rapt attention. "Bella?"

"Go away, Whipping Boy," she spat.

_Fuck that._ "No," I said. "Let me help you into Emmett's office. So you don't have to stay on the floor."

Bella looked up at me and her cinnamon eyes were filled with tears. I crouched down and offered my hand to her. She eyed me warily and placed her tiny hand into mine. That's when I felt it. A spark. A jolt. Whatever it was, it felt great. I wanted it. I wrapped my large hand around hers and assisted her up off the floor. She tentatively put her left leg down onto the ground and winced. "God damn it!" she barked.

Without thinking, I scooped her up in my arms. Bella growled at me and I snarled back. "Stop it. Deal with being helped, Bella. You can't be so hard all of the time," I said.

"I didn't ask for your help. Now put me down," she said as she tried to wiggle out of my arms. I rolled my eyes and carried her into Emmett's office, depositing her into his chair. I put a hand on her shoulder, beckoning her to stay. Surprisingly, she didn't fight me. I jogged back to the small fridge we had in the back room. I pulled out a small ice pack and some towels. I returned to Emmett's office and gently lifted her leg. Bella let out a small whimper as my thumb grazed over her shin. I pulled up her pant leg and saw a huge bruise forming under her porcelain skin.

"I'll kill him," I fumed. "That fucker."

"Edward, don't. It's not worth it. _I'm not worth it,"_Bella said quietly. She swiped the ice pack from my hands and put it on the bruise.

"You're wrong," I said, almost to myself. "You are worth it. You obviously don't see yourself clearly." I stood up and strode out of the office. I shut the door and leaned against the wall outside the office. I ran my hands through my hair and took a few cleansing breaths. Before I headed back to the shop, I heard soft sniffling in Emmett's office. _God, she's going to put my balls in a vice._

"Edward? Is everything okay?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah, great," I lied smoothly. "Let me wash my hands and then we'll get this bad boy done."

"Awesome," Jessica said as she bounced on her toes. _Don't do that. I don't want to see the flab jiggle. Please, I'm begging you._I washed my hands, but desperately wanted to scrub my eyes. I picked up the stencil and positioned it on Jessica's back.

"Let's take a look," I said as I led her to the mirror.

"Rock on," Jessica said as she clutched my biceps. "Let's do it." I smiled tightly and led her to the chair I had set up after I had created her sketch. I laid out my inks and prepared my gun.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Definitely," Jessica said as she looked over her shoulder. I pressed the tattoo gun to her skin and began permanently branding her with the tattoo. I was nearly finished with the outline when Emmett skulked back in. His brown hair was in shambles and he looked like he had a bruise on his jaw.

"Emmett?" I asked.

"I'll tell you later. Where's Bella?" Emmett asked in a defeated tone.

"I put her in your office," I said.

"Thanks," Emmett said. He opened his office door and stepped inside. I turned back to Jessica and began adding the colors to her tattoo. After a half hour of shading, Jessica's tattoo was done. I wiped it down and helped her off the table. She bounced to the mirror. _Really? Stop that. No one wants to see your rolls bounce._

"Oh my GOD! This is fucking awesome," Jessica said as she threw her arms around my neck, pulling me into an awkward hug. I pulled away and asked her to turn around. I snapped a picture for my portfolio, only after I asked for permission. She hugged me again after I put the camera away.

"Let's wrap you up and then we'll get you settled," I said as I extricated myself from her tight embrace. I adjusted my neck and had her sit in my stool while I taped up her tattoo. I removed her shirt from her bra and pulled it down over the tattoo. I walked to the front desk and she followed me. "That will be $150," I said, looking at the cheat sheet on the desk for pricing.

Jessica opened her purse and handed me $300 in cash. "Keep the change," she winked. "And you've made a client for life."

"Thank you," I said with a crooked smirk. She waved as she left. I put the money into the register and pocketed my tip. As I finished my transaction, Angela came in and she was pissed. "What's wrong with you?"

"I was getting my orgasm on and Emmett called me into work," she said as she pulled her black hair into a ponytail. "He fired James."

"I know. I saw it happen. He propositioned Bella in the shop. Then, he shoved her into a wall and kicked her shin. It's bruised something awful," I said.

"What a fucker," Angela said. "Bella's a bitch, but no woman should be hit by a man."

"I know," I said. "Can you watch the desk while I grab a cigarette?"

"Sure," Angela said with a wink. I went to my station and pulled out my cigarettes. I walked back to the rear of the shop, stopping by Emmett's door. It was still closed. I couldn't hear anything. I continued to the rear of the shop and lit up my cigarette. I leaned against the brick wall and tried to calm my mind. I was nearly done with my cigarette when Bella limped out of the shop.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi," she said, her shoulders slumped. "I'm going home. I saw the tattoo you put on Jessica. It looked good."

"Thanks," I replied. "Are you okay? You aren't going on any bender, are you?"

"No. I'll be fine. I have a date with my good friend Jack Daniels," she quipped. "He solves all my problems."

"Right," I teased. "If you want to talk, call me."

"I may take you up on that. But I don't have your number," she said, shifting nervously. "It may be beneficial to have that if I want to fuck with you on the phone."

"Here's my cell number," I said as I rattled off my new cell phone number. "I always have it on. Call or text anytime."

Bella gave me a weak smile and hobbled to her car. It was an ancient red truck. She heaved herself up into it and pulled out of the parking lot. I stubbed out my cigarette and walked back into the tattoo shop. Emmett's door was open and he was sitting at his desk, holding an ice pack to his jaw. "Okay, spill it, McCarty," I said as I plopped down in the chair across from him.

"I kicked his ass. His face is unrecognizable," Emmett snorted. "However, he got me a few times in the jaw and once in the ribs. I think he cracked one. Maniacal bastard."

"Ouch," I said. "Are you going to file charges?"

"No. However, I told him that if I saw him again, I would call the cops. He's to not go near Bella, the shop or any of us again," Emmett seethed. "How did your first client go?"

"Great. I got a 100% tip," I said with a wink.

"Nice," Emmett said, holding out his fist. His knuckles were all bruised. I gingerly gave him a fist bump. "Can you do me a favor, Cullen?"

"What?"

"I need to place an ad for a tattoo artist. You're like smart. Write something up for me and send it off to the local papers. Okay?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett, I'm not that smart."

"Alice said that you got a full ride to Dartmouth," Emmett said.

"Meddlesome little midget," I whispered. "Yeah, I'll type up your ad" Emmett beamed and I got up to do my grunt work. We had a few walk-ins and Emmett sent about half of them to me. He had to deal with the fallout of James' abrupt termination and situation with Bella. By the end of the night, my hand was fucking exhausted and I was nearly $500 richer.

xx EC:AWIP xx

Bella didn't come back to work for a few days after her run-in with James. Alice came in the following day and picked up her sketch book. She also handed me some 'homework' for me to complete when she returned. I smiled and accepted begrudgingly. I was getting more and more clients. While Bella was home, Emmett inspected my work. He was more than impressed. He said that I was on the fast track to being a full-fledged tattoo artist. He also promised me that I was going to have a permanent spot at Dreamstyle Ink if my work continues to grow like it has been.

I was walking into my apartment when my phone shrilled in my pocket. I put down my groceries and satchel. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. "Hello?"

"Um, hi. Is this Edward?" asked a female voice.

"Speaking. Bella?" I replied.

"Yeah," she said uncertainly. "Can we talk?"

"Sure. On the phone or would you want to meet for some coffee?" I asked, trying to be nice.

"Coffee sounds good. I need to get away from Alice and Jasper's watchful eyes. Or rather, looks of pity. Meet me at Starbucks in Pike Place Market," Bella said. "In an hour."

"Okay. See you there," I said. I put my groceries away and did domestic shit, like pay bills and wrote out my rent check. I put it in an envelope and dropped it off at my landlord's mailbox. I drove to Pike Place Market and parked on the street. I sauntered into the Starbucks and treated myself to some coffee. I sat down in one of the booths near the entrance. Bella came in a few moments later, wearing a pair of jeans and tank top. She gave me a small smile and ordered some coffee. She plopped down at the booth. "How are you doing?"

"Ready to kill myself," Bella said as she toyed with her coffee. "Alice and Jasper are concerned for my well-being."

"And that's a bad thing because…?"

"I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself," Bella said, staring at me with fire in her cinnamon eyes. _God, she's beautiful._

"Bella, I've told you that I was in rehab," I said. My eyes fell to the table and I nervously fidgeted with my drink. "I would have never gone there if I didn't have help. Emmett was the one who found me after my overdose."

"You actually overdosed," Bella said.

"Yeah. I snorted so much coke. I had a mild heart attack because of it," I said, grimacing. "I'm 28 years old and I've had a heart attack."

"Wait, you're 28?" Bella asked. "I thought you were younger. Like 24 or something."

"Nope. 28. I'll be 29 in June," I shrugged.

"What led you to drugs?' Bella asked. "Never mind. You don't have to tell me. We're just co-workers who have similar stories, not friends."

_Ouch._

"Bella, I know that you are technically my _boss_ but I would hope that we could be friends and not just co-workers," I said.

"Why? I've been nothing but a super bitch to you and you want to be my friend? You really are masochistic," Bella laughed.

"Maybe I am. Hell, you've seen my propensity for tattoos and piercings. I live for pain," I joked. "Do you want to know why I got hooked on drugs?"

"If you don't mind," Bella said.

"To forget the pain of being abandoned," I said. "I was kicked out, disowned by my family at the age of 18. I didn't want to be a doctor like my father had envisioned for me. I received a full ride scholarship to Dartmouth and turned it down. I wanted to go to Juilliard and be a musician. However, that was not 'good enough' for Dr. Carlisle Cullen's only son. So, they kicked me out with the clothes on my back, my car and money in my wallet. I scrounged and fell in with the wrong crowd. I got hooked to drugs quickly. Pot at first, then ecstasy, and ending with cocaine."

"When did you OD?'

"About a year ago," I said. "About the time Emmett got the shop from Marcus."

"Shit," Bella mused.

"It was Emmett who convinced me to get clean. He checked me into a live-in rehab facility and I stayed there for six months. I had been out of there for two weeks when Emmett dragged me to Dreamstyle for the first time."

"Do you still want cocaine?" Bella asked.

"Every day. But I can't take it anymore. It will kill me. The drugs caused permanent damage to my heart," I said with a shrug. "Because I was young, that was the only thing that prevented me from dying when I overdosed. Why did you turn to drugs and alcohol?"

"Like you, to forget. The pain of what happened to me," she said. "Marcus, Emmett, Jasper and Alice are the best things in my life. If it wasn't for them, I don't know what I'd be doing."

"What is Emmett to you?"

"What does it matter," Bella snapped. "It's not like you're interested in me. I'm fucking broken. So are you."

"Just curious," I lied.

"He helped me forget the pain with fucking. He treated me the way that I wanted to be treated. And he's a great lay," Bella said. "But we stopped when he chose James over me last month. I can't be with a guy who supports a potential rapist."

"Emmett didn't support James," I said.

"Yes, he did. He still worked at Dreamstyle. Emmett tried to explain the dollars and cents of it all, but if an employee is not comfortable with another, then…"

"I could say the same thing about you," I snipped.

"But, I never made you feel uncomfortable sexually at work, did I?" Bella pressed. "James would rub against me with his disgusting cock, touch my breasts, and try to kiss me. It was gross. He was gross. He makes you look like a god damned choir boy."

"That says a lot," I snorted.

"Okay, so if you were kicked out because you wanted to be a musician, why don't you play?" Bella asked, abruptly changing the topic.

"I sold my guitar for drug money and I can't carry a piano in my back pocket," I said. "I'm saving some money to get an acoustic guitar that I saw in a pawn shop near Dreamstyle. It's a little out of my budget. It'll have to wait."

"I'm guessing you came from money," Bella said, eyeing me skeptically. "You drive a Volvo."

"A piece of shit Volvo. That thing is 12 years old," I said. "I got it when I was 16."

"I got raped for my sixteenth birthday," she whispered. "So badly."

"I'm sorry," I replied.

"I don't need your pity."

"I know. But, I don't pity you. I'm just sorry about your ordeal that you went through. When I met Emmett, I was attacked and nearly sexually assaulted when I tried to sell my body for drugs. So, I know what it's like to be touched when you don't it."

"You sold your body?" Bella asked, clearly shocked.

"You'd be surprised at who was willing to buy. I only did women. The guys who almost sexually assaulted me wouldn't take no for an answer and they kicked the shit out of me," I shrugged.

"So, you truly are a manwhore."

"Not anymore. I'll admit, I made a mistake with Angela. But, I don't want sex without meaning," I said. "How did Alice put it? Oh, right. 'A place to deposit my sperm.' I don't want that anymore."

"I don't want to even imagine what nastiness you have…" Bella said with a wrinkled nose.

"Nothing. I'm clean," I said. "I may have been a manwhore, but I'm not stupid."

"Condoms are not 100% effective, Whipping Boy," Bella said, her eyes narrowing.

"No, but the test I took when I entered rehab said I was clean. No STDs," I said with a smirk. "So, if you're wanting, I can give."

"Fuck. No. You're pretty, Whipping Boy, but not my type," Bella said, turning her face away from mine. She bit her lip and a blush crept over her cheeks. _Bella thinks I'm pretty. Wait…I should be insulted. Men are not pretty. We're ruggedly handsome._

"Sorry, if I'm too pretty for you, Bella," I said, trying to laugh of her quasi admission. "I'll work on roughing up my face."

"Don't. You're swooning fans might be pissed," Bella laughed.

"You are clearly delusional," I replied.

"I guess I am. I'm having coffee with a man who is the epitome of everything I am against. And enjoying it," she said.

"You're actually enjoying my company? I think hell froze over."

"Edward, you may drive me nuts. But there is something that I see in you that…I don't even know how to describe it. You're smart. I mean really smart. It's a shame that you are wasting your time in Dreamstyle," Bella said. "You had the opportunity to go to college. I would have killed to go to college. But you threw it away."

"I didn't throw it away, Bella. I wanted something different than what my parents wanted. I couldn't afford to go to Juilliard, even with the full ride scholarship they offered me. I had no one. Nothing. If I had an opportunity to go back to school, I would. In a heartbeat. But, that's just not feasible," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Unless I win the lottery or I have a rich grandfather who loves me enough to leave his inheritance with me. You can go to school."

"No, I can't. I am afraid of too much to go to school," Bella said sadly. "I don't trust anybody. Okay, I trust four people."

"Who?"

"Alice, obviously. Emmett, though he's further down on the list with the debacle with James. And Jasper," Bella listed off.

"You said four. Who's the fourth person you trust?"

"Um, three. I meant three," Bella lied.

"Admit it, you have some level of trust in me," I said, arching my pierced brow.

"Okay, I trust you. This much," she said, holding her fingers up centimeters apart. "You did help me with my ecstasy issue and took care of me after James was being a fucktard."

"Am I higher on the list than Emmett?" I teased.

"Right now? Yes," Bella said. "So, if you had this rich grandfather, where would you go to school? And what would you want to do?"

"I don't know. I'd probably want to go to a good music school, majoring in music or composition," I answered. "How about you? If you had a rich grandfather who left you everything, what would you want to do?"

"Go to University of Washington and get my degree in English Literature," Bella admitted. "I love reading and writing. I've tried to get myself published, but nothing has come out of it."

"I'd like to read something, if you're willing," I asked.

"Not yet," Bella said.

"Excuse me, but it's closing time and you're going to have to go," said a pimply faced boy. "Sorry."

"Holy shit, it's nine!" Bella said as she looked at her phone. "The time has flown."

"Yeah it has," I said. "Are you coming back to work tomorrow?"

"Fuck yes," Bella said as she scooted out of the booth. "I need to get out of my apartment." We left Starbucks and I walked Bella toward her car. "You don't need to escort me to my vehicle, Whip."

"Humor me," I said. "I have this feeling that something is not right."

"Are you a fortune teller?"

"No, I can read everyone's mind," I said, waggling my fingers. We rounded the corner when Bella ran into the chest of James. I immediately went on alert.

"Well, if it's isn't the cocktease of the year," James said as he ran his hands up and down Bella's body. She bristled and stepped back away from him. "And with the fuck up."

"What the fuck do you want?" I spat. I reached for Bella's hand and pulled her behind me. She moved without arguing and put her hands on my shoulder blades.

"Coffee," he said with an evil sneer. "Going to Starbucks."

"It just closed," Bella snapped. "Now, if you'll excuse us."

I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and walked briskly to her car. We brushed past James. "She'll never give you any, Cullen. She's such a frigid bitch. Don't waste your time."

"I'm going to kill him," Bella sneered. I grabbed her and pulled her flush against my chest. "Let me go, Whipping Boy."

"Don't. He's not worth it. He's just looking for a rise out of you," I said.

Bella huffed out a breath and relaxed in my arms. Her hands laid on top of my forearms and she traced the ink on them. "Would it be too much to ask you to follow me to my apartment?" she asked quietly.

"No. I'm parked across the street," I said, pointing to my car. "I'll follow you. I don't trust James. He's up to something. It's almost too coincidental that he's here."

"Right," Bella said. I released my hold on Bella and helped her into her car. I jogged to mine and did a u-turn to follow Bella to her apartment. I rode her tail, casting furtive glances out my rear-view mirror for any sign of James. We got to Bella's apartment and I parked behind her on the street. "Thank you, Whip. I appreciate it."

"No problem," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow at Dreamstyle."

"Bye," Bella said as she pulled out her keys and headed up to her apartment. I slid into my car and lit a cigarette, smoking like chimney all the way back to my apartment. I stripped down to my boxers and crawled into my three-hundred thread count sheets. But sleep did not find me. I spent the whole night worrying about Bella and our confrontation with James. I just knew that he was up to something. His mind was a lot like mine a year ago. He was a sadistic fucker who didn't let any obstacles get in the way of what he wanted. And he wanted Bella.

**A/N: Huge chapter for Bella and Edward. They're building a relationship. There's some trust. James is gone from the shop, but he's up to something, as Edward said. Leave me love! xoxox**


	6. Chapter 6

**_The response to this story is a bit surprising. I'm looking forward to having Edward grow as a person and the relationship with Bella develop. Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated._**

**_Things I own: a nest of birds in my dryer vent, two sets of china and Kitchenaid mixmaster._**

**_Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers_**

**Chapter 6: Two Months Ago**

"Everyone, this is Rosalie Hale. She's going to take James' spot in the shop. She just moved here from Chicago," Emmett said to everyone in the shop. "She specializes in portraits, color portraits and tribal ink. Rosalie, this is Angela, Edward, Alec and Bella."

"Nice to meet all of you," Rosalie said with a smirk. Her voice was husky and it matched her body. Smoking hot. "Everyone calls me Rose. I'm looking forward to get to know all of you."

"Come on, Rose. You need to fill out some paperwork," Emmett said with a grin. "Whip, can you handle my 2:00 appointment? Also, if you could have Alec order some more gloves and paper towels."

"Sure, Em," I said as I continued sketching. I turned to the new shop manager, Alec, and walked him through the ordering process. Alec was actually quite dumb. He screwed more orders than not. He lost paperwork. It was sad. Emmett hired him when he said that I was going to be a tattoo artist full time. I was still an apprentice, but my shop manager duties would no longer be needed after I trained the newbie. I trained him for two weeks and he still didn't understand. I still had to go back and re-do everything that Alec tried to do on his own.

The door opened and Alice skipped into the shop. "Hey kids!" she chirped.

"Alice, you are too fucking happy," Bella said from her station. "Why? Were you dropped on the head as a baby?"

"Nope, just a naturally cheery disposition. You might want to try it, Bella. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar," Alice chided.

"Whatever, Midget," Bella said, rolling her eyes. "So, why are you here? Is Whip going to ink you again?"

"Eventually. I have something I want to get for Jasper, but we'll discuss that later. Anyhow, I wanted to plan my birthday," Alice said as she sat at my station. "Pepper's is having an open mic night on Friday and I want everyone to come!"

"Me too?" Alec asked.

"Why not," Alice shrugged. "You're part of our crazy, dysfunctional family."

"We put the fun in dysfunctional," I snorted. "We also got a new tattoo artist. Her name is Rosalie."

"Oh," Alice said, her eyes widening with glee. "Perhaps she likes to shop. Unlike this one." Alice took a towel and tossed at Bella. "She wears the same damn thing over and over again."

"I do not, Midget. I just by the same thing in multiples," Bella snapped. "Not everyone is a fashion plate like you."

"Whip has more style than you, Bells," Alice chided. "That says a lot."

"Fuck you, Midget. I'm going for a smoke before I kill my roommate," Bella said as she got her cigarettes from her bag. "Don't burn down the shop."

"So back to my birthday," Alice said. "Pepper's is having an open mic night. It'll be a lot of fun. AND Bella said that you play the guitar. You and Jasper can jam." Alice looked at me with puppy dog eyes, her lower lip jutting out.

"Alice, I haven't picked up a guitar in nearly a year. Probably even longer," I said. "I don't even have a guitar."

"Problem solved," she said as she hopped off the counter. She darted outside and returned with a guitar case. "A gift."

"Alice," I growled.

"Open it. Please?" she wheedled. I sighed and put the guitar case on the floor, opening it up. It was the acoustic guitar that was in the pawn shop. I was so bummed when it was gone. It had been sold about two weeks ago. I picked up the black guitar and held it in my lap. I put the strap over my shoulder and strummed the strings. It was horribly out of tune. I quickly tuned it and began noodling around on the guitar.

I felt tears prick my eyes. _I can't cry. I'd look like a damn pussy._"Thank you, Alice. I appreciate it."

"I didn't get it for you. I'm just the messenger," Alice said with a smirk. "So, Pepper's at nine on Friday. Be there or be a four-sided polygon." She kissed my cheek and dashed out of the shop. I took a deep breath and put the guitar back in the case. I'd have to play with that later. I shoved the case under my station and continued working on my sketch.

The door opened and a large man came in. "Can I help you?" Alec asked.

"I have an appointment with Emmett McCarty," he boomed.

"Oh, um…Edward?" Alec said with trepidation.

I rolled my eyes and got up. "Hi, I'm Edward. Emmett is unavailable and he asked me to do your tattoo. Felix, right?" Thank goodness I had the brain to check the schedule today.

"Yeah," Felix responded. "I was hoping to work with Emmett. He was a close friend of Marcus and I really liked his style."

"Well, how about we have a consultation and if you don't like what I offer you, then we can reschedule your appointment with Emmett. Does that work for you?" I compromised.

"Sure."

"So, what do you want?" I asked as I led him to my station.

He sat down and gave me a smile. A cautious smile. He reached into his pocket and pulled out quote. "My mom just died. Unfortunately."

"I'm sorry," I said with a frown.

"This was her favorite quote. I want it on my back with the underlined words in a different font or script."

Felix handed me the quote. It was very touching: _Son, you__outgrew__my lap, but__never__my__heart._ "Let me sketch something out for you and then you can decide, okay?"

"Sure," Felix said. "I'm going to get some coffee and then I'll be back."

"I should be done in about a half hour," I said with a grin. "I hope we can work together." Felix left the shop and I began working on the sketch for the quote.

"Good technique, Whip," Bella said from her station. "I hope he comes back."

"Me too. I don't want to let Emmett down," I said. For the quote, the underlined words, I made the font be more swirly and feminine. The rest of the words were more a block type font. I also added some decorative swirls and clouds around the quote. Felix returned and he sat down next to me. "What do you think?"

"Fuck me. That's exactly what I envisioned. The girly font looks almost like my mom's handwriting," Felix said as he ran his fingers over the words. "Let's do it."

"Black and gray or do you want color?" I asked.

"Black and gray," Felix replied as he smiled at me. I handed him a clipboard with the necessary forms. I asked him to take off his shirt and he pointed where he wanted the tattoo. I went and made the stencil for the ink as he filled out the forms. I returned and checked over the paperwork. We were good to go. I placed the stencil on his back and we checked it out. He smiled and nodded. I set up my ink and began my work on his back. Rose and Emmett came out about half way through Felix's tattoo. Emmett stood over my shoulder and whistled lowly. "That bad, Em?" Felix asked.

"No. That good," Emmett replied. I smiled and continued my work on Felix's back. An hour later, I was done. I wiped off the excess ink and washed it off with some warm water.

"Ready to check it out?" I asked.

"After Emmett's rousing review, hell yeah," Felix replied. His gray eyes were sad but sparkling. He obviously cared for his mother a great deal. He got up and stood in front of the mirror. He looked over his shoulder. Tears fell onto his cheeks. "Oh my god."

Bella stood up next to me and inspected my work. She inhaled a sharp breath. Her tiny hand moved into mine and squeezed lightly. The jolt of energy was intensified. I looked down at her, into her cinnamon eyes. "Best one yet, Whip," she whispered. Her gaze softened and she gave me a genuine smile.

I returned her smile and twined my fingers with hers. Bella's face registered shock and she pulled away and went back to her station. I tried not to take her obvious rejection seriously. "So, you like it, Felix?"

"I fucking love it," he said, his voice thick with emotion. He turned to me and pulled me into a tight hug. I patted his shoulder, careful of the new ink I had placed on his back. "Don't tell Emmett, but he's been replaced."

"Your secret is safe with me," I laughed. "Let's get you wrapped up. However, can I take a photo for my portfolio?"

"Sure, man," Felix said. I grabbed the digital camera and snapped a few photos before I wrapped him and gave him after care instructions. I led him to the front desk where Alec gave him the total. Alec swiped his credit card and handed it back to him. Felix went into his wallet and pulled out some money and put it on my station. "Thank you, Edward. I'm sorry about doubting your abilities."

"Let me know how it heals. I want to see it when it's all healed up," I said with a smile.

"Sure thing. Perhaps we could go out for a beer or something," Felix said as he left the shop. I waved and pocketed my tip. $200. Another 100% tip. Not bad.

"So, Edward, Emmett tells me you are an apprentice," Rose said as she sauntered to my station. She flipped her long blond hair over her shoulder. I could see some ink on her neck. "You do some fantastic work for an apprentice."

"Thanks," I said. "How long have you been tattooing?"

"A little over six years," Rose said. "I started when I was 22. I had finished art school and I didn't want to work in a museum. I decided to try my hand at tattooing. I apprenticed in New York and then moved to Chicago. You?"

"I'm a musician at heart, but I love art," I shrugged.

"Anything else?" Rose pressed.

"Nope," I said elusively. "That's all you're getting."

"Alrighty then," Rose laughed. "When are you off?"

"About ten minutes ago," I said as I began packing up my station.

"Do you want to go out for some dinner?" Rose asked, her violet blue eyes piercing through mine. "I'm new in town and I'd like to get to know a friendly face."

"Oh, I'm not friendly," I said, arching my brow.

"Let me rephrase. You're hot and I'm interested," Rose said as she leaned forward. She licked the shell of my ear and bit down my cartilage. "Dinner?"

"Dinner," I said. "There's a place down the street. Pepper's."

Rose picked up her purse. I opened the door and followed her out of the shop. Bella was shooting me daggers as I left. _Shit, there goes our friendship. She thinks I'm a manwhore again. Why do I care?_

_Because you like her, dipshit._

"I need to drop this off in my car," I said as I held up my new guitar. I strode to my Volvo and put my guitar and satchel into the trunk. I walked back to Rose and we headed to Pepper's. We were seated immediately and ordered drinks. Rose got a beer. I drank water.

"So, Edward," Rose said as she traced the rim of her beer glass. "Are you single?"

"Currently, yeah," I said as took a sip of the water, secretly wishing it was vodka. "You?"

"Single. Definitely. I was in a bad relationship in Chicago. I left there to come here for a new beginning," Rose said.

"I'm sorry," I frowned.

"Eh," Rose said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "My ex-boyfriend was a fucking asshole. He was brutal and cruel and he tried to kill me."

I spit out the water that I was drinking and looked at Rose in shock. "Excuse me?"

"My ex tried to kill me. He's in jail for the rest of his miserable existence because of it. Want to see my scars?" Rose asked.

"Um, really?" I asked, quirking a brow. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It happened three years ago," Rose said. "I'm moving on. I'm hoping you'll let me move on with you, Edward. Like I said before, you're hot."

"Thanks," I said dryly. "You're quite beautiful too." _But not the woman I want. I'm partial to brunettes. Brunettes with a bad attitude and cinnamon colored eyes._

"So, let's just forego the pretenses and go back to my apartment and have a good time."

"Define good time," I said.

"Fuck. Let's fuck, Edward," Rose said as she got up from her side of the table. She sidled up next to me and she ran her fingers through my hair. "You want me, don't you?"

"Rose…"

"Prove it," Rose said as she looked at me. I cupped her face and crushed my lips against hers. Her hand moved to my thigh and she rubbed my cock through my jeans. "Hmmm…nice. Well hung," she mumbled against my lips. "Take me home, Edward."

_I don't want this. No sex without meaning. Build a relationship with her before fucking her._

"Rose, as much as I want to," I said. I removed her hand from my crotch. "I don't want a meaningless one night stand."

"Me neither," she pouted. "I can feel how much you want me."

"Rose, you are incredibly attractive. Gorgeous. However, if we attempt something, I don't want it to be so 'casual.' I'm starting over. From scratch. I'm not going to lie. I'm fucked up," I said. "I would like to do this properly. Take you out on a date, get you flowers, wine and dine you before we jump into bed."

"I could be persuaded," Rose said as she kissed my lips sweetly. "Hmmm, very soft lips, Edward." She nibbled on my bottom lip and caressed my top lip with her tongue. She pulled away and gave me a smirk. "You're too hot for me to deny."

"Are you usually this forward?" I chuckled as I put my arm over her shoulder.

"Yep. Are you usually this passive?" she challenged.

"Nope. Usually I'm the forward, aggressive one," I smirked. "But I've changed."

"Okay. Does this count as a date?" Rose asked, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"Not yet. We're just getting to know each other," I replied.

Rose's face fell infinitesimally. "So, no fucking tonight?"

"Sorry, no," I said. "We can make out."

"Hmmm, tempting," Rose said thoughtfully. The waiter returned with our food and we ate dinner. Surprisingly, Rose and I got along pretty well. She was a hard ass but she was sweet. She was sexy but knew how to be demure. _Perhaps something can come of this._I paid the bill with my tip from Felix and we walked back to our cars that were parked at Dreamstyle Ink. Rose walked to a bright red BMW. "So, are you coming back to my apartment to 'make out?'"

I checked my watch and saw that it was nearing 11. I had to open tomorrow. "Probably not tonight. I have to be here early to open. Our new shop manager is a bit of an idiot and we don't trust him with sharp objects."

"Pity," Rose said as she walked toward me. She snaked her arms around my waist and looked at me. "You have gorgeous eyes, Edward. So green. The color of emeralds."

"Yours are quite beautiful, too. The most perfect shade of indigo," I said, tucking some hair behind her ear. I leaned in and caressed my lips with hers. But I felt nothing. No spark. No jolt. Nothing. It felt like I was kissing my hand. Not a woman. Rose deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue between my lips. I tried to get into it, but it wasn't happening. She was not the woman I wanted to kiss. I wanted to kiss Bella.

_Yeah, right. Like that'll ever happen. She hates your guts now. You left with Rose._

I pulled away and kissed Rose's lips sweetly. I gave her a crooked smirk. "Are you working tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she said as she ran her fingers through my hair. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep. Drive safely, Rose," I said as I walked her to her car. She slid into the driver's seat and pulled away. As soon as she was out of sight, I wiped my lips. "I hate lip gloss. Nasty shit." I got into my car and drove back to my apartment. I got my mail and went upstairs. I stripped down and did my new nightly ritual. Jacking off while thinking about Bella.

I lay on the bed and I closed my eyes. With my imagination, I pictured Bella in her perfect beauty.

"_Hello Edward," she cooed. "I missed you."_

"_I missed you, too, Bella," I replied as I caressed her cheeks. I leaned down and crushed my lips against hers. Her hands fisted in my hair and she plunged her tongue between my lips. I could feel her tongue ring dance along my mouth and I groaned. My hands moved from her cheeks down her back and took purchase on her ass. I lifted her and she wrapped her legs around my waist. "So fucking perfect."_

_I carried us to the bed and I ripped off her clothes. I looked at the brunette angel beneath me in her naked glory. Her hands moved to her pert breasts, playing with her nipple rings. I bent down and pulled one ring into my mouth and I toyed with it. Bella reached for my shirt and tugged it from my body. Her fingernails danced along my back. "Edward, I need you," she moaned. "Fuck me with your tongue."_

_I pulled away and kissed down her body. I spread her legs and looked at her perfect pink pussy. Her clit was pierced and I took a long lick of her sensitive bundle of nerves. My own tongue ring danced along her slick folds. Bella's hips bucked and I growled. "So wet, Isabella," I purred. "For me?"_

"_Fuck, only you make me this wet, Edward," she said as she sat up, looking at me. With her hands, she shoved my face back to her dripping pussy. "Lick, Whipping Boy. Make me come with your tongue."_

"_Gladly," I said as I went to town on her perfect body. I spread her folds with my fingers and pulled her clit into my mouth. Bella's body undulated under my erotic touch. Her hands went to her breasts and she squeezed them with her delicate fingers. Her eyes stared into mine as I ate her out._

"_Add a finger, Whipping Boy. Fuck me with your finger," she snarled._

"_Just one," I teased as I kissed her inner thigh. She narrowed her eyes and bucked her hips again. I nibbled on her clit as I slipped two fingers into her pussy. I groaned at how tight she was. Her perfect she felt in my hands. I looked at my fingers as they entered her and saw her arousal seep down my hand. I curled my fingers in her body, focusing on her G-spot. Bella's moans increased in volume and she moved faster against my hand. "Come for me Bella."_

"_I want to come on your cock," she said as she reached for me. I kissed her soft lips, thrusting my tongue into her mouth. My pants were quickly divested from my body and I positioned myself at her entrance. "Now, Whipping Boy. I need to feel you inside me."_

_I pushed inside of her, moaning loudly at her perfection. She was so wet. So tight. "Fuck me," I said as I moved languidly in and out of her body. Bella pushed on my shoulder. I rolled us so she was straddling my waist, riding me. She watched me with rapt attention as she rotated her hips. Her hand moved to her clit and she played with her body. "God damn it," I breathed. "You are so hot, Bella."_

"_Hmmm," she said as she moved faster on my cock. "You're so big, Edward. Feels so good. I need to feel you come." She laced her fingers with mine and shoved my hands above my head. She rode me faster, her muscles clenching around me. "Edward…I'm so close." Bella's face contorted into one of pure pleasure. She leaned back and rolled her body over mine, using my knees to balance herself. Using my thumb, I fondled her clit. Bella's head fell back and she let out a guttural scream as her muscles clamped down around me. She kept moving as she came. Her orgasm triggered mine and my cock twitched inside of her, spilling into her body._

"Fuck, I really need to get laid," I grumbled as I looked down at my chest. I was covered with my own jizz. It was intense as all of my fantasies with Bella were. I got up and toweled off my body. I crawled into bed, not bothering to put on any boxers and fell into a deep and Bella-filled sleep.

xx EC: AWIP xx

"Edward! Come on, man! We got to go! Alice is waiting at Pepper's," Emmett said.

"It's not my fault that Alec is a moron. He screwed up the order for ink. AGAIN," I snapped. "Dude, you so need to fire him. I can't do his job and my job at the same time."

"Fuck," Emmett said as he rubbed his face. "I'll talk to him tomorrow and you can fix it tomorrow. Alice will have our nuts in a vice if we are not there."

"I could care less about Alice," I said.

"Now, Edward. Alice has been a good friend to you," Emmett scolded.

"She has. Probably the best one I've ever had," I said thoughtfully. Emmett growled. "Besides you, McCarty."

"That's what I thought. Please?"

"Fine," I said. I jotted down some notes and shut down the computer. I went to my station and picked up my guitar. I slipped on my black leather jacket. Emmett and I walked to Pepper's. He was adjusting his t-shirt under his jacket. "What's got you so nervous?"

"Rose."

"What about her?"

"I think she's smoking and I want to ask her out," Emmett said anxiously.

"So, ask her out," I said.

"She's got a thing for you, Edward," Emmett retorted.

"And…"

"And, don't you want her?"

"Not really. She's pretty, but not my type," I shrugged. "We went out for dinner on her first day. We kissed and there was no spark. At least for me."

"You won't be pissed if I made a move on her?" Emmett asked, his eyes filled with hope.

"No. I won't. Have at it," I chuckled. Emmett hit my shoulder a few times and did a goofy little dance. I managed to calm him down before we got into Pepper's and he made an ass out of himself. We headed toward the stage where Alice's party was being held. I put my guitar on the floor and sat down in an available seat. It was next to Bella. She sneered at me and promptly got up. She had barely said two words to me since Rose started. If she did speak to me, it was incoherent grunts. Jasper sat down in the chair that Bella had vacated.

"Hey Edward," he said. "Alice said that you'd be willing to jam with me. I was wondering if you knew 'More Than Words?'"

"Yeah, I do."

"Can you play and sing with me? I want to dedicate it to my Alice," Jasper said, his cornflower blue eyes pleading with me.

"Sure, but I'm not making any promises. I've only picked up the guitar a few times since Alice gave it to me. Or rather delivered it to me."

"You'll be fine. We're on at ten," Jasper said. "Oh, higher or lower part."

"Whatever is easier for you," I shrugged. "I'm comfortable singing whatever."

"Based off of your speaking voice, you're singing higher," Jasper chuckled. His bass voice resonated through the small space. I laughed with him and he clapped my shoulder. I flagged down a waitress and ordered a water. As much as I wanted to drink, I knew I shouldn't. It was a slippery slope. If I get 'out of control' I could relapse and I can't have that. My heart wouldn't survive it.

I looked over to Emmett and he was chatting up Rosalie. She seemed receptive to his advances and I was glad. Rose had been through so much with her ex-boyfriend. She didn't need an ex-druggie as her new one. Emmett was a good man. Salt of the earth type of guy. He'd treat Rose right. The waitress returned with my water and I took a few drinks. I looked around for Bella but couldn't find her._She's not with you. Why bother. Find some tail and get some release, idiot._

Alice danced over to me and sat on my lap. "What did you do to my roommate?" she asked, giving me a glare.

"I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. She's been giving me the cold shoulder all week," I answered.

"You didn't bang Rose, did you?"

"What? No! We had dinner and kissed. But we did not have sex," I said, arching my brow. "Rose wanted to, but I refused."

"Oh. So, no sex. Good job, Whip. You're turning a corner on your manwhorish ways," Alice said as she wrapped her tiny doll arms around my neck. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Midget," I said. "Happy Birthday. I'm sorry I didn't get you anything."

"You can put my latest tattoo on my body," she said.

"And that would be what?"

"The Texas flag. In honor of Jasper," Alice said dreamily.

"Where do you want this flag?" I asked.

"On my ribs," Alice answered. "When can you do it?"

"Swing by tomorrow. I'm free from two until four. I'll work on the sketch tonight."

Alice squealed loudly and grabbed my face. She kissed my lips chastely and bounced on my lap. "You are the best, Whip! I love you!"

"Thanks, Midget. I love you, too," I said. And I actually meant it. She was such a good friend. Like a sister almost.

"I'm going to find Jasper and tell him. Maybe you can put a matching tattoo on him," Alice said, her eyes wide. She bounced off my lap and darted off.

Bella had returned and she looked a little bleary. She plopped down next to me and took a shot of Jack Daniels. "You can't ignore me forever, Bella."

"Yes, I can," she said as she looked at me with hazy eyes. "You are a manwhore."

"And you slept with your boss. Point being?" I challenged.

Bella looked at me with loathing and contempt. "You have no right to say anything about that."

"Maybe I don't, but it's a double standard. I can't fuck someone without having you be pissed off at me. If I knew any better, I'd say that you're jealous," I said, smirking as I sipped my water.

"I'm not jealous," Bella spat. "Why would I be jealous of you?"

"I don't know. But, this cold shoulder and silent treatment that you're giving me is starting to bug me. Piss me off."

"Did you fuck her?"

"Who?" I asked.

"Rose. Did you fuck her?"

"No, I didn't. We went out to dinner and kissed. That was it. Honestly, I think Emmett is interested in her. See?" I said as I pointed to where Emmett and Rose were getting very comfortable. "She's not my type."

"Since when do you have a type?" Bella asked.

"I've always had a type. I just never realized it until recently," I shrugged.

"And what is your 'type?' Breathing?" Bella asked sarcastically.

"No. Petite, brunette, sassy, beautiful," I said, describing Bella. I looked at her and she was biting her lip. "The thing is the woman I'm interested in hates me."

"Doesn't hate you," Bella said as she looked at me. Her gaze softened and I almost saw vulnerability there. My face probably reflected hers.

"Edward, we're up!" Jasper said.

_Fuck my life. Talk about the WORST timing. Ever._

"I'm singing with Jasper for Alice. Don't leave, please?" I asked. "Please, Bella?"

"I won't leave," she whispered.

I smiled and got up from my chair. I took out my guitar and strode up to the stage, sitting down on one of the stools that were set up. Jasper put the tabs of the song out in front of us. We tuned quickly and began playing a few bars just to make sure we were on the same page.

"Hi, I'm Jasper Whitlock and this is Edward Cullen. We're singing 'More than Words' by Extreme. This is dedicated to my beautiful girlfriend who is celebrating her 25th birthday tonight. I love you, Alice. Enjoy," Jasper said into the microphone. Alice bounced on her toes and squealed as we began playing.

_Saying "I love you"__  
><em>_Is not the words I want to hear from you__  
><em>_It's not that I want you__  
><em>_Not to say, but if you only knew how easy__  
><em>_It would be to show me how you feel_

More than words  
>Is all you have to do to make it real<br>Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me  
>'Cause I'd already know<p>

What would you do if my heart was torn in two  
>More than words to show you feel<br>That your love for me is real

What would you say if I took those words away  
>Then you couldn't make things new<br>Just by saying "I love you"

More than words

I looked over to where Bella was sitting. Her cinnamon eyes were watching me. I held her gaze as we continued playing. I sang for her. Just for her. Something about this woman woke me up. Made me feel alive. Like I was important. Like I was worthy of something more. Sure, she may have a hard streak, but Bella was incredibly complex and smart and beautiful.

Now but I've tried to talk to you  
>And make you understand<br>All you have to do is close your eyes  
>And just reach out your hands<br>And touch me  
>Hold me close, don't ever let me go<p>

More than words  
>Is all I ever needed you to show<br>Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me  
>'Cause I'd already know<p>

What would you do if my heart was torn in two  
>More than words to show you feel<br>That your love for me is real

What would you say if I took those words away  
>When you couldn't make things new<br>Just by saying "I love you"

More than words  
>More than words<br>More than words  
>More than words<br>More than words

We finished our song and the bar erupted into applause. It felt good to play again. It felt good to feel again. Jasper shook my hand and we walked off the stage. I put my guitar back into its case and walked to Bella. She grabbed my hand and led me out to the rear door of the bar.

Once outside, Bella took out a cigarette and lit it with a shaking hand. "What were you saying earlier? Before you went up to the stage?" Bella asked.

"I like you, Bella. Everything that you have done to me should make me hate you, but I feel the opposite. You are incredibly talented, smart, and beautiful. I've never felt a pull to someone like I feel with you," I answered honestly. "But, you put off this vibe that you absolutely hate my guts. All because of my actions. I know I fucked up on the first day. However, I haven't done anything like that since. Don't let that one mistake cloud your judgment of me. I'm willing to change. Hell, I've already changed."

"I can see the change, Edward," Bella replied as she took a drag from her cigarette. "But, I'm not going to lie. I'm fucked up. Broken beyond repair. I trust a few people and keep everyone at arm's length."

"I don't blame you for that," I said. I patted my pockets. I needed a cigarette. Bella chuckled and pulled out her pack. I swiped a cigarette and lit it up. "I'm hesitant to trust people, too. I'm hesitant to trust myself. But, I want to be with you. Separate, we're fucked up. However, together, we may be able to fix each other."

"I want to try one thing," Bella said. "Don't move." She tossed her cigarette and put her hands on my face. Her cinnamon eyes looked into mine and searched for something. I'm not sure what, but I didn't move. I was frozen in place, in shock that her hands were touching my face. She pulled my face down closer to hers, inch by inch. Our lips were millimeters apart when Alice burst through the door.

"Bella! Jasper proposed!" Alice screeched.

Bella jumped away and released my face. "Congratulations, Alice," she said, trying to insert the right amount of enthusiasm into her voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was interrupting something," Alice said sheepishly. "Carry on." She turned and went back into the bar.

"I think I'm going to kill her," I said darkly.

"Join the club," Bella said, laughing. "She really knows how to kill the mood."

"Yeah," I said, rubbing my hands through my hair. "Do you want to go back in?"

"I just want to go home. Could you walk me to my truck?" Bella asked.

"Sure. Let me get my jacket and guitar," I said. "Do you have anything in there?"

"My coat," she replied. I nodded and headed inside to get our coats and my guitar case. I hugged Alice and congratulated her on her engagement. I waved at Emmett and Rose who were in a passionate embrace. I walked back to Bella and helped her put her coat on. "Thank you."

"No problem."

We walked back to Dreamstyle in silence. A tense silence. I could tell that Bella wanted to say something but was hesitant to do so. I wanted to hold her hand. Put my arm around her waist. Anything to touch her. To get that feeling of electricity back. It was magnetic when she touched my face. I wanted, no, needed more of it. We got back to the shop. Bella opened up her truck and looked at me. "Thanks for walking me back to my beast," she chuckled.

"It's not a big deal," I shrugged. "I'll probably wait until you leave before I go."

"It's really not necessary," Bella said. She climbed into the truck and put the keys in the ignition. It wouldn't start. It clicked but wouldn't start. "Okay, maybe it is necessary."

"Come on, I'll drive you home," I said. "If you don't mind driving in a Volvo."

"I'll let it slide. This one time," Bella snickered. We walked to my car and I opened up the passenger side. Bella got in. I put my guitar into my trunk and slid into the driver's side. "I see you got your guitar. Did you get it from the pawn shop?"

"Actually no. Alice gave it to me on Monday," I said. "But she didn't get it for me."

"Interesting," Bella said as she looked out the window. I arched a brow as I started my car. I eased it out of the parking lot and headed toward Bella's apartment.

We drove to her place in silence. I flipped through some radio stations, but couldn't find anything that I liked so I turned it off. Bella was nibbling on her fingernail as I drove through the darkened streets of Seattle. I pulled up to her apartment and put the car into park. "Home sweet home."

"Yeah," Bella replied. She turned and looked at me. Her cinnamon eyes searching again. She leaned across the console and her lips brushed mine. The electricity that I felt when her fingers were on my face was NOTHING compared to her lips. All too soon, Bella got out of the car and she ran to her apartment. I waited until her lights were on before I pulled away. I ran my fingers over my lips and smiled at how her mouth felt against mine. It was only for a second, but it was perfection. I wanted more. I needed more. But the question is, will she give me more?

**A/N: They kissed. Not a deep searing kiss but a kiss nonetheless. Also, some mastubatory lemonade. Leave me love. XOXO!**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated._**

**_Things I own: a Bose sound dock, purple nail polish, and clothes that are too big._**

**_Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers_**

**Chapter 7: One Month Ago**

I was sitting in my apartment, jamming on my guitar. It was my day off. I had worked the past six days straight. Angela was sick and Alec was let go. I was pulling double duty as a tattoo apprentice and shop manager. When I wasn't inking people, I was ordering stuff and maintaining the schedule. I spent the morning doing laundry and cleaning out the nastiness that was my fridge. Half of the shit in there was unrecognizable, growing green fuzz and sprouting horns. The afternoon was at the store, buying more food for my fridge to grow fuzz.

I finished my errands and made some dinner. A healthy meal of pizza and diet coke. YUM! I washed my dishes and was sitting on my second hand couch that smelled like cat piss. _Perhaps I can con Alice into coming furniture shopping with me. I need a new couch. This is gross._I was playing my guitar idly, just letting the notes flow from my body. My eyes were closed and I was enjoying the quiet. God knows that it is NOT quiet at the shop. Emmett is always booming. The music is pumping. Bella is always yelling. At me. You'd figure that after Alice's birthday, she would have eased up.

Yeah, not so much.

If anything, she's gotten harder on me. More of a bitch. More of a tyrant. I was so over it. I had laid my heart on the line and she responded by turning up her bitch-o-meter to extra high. Her expectations of my artwork were insanely unobtainable. Her critiques were inconsistent. Her mood was sour and I had no idea why. I made the decision to call her out on it tomorrow. We were opening the shop and a few hours alone before the rest of the crew showed up. Bella didn't have any clients booked and I had caught up on all the ordering.

My phone rang from my coffee table. I picked it up and saw that it was Alice. "What up, Midget?" I barked into the phone.

"Can you tattoo Jasper for me?" she asked.

"Um, sure?" I snorted. "I'd have to check my schedule."

"Great. He wants the date he met me and the date he proposed tattooed on his right wrist," Alice chirped.

"Why me? You have a roommate who is a tattoo artist and you're friends with Emmett."

"Honestly?"

"No, I want you to lie, Alice," I said dryly.

"Ass."

"You know this, Midget."

"You have really nice handwriting. Very neat and it translates well to tattoos," Alice answered for me. "I'm surprised you even entertained the idea of being a doctor. Isn't it a given that doctors should have horrendous, illegible handwriting?"

"Sure, Alice."

"Also, Bella has been weird the past few weeks. Cold. Detached. Bitchy," Alice said in a frustrated tone. "I think she's bitter that I'm engaged and she's not. However, she's not even seeing anybody. Unless you two are bumping uglies."

"No, Alice. She's been displaying the same behavior at work. Times ten," I sighed. "She's been horrendous to me. Especially."

"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. You looked so comfy when I walked out on you at my birthday. Like you were about to kiss," Alice said.

"I think that's what Bella wanted. However, it didn't. At least not behind Pepper's. It happened in my car outside your apartment. Short and sweet."

"And…?" Alice shrieked.

"It was perfect. Alice, I felt something I'd never felt before. My heart skipped a beat and butterflies assaulted my stomach when her lips touched mine. Fuck, I sound like a girl," I groaned, falling back on my cat-piss couch.

"You like her?"

"I do. And I told her as such. I was hopeful that something would come of it, but the next day at work she was mega bitch. I'm going to talk to her about it tomorrow."

"Good. Tell her that her roommate is ready to throw out her closet and replace it with pink, frilly dresses."

"God! I would pay money to see that," I guffawed. I laughed hysterically, tears falling down my cheeks. Alice's tinkling laugh was in my ear.

"Edward, you are a good man. You know that?" Alice said as we sobered up. "I know that you think that you aren't, but you really are. Don't let my bitchy roommate or anyone else tell you otherwise. You're like the older brother I never had."

"Thanks, Alice. You're the little sister I never had too," I said, smiling into the phone.

"I mean this when I say it and it's strictly a familial feeling. But, I love you, Edward," Alice said.

"I love you, too, little sister," I said, my heart bursting from my friend. My sister.

"Good luck with Bitchella," Alice said as she ended our conversation. "Text me with your schedule so Jasper can get his tattoo."

"Will do. Thanks for the wish of good luck. I'll need it," I said, running my hand through my hair. We said our goodbyes. I set my alarm and crawled between the sheets, wishing that Bella was curled up next to me. However, with her recent behavior, the likelihood of that happening was slim to none.

xx EC: AWIP xx

I rolled out of bed and stumbled to the shower. I hosed myself off, scrubbing my body. I sauntered toward my closet and pulled out a pair of jeans and black button down shirt. My clothes had steadily improved since I've met Alice. She thought me her 'personal Ken doll.' I couldn't afford new clothes, so I happily accepted Alice's rejects. They were jeans with mismatched stitching or a shirt with a missing button. I had also taken up some running and working out with Emmett. I was almost back to the shape I was in before I went into rehab. My abs were more defined. I had the little 'v' that led down to my cock and I was feeling better about myself. Physically, I mean. Emotionally and mentally, I was still a mess. I still felt like a failure. I wanted my parents to find me. It's been ten years. They can't still hold a grudge against me. Really?

_Yes, they can. Get over it. You're dead to them._

I shook off my feeling of despair and I grabbed my jacket, keys and wallet. I needed coffee. I decided to treat myself to some Starbucks. Being a nice guy. _Okay, not really_. I decided to pick up some for Bella. Hopefully if I come bearing gifts, she'll be nice to me. _Unlikely, moron._

I got to Dreamstyle Ink and unlocked the door. I punched in the code for the alarm system and carried my bag and coffees to my station. I sauntered to the front desk, turning on the computer and flipping the voicemail system off. I listened to the messages, jotting down a few that required Emmett's attention. There were a few for Bella and a handful for Rose, Angela and me. I was slowly building a client base and I was thrilled. Jessica, though incredibly annoying, came back for a few more tattoos. Each of them on a more risqué part of her body. The last one was on her breast. I had to take her to Emmett's office to complete that one. I refused to have her whip out her tit for me to tattoo in the middle of a crowded tattoo shop. Jessica tried to use the opportunity to get me to find her attractive. She touched me, flirted with me, brushed up against me…anything to get me to pay attention to her. It was pathetic, really. When I was done with her boob tattoo, she paid me and gave me her usual tip, plus her phone number. I smiled as she left and threw the number out, shuddering at her advances.

"Mother fucking truck," Bella screamed. "I swear I'm going to lose my god damned mind!"

"What's wrong?" I asked from the front desk.

"I have no idea. It's steaming and making incredibly loud noises," Bella said as she slammed her stuff by her station. "I fucking hate that thing, but I can't get a new one."

"Why?"

"I just can't."

"Okay, then," I said as I handed her messages. "Do you want me to take a look at it?"

"Why? Do you know anything about cars?" she snarled.

"I rebuilt the engine of my Volvo twice," I said. I strode out of the shop with Bella on my heels. She opened the car, shooting daggers at me the entire time. The hood popped open and I raised it up. There was a ton of steam and I coughed. I waved my arms to try to dissipate the steam. "Was it doing this while you were driving?"

"Yeah," she said, nibbling her lip, toying with her lip ring.

I looked into the car and frowned. "Can you grab a towel from the shop?"

"Sure," Bella said as she darted back into the shop. She returned a few minutes later with a few towels and a water bottle. Using the towel, I checked different gaskets and pipes in the truck. "What's wrong?"

"Your radiator's cracked," I said with a grimace. "And you're leaking antifreeze. Haven't you noticed a green puddle under your beastly truck?"

"No. But I haven't thought to look," Bella said sadly. "I…I…fuck!"

"Bella, I can fix this. But only temporarily. You'll need to take it to a mechanic to get the radiator fixed. It looks like you're going to need a new one," I said as I wiped my face. The steam was really hot and I was sweating. _Great, I'm going to have to go home to change so I don't smell like a pig._

Bella giggled. _Wait, giggled?_I looked back at her and arched a brow. "You have grease on your cheek."

"Great," I mumbled. "Do you want me to fix it for you so you can take it to a mechanic? Or do you want a tow truck?"

"You. You fix it, please?" Bella said with a defeated sigh.

"I'm going to let this cool down a little bit and then I'll fix what I can. After work, I'll follow you to a garage and take you home. Is that okay?"

Bella didn't respond but nod. She did pick up a clean towel and dampened it with some water. She took my hand and led me to the bed of her truck. She gently wiped the grease off my face, her eyes looking so sad. Her wiping was getting harder and it was hurting. I stopped her hand, wrapping my fingers around her wrist. "Bella?"

"You're a mess. I need to clean you up," Bella said as she methodically continued to wipe my face. A lone tear fell down her cheek. Once she felt that she dropped the towel and ran off down the street.

_Do I follow or do I let her be?_

Her strangled sob answered my question. I took off after her and found her huddled on a park bench sobbing uncontrollably. "Bella? What's wrong?" I asked as I sat down next to her, putting my hand on her back. She flinched and looked at me. The sorrow in her eyes and in her expression was heartbreaking. She threw herself into my arms and sobbed into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her. _This is about more than the damn truck. Something is definitely wrong._

We sat in the park for who knows how long. Bella pulled away and wiped her cheeks. "I bet you're wondering why I'm an emotional wreck over my truck."

"It's not about the truck is it?" I asked.

"No. It's more than the truck. The truck doesn't even matter. It's _today._That's what is bothering me."

"It's March 27th," I said. "Something happened on March 27th."

"Yeah. I'm telling you something that no one else knows about. Except Alice," Bella whispered. "Nobody else knows this and if you tell anyone, I will kill you."

"I'm sworn to secrecy," I said.

"On March 27th, 2003, I gave birth to a baby boy," Bella said so quietly, I almost didn't hear it. "He was a product of one of my many rapes by Jacob."

"What happened to him?" I asked as I held her closer to my chest.

"I gave him up for adoption. He would have been eight today," Bella sniffled.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I can't imagine having to give up a child," I whispered. She shrugged. "What triggered your…emotional moment?"

"Wiping your cheeks," she said as she laid her head against my shoulder. "I could have been wiping my son's cheeks."

"Not to be a smart ass, but I'm a little bit bigger than an eight year old," I said, trying to lighten the mood. Bella smacked my chest. "Ow!"

"Pussy," she snickered. She nestled closer to me and took a deep breath. "I know I've been hateful toward you."

"Um, random," I chuckled.

"Admit, Whipping Boy. I've been a bitch."

"You have. I didn't know or understand why. Was my kissing expertise that bad?" I joked. _SMACK!_ "Damn it, woman! Stop hitting me!"

"Cullen! Swan! Why is my shop 'unlocked' and no people working in it?" Emmett yelled from the parking lot.

"Fuck," Bella said as she got up from my lap. "Um, can we talk later? Please?"

"I still need to address your car," I said as I stood up, trying to calm the monster in my jeans. _She just confessed that she gave up her son for adoption. A son conceived from rape and you're at attention? What the fuck is wrong with you?_

"I'll call a tow truck. Can we just talk after work? I don't know. At your place, maybe?" Bella asked in a tiny voice.

"Of course," I said as I took her hand. She flinched again looking down at our hands. She twisted her hand and interlaced her fingers with mine. She gave me a small smile and tugged on my hand. We walked back to Dreamstyle. We were greeted by a very pissed off Emmett. "Em, relax. The front door is still locked."

"If there is ANY money missing or anything is wrong, I will personally kick your ass, Cullen."

"It was my fault, Emmett," Bella said. "I had issues with my truck and I got frustrated. Edward helped talk me down. Don't be pissed at him. Be pissed at me."

"Fine," Emmett said coldly. We walked into the shop and went about our usual routines of opening it up. Thankfully, there was nothing missing and Emmett got mad for nothing. It didn't stop him from smacking me upside the head. _What the fuck? Why is everyone hitting me today?_

xx EC: AWIP xx

Around lunch time, Bella's truck was towed to a garage. Emmett offered to drive her there after work, but she insisted that I do it. The afternoon dragged. I had one client who wanted a massive back piece. Bella was hesitant for me to do it, but the client, a friend of Felix's, had demanded that I do it. We started with the outline today and would finish the rest in two weeks.

Bella and I left around six. "Do you want to get something to eat? Or pick something up?" I asked as I gallantly opened her door.

"I'm in the mood for Chinese," Bella said as she gave me a weak smile. "Go to Mr. Foo's on Piedmont. He has the best spring rolls."

"Okay," I said as I backed my car out. I drove to Mr. Foo's and we ordered our food. I carried the bag after I paid. I may be broke, but I'm not cheap. Even though Bella and I aren't _anything_ I was not about to let her pay for dinner. I drove us back to my apartment and we headed up to my 'home.' I began panicking. Was there dirty clothes on the floor? Was my bathroom disgusting? Would she make a comment about my cat piss couch? _This was such a bad idea._

I unlocked the door and prayed that it didn't smell like dirty socks or anything gross. I pushed the door open and led Bella inside. "Lovely place, Edward," she deadpanned.

"Broke, remember?" I said, circling my head with my hand. "It's in a good neighborhood. Shut it."

"Okay, Whipping Boy," Bella said, arching a brow.

I rolled my eyes and took out my plates and silverware. I dished out the food and brought our food to the couch. I handed Bella something water. "Got anything stronger?"

"No. Sorry. I had beer that one night at Pepper's and I felt out of control. I needed a fix. So, I'm avoiding alcohol," I grimaced.

"Oh. I didn't mean to make you…"

"You didn't. Don't worry about it. I'm not a drunk. Just a druggie," I teased. "I know my triggers and I want to avoid them."

"So, back to our conversation from this morning," Bella said as she tucked into her fried rice. "I love Mr. Foo's."

"Focus, Bella," I teased.

"Oh, right. Um, the hateful bitch nonsense."

"Keep going," I said.

"I have another confession," Bella said, a blush covering her porcelain skin. "Um, that was my first kiss."

"Shut the fuck up," I said as I swallowed my egg roll. "Really? But you've been with Emmett."

"We never kissed. Jacob, the asshole, never kissed me. Not that I wanted him to, anyway," Bella shrugged. "I've had sex, popped out a kid, but never been kissed. I honestly never had the desire to be kissed. Until Alice's birthday."

"You wanted to kiss me?" I squeaked. _Way to go, Cullen. Freak the poor girl out._ "But that doesn't explain why you were so…um…"

"Hateful. Bitchy. Condescending. Need I go on?"

"Right. That covers it."

"I, um, fuck. I don't know how to say this, but I am attracted to you, Edward. I have a horrible way of showing it. I was afraid of the feelings that I felt after I kissed you," Bella mumbled as she pushed her plate onto the table. "God, I have the emotional maturity of a second grader."

"Yeah, you do," I said, wrinkling my nose. _SMACK!_ "Fuck me. Stop with the hitting. My pecs can't take anymore. My poor nipple rings."

"You're nipples are pierced?" Bella asked.

"Yep. But I'm so not showing you since you probably bruised the hell out of them," I said, arching my pierced brow. "Is Jacob your son's father?"

"Yes," Bella said as she sat back on my cat piss couch. "It happened in July. I think he was conceived on Jacob's birthday. He was extra brutal with me that day. He turned 22 and raped me 22 times."

"I'll kill him," I snarled. "If I see him, I'll kill him with my bare hands."

"Get in line. Emmett and Jasper are first," Bella said with a dark chuckle.

"No man has the right to do what he did to you. I may be an asshole, but I never forced myself on a woman. I never will. It sickens me to even think that," I cringed.

"Edward, I want to tell you that when I first met you," Bella said as she laid her hand on my forearm, "I saw a lot of Jacob in your actions. However, as I've gotten to know you, you're nothing like him. I made a snap judgment and I did so unfairly."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"Shit, I'm not good at this emotional shit. I'm so used being closed off and hard. Not vulnerable," Bella whispered. "In that one brief kiss, all of Jacob's hateful things were erased. I wanted more. I want more from you. But, I'm afraid of it. Afraid that if I lay my heart on the line and you hurt me, I won't survive. I shut down after I gave birth to Paul. My son. Post partum depression played into that. If it wasn't for Alice, I wouldn't have even…I can't even imagine."

"I've always been curious how you met Alice," I said.

"I was in the hospital and Alice was visited a friend. She came into my room by accident and found me crying. I was sobbing over giving up my son. I was sobbing at my lost innocence. I was just sobbing. She crawled into bed with me and held me as I cried. This perfect stranger was comforting me. She moved me into her apartment and helped me get over all of my bullshit. She got me into therapy. She helped me get a job and introduced me to Marcus. I worked as a shop manager in another shop, Twilight Ink that was owned by Marcus' partner, Aro. He was the one who noticed that I had talent. He wanted to apprentice me, but there was something about him that was…off. I asked Marcus the next day and I quit Twilight. I moved over to Dreamstyle and worked my way up the ranks. Like you're doing now. Only much slower. I was still hesitant to trust anybody. I still am. You are the only person, besides Alice, who knows my true story."

"Thank you," I said in a voice barely above a whisper. My eyes looked into her deep cinnamon ones and they shone with tears. "Thank you for trusting me with your story."

"Thank you for giving me my first kiss," she blushed, tucking her short brown hair behind her ear.

"Can I give you your second real kiss?" I asked, a blush covering my own cheeks. _God, I feel like I'm in high school. But this is good. I want this. I want her. To protect her._ Her cinnamon eyes captured mine and she searched them. She was always searching. I prayed she found what she was looking for. She nodded imperceptibly and bit her lip. I cupped her face with my hands. Her perfect heart-shaped face. I leaned forward and closed my eyes. Before my lips brushed against hers, I felt her sigh and her body relax. With tenderness that I didn't know that I possessed, I kissed her soft lips. Her mouth moved with mine and she moved closer to me. Her hands moved to my shoulders and they traced up to my neck. I gently nibbled on her bottom lip, licking her lip ring. Bella moaned quietly and her mouth opened. I wanted, desperately to slide my tongue through her warm lips, but not yet. She was in control.

Bella's fingers moved to my face and she gently glided them across my cheekbones and to my hair. Her tongue tentatively traced my bottom lip and I felt the tongue ring against my mouth. My hands moved from her face down to her back, holding her tightly against my chest. Bella's tongue moved along my mouth again, almost asking for entrance. I opened my mouth and Bella's hot tongue glided through my lips and danced with mine. Her fingers tightened in my hair and she pulled me closer. My need for breathing was too great. I removed my lips from hers and I pressed soft kisses to her cheeks, down her jaw and to her earlobe. With each kiss, the rigidity in her body lessened and she molded herself to me.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and she straddled my waist, nuzzling her nose against my neck. I felt dampness on my shoulder. "Don't cry, Bella," I said as I held her securely to my body.

"Thank you," she whispered as she kissed my cheek. I looked at her and for the first time since I'd known her, her eyes showed something besides sadness and resentment. They were filled with contentment. _You did that, you douche. Good job!_ Her eyes fluttered shut and she nestled closer to me. I pressed my cheek to her hair and inhaled her scent. It was a combination of vanilla, strawberries and tobacco. Eventually Bella's breathing evened out and she grew heavy against me.

"Bella?" I whispered. She hummed contentedly but did not stir. She was asleep. I scooted forward from my cat piss couch and wrapped her legs around my waist. I stood up and carried her to my bed. I placed her on my freshly laundered three-hundred count sheets, brushing her hair from her face. I moved away.

Bella's brow puckered. "Stay," she moaned. I got into the bed and she curled against me. _Just like your dreams. Well, not just like your dreams. You were both naked in your dreams, perv._I set my alarm on my cell phone and wrapped my arms around her. My eyes fluttered shut. For the first time in ten years, I did not feel like a failure.

**A/N: Not what you expected, huh? But, they may have made headway…danger lurks around the corner. Leave me love. Or hate. Or something in between. xoxox**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated._**

**_Things I own: a sunburn (HA!), All of the Twilight books in paperback, and some gray hair._**

**_Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers_**

**Chapter 8: The End of Edward's Apprenticeship…**

I felt a slight tickling on my chest. I scrunched my face and tried to discern why I was being tickled on my chest. Did I inherit a cat in my sleep? A dog? A parakeet? What the fuck? I took a deep breath and turned my body. Only, I couldn't. There was a heaviness on my shoulder. I cracked open my eyes and looked down. I saw Bella's cinnamon eyes looking up at me warily. I smiled sleepily. "Morning," I croaked.

"Hi," Bella responded. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. I never sleep. Insomniac. Big time."

"How did you sleep, Bella?"

"Amazingly well," she blushed. "You make a good pillow."

"Thanks," I said dryly. "Do you want some coffee?"

"No. Not really. I probably should head back to my apartment. I need to shower before going into Dreamstyle. I don't think Emmett would like me coming to work two days in a row in the same clothes," she snickered.

"You can shower here. I have a few Dreamstyle shirts here if you want," I suggested. I wasn't ready to let her go.

"Probably not. Tempting, but not going to happen," Bella said. "Can you drive me back to my place? I know that you're not on until after 2 today. You can go back to sleep."

"Sure," I said, sighing in defeat. Bella got up and walked to couch. She slipped on her shoes and searched through her purse for some gum. She popped it into her mouth. She tossed me a stick and I did the same. I slid on my jacket and picked up my car keys. We headed down to my Volvo, driving back to her apartment in silence. As we drove, butterflies were attacking my stomach. _Why the hell am I nervous?_

We got to her apartment and I pulled up to the curb. "I know we didn't do much last night besides talk," I began.

"And kiss," Bella added, giving me a crooked smirk.

"And kiss," I chuckled, "But I had a good time. You are actually kind of cool, when you're not a…"

"A bitch?" Bella said as she looked at me. "I'm trying, Edward. Really I am. I'm just so used to being hurt and screwed. I don't trust anybody. Talking to you like I did last night was a HUGE step for me. Please don't take it personally if I'm distant or hesitant around you."

"I'll try," I said, reaching across the console for her tiny, delicate hand. She cowered slightly but accepted my hand. Her fingers weaved through mine. Bella stared intently at our fingers that were twined together. "What's wrong?"

"This is nice," she said as she squeezed our hands. With her gentle squeeze, I felt a surge of energy. I never wanted it to stop. Her body called to me. Her mind spoke to me. Her heart was broken, but needed to be healed. Like mine. "I've never really held hands with a guy before. I mean, with Emmett, we held hands and snuggled, but not this."

"Why do you flinch when I do it, though?" I asked.

"I'm afraid you're going to hurt me. Break my hand like Jacob did so many times," Bella whispered. She rolled up her sleeve and showed me a scar from a surgery. "This was a really bad compound fracture. Jacob tried to get me to play it off that it was just a sprain. My bone was poking through my skin. That's definitely not a sprain."

"What happened?"

"Jacob dragged me to the hospital, saying I broke my wrist falling down the stairs," she shrugged.

"You mention Jacob. But whatever happened to him? Is he still around?" I questioned.

"He's dead," Bella said flatly. "I've got to go. I'm opening with Rosalie." Bella sneered the last word. "God, I hate her. She's so arrogant and smug."

Bella removed her hand from mine and got out of the car. She sprinted up the stairs to the apartment, not looking back to the car. Several things went through my head: how did Jacob die? Is he really dead? Why did Bella bolt?

I was contemplating these things when a motorcycle whizzed past my car. It was dangerously close to my car and I laid on the horn. The driver flipped me off , his blond ponytail whipping behind him._James? Can't be._

God, this day started off SO well. Now, it's a clusterfuck. I'm so going back to bed.

xx EC: AWIP xx

As Bella had predicted, she barely acknowledged my existence at the shop. She was cold and detached. When we left, she usually warmed up to me. This hot/cold routine was confusing as fuck. I mean, really. I called her out on it the third day after she spent the night at my place as I was driving her back to her apartment. She said that she was processing her feelings. I told her that this processing is understandable, but she really needed to not be so harsh at work. She bit her lip and nodded minutely.

Another thing bothered me about Bella. She NEVER apologized. Ever. I've never heard her say 'I'm sorry' to me or to anyone else. I decided to hold on to that little nugget for awhile. I don't understand why.

I was working one day at Dreamstyle when Bella plopped down next to me. "You're almost done with your apprenticeship, Whip," Bella said. "I'm thinking that you will be good to go in a week or so. I've submitted your paperwork to the state and you just need to take a safety exam when I get the notification."

"Sweet," I smiled.

"We should celebrate, Whip," Alice chirped.

"God, you just appear out of nowhere, Midget," I laughed.

"I know. I'm like Tinkerbelle," she said as she danced over to where Bella and I were sitting, settling on my lap. She put her head on my shoulder and jutted her lower lip out. _God, she wants something._"Edward, can you do another show for me? It's my new fall line? My clients love your look. I'll double your pay. Please?" _Bingo!_

"Only because you've said please," I replied. _You're such a sucker for Alice, Cullen!_"That and I want to get a better tattoo gun."

"Don't worry about that," Bella said. "It's tradition here at Dreamstyle that your mentor and boss get you a new gun upon completion of your apprenticeship. We've got something really nice for you picked out."

"Oh."

"I know what you can use the money from the show for," Alice said as she bounced on her toes. "A new couch!"

"I agree," Bella said as she wrinkled her nose. "Did you know it smells like cat piss?"

"Fuck, yes!" I grumbled. "Beggars can't be choosers when it comes to secondhand furniture."

"Well, the show is in a week. Can I borrow Edward for a fitting now?" Alice asked.

"Yep. Have fun, Whipping Boy," Bella said as she ruffled my hair. "Get him a haircut, Alice. He's looking like Shaggy from Scooby Doo."

"Oh, he's getting a makeover," Alice said as she grabbed my hand.

"Nooooooooooooooooo!" I wailed as Alice dragged me out of the shop. She tugged me to the salon next to her store and plopped me down in a chair. She rattled off some instructions to the stylist who nodded thoughtfully. The stylist, a woman named Traci, washed my hair and began attacking my head with a razor. She prattled on how my hair was so thick and filled with lush natural highlights. _What the fuck? I don't speak 'stylist.'_She finished her haircut and put some shit in my hair, tousling with her fingers. Traci called Alice who looked at me with a critical eye.

"He's perfect. What do I owe you?" Alice asked.

"On the house, if you book me and my girlfriend for your show," Traci answered.

"Done," Alice said as she shook Traci's hand. "I'll call you with the times and location after I'm done with his fitting."

"Fabulous," Traci grinned. She handed Alice a card. Alice, again, tugged on my hand to her shop. She led me in the back to the dressing room, pushing me into it. Inside was five outfits with shoes and socks to match. Like our previous encounter, I tried on the clothes and Alice made adjustments. She was more enthusiastic with the fitting this time because of my change in my body. I had gotten to back to my pre-rehab physique. The clothes didn't hang off my tall frame. I was nearly done with my fitting when my phone beeped from my jeans in the dressing room.

_Has Alice driven you crazy yet? – Bella_

_It's shocking how someone so small can be so incredibly annoying – Edward_

_But you love her. LOL – Bella_

_Like a sister. An annoying, hyper, crazy younger sister – Edward_

_When are you done? – Bella_

_I should be back at Dreamstyle in fifteen minutes or so… - Edward_

_Cool. – Bella_

"Okay, Alice," I said as I came out in my regular clothes. "What time is this shindig? Where is it?"

"At the Fairmount in Seattle," Alice said. "Be there on Saturday at ten in the morning. Freshly washed and everything."

"Are you saying I smell, Alice?"I snorted.

"You smell like an ashtray, Edward. Quit smoking," she said with a sigh.

"I'll work on that, Alice. I'm heading back to Dreamstyle," I said. Alice ran up to me and threw her arms around my neck. "Thanks."

"No problem, Whip. I'll call you if anything changes. And NEXT Saturday is you 'I've-Finished-My-Apprenticeship' Party."

I gave her a sarcastic thumbs up which earned me a smack in the stomach. _Ouch!_ When I got back to Dreamstyle. I had a few walk in appointments. Angela and Rose made commentary about my hair and the dashing new haircut I got. I had to admit, I really liked it. It was styled and cut to make it look like I just ran my fingers through it in casual disarray. I was closing out the shop when I went to the dumpsters. Bella was smoking a cigarette in the back. "Hey," I said. "I haven't seen you since I got back from being Alice's Ken doll."

"I had to pick up my truck with Emmett," Bella replied, nodding to her red truck. "We also picked up your 'graduation' present."

"Ah," I said as I lit my own cigarette. "Bella, I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner? You know, a proper date?"

"Like you pick me up in dressy clothes and we go to some fancy restaurant and make small talk?" Bella blanched.

"Um, yeah," I said nervously. "I'm not talking about a five star restaurant, but something other than Pepper's or Mr. Foo's."

"Don't knock the Foo," Bella said as she elbowed my ribs. "Admit it, you liked their Mu Gu Gai Pan."

"It was quite good," I offered. "However, seriously. Will you go out to dinner with me?"

Bella toyed with her lip ring, chewing on her bottom lip. She took a long pull from her cigarette and looked at me. She searched my face and my eyes. Her brow furrowed. "When?"

"How about after the fashion show gig that I am doing for Alice on Saturday?" I suggested. "I'll pick you up after I'm done. I'll be all gussied up from that."

"Oh, Whipping Boy all gussied up," she said dryly. She laughed and leaned in toward me. I bent down about to capture her lips with mine. However, we were interrupted by a loud motorcycle. Whoever it was flew down the alley behind Dreamstyle. I pulled Bella behind me, caging her against the wall of the shop. Bella hissed. The motorcycle was gone and I glared down the alley. Bella's hands were wrapped around my biceps. She was panting irregularly. Her eyes wide with fright.

"Bella?" I whispered, caressing her cheeks.

"Do you know who that was?"

"Not definitively," I replied as I gathered her into an embrace. She didn't return it. She stood woodenly in my arms. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Not really."

"What's going on?" I asked as I laid my cheek on her head. "Talk to me, Bella. You say that you trust me. But we never really _talk_. You've shared some scary shit with me, but not much else. Something's bothering you and it's more than what's growing between us."

"I think James is stalking me," Bella said as she buried face into my t-shirt. "That motorcycle is always at my apartment. Going around the block all hours of the night. Alice doesn't even stay with me anymore. She's been staying with Jasper."

"Bella, you can't stay there alone," I said. "Let's swing by your place and we'll pick up a bag of clothes. You can stay with me."

"Edward, you already know that I'm an insomniac. You have no rooms in your apartment. If I can't sleep, I roam. You won't get a lick of sleep," Bella said as she bit her lip, a warm blush rising over her skin.

"You didn't have a hard time last you inadvertently spent the night," I smirked.

"Um…"

"Admit, I'm right," I said, arching my brow.

"No because that was a fluke. HIGHLY unlikely that it will happen again," Bella said as she put her head on my chest, right above my heart. "But, I will stay with you. Only if you stay in the bed with me." She said the last statement so quietly and so pleadingly. She sounded like a lost little girl. I held her tightly, nodding emphatically. "Okay, I'll get some clothes and I'll meet you at your apartment. In case you need to pick up dirty underwear off the floor."

"Oh, please," I laughed. I rolled my eyes and removed my arms from her waist. Bella giggled and walked to her truck. I waited until she pulled out before I got into my car. I started it and drove to my apartment, getting some pizza on my way home. Thankfully my apartment was pretty clean. I may be a single guy who lives in a shithole apartment, but I'm not a slob. My mother, Esme, instilled a 'pride-of-place' feeling in me when I was really young. She was an interior designer and our house always was spotless. Even though I had second hand furniture, Alice did help me find things that worked well together. The only piece that didn't work was obviously the cat piss couch. Hopefully, that'll be replaced after my paycheck from Alice's show.

I was lighting some candles that I picked up from Target when I heard a timid knock on my door. I went to open it and found a very nervous Bella standing on the other side. Slung over her shoulder was her satchel from work and a small duffle. I ushered her in, taking her heavy bags from her small frame. "I got some pizza. I didn't know what you liked, so I got plain cheese and sausage and green pepper. My personal favorite."

"Both sound good," Bella murmured. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. I gave her a plate and she took a few slices of the sausage pizza. She went to my fridge and got something to drink. "You have beer?"

"I won't drink it, but if you are going to be coming here, I may as well get some. I hope you don't mind my choice," I shrugged.

"I love Blue Moon," she said as she took out a bottle. Using a church key on her key chain, she opened her beer. She held out water and diet coke for me. I pointed to the diet coke. She placed the can next to me and shuffled to the couch. Bella wrinkled her nose and sat down on the floor. I chuckled from the kitchen as I made my plate. _That couch really needed to go._

I carried my dinner and turned on my television. We watched some bad comedies on the TV, eating our pizza in silence. After we ate our pizza, Bella scooted closer and put her head on my shoulder. I leaned back against the couch, stretching my long legs in front of me. Bella put her head on my lap. I idly ran my fingers through her highlighted hair. "Edward?" Bella whispered.

"Hmmm…?" I muttered intelligently.

"Have you ever been in love?" she asked, looking up at me.

"Honestly? No," I answered. _Well, Bella, I think I'm falling in love with you. However, I can barely take care of myself right now, let alone another person. Ah, fuck it. I love you._ "How about you?"

"No," she answered coldly. "I've never felt anything loving in my life."

"Not even when you held Paul?"

"I didn't. He was passed to his adoptive parents after he was ripped from my body. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to . The way he was conceived was too much," Bella sniffled.

"Do you love Alice?"

"Yes, but that's different. I'm talking about your heart is about to beat out of your chest love," Bella said as she sat up. "You've never felt that?" I shook my head no, not trusting my voice. I wanted to proclaim my undying devotion to her. However, based on our previous encounters, she'd bolt. "Can I say something without freaking you out?"

"Bella, you've said TONS. All of which have caused me to freak out. I just hide it well," I said with a sardonic smirk.

Bella slapped my thigh, quirking her eyebrow. "Shut it, ass," she said.

"Okay, okay. What were you going to say?"

"I feel safe with you," Bella replied. Her cinnamon eyes dropped and she picked at her dark nail polish. "You've done things with me. For me. That no one ever has. You may be an asshole…"

"Bella, I am an asshole," I snorted.

"But you're really not. Did your parents love you?" Bella asked.

"At one time, probably. However, when I disappointed them, their love stopped," I sighed.

"I doubt that. You know what love is. How to do it. How to achieve it. How it feels. Your protective nature and kindness demonstrate that you know. In my 26 years on this earth, you've demonstrated and shown me how love. How to be loved," Bella said, tears falling down her pink cheeks. "I'm not saying I'm in love with you. But, I strongly like you."

I was flummoxed. Floored. Shocked. I stared at Bella, blinking my eyes at her in complete awe. I'm certain my mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish.

"Edward Cullen. Speechless," she teased. She picked up my hand, lacing her fingers through it. Like always, the energy flowed between us. "Do you feel that?" I nodded. "Me too. When I'm with you, I need it. When I'm not, I crave it. I have never felt this way about anyone. Emmett was my longest 'relationship' and we were just fuck buddies."

"Is that what you want with me? A relationship?" I asked, my voice sounding much higher than usual.

"If you're willing," Bella said, her blush flashing to a bright crimson. "You don't have to call me your 'girlfriend' or anything but just being with you is nice. Perfect. Safe. And you're not an asshole."

"Okay, I'm jerk. Asshole is a little harsh," I acquiesced. Bella laughed heartily and straddled my waist. She took my face into her delicate hands. Her cinnamon eyes searched mine. She grinned and leaned forward. Her soft lips met my mouth and they danced languidly together. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to my chest. Her warmth was placed over my growing cock and I bit back a groan. Bella's tongue traced my lower lip and begged for entrance. I opened my mouth and her warm tongue slid between my lips. It felt like velvet and she tasted like pizza, beer and something so sweet that it could only be Bella. Her hands moved from my face to my newly shorn hair. Her fingertips massaged my scalp and I moaned quietly.

"You like that?" Bella cooed against my mouth. I nodded and removed my lips from her mouth. I gently nibbled along her jaw to the soft spot behind her neck. I licked and nipped at her earlobe. It was Bella's turn to moan. "God, you are amazing at this." I smiled and bit down more forcefully on her earlobe. Bella pulled away and stared at me. I leaned in for a chaste kiss. She gave it to me. I tried to deepen it. "Edward," she mumbled against my mouth.

"Yes," I said as I kissed her neck. _God she smells so good._

"Can we go slowly? I mean…" she breathed.

"The right way. Dates, small talk, flowers, bad movies, the whole shebang," I said against her soft hair. "Is that what you're talking about?"

"It's like you can read my mind," she said as she caressed my cheeks. "I've never had a boyfriend or anything like it…I don't want to jump into something and get hurt."

"You're in control," I said. "You set the limits. Is that okay?"

"Perfect," she replied, giving me huge, genuine smile.

"So, not to sound like we're in high school or anything, but am I your boyfriend?" I smirked crookedly.

"Yes," Bella giggled.

"Now, you can't treat me like shit at the shop," I snorted.

"I won't. I promise," she said, holding up her right hand. "Scouts honor. But we probably should keep this under wraps for awhile. I don't want to deal with Emmett and his mouth."

"Ugh, me neither," I replied, scrunching my nose. "He's such a nosetta."

"What the hell's a nosetta?" Bella giggled.

"Busy body. Nosy. A pain in the ass," I said wryly. Bella nodded and kissed my lips sweetly. She got up from my lap. _Aw, don't go! I liked you there._

"Where's the bathroom? I want to change," she said. I pointed to the door and she went to get her bag. I got up and cleaned up our dinner. I turned off the television and put on a pair of shorts and t-shirt. I picked up my guitar. I sat on the bed and played some random notes, humming quietly. Bella came out and was wearing a black camisole and a pair of gray Capri sleep pants. I could see that she was not wearing a bra and she, too, had her nipples pierced. I licked my lips subconsciously. "Are you staring my at my tits?"

"No," I said innocently. I batted my eyelashes.

"Perv," she giggled. "Are you surprised that their pierced?"

"No. Mine are," I said.

"I know you. You told me at our last sleepover. Can I see?" Bella asked, wiggling her brows. I huffed and put the guitar on the bed. I took of my shirt and tossed it on my floor. Bella's mouth fell slightly._Yeah, I'm hot. I know._Her fingers danced along my ink and lightly flicked my nipples. "You have some beautiful tattoos, Edward. Tell me why you got them."

I sat up and turned to her. "The one on my neck is my grandfather's family crest. Edward Masen. My mom's father. He was the only one who truly supported my music. He paid for my guitar and piano lessons when my parents refused. The lion on my back is a representation of my father's crest. I wanted something that represented them, but in a different fashion. So Leo here is my rebellion against them. He was my first tattoo."

"Does the tail snake around?" Bella asked as she traced 'Leo's' tail. I turned and showed her where it ended: over my right pec, above my heart. "What about your arms?"

"No real meaning there. Just symbols that I liked," I shrugged. "Mostly music symbols and tribal symbols."

Bella ran her hands up and down my arms. "You're beautiful," she whispered as she stared at me like I was dinner.

"That would be you," I said honestly, caressing her cheek. "I'm alright."

"Oh, please, Edward. Alice is uber picky when it comes to her models. You have a body like Adonis and the perfect chiseled features. You are fucking gorgeous," Bella snorted.

"Okay," I said with a look of disbelief gracing my features. "You should have seen six months ago. I was a hot mess. Skinny, gaunt, unhealthy."

"Well, you've filled out," Bella teased as she gripped my bicep. I flexed for her, making a face. She laughed and leaned forward. Her soft lips caressed mine. "You are a goof."

"Eh, I try," I shrugged. I got up to get my shirt.

"No, leave it off. My wheels are turning," Bella said. She hopped off the bed and grabbed some tracing paper from her satchel. "Turn on your side." I did. Apparently it wasn't the side she wanted. Bella rolled me and traced a part of bare skin on my ribs. She grabbed her sketch book and began working furiously.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I looked over her shoulder.

She pushed my face away. "It's a surprise. Go to sleep, Cullen," she said.

"Oh, okay. Like I'll be able to do that with my beautiful girlfriend sketching like a madwoman next to me," I said.

"Hmmm," Bella said thoughtfully as she stopped sketching. "Girlfriend. I really like that."

"You forgot the most important part. Beautiful girlfriend," I smirked. Bella rolled her eyes and pushed me against the pillows. I put my guitar back into the case and watched her as she worked. As she sketched, her brows furrowed adorably. Her lips were pursed like she was waiting for a kiss. My eyelids drooped and I felt my brain begin to shut down. The last thing I remembered was a sweet kiss on my lips before I fell into a deep slumber.

xx EC: AWIP xx

I woke up the next morning. Bella was curled up next to me, holding onto my waist tightly. She was mumbling incoherently. I looked down at her. Her face was relaxed and serene. I noticed that she had laid her head right above my heart. I held her to me and I never felt more complete. I grinned at her admission last night. It's not 'love' but she strongly liked me. She said that I knew how to love. In reality, I knew I did. I just shut off that part of my brain and my heart to survive. But something about Bella Swan caused the floodgates to open and I couldn't wait to shout it from the rooftops.

"Edward…" Bella mumbled. "Beautiful…smart…love."

I shot my eyes down to Bella. Her eyes were still closed and she was still sleeping. I whispered, "Love you, too." I grinned and extricated myself from her grasp. I went into my closet and grabbed my clothes for the day. I walked to the bathroom and quickly hosed myself off. I wrapped a towel around my waist and brushed my teeth. I also shaved my stubble. I was nearly done when Bella knocked on the door. I opened it up and she looked at me, licking her lips. "Like what you see?" I teased.

"Hmm, very much," she said. "Are you almost done?"

"Yes. Actually, it's all yours," I said as I got out. Bella blushed and kissed my cheek. I pouted and captured her chin. I kissed her soft pouty lips. She pulled away and tweaked my nipple. "Hey!" I definitely liked this playful version of Bella. She needs to come out more often.

I dressed quickly and pulled out some breakfast food. I had only some cereal and some Pop Tarts. I put them on the counter and I sipped some water. Bella came out in a pair of skinny jeans and black tank top. Underneath, I could see a red bra. Bella was wearing some makeup and her hair was curling around her face. "If you want something to eat, it's not much but…"

"Oh, Pop Tarts. Alice refuses to let us keep them in the apartment," Bella said as she skipped to the kitchen. She picked up the Cinnamon Brown Sugar variety and got a diet coke from the fridge. "Thank you," she said with her mouthful of Pop Tart.

"You're welcome," I sniggered. We finished our breakfast and headed down to our cars. Bella followed me to the shop. I unlocked the shop, punching in the alarm code. We went about opening it up. I turned on the computer and checked messages. Bella got the mail.

"Hey, Edward, you're taking your safety test today," Bella said as she read a letter. "Here's the address."

"Okay," I said as I took the letter from her. It was in downtown Seattle in one of the office buildings. I checked the time that I needed to be there. "I probably should go now."

"Yeah. I'll call Emmett. He can finish opening with me," Bella said. "Good luck, Whip." Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me sweetly. "You'll kick ass."

"I know. I had a good teacher," I answered against her mouth.

"Damn straight, Cullen," she said. Bella bit down on my lower lip and shoved me away. "Go do me proud."

"Yes ma'am," I said with a mock salute as I ran to get my car keys. I drove to the testing site. I filled out some paperwork and handed them the letter. I was led to a computer terminal. I typed in some information and then began my test. An hour and half later, I was done and had received my license as a certified tattoo artist. I got out to my car and picked up my phone. I dialed Dreamstyle.

"Dreamstyle Ink. This is Bella."

"I passed. With flying colors," I smiled.

"Edward? That's awesome! As a congratulations, I'm going to ink you," Bella said. "I finished the sketch that I created for you last night. You're getting it as soon as you get back to Dreamstyle."

"Sweet," I said. "I'll be back in about half hour."

I drove back to Dreamstyle Ink and parked next to Emmett's huge Jeep. I walked in the rear of the shop. It was quiet and dark. I furrowed my brow. I walked into the main shop and the lights turned on. "CONGRATULATIONS!" everyone yelled. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Holy shit," I said as I leaned against the wall.

Alice ran up to me and hopped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. "Congratulations, Whip! We're proud of you!"

"Thanks, Midget," I snorted as I kissed her cheek. She jumped out of my arms and I shook hands with Jasper and Emmett. Angela gave me a hug but kept it brief as Bella's glare was completely scary. Hell it scared me. Rose smacked my ass and kissed my cheek.

I turned to Bella. Her gaze was hard. So unlike the friendly, fun-loving look from this morning. "Okay, Whipping Boy. Strip."

"What?" I squeaked.

"I'm putting your tattoo on your ribs. So take off your shirt," she said as she grabbed my arm, dragging me to the station she already set up. "And no peaking."

I removed my button down shirt and lay down on the table. Bella ran her hand over my skin. She was checking if she needed to shave my ribs. She didn't. I only had a smattering of chest hair. Thank goodness. She was happy and put the stencil on my ribs. She slapped on her gloves and picked up her gun. I closed my eyes and let the burn of the tattoo fill my mind. I don't know how long I stayed on my side as Bella tattooed my skin. I vaguely recollect people coming to check out the new ink. However, I was in my zone. I didn't talk while I got tattooed. I had a hard time talking while I was tattooing. Part of me felt like it was too intimate to share some of these conversations in a busy shop.

"All done, Whip," Bella said as she wiped down my skin. I sat up and got my bearings. I got off the table and walked to the mirror. On my ribs was the most intricate tattoo I'd ever seen. And the most colorful. I'd only ever gotten black and gray tattoos. It fit my mood. However, this was exquisite. It was a guitar, but drawn abstractly. Musical symbols danced around it. On the guitar itself was the Dreamstyle Ink logo. The New Moon Designs logo was underneath the Dreamstyle logo. The soundhole of the guitar was an eye. It was green that faded to cinnamon brown. "Do you like it?" Bella whispered.

"It's amazing," I said reverently. "It's everything that's happened since I've worked here."

"It's a work in progress. I want to add more," Bella said as she gently touched the eye. "But we'll do that later. I hope you don't mind I used color. Since the rest of your tattoos are black and gray."

"No, I don't mind. I actually like it. A lot," I smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Bella smiled. "Let's get you taped up and you're done for the day." I walked back to the table and Bella taped my tattoo up. I pulled my shirt on, buttoning it up. "Do you have your license?"

I nodded and reached into my jacket. I pulled out the envelope that held my license. Bella removed it and put it into a frame. She hung the frame under hers and gave me a smile. "Now you're official. Welcome to the tattooing community, Mr. Cullen."

"Thank you, Ms. Swan. I feel like I should be wearing a cap and gown," I snorted.

"Whatever," Bella laughed. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye and thank you," I blushed. I drove home and decided to use the rest of my afternoon working on a piece of music that was floating around my head. I picked up some staff paper on my way home and sank into my cat piss couch. I noodled around on my guitar, plucking out a melody that seemed to fit what I wanted. I wanted to describe Bella in music. I spent most of the day and into the night creating her song. I made the decision that I was going to perform it at my party next Saturday. I would proclaim my love for Bella, not vocalized, but musically. I would add the words later. However, I wanted more than just the guitar. I picked up the phone and dialed the one person who might be able to help me.

"Hello?"

"Alice, I have a favor to ask of you. Do you know where I can get my hands on a piano for a few hours?" I asked.

"A piano? I didn't know you played," Alice said.

"Classically trained," I answered. "Anyhow, do you?"

"The Fairmount has one. I'll ask if you can come in before the fashion show to use it," Alice said. "Can I ask what this is for?"

"You can ask all you want. Doesn't mean I'm going to give you an answer," I teased.

"Ass."

"Yep. We've established this, Alice. Also, do you know if Pepper's has a piano?" I asked.

"It does. Why?"

"You'll find out at my party," I said.

"Got it, Cullen," Alice said. "I can't wait to see what you have going on in your head."

I chuckled and hung up. I put my guitar away and ate some leftover pizza, falling asleep on my cat piss couch.

xx EC: AWIP xx

The rest of the week flew by. Before I knew it, I was at the Fairmount Hotel in downtown Seattle. It was eight in the morning. Alice had arranged for me to play on the grand piano in their ballroom until ten in the morning. I only prayed that I got Bella's song written by then. I had jotted down some ideas on my staff paper with the help of my guitar. I took a deep breath and walked in. I was dressed conservatively for me. A pair of black khakis and a white shirt. I had removed my brow ring, but kept my earrings and tongue ring in. I went to the front desk. "Um, excuse me?"

A young woman looked at me and licked her lips. "Hi, welcome to the Fairmount Hotel. I'm Britney. Can I help you?"

"I'm here for the fashion show. However, Alice Brandon arranged with the manager that I get some time to work on the piano?" I said.

"Are you Edward Cullen?" Britney asked. I nodded. "Right this way." She led me to ballroom, sashaying her hips a little more than normal. I bit back a laugh at her antics. She was not even close to my type. She was tall, red headed and busty. Her blue eyes were the color of the bluest skies. Not my type at all. I like my women to be petite, athletic, brunette and have cinnamon colored eyes. "Here's the piano. The fashion show is taking place in the next ballroom over. When you're done, just go through those doors," Britney said as she laid a hand on my arm.

"Thanks," I said icily. She frowned and left the room. I shuddered and grabbed my brow ring from my pocket. I put it back in and sat down at the piano. I opened the lid and ran my hands over the keys, not playing them. Before I started writing, I began playing one of my favorite pieces growing up, _Clair de Lune_ by Claude Debussy. It's amazing how much you remember. It's like riding a bike. I closed my eyes and let the music flow through my body. _How I missed this. So much._I finished _Clair de Lune_ and picked up my staff paper. I pulled out a pencil and stuck it behind my ear. I played what I had written, making some changes.

The song I was writing for Bella was a lullaby. Something soft and sweet, but with a hard edge. Like her. I worked the notes, twisting my hands into lush chords. I was so wrapped up in my music, I didn't realize I had an audience. I was working on a particularly difficult passage. I couldn't get the rhythms or the notes right. I was on my fiftieth time of working it out when I heard applause. I turned, ready to scream at whoever it was to leave alone. If it was Britney, I would have thrown sharp objects at her. I saw it was Alice. She lithely walked over to me and sat down on the piano bench. "You're excellent, Edward," she said, her eyes wide. "Why didn't your parents see it?"

"Because they were pretentious assholes who only saw success as being a lawyer or a doctor," I shrugged. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking to see if everything is set up correctly. And to spy," she said with a smirk. "What was that you were working on?"

"A piece I'm writing," I answered. "This is the first time I've played the piano in ten years. It's nice. I forgot how much I loved it."

"You haven't played? In ten years?" Alice squeaked. "Holy mother fucking shit."

"Damn, Alice. Swear much?" I laughed.

"Shut it. I can't believe it…" she said as she looked at me, her eyes wide. She blinked a few times and then smiled. "Can you play for me what you were working on?"

"It's not ready," I hemmed.

"Would you like some suggestions? I'm not a musician, but it's always helpful to have an outside opinion," Alice said. "I always ask for suggestions on my designs. All of the clothes you're wearing were actually assisted by Bella. She has a keen eye for lines and what works and what doesn't. You can't tell by what she wears, but she's actually a good clothing designer."

"Doesn't surprise me. She's good at everything," I chuckled.

"Are you two fucking?"

"No. We want to take it slowly. We are dating, though," I said.

"Like you're her boyfriend and she's your girlfriend?" Alice asked, bouncing on the piano bench. I blushed and ducked my head. "Oh, EDWARD!" Alice shrieked as she threw her arms around my neck. "I'm so happy. You're exactly what she needs."

"What? A ex-druggie boyfriend? Someone who can barely care for themselves? A fuck up? A mistake?" I spat.

"You're none of those things," Alice said, smacking my head. "Play for me. Now."

I growled, low and deep. I think I even snarled my lip. Alice looked me in the eyes and mimicked my tone. I took a deep breath and narrowed my eyes as I turned to the piano. Alice sat back, knowing she'd won. _Evil midget._ I positioned my hands over the keys and began playing the song I had written for my Bella. I smiled slightly as I thought about that. _My Bella._My eyes fluttered shut and I played what I felt in my heart. What I felt in my soul for this woman. When I got to the troublesome spot, I changed it all around on the fly. I liked it. No, loved how it sounded. _Just need to remember about that when I write it down._I finished the song and lifted my hands. I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to look at Alice yet.

"You love her, don't you?" Alice asked, sniffling slightly.

"Yes," I answered, my eyes still closed. "First time I've felt like this. Ever."

"I think she loves you, too. But she won't admit it. She's afraid to," Alice said sagely. "I've never seen her this happy or carefree. She's always been sad. Bereft. Lost. She's found something in herself that you helped rekindle."

"I feel the same way," I said as I looked at Alice. Her face was covered with tears, but she was beaming radiantly. "I don't feel like a fuck up when I'm with her."

"Edward, you're not a fuck up. Your parents are morons for not seeing all of the talent you have," Alice said as she leaned her spiky haired head against my shoulder. "As much as I am enjoying this personal concert, you need to get ready for my fashion show."

"Oh, goody…" I said dryly. Alice tugged on my hand and I got up. I threw my stuff into my bag and walked to the backstage area. Traci sat me down and fixed my hair and put makeup on me. I was scowling the entire time. Men do _not_ wear makeup. But it was $2000. I needed a new damn couch. I got dressed in my first outfit. Alice gave us a pep talk and the show started. It took about an hour. When we were done, I had several people come up to me, offering me other jobs. I took their cards and shoved them into my pockets. Afterward, Alice handed me a garment bag full of clothes. She told me that the outfit on the top is the one I will be wearing tonight with my date with Bella. _Bossy much?_ I smiled and took my clothes home. I didn't shower again, but I did wash the nasty ass makeup off my face.

I sent Bella a quick text saying to be ready by seven. She replied with a smiley face. I grinned like an idiot and I finished getting ready. I took out my clothes and found a note pinned to my clothes. It was from Alice.

_Whipping Boy,_

_Enjoy the clothes. You are slowly getting a designer wardrobe, thanks to little ole me. Anyhoo…I wasn't sure if you had made reservations or anything. So, I took the liberty of making you and Bella reservations at La Traviata, an Italian restaurant near our apartment. Bella loves it there. Get her flowers. Roses, hydrangea and freesia are her favorites._

_Also, most importantly, be safe. Wrap it up, Cullen!_

_Love you,_

_Midget_

Taped to the note was three condoms. _Oh GOD!_ I blushed and ran my hands through my hair.

_Okay, how many women have you been with? 25? And you're blushing over three condoms?_ Perhaps you're blushing because you love this one. You want to make love to her. Not have sex. Not fuck. Make love. But, it's not happening tonight. She's in control of the physical aspect of our relationship.

I slipped the condoms into my wallet and put on some cologne. Another present from Alice. It smelled nice. Very clean. I dressed into the outfit that Alice gave me: a pair of distressed, black jeans, and a emerald green button up shirt. I put on my black leather jacket and put on my black motorcycle boots. I checked the time and saw that I had enough spare time to swing by a florist to get Bella some flowers. Very clichéd, I know. But I wanted to impress her. I hope I could. "You can do this, Cullen."

I sighed and picked up my car keys. I headed to my car and started it, driving to small florist. I got Bella a bouquet of flowers that included roses, hydrangeas and one random sunflower. It was different, but pretty. I drove around for a little bit before making my way to Alice and Bella's apartment. I pulled up to their place and parked my car. I nibbled on my fingernail as I stared up at their second floor apartment. "Don't be a fucking pussy, Cullen. It's Bella. She 'strongly likes you.' She can't hurt you," I mused. _Okay, she probably could. I'd be a eunuch faster than a blink of an eye if I hurt her. Thanks to the Midget, Jasper and Emmett._ I sighed and got out of my car, picking up the bouquet. I rang the buzzer to Bella's apartment. Alice rang me in and I slowly ascended the stairs to her apartment. I nervously knocked on their door. Alice opened it, bouncing on her toes.

I walked in and gave Alice a shy smile. She gave me an appraising look, making adjustments to my clothes. "Bella! Whipping Boy's here!" she bellowed.

"I'm coming. I'm having difficulties with these damn shoes you are making me wear," Bella yelled back. Alice grumbled and went back to Bella's bedroom. There was some hissing and mumbling from Bella's room. Alice dragged Bella out. Her short bobbed hair was spiked out with some hair shit. Her makeup was subtle, but smoky. Her body was in an amazing black dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. Her feet were encased in a pair of red 'Fuck-me' heels with the hottest strap across the ankle. My mouth watered at the sight of her. Not able to form words, I held out the bouquet of flowers to Bella. She giggled and took them, inhaling deeply. "Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome," I squeaked out. Bella strutted to her kitchen and put the bouquet into a vase. She licked her red lips and walked over to me. She put her arms around my neck and kissed me sweetly. I arched a brow, wrapping my arms around her slender waist. "You're breathtaking tonight."

"So are you," she grinned. "You smell really good."

"Aqua di Gio," I grinned.

"I may have to buy stock in that," Bella whispered as she leaned forward, inhaling my neck. "So, where are we going?"

"La Traviata," I said. "A little midget told me that it's one of your favorite restaurants."

"It is," Bella laughed as she danced away. She picked up her black leather jacket and tossed it over her shoulders. Alice passed her a red purse. Bella rolled her eyes and hugged Alice. "Don't wait up for me, Alice."

"I won't. Have fun," she said with a suggestive waggle of her brows.

"You have a one track mind, Alice," Bella laughed. "Yeesh!"

Bella laced her fingers with mine and we headed down to my car. I drove us the short distance to La Traviata. I parked the car and led Bella into the restaurant. I went up to the hostess station. I told her that I had a reservation. We were led to a booth in a secluded part of the restaurant. A waiter came and took our orders. Bella looked around the restaurant. I looked at Bella. "Staring is pretty rude, Edward," she teased as she tossed a breadstick at me.

"I'm not staring. I'm admiring. There's a distinct difference," I said as I ate the breadstick. "These are good."

"So, tell me about yourself, Edward. You know some about me. But I barely know anything about you besides you were in rehab for a nasty cocaine addiction."

"Well, I was born in Chicago to Carlisle and Esme Cullen. I was the apple of their eye. Only son of a prominent doctor and his interior designer wife. We lived there until I was in 8th grade. Carlisle was offered a chief of staff position at Virginia Mason Medical Center and he took it. We moved out to Seattle the summer before my 8th grade year. I hated to move. I loved my grandfather, my namesake. Edward Masen. We were so close. As I said before, he was the only one who supported my music. Anyhow, we stayed in Seattle until I was a sophomore in high school. Carlisle didn't like Virginia Mason and he went to be a chief of staff at a small hospital in Port Angeles. He found his niche there and we stayed there until I graduated high school. I was the Valedictorian of Port Angeles High School. I was offered a full ride scholarship to Dartmouth but refused it. I didn't want to go there to be a doctor, which was my father's dream. For me to follow in his footsteps. I just couldn't. So, I told them that I applied to Juilliard. I was accepted and had a full ride there. My father told me that if I wanted to go Juilliard, I'd have to do it on my own. But, I couldn't. Even with the full ride, my parents were cutting me off. My father was so disappointed when I told them that my dream was to be a musician. He screamed at me to leave. Not giving me anytime to pack my belongings. I left my parents' home with the clothes on my back, my car and money in my wallet. I tried to get the rest of my money out of my account, but discovered my accounts had been closed. My credit cards were canceled and I was alone. My wonderful parents disowned me. I haven't heard from them since. That was ten years ago."

"Where did you go when they kicked you out?" Bella asked as our dinners were delivered. She got the mushroom ravioli and I got lasagna.

"I went to Seattle. I performed on the streets on the guitar. When I couldn't play, I did caricatures. I did some odd jobs here and there. Worked at a coffee shop, book store, music store, art supply shop; you name it, I did it. However, at the music shop is where I was introduced to drugs. I quickly became hooked and was a dealer. That's how I made my money for a few years. Pot, E, cocaine, meth, whatever I could get my hands on, I sold it. By the grace of God, I didn't get caught. Anyhow, I was feeling really low. I had sold my entire supply of drugs and my guitar. I used the money to buy the really good shit. Cocaine. That was my downfall. I was feeling horribly about myself. I wanted the pain to stop, so I snorted myself into oblivion. And the rest is history," I shrugged.

"You've been clean ever since?" Bella asked as she pushed her plate away.

"Yep. It'll be one year drug free…What date is it?" I asked.

"April 29th," Bella answered.

"Today. Today is my one year anniversary," I smiled, feeling good about my accomplishment.

"Congratulations," Bella said as she held up her water glass. I clinked mine with hers and we sipped the water. "You have definitely had it hard, though."

"You're telling me," I sighed. "It was a huge wake up call. I was born into privilege. Everything was handed to me. Then it was ripped away."

"Don't you have any legal claim to your inheritance or anything?"

"I don't know. I had a trust in my name, but since I've been disowned, it's highly doubtful that I'll get a penny of it," I shrugged. We sat in silence, enjoying our meals. The waiter checked on us a few times, paying too much attention to my girlfriend. I hissed quietly each time he brushed up against Bella.

"Jealous much, Whip?" Bella teased.

"Sorry. He just looks at you like your something to eat. If anyone is going to eat you, it'll be me and it would not be appropriate for a restaurant," I said as I licked my lips.

"Nice," Bella blushed. "Is that something you like to do? Eat out a girl?"

"I like it all, Bella," I said seductively. "I do love it when a girl comes. The look of complete rapture on her face. That is the most beautiful thing in the world. Seeing you do it would be the most beautiful thing in the universe."

"Perhaps, we'll have to do that soon," Bella said as she pushed her plate away. "I'm so full."

"Me too."

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Why haven't you asked about Jacob?" Bella asked warily.

"If you're ready to tell me, you will," I answered simply.

"He's not really dead. He's dead in my mind. Trust me, every single day I dream up of new ways to torture him," Bella laughed humorlessly. "But he's still very much alive."

"How about your foster dad? Is he still alive?"

"No. I think he died a year or so ago. Complications of diabetes," Bella shrugged. "It wouldn't put it past Jake if he killed his own father."

"Sounds like a class act," I said, trying to keep my temper in check. "Is he local?"

"No. Jacob and his father were in Arizona. Phoenix, specifically. Once I aged out of the system, I packed my bags and drove here to Seattle. I found out I was pregnant on my birthday and that was my indicator that I needed to go. So I did," Bella said. "Every so often I Google Jacob. The last I'd heard about him was that he was in jail for attempted murder. He was so bad. So evil."

"Well, I'm thankful that you got away and you moved here," I said. I reached across the table and linked my fingers with hers. "That path led you to me."

"It did," Bella said as she squeezed my hand. The waiter returned and asked if we wanted dessert. We both declined. He frowned and carried out the check. I swiped it and placed some cash into the black folder. Bella wanted to chip in for her dinner. She knew my financial situation. But, I refused. My mom, even though she disowned me, still instilled a gentlemanly quality to me. No woman will pay for a damn thing if she goes out with me. "So, what's next?"

"There's this jazz combo at a club around the block that's playing. I'm not sure if you like that, but if you want to go?" I suggested.

"Sounds perfect." We got up from the booth. The waiter asked if he needed change. I said no. Bella and I walked to the club, Frankie's Blue Room. We left the car at La Traviata. As we walked, Bella twined her fingers with mine. We didn't talk. We just strolled to the jazz club. We got into the club. It looked like a 1920s speakeasy: deep cherry on the walls, dark wood and a hazy tone in the entire place. I led Bella to a small table in the corner. We sat and listed to the jazz combo. I loved it. Bella seemed a little bored, but she endured it. A few couples were dancing and I got this brilliant idea.

"Dance with me?" I asked.

"Excuse me?" Bella squeaked.

"Dance with me. Please?" I begged.

"Oh, I can't dance. I can barely walk," she said nervously. I shook my head and stood up, holding my hand out. "Edward…"

"It's all in the leading. Trust me," I said. Bella bit her lip and stood up. I pulled Bella into my arms and we moved to the slow beat of the jazz combo. Our eyes held each other's gaze. I leaned down and kissed Bella's lips softly. She moaned quietly and accepted my kiss. My hands rested on the top of her ass as her hands danced in my hair at the nape of my neck.

"Well, well, well…isn't this cozy?"

We broke apart and saw a sneering James. His eyes were filled with such hatred. His hands were in rigid claws, ready to strike. "What do you want, James?" I snarled.

"What I can't have," he laughed. "She fucked you yet?"

Bella bristled and turned to face him. "You are an asshole, James. Just because I wouldn't open my legs for you, you're bitter?"

"Most women would die for this," James said as he ran his hands over his pecs. "Am I that disgusting?"

"Yes," Bella snapped.

"Well, Edward is a fuck up and will do nothing but break your heart. He's a druggie. You know that? He was in rehab. He probably has HIV or something because of all the pussy he's been with to pay for his drug habit," James spat.

"I know about Edward's drug addiction. I know what he went through and I still care for him," Bella said as she laced her fingers with mine. "However, I DO NOT need to validate my relationship with him to you. So go find some random bitch and fuck her."

Bella whirled out of my arms and went back to our table. I glared at James as I left the dance floor. I picked up Bella's coat and slipped it over her arms. I threw down some money and we left. My eyes never left James' until we were out of the club. "Are you alright?" I asked as we got out into the brisk air.

"Just peachy," Bella said icily.

"You're not mad at me?" I asked.

"No. I'm just pissed that my first date was ruined by an asshat," Bella snarled.

"Wait…what?" I asked as we walked back to La Traviata. "Your first date?"

"I never had a guy kiss me until you. I never had a guy ask me out until you. You are getting all of my firsts. Well, except my virginity as we both know that's LONG gone," Bella said acidly. I stopped in my tracks. Bella looked at me and arched her brow. "Are you surprised?"

"Um, yeah," I said intelligently. "No one ever asked you out?"

"I was the freaky, scary girl in high school. Nobody talked to me. I also didn't want to be with boys in _that_ way because of Jacob. I eventually started screwing around just to forget my pain. You know? It was never about intimacy or cuddling. It was straight out fucking. All about getting off and that was it. No dates. No kissing. Nothing," Bella said.

"Well, I intend to wine and dine you, Bella. You deserve the moon and stars," I said fervently. "You deserve it all. I may not be able to give it to you, but I'm going damn well try."

"I believe you, Edward," she said softly. She put her arms around my waist and nestled against my chest. I held her tightly. "Take me home, please?"

"Of course, Bella," I said as I led us to my car. I drove us back to her apartment. Bella was quiet in the passenger seat. We got to her place and I parked the car. "We're here."

Bella smiled at me. It didn't quite reach her eyes. "I had a good time, Edward. Thank you."

"My pleasure. I'm sorry about the shitty ending of our date," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I hope I can take you out again and make it up to you."

"I'd like that," Bella said. "I'm going to go. I'm exhausted and emotionally spent."

I nodded. "Can I give you a kiss goodnight?" I asked.

"Definitely," Bella said as she leaned across the console. She placed a chaste kiss on my lips and pulled away. She took out her keys and got out of the car. She went into her apartment without looking at my car or back toward me. I was confused. I understand her issues with James. I understood her issues with Jacob. What I didn't get was why she was so cold to me when she left. I pretty much told her that I was willing to do anything. And that's what I got? _At least she kissed you, you ass._

Thank goodness for small favors.

**A/N: Okay, this chapter was beastly. I was going to include up to the prologue with this bad boy, but if I did, it would be like a million words. So, that'll be next chapter. Leading up to the prologue and its aftermath. Leave me love! xoxox**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a pair of glasses, some Diamonique jewelry (gotta love QVC) and a lot of scrapbooking stuff. **_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter 9: Edward's Graduation**

I sent Bella a text when I got home from our date.

_I had a great time, Bella. I hope it's the first of many dates together. – Edward_

She didn't respond. I sulked when I got back to my apartment and sat down on my cat piss couch. I was so confused. She kissed me, but wouldn't respond to my text. She was interested in me and my life, but turned that off when James approached her. I scrubbed my face with my hands deciding that I was giving myself a migraine thinking about this. I turned on the television and watched whatever was on the station it left on. Sportscenter or something. I don't even like sports. _What the fuck?_

I was pacing in my apartment when my phone rang. I sprinted for my jacket, nearly breaking my ankle tripping over my boots. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was Alice. "Hello?"

"What happened? Bella came up to the apartment and was bawling. Did you hurt her, Cullen?" Alice sneered.

"What? NO! I didn't do anything. I had a good time and up until the last part of our date, so did she," I yelled.

"Okay, you don't need to yell," Alice sighed. "What happened after dinner? I tried to get it out of Bella, but she was too busy bawling."

"We went to this club, Frankie's Blue Room and listened to this local jazz combo. We were dancing…"

"You got Bella to dance? And you survived?"

"Alice," I warned.

"What? She's notoriously clumsy," Alice snickered. "Go on."

"As I was saying, we were dancing and kissing. Then James came up to us. He gave her shit about not fucking him. He said that most women would die for him and he asked if he was disgusting. I personally think he's nasty. He then said that I was carrying diseases because of my drug habit. Bella then snapped at him about her not having to validate our relationship to him. We left after that. Now, why was she crying?"

"She felt dirty. It wasn't you, I don't think. I think James' comments got to her," Alice said quietly.

"Where is she now?"

"She's sleeping. She cried herself out," Alice said. "Come over, Edward. Wake up with her and she'll see that she's not dirty. She's worthy of love. Worth of something special."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," I said as I slipped on a pair of Chuck Taylors. I hung up the phone and grabbed my car keys and a t-shirt from my closet. I had to work tomorrow and I didn't want to show up in my clothes from tonight. I darted out to my car and drove to Alice and Bella's and breakneck speed. I buzzed up to their apartment and Alice ushered me in. I found the door open and Alice sitting on the couch, watching television. I closed the door and locked it. "Hi."

"That was faster than fifteen minutes, Whip," Alice giggled.

"Sue me, I was anxious," I said as I rolled my eyes. "Alice, I'm worried about Bella."

"Me, too, Edward. She's been through hell and back. She's been through therapy but it won't work. She refuses to let it work. She also refuses to take medication, so a psychiatrist is out. If she continues this way, she'll self destruct," Alice said sadly. "I don't want my best friend to do that. Either one of you. I see a lot of her behavior in you, too, Whip. But, you're better adjusted then Bella."

"Six months in a rehab facility does that to you. It's daily therapy and structure. When I was discharged, I was a hot mess. I stayed on Emmett's couch for two weeks. Not showering, not thinking, not living."

"You must have smelled, Edward," Alice said, wrinkling her nose.

"I was pretty rank. But, Emmett kicked my ass and I started working at Dreamstyle. I don't have the same structure when I was in the rehab facility, but knowing I have a job. A job that I'm good at. Waiting for me makes me feel like I have some sort of purpose. Should I still be in therapy? Probably. Can I afford it? Hell, no!"

"I don't know what to do for Bella. I don't want her to…"

"Me neither. You said it earlier. I love her," I whispered. "She means too much to me."

"Go to her, Edward. Make her not feel broken. Please?" Alice begged.

She put her tiny hands on mine and gave me the most pleading look. I nodded and kissed her forehead. I walked to Bella's bedroom and knocked lightly. She didn't respond but I opened the door anyway. Bella was still in her gorgeous dress. Her shoes were on the floor. I slipped off my jacket and shirt. I got into Bella's bed, spooning around her body protectively. I kissed her neck and held her tightly. "I can't lose you, Bella," I whispered into her ear.

"You won't, Whip," she said. I looked at her and she was still sleeping. "Love you."

My heart soared. She said she loved me. Granted she was sleeping, but still she felt it. I only hope that it was enough for us. For her. For me. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep, holding Bella, my _love_, in my arms.

xx EC: AWIP xx

My alarm went off from my jacket pocket. I groaned quietly and looked around the room. I was still in Bella's room, but minus one Bella. _Where the hell is she?_ I stretched and padded to her bathroom. She wasn't in there. I decided to pee. After I washed my hands, I walked out to the living room. My nose was assaulted with the scents of bacon, eggs and coffee. My stomach snarled and I ran my hands over my belly. _FOOD!_

I looked in the kitchen and saw Bella dishing up some breakfast. She was wearing my Dreamstyle shirt that I was going to wear today. I should be pissed, but seeing her in _my clothes_ really did something to my body. "Good morning," I said roughly.

Bella jumped and turned around. Her hand was over her heart. "Fuck, Whip, you gave me a heart attack," she said.

"Sorry if I scared you," I said. "Nice shirt."

"Thanks," she said as she cocked a hip. "Sexy, right?"

"Hmmm," I answered as I walked over to her. I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Extremely sexy. Seeing you in my clothes is causing my jeans to be tight."

"Do I turn you on, Edward?" Bella asked innocently.

"Very much so," I answered as I kissed her pouty lips. Bella responds by twisting her fingers into my hair. But she's too short. I bent down and picked her up. I placed her on the kitchen counter, wrapping her legs around my waist. We made out for a few more minutes. Just enough time for my cock to become very hard and very pissed at me for not getting him his release. The smell of bacon and eggs caused my stomach to growl loudly.

"Someone's hungry," Bella giggled against my mouth.

"For you, maybe," I answered as I kissed her long neck. And cue stomach growl again. "Okay, I AM hungry for real food, too."

"Breakfast is served," she said as she passed me a plate filled with a bacon/cheese omelet. "An Isabella Swan creation just for you, Edward."

"For me? You shouldn't have," I said as I began inhaling my breakfast. "Fis ish rearry good."

"Excuse me? What was that?" Bella laughed as she dug into her own plate.

I swallowed and smirked. "This is really good. Best meal I've had…"

"Since last night," she laughed.

"That was good, but this was the best HOME COOKED meal I've had," I said. "I can't cook for shit."

"But you provide me with Pop Tarts. You are my hero," Bella said as she put her plate on the counter next to her. She took my empty plate, placing it on top of hers. "I don't know what happened last night. I felt…so…"

"I know. Alice told me," I whispered as I caressed her back. "James is a tool."

"There is one thing I'm curious about. Did you sell your body to get drug money?" Bella asked. Her teeth nibbling her lip ring.

"I did. I won't lie. It was not one of my finest moments. However, I was always safe. Always used a condom and I never shot up drugs. I hate needles," I chuckled darkly.

"And yet you're a tattoo artist," Bella said, noting the irony.

"Let me rephrase. I hate needles in me," I said. "Bella, I made some decisions in my life that I'm not proud of. That I'm actually embarrassed of, but they are part of who I am. I'm a fuck up. But, I'm trying to be better."

"You are, Edward," she said as she caressed my jaw, lightly tracing my tattoos on my arms. "What time are you going into Dreamstyle?"

"I have to be there my noon. I should leave here around eleven since someone is wearing my shirt I was going to put on today," I said, arching my brow.

"Oops," she said innocently. Bella's fingers moved to my nipples and she looked up at me seductively. She leaned forward and wrapped her lips around my nipple. _Christ on a cracker, that feels good. _My jaw dropped and my jeans got tighter. Her tongue toyed with my nipple, twisting the metal that pierced through it. Her hands rubbed my back and stopped on my ass. She licked across my chest and turned her attention to the other nipple. I moaned and ran my fingers along her creamy thighs. She pressed sweet, chaste kisses up my torso, along my collarbones and she stopped at my neck. She sucked on the sensitive skin behind my ear, nibbling slightly. _That's going to leave a mark. _"Edward," she moaned against my skin.

"What, baby?" I asked, barely able to form words. I was so turned on right now. I wanted her. Needed her.

"Can we try something?" she said as she nibbled on my ear.

"Anything, Bella," I said as ran my fingers up her arms.

"Take me to my room," she said as she smirked at me. I picked her up easily. Bella wrapped her legs around my waist. "Hmmm, someone's excited."

"You could say that," I said as I carried her to her bedroom. Bella directed me to the bed. I put her down on the edge and she pulled my face to hers. Her lips crashed against mine and I moaned. Again. Our tongues danced together and she moved back on the bed. I crawled up with her. She wrapped her legs around me, forcing me to pin her with my body. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. I rolled us so I was on my back. _She's in control. _Bella straddled my waist and she ground her hips against my erection. Bella moved down my body, reaching for my button of my jeans. "Bella?"

"I want to taste you, Edward," she said as she looked up at me.

I ran my hand through my hair. I wanted her. I wanted all of her. Bella's mouth included, but I didn't want it in response to what James said. _She's in control, moron. If she wants to give you a blowjob then ACCEPT IT!_ "Only if I get to taste you, too," I offered.

"Hmm, possibly," Bella said as she popped the button to my jeans. She nibbled on my skin as she eased my jeans off my legs. My boner was tenting my boxer briefs and I was so turned on, but embarrassed at the same time. Bella licked her lips and arched her brow. With expert fingers she pulled down my boxer briefs and tossed them over her shoulder. Her tiny hand wrapped around my cock and I nearly blew my load right then. Bella chuckled at my reaction. "I really do turn you on."

"You have absolutely no idea. I'm like this all day when I'm near you," I said honestly.

"You walk around with this monster in your pants. And it's huge? How do you fit in your jeans?" she teased as she rubbed her lips over my cock. _Cannot form thoughts. Bella's lips are on my dick. She's so close._

"Umm…" I replied intelligently. Bella laughed as she licked the tip of my cock.

"Edward? Do you want me to lick your cock?" she cooed. "Suck it until you come?"

"Fuck," I groaned. "Yes."

Bella smirked and ran her tongue up and down my shaft. Her tongue ring feeling amazing against my skin. Bella wrapped her lips around my cock and slowly eased me into her hot mouth. My breath was coming in spurts. I was too wound up, too excited to see this. My brows furrowed and watched with rapt attention as Bella began bobbing her head on my cock. With her hands, she massaged my balls and I was amazed at her blowjob skills. Her tongue fluttered up my shaft and I finally know what Emmett was talking about. _God that feels so good._

With her other hand, she was pumping my dick and I was so close. My balls were tightening and the coil in my belly was close to springing. Bella's cinnamon eyes were looking up at me and never broke contact. I wanted to touch her, caress her cheeks, but didn't want to make her uncomfortable. "Shit, baby. That feels so amazing," I breathed. "I'm close, Bella."

Her teeth scraped along the underside of my dick and that was my undoing. I touched her cheek, trying to get her to release my cock so she wouldn't have to swallow my come. But she kept sucking on my dick. She swallowed all of my release and did I have a lot! _Rosie Palmer just ain't cutting it, Cullen. _

Bella kissed her way up my body and nuzzled my neck. "You like, Whip?" she purred. Not able to form thoughts, let alone sentences, I nodded as I captured her chin. I kissed her soft lips that were glistening with my release. _Fuck, that's so hot._ Bella flinched lightly when I kissed her, obviously surprised that I wanted to after she gave me the most amazing blow job EVER.

I gently traced my hands up her body, ghosting them over her breasts. She shivered and I didn't want to push too far. "Thank you, Bella," I whispered against her fragrant skin. I nipped on her earlobe. "You didn't have to do that."

Bella weaved her fingers through my hair and pulled me so I was looking into her deep cinnamon eyes. "I know. I wanted to," she said, a soft pink blush creeping over her cheeks.

"Can I return the favor?" _Please? Please? Please?_

"Umm..." Bella replied, biting her lip.

"It's okay, Bella. If you're not comfortable, I'm cool," I said as I caressed her cheeks.

"I want to, but I don't want you to think that I'm a slut or anything."

"If anyone is the slut in this relationship, it's me," I chuckled. "You reminded me on a daily basis for the first few months of my working at Dreamstyle that I was a manwhore. Admittedly I _was_."

"How many women were you with?" Bella whispered as she curled up next to me.

"25? I think?" I answered. "Never did I have any feelings for any of them."

"None of them?" Bella asked as she looked at me.

"Okay, one. The girl I gave my virginity to. She was my girlfriend all through my junior and senior year of high school. Her name was Kate. We were the golden children of Port Angeles High School. I thought I loved her and we had sex on prom night. Cliched, I know," I laughed.

"I would pay money to see you in a tux," Bella giggled.

"I was hot," I said, arching a brow. _SMACK!_ "Ouch! I was! You probably would laugh at how conservative I was in high school."

"Were you a nerd, Edward?" Bella asked.

"Class valedictorian. No glasses though. I was in the choir, musicals, speech team, art club, National Honor Society, French Honor Society, newspaper and yearbook. So yeah, I was a nerd."

"What the hell happened?"

"I had the rug pulled out from under me," I sighed. "I had a normal childhood. My adulthood is what was fucked up."

"My childhood was fucked up and I'm trying to be a normal adult," Bella said as she chuckled at the irony. "I really care about you, Edward. Probably more than I should. It's scary how much you dominate my thoughts."

"Me, too, baby," I whispered as I kissed her forehead. "I probably should head back to my place. I need to shower and get clothes. Since my beautiful girlfriend gave me good head and is wearing my shirt."

"I know, I rock," Bella said as she kissed my lips. "I'm off today. Do you want me to swing by after your shift? I'll cook you dinner."

"Cook? Dinner?" I asked, my eyes sparkling. "Yes and please!"

I got up and pulled my boxer briefs and jeans up my legs. Bella was watching me as I dressed. "You know your quite good looking, Cullen," Bella smirked.

"Thanks," I blushed. "It's genetic."

"Christ," Bella laughed as I pulled my button down shirt over my shoulders. I leaned down and kissed her sweetly. "Thank you for coming over and…everything."

"Thank you for breakfast and the delicious dinner you will make," I said as I bit down on her lower lip. "Later, beautiful." Bella squeaked and I strode out of her room, slipping on my shoes as I left. I drove home, taking a cursory shower. I floated into the shop and breezed through my day. Alice came in sometime in the afternoon and hugged me something fierce. Afterward, she danced out of the shop with a huge grin on her face. _Okay, Midget has lost her damn mind, but what else is new._

I drove home after my shift, sending Bella text. She said she was at the grocery store and would be over in an hour. I tidied up my apartment. A quiet knock came at my door and I opened it up. Alice, Emmett and Jasper were standing outside my door. "We come baring a gift!" Alice chirped. Emmett and Jasper groaned and heaved a new couch in to my apartment. "I saw it and it was on sale. It's yours, Whip!"

"Thanks?"

"You are helping us carry the cat piss couch down the damn stairs, Cullen. This thing was a fucking monster," Jasper said. "The things I do for my fiancé."

"You love me, Jazzy," Alice said as she kissed his cheek.

"I do, darling. But you are too much," Jasper said as he went to my fridge and pulled out a water bottle. "Come on, let's get this nasty thing out of here."

Emmett, Jasper and I took my couch and placed it by the dumpster. Emmett clapped my shoulder and Jasper groaned as he texted Alice. She skipped down like a woodland fairy and kissed my cheek. And with that, they were gone. I also had a new couch. A new leather couch. A new BLACK leather couch. Remind me to pay Alice. With a new tattoo.

Bella arrived a little bit later with fixings for chicken fajitas. She even brought her own cook wear. _I have pots and pans. They suck, but I have 'em._ She made our dinner and we talked for hours. It was so nice. I'd almost hazard to say it was perfect. She was curled up against my chest on my new leather couch and we just shared everything about each other. With each passing moment, I was falling more and more in love with her. Before I knew it, it was after two in the morning and Bella was asleep on my chest. I gently picked her up and carried her to the bed. I removed her shoes, but kept her clothes on. She nearly had a panic attack when I went to touch her breasts earlier today and I didn't want her to think that I was groping her in her sleep. I removed my t-shirt and jeans, sliding on a pair of shorts. I crawled into bed and spooned around Bella. She sighed and mumbled my name a few times. I closed my eyes and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

xx EC: AWIP xx

The rest of the week went by quickly. Bella and I fell into a comfortable routine. We even came out to Emmett about our relationship. He was thrilled about us and he actually told us that he and Rose were exclusive. However, most of the shop knew that. Angela walked in on them on my day off, fucking in his office. And she was loud.

And now, we're on Saturday. I am working on a tattoo on a large man who had an overabundance of back hair. And he wanted a back piece. _I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. That's just WRONG_. It was a cool tattoo but not on him. He wanted a Harley Davidson with a skeleton on it for his entire back. I was working on the outline today, but would finish up over the next few weeks. He wanted it in color. I wasn't comfortable with color, but I could do it when pushed. After several hours, I bid the hairy man goodbye until his next appointment in two weeks. I stood up and cracked my back. I was heading to Pepper's after that appointment so I could work on my piece for Bella. I was playing it for her. Essentially putting my heart on the line for her. I was nervous as fuck.

I clocked out and headed over to Alice's store. She walked with me to Pepper's and she gave me words of encouragement. 'You can do this, Whip. She loves you, too. She just needs a little push,' was always her response to my perseverating. The owner of Pepper's shows me to the piano, a rinky dink upright. However, it's in tune. I warmed up my fingers with some random scales and a few jazz tunes. Alice finally whined and begged me to play Bella's song. I rolled my eyes and began playing the lullaby. I had made a few changes since I last played for Alice. I made them on my guitar. I finished the song and looked at Alice. She squealed. It was so loud that dogs were howling.

Alice then dragged me back to her shop and dressed me. _That's right, folks. I'm Alice's life-sized Ken doll. _She reassured me again and we walked back to Pepper's around eight at night. The shop was closed early for my party. I was going to perform at nine. So that meant an hour of eating and drinking. Water. I was drinking water. Alice and I got into the bar and found all of our friends.

_Who would have thought that you would have friends? People who care about you? Who love you? _I almost teared about that admission. These people were my family. They cared about me. Alice was like my sister and mother hen. Emmett was my evil older brother who kept my ass in line. Jasper was the voice of reason. And Bella…Bella was my love. My reason for living, breathing, existing. I couldn't wait to tell her.

I walked over to her. My Bella and wrapped my arms around her waist. She jumped slightly. However, I kissed her cheek sweetly and she realized it was me. Bella relaxed in my arms, after she handed me a boneless Buffalo wing. We spend the time before my performance staying close to each other. Alice was constantly looking at us with a look of joy and happiness. Bella and I were together and we were happy. Every so often, Bella would turn and kiss my lips, eliciting a groan from me.

"Okay, folks!" Emmett bellowed. "We're here tonight to celebrate the newest member of our crazy, dysfunctional family. We're celebrating for THREE reasons. Reason number one: Edward Cullen has managed to stay clean and drug free for one whole year." Applause and cheers ring through the bar. I blush and duck my head behind Bella's head. "Reason number two: Edward Cullen and Bella Swan finally realized that they were indeed crazy for each other and finally pulled their heads out of their asses." Bella and I booed that one. "Finally, reason number three: Edward Cullen is the newest and most wanted member of Dreamstyle Ink as a full-fledged tattoo artist! Congratulations, Edward and I guess, Bella too."

"Fuck you, Emmett McCarty," Bella snarled as she laughed.

"Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt," Emmett laughed. Bella smacked Emmett in the stomach and pouted. I wrapped my arms around her waist and laid my head on her shoulder. Bella's fingers twined with mine and she kissed me sweetly. "Anyhow, Edward, we as a staff have something to give you. I'm certain filled you in our tradition so…" Emmett said as he reached behind the booth he was standing near. "Here's your new, state of the art tattoo gun and some high end ink. Welcome to our family and we love you, man." Emmett acted like he was wiping away a tear and he pulled me away from Bella, hugging me tightly. In my ear, he whispered, "I'm so proud of you, Edward. You turned your life around. You did good, kid."

"Thanks, Emmett," I said as I hugged him back.

"Speech!" Rose yelled from her perch on a bar stool.

"NO!" I respond. "I hated public speaking in high school, why in the hell would I start now?"

"Because you love us, Whipping Boy," Alice chirped from Jasper's lap.

"I have a better idea," I smirk as I look at the clock. I removed my jacket and headed up onto the stage. I sat down at the piano and blew out a breath. _You performed in front of thousands of people on the piano, Cullen. You can do this. COME ON!_ I placed my fingers on the keys, closing my eyes. "Bella," I whispered for me. "This is for you." I knew she couldn't hear me. I could barely hear me. I began playing the lullaby. My hands glided over the keys, moving of their own volition. With each note, each chord, each crescendo, each articulation, I expressed my love for Bella. My love for everything that she represented. I was nearly done with my piece when I heard a shuffle. I looked up and saw Bella bolt from the bar.

_Aw, hell. _

I finished the song and got up from the piano, not really paying attention to the applause that was filling the bar. I raced past Emmett who was trying to stop me. I followed Bella to the spot where we almost had our first kiss. She was crouched in a ball, sobbing against the wall. "Bella?"

"Leave me the fuck alone, Whipping Boy," she screamed.

"I won't," I said as saw red. _I thought we were past this bullshit. _"What the hell?"

Bella looked up at me and she shoved me against the wall. "I hate you, Cullen. You are such an asshole," she shouted as she hit me and clawed at my clothes. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I fucking love you, Bella," I screamed, tearing at my hair. "That song was you. YOU! Can't you see it? I love everything about you!"

"You can't! I'm not worthy of love. I can't love. I'm too damaged to love," she sobbed. "This was a mistake. A huge mistake. I need to get out of here."

"Why is it a mistake, Bella? Because you have the same feelings for me?" I sneered.

"I don't. I hate you."

"No, you don't. You've said it to me. Granted you were sleeping, but you said it. You are worthy of love. Bella, we've been through a massive shit storm in our lives, but when I'm with you, I don't feel like a fucking screw up. I need you. I need us. Don't throw that away," I pleaded as I reached for her hand.

She pulled it away and looked at me coldly. Her usually warm cinnamon eyes were void of all emotion. "I can't return what I don't feel." She turned on her heel and stomped back into the bar. I crouched down in the alley, feeling my own tears fall down my cheeks. _What I wouldn't give for a fix. _

I got up and wiped my eyes. I strode into the bar and to the bartender. "Jack Daniels," I said. "Leave the bottle."

He nodded and placed a glass and the bottle of Jack in front of me. I poured myself a huge shot and pounded it, feeling the liquid go down my throat. I poured myself another shot and felt a tiny hand on my forearm. "Edward, don't. Please?"

"What's the goddamned point, Alice? She fucking hates me. There's no point," I said as I reached for the Jack bottle again.

"She's scared, Edward."

"Like I'm not?" I fumed. "I'm fucking terrified. I've never been in love before. I want her. Only her. And she throws it in my face. Stupid bitch."

"Edward, don't give up on her. I'm begging you. Don't go down this path," Alice said as she wrapped her arms around my waist. "She loves you. She doesn't know how to express it."

"So she hits, screams and belittles," I seethe. "Great coping mechanism. Why aren't you trying to help her? She's your roommate."

"Emmett and Jasper are trying to talk her down," Alice said sadly. "But I doubt it'll happen. I've never seen her this upset."

"It was a goddamned song, Alice," I said as I downed another shot of Jack. Alice flagged down the bartender, shoving the bottle into his hands. "Why did she flip out over a song?"

"Because she can," Alice said as she hugged me.

"I don't know how to fix this," I whispered. "Or if it's fixable. I told her I loved her out in the alley. She then spat back that she hated me."

"But she doesn't."

"No. She talks in her sleep. When she does sleep. All of her mutterings were my name and 'I love you's.' Alice, I can't live without her," I said as I played with my now empty glass. "I'm going to go. I can't be here."

"Edward, promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"I promise," I whispered. Alice grabbed my face and looked into my eyes. Her own blue eyes filled with tears and she hugged me tightly. I held onto her tiny frame like a life raft. A few tears slipped past my own lashes but I wiped them away. I picked up my jacket and left.

I was walking back from the bar. I had a nice buzz going on. I love me some Jack Daniels. Tasty. However, drugs would have been preferred. _You remembered what happen with that, asshole._ Shut it, inner voice. I'm over you.

I had finally finished my apprenticeship as a tattoo artist with Bitchella, erm, Bella. God, she was incredibly hot but so crabby. _Maybe it's because she hold you accountable for you actions, Cullen. _Fuck you. We had all gone out to drink at Pepper's, a bar close to the tattoo parlor, Dreamstyle Ink.

I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I took a long draw of the cancer stick as I sauntered down the sidewalk. I was nearly back to Dreamstyle to pick up my car when I heard a scuffle. I shrugged it off and pulled out my car keys to my Volvo. It's a piece of crap, but it's mine. Hell, it was my home for sometime there.

"James! Stop it! Get your hands off me!" someone screamed. I heard a muffled thud and the tearing of fabric. _This is not good._ I walked toward the sounds, clenching my hands into fists, preparing myself for the inevitable fight. I heard a loud smack and snarling. I turned the corner and found James Pattinson, one of the former tattoo artists, pounding into a prone woman in the alley behind Dreamstyle.

"Hey, fucker. Leave her alone," I growled. James whirled around and he pulled up his pants, running down the opposite end of the alley. I took off after him but he had too much of head start. I whipped out my cell phone and ran back to the woman in the alley. I got closer and lightly brushed her hair from her face. _Bella. _I traced my fingers along the curve of her jaw and grimaced. Her cheek was sliced with a knife. Her nose was broken and she had a split lip.

Her shirt was in tatters and her breasts were exposed. I removed my leather jacket to cover her body. As I laid it on her, I noticed the damage done to her lower half of her body. She was torn to shreds. "Fuck."

"911, what's your emergency?" a female voice called.

"I need an ambulance," I said quietly, biting back vomit. _God, how can he do this to her? _"I'm located in the alley behind Dreamstyle Ink Tattoo Parlor."

"What's the nature of the emergency?"

"My friend. She's been raped," I said.

The phone fell from my hand and I bit back vomit. _Not her. God, not her. _I heard the sirens close by and ran out to the street. Two cop cars and an ambulance were flying down the street. I waved them down. The cop cars slammed on the brakes and I led them to Bella. One of the cops pushed me against the wall. "I didn't do it. Back off," I sneered. "I found her. The guy you're looking for is James Pattinson. He's the one who did this to her. He ran down the alley in that direction." I pointed toward the opposite end of the alley and several cops took off in that direction.

The cop released me and he looked into my eyes. He nodded minutely and I went back to Bella. By now, a crowd of people were gathered at the entrance of the alley. The EMTs were placing Bella onto a stretcher. "You coming, buddy?" one of the EMTs asked.

"Can I?" I replied. He nodded and we loaded Bella up into the ambulance. Alice looked at Bella and her eyes met mine. Her face was a picture of anguish and pain. She gave me a small smile. "Where are we going?"

"Virginia Mason Medical Center," the EMT replied. I yelled it out to Alice and she nodded. "She your girlfriend?"

"Something like that," I said as I picked up her hand. It was bruised and it appeared like her wrist was broken. The EMT removed my jacket and began assessing her injuries. Tears fell down my cheeks as I looked at the broken woman on the gurney. "Is she going to be alright?"

"I don't know, man. The doctors will have to check her out. I'm Embry, by the way. My partner driving this bus is Quil. We're going to get her there as soon as possible."

"Thanks, Embry," I sighed as I ran my shaking hand over her cheek. We pulled up to Virginia Mason. Embry and Quil unload Bella from the ambulance and we go into a trauma room. A nurse pushes me out of the way and I stare as they remove all of Bella's clothes, putting them into an evidence bag. As I stand there watching Bella get poked and prodded by the nurses and residents, I hear another voice.

Behind me is the voice I'd never thought I'd hear again. "Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen. Are you family?" he asked.

I turn around and see the piercing green eyes of my father.

**A/N – Dun, dun, dun…we're up to the prologue and a little past it. Leave me love! XOXO**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: some Nyquil, a Monet umbrella, and lots of empty boxes. **_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter 10: Living Hell**

_We pulled up to Virginia Mason. Embry and Quil unloaded Bella from the ambulance and we went into a trauma room. A nurse pushed me out of the way and I stares as they removed all of Bella's clothes, putting them into an evidence bag. As I stood there watching Bella get poked and prodded by the nurses and residents, I heard another voice. _

_Behind me is the voice I'd never thought I'd hear again. "Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen. Are you family?" he asked. _

_I turn around and see the piercing green eyes of my father. _

"I'm not family. I'm her boyfriend," I said coldly.

Carlisle blinked a few times, trying to process what he was seeing. His son who he threw out ten years ago. His son who he disowned. His son who's girlfriend was brutally raped and attacked. "If you're not family, you need to leave."

"She doesn't have family. I'm all she's got," I snapped.

"Just stay out of the way," Carlisle said curtly. He turned and began working on Bella. I stood off in the corner, nibbling on my fingernail.

Carlisle spoke in hushed tones to a nurse who looked at me. She grabbed something from the supply closet and approached me. "I need a DNA sample from you," she said.

"Why?"

"To rule you out as a suspect in her sexual assault," the nurse said in an impatient tone.

"We haven't been together like that," I said.

"Give her the damn sample, Edward," Carlisle spat as he sutured Bella's cheek. The nurse grabbed my chin and scraped the inside of my cheek. She glared at me as she put the swab in a plastic container. "You need to leave. I have perform a rape exam."

"I'm not going anywhere," I growled.

"Do I need to call security?" Carlisle hissed. I blew out a breath and left the trauma room, shooting daggers at my father as I left. I walked out to the waiting area and was met with Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie.

"How is she?" Alice asked solemnly.

"I don't know. Her face was cut up, her wrist is broken and he brutalized her," I said. I looked at the floor, my heart pounding in my chest. "He fucking ruined her." I fell to my knees and felt the tears fall down my cheeks. Alice crawled onto the ground and hugged me tightly. I sobbed against her shoulder, gripping her waist. My friends huddled around me and Alice, embracing and crying. I eventually wiped my tears away and stood up. I was feeling extraordinarily claustrophobic.

"Family for Bella Swan?" asked a young nurse.

"That's us," Alice chirped.

"If you could come with me into the conference room. Dr. Cullen would like to discuss Ms. Swan's injuries," she said with a frown. We all walked in a sad procession to the conference room. It was impersonal. Clean. Sterile. "Dr. Cullen will be with you in a little bit."

"Dr. Cullen?" Rose asked.

"Irony of all ironies, my father is Bella's doctor," I sneered as I curled up in a chair. Alice laced her fingers through mine and she sat on my lap, after she patted my legs down. Her spiky head rested on my shoulder and I let her comfort me. Jasper sat next to me and gave me a smile.

The door opened up and in walked my father. He was wearing a pair of green scrubs and his white doctor's coat. "Are you all here for Bella Swan?" he asked.

"Yes," Alice asked from my lap. "How is she?"

"Are you certain that she doesn't have any other family?" Carlisle asked.

"No, Dr. Cullen," I snarled. "She was placed in foster care when she was a teenager after her mom beat the shit out of her. She doesn't know her father."

"What about her foster parents?" Carlisle hedged.

"They're dead."

"Right. Okay," Carlisle said as he sat down next to Emmett who was giving him the McCarty death glare. Carlisle flinched at Emmett's gaze. "Bella was raped, quite brutally. Based off her injuries, it was not her first attack. Do any of you know her history?"

"Edward knows her the best," Alice responded.

"She was raped. Every day while in foster care," I sighed.

"Oh my," Carlisle said as he blanched. "The scarring in her body indicates those attacks were quite brutal as well. But, this one was the worst. In addition to traditional penetration, he used a sharp object. She is in surgery. We're trying to save her uterus. If we can't stop the bleeding, she'll need a hysterectomy."

"She's 26," I murmured. "What about children?"

"Not possible," Carlisle said. "Even if we are able to preserve her womb, the scarring is too great." Carlisle gave me a hard look. _Like anyone would want to have children with you, Edward_, he almost said with his eyes.

"And the other injuries?" Rose asked.

"Broken wrist, eight stitches on her cheek and several broken ribs," Carlisle sighed. "She's in surgery now. If you want to head up to the seventh floor, I'll inform the surgeon that you are on your way."

Alice stared at Carlisle. Her eyes narrowing. "Why are you an asshole, Dr. Cullen?" Alice asked bluntly.

"Alice!" I hiss.

"I see the hatred you have for your son. It's uncalled for. The woman he loves more than his own life is in surgery and you can't contain your own contempt," Alice said as she got up from my lap. Emmett nodded and growled.

"This is highly inappropriate," Carlisle said as stood up. Jasper went to the door and blocked it, effectively stopping Carlisle's exit.

"No, it's not," Jasper said, his voice filled with malice. "Explain your actions to my fiancée. Your son. Or we'll go to your boss."

Carlisle paled and shrank back from Jasper. Jasper, who is the most even-keeled man I've ever met. The friendliest, besides Emmett. He made my father panic. _I shouldn't be thrilled about this, but I am. Is that wrong?_ Emmett walked over to Carlisle and forced him into his chair. "Talk, Cullen."

"Um, I would like to speak to my son. Alone," Carlisle said nervously.

"I'm not your fucking son, asshole," I spat.

"I will answer your question. But only to _my son_. I don't want an audience," Carlisle said with more conviction in his voice.

"Alice stays," I said.

"Fine," Carlisle conceded. The rest of our group got up and left. Emmett whispered in my ear that they would rough him up for me if he didn't respond. I nodded and took a deep breath. I wanted to strangle Alice. Her heart was in the right place, but now was NOT the right time. Carlisle sat and stared at me for a time. Alice's fingers were laced with mine. "You look like shit, Edward."

"Being homeless does that to you," I said, my eyes narrowing.

"You're homeless?"

"Not anymore. I finally got enough money to get an apartment. Not that it matters to you. You kicked me out," I shrugged. "You look like shit, too."

"Being single does that to you," he muttered.

"Esme finally realized that you were fucking prick?" I asked.

"She kicked me out after I did the same to you," Carlisle said as he ran his hand through his graying blond hair. "She's still in Port Angeles. I'm here."

"Good for her about divorcing your pathetic ass."

"We're not divorced. Separated," Carlisle sighed.

"You never answered my question, Dr. Cullen. Why are you an asshole? Why do you hate Edward?" Alice sneered.

"He wasted his life," Carlisle answered.

"I'm 28! Not 108! Fuck, Carlisle! Is it so bad that I wanted to be a goddamned musician?"

"Why? Why do you want to be a musician?" Carlisle asked, his green eyes were tired.

"Because I'm fucking good at it. Not that you even cared. You never listened to me play. You never listened to me sing. You never cared. Grandfather cared more about my music than you EVER did. He supported me."

"This is more than Edward's job choice, Carlisle," Alice said. "Why do you hate Edward?"

"Because he had everything that he could ever want and he threw it away."

"NO! You took it away!" I screamed as I got into his face. I picked him up from the chair and shoved him against the door of the conference room. Carlisle's head hit the door frame. "When you threw me out of the house at the age of 18, you took it ALL away. The only thing that matters to me right now is the woman fighting for her life up in the operating room. I've fucked up my life. However, every decision I've made was in response to the actions you did to me ten years ago. You are a heartless prick who deserves this pain and loneliness that you imposed upon yourself. So, fuck you! I hate you and what you did to me. I hate that you never loved me despite my faults. I hate that you never fucking LOOKED for me after you disowned me. I hate you. All of you. Everything you stand for. If Bella dies, I'm holding YOU personally responsible."

With that, I shoved past him and stormed out of the conference room. I ran out of the ER and into the ambulance bay. _ I want a fix. I need a fix. Fuck! _ I kicked the closest garbage can and curled up on the ground. "Edward?" Jasper asked.

"Leave me alone, Jasper," I croaked.

"I can't do that, man. Alice made me promise that I'd find you and drag you into the hospital by your hair," Jasper chuckled as he sat down next to me. "That douche is really your father?"

"Unfortunately," I mumbled. "Of all of the ERs in the world, why? WHY his?"

"I'm a firm believer in that things happen for a reason. Not every reason is clear cut, but Bella's attack was destiny's ways of bringing you to your dad."

"Why would I want to be near him? He kicked me out and never looked for me," I grumbled.

"That sucks, Edward. I get that. But, we need to focus on Bella. You now know where your dad is and you can look for him when you're ready."

"Bella doesn't want me either," I murmured. "I'm too much of a fuck up."

"No, you're not. I've known Bella for as long as I've known Alice. In the eight years that I've known them both, you've gotten Bella to be more alive, share more about herself, act like a 26 year old woman and not a shell of a person," Jasper whispered. "What she did tonight was cruel and uncalled for. However, Bella never had someone love her. You said yourself that she was beat up by her mother before she went into foster care. She never knew her real dad. Her foster family exposed her to unspeakable things. Your relationship. Your LOVE is her first experience with it. She doesn't know how to respond."

"What if I've lost her because of this attack?" I said in a broken sob. "Jasper, she was…there are no words…it was so bad. So much blood. So much damage."

"We're her family. We support her. We love her. We do everything in our power to make it better for Bella," Jasper said as he put his arm around my shoulders. "We give her our strength."

"I don't know if I'm strong enough."

"Edward, you are stronger than all of us combined." I shot Jasper a look of disbelief. "No! Really. Listen, you've survived and flourished despite the less than ideal conditions you've been handed. Sure, you've hit a few snags."

"Jasper, I spent six months in rehab because I tried to snort my way into oblivion," I said.

"But you survived. You're better. I bet you're aching for a fix right now, but you're not acting on that." Jasper's phone beeped and he checked it. "New text. Bella's out of surgery and in recovery. Come on, let's head upstairs."

"I can't lose her, Jasper," I said as I captured his arm.

"You won't. It'll be a long road, but you'll make it. Alice sees you two happy and together," Jasper replied as he cocked his head.

"Is she some type of fortune teller?"

"No. She's Alice," Jasper laughed as he tugged me into the ER. We walked through the ER and to the elevators. We rode up to the seventh floor in silence. I nibbled on my fingernail as I tried to calm myself. My heart was stammering in my chest. My hands were clammy. Hell, I was sweating something fierce. We got off on the seventh floor and headed to the waiting area. Emmett was comforting Rose and Alice was pacing. Well, she was more like dancing with her little fairy walk. When Alice saw Jasper and me, she flew at us, launching her tiny body into my arms. Thank goodness she weighs less than a postage stamp or I would have been trampled.

"She's out of surgery," Alice said into my neck. "It's not good."

"Alice…" I said brokenly.

"They're going to allow you into her room. Since you're her boyfriend and all," Alice said as she gave me a knowing smile.

"After what happened tonight, I don't…"

"You're going, Edward," Alice snapped. "She's going to pissed and she'll want a sparring partner."

I glared at Alice, trying to not strangle her. She was already on my shit list because of the stunt she pulled with Carlisle. A nurse came out and she called for me. I blew out a breath and headed into the room that Bella was in. When I got into the room, the nurse informed me that I could stay the night. However, I had to stay on the recliner. I nodded woodenly and sat down next to Bella. Her cheek was swollen and purple. Her left eye was swollen shut and her normally pouty lips were caked with dried blood. Her hair, which was shiny normally, hung limply and had no sheen. Her right hand was encased in plaster. She looked so small. So broken. I pulled up the chair and picked up her left hand. "Bella, it's me. Edward," I whispered. I knew she couldn't hear me. She was probably sedated from her surgery, but I needed to talk to her. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry I hurt you by playing that song. I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you with James. I'm so sorry. I need you to come back to me. I love you. I want to be with you. Please?" I cried as tears fell down my cheeks. I never cried. And tonight I've broken down twice.

Bella's heart monitored fluttered and I looked up in a panic. Her eyes were still closed and her chest was still rising and falling steadily. I caressed her cheek and put my head down next to her arm. I watched her sleep until my own eyes began to droop. Despite my best efforts to stay awake, I lost the battle with Mr. Sandman and I fell into a fitful slumber.

xx EC: AWIP xx

I woke up early the next morning to a brusque nurse checking Bella's IVs. She snarled at me and left. I sat up, stretching my creaking bones. I checked my cell phone and saw that it was after eight. I looked at Bella and she was still asleep. Or rather, unconscious. Her bruises looked even scarier. I frowned as I laced my fingers through hers. "Morning, love," I rasped. "I miss you." I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. I heard a quiet knock and Alice poked her head in. "Hi, Midget."

"Hey, Edward," she said as she came in. She was carrying a bag. "I have a change of clothes for you and a toothbrush."

"Thanks," I said as I accepted the proffered provisions. "I'll change and I'll be right back."

"Any change?"

"No. She's been asleep since last night. The doctor hasn't been in and the nurse was not forthcoming with information. She only spoke in grunts," I said, cringing lightly. I darted into the bathroom, pulling off my clothes from yesterday. I quickly changed into the jeans and t-shirt that Alice brought for me and brushed my teeth. I looked up into the mirror and Carlisle was right about one thing. I did look like shit. Dark bags under my eyes and a drawn look to my face. _Worrying about the love of your life will do that to you, moron._

I heard another voice in the room, speaking with Alice. I assumed it was another nurse and I took my time to pee. After I washed my hands, I walked out and found Alice speaking with my mother. _Fuck my life. What is this? A family reunion?_

"Esme," I said coldly. "What are you doing here?"

"Edward," she said as she walked toward me. "You've grown up. So much."

"Answer the question."

"I got a cryptic phone call from your father late last night saying he saw you," Esme responded as she was wringing her hands nervously. "I needed to see you for myself. And to apologize."

"Too little too late, Esme," I said as I brushed past her to sit next to Bella.

"Edward, go talk to your mother," Alice hissed. "I'll stay with Bella. Please?" Alice's eyes pleaded with me and she jutted out her bottom lip. _Aw hell…not the sad puppy face. I'm such a sucker for the sad puppy face._ "Edward, go with your mom."

I nodded and Alice kissed my cheek. I turned to Esme and she gave me a crooked grin. I got my signature smirk from her. We rode down the elevator and walked to the cafeteria. "Do you want anything to eat, Edward? You look thin," Esme said.

"Coffee," I answered curtly. "I'll have some coffee." We walked through the line and we got our drinks. Before Esme could open her purse, I paid for our beverages and skulked over to a booth. "So, how's Port Angeles?" I asked

"Lonely," she said sadly.

"You and dad brought it upon yourselves," I said as I sipped my coffee.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," Esme said, her hazel eyes filling with tears. "It was your father's decision to…"

"Throw out his 18 year old son?"

"Yes," Esme said weakly. "I fought him on it, but he wouldn't budge."

"So, you went along with him throwing me out. Taking away everything," I spat. "Thanks, Esme. I feel the love."

"Edward, I never once stopped loving you. You are my son. My baby," she said with conviction. "I kissed your scraped knees, held you when you were sad and loved you with all of my heart."

"But were you there when I almost overdosed? Were you there when I was living out of my car? Were you there when I was nearly beaten within an inch of my life? No. Never once did you look for me," I seethed.

Esme shrank bank and tears fell down her cheeks. "I didn't know, Edward."

"You wouldn't have. You didn't look for me."

"I wanted to. I actually hired a private detective a year ago to try and find you. But his search proved to be fruitless," Esme said sadly.

"That's because I was in Portland. Receiving treatment for a cocaine addiction. After I overdosed, my friend Emmett put me into a rehab facility to get me clean. I was there for six months. Afterward, I started working at Emmett's tattoo shop, Dreamstyle Ink."

"What do you do?" Esme asked with obvious interest.

"I'm a tattoo artist. I just finished my apprenticeship. The woman in the hospital bed was my mentor and my girlfriend," I said as I finished my drink. "But, I'm not so sure."

"Sure about what, honey?" Esme asked as she grabbed my hand.

"Last night, before she was…"

"What?"

"Before she was raped, Bella and I got into this huge row. She hasn't had the easiest life. The past ten years of my life is a cakewalk compared to what she's had to endure," I chuckled darkly. "I pretty much declared my love for her and she threw it back at me. She said that she hated me. That she's not worthy of love. But she is. She's smart. She's funny. She's a pain in the ass, but I love her. I want to be a better man. For her."

"How did you tell her that you loved her?"

"I wrote a song for her. A lullaby but it had a rough edge. Just like my Bella. She's sweet and sensual but is a bit of a bad ass. So, I played my song and she couldn't even listen to it. She bolted and I ran after her. She told me that she hated me and my brilliant response was to proclaim my love. Romantic, right?"

"How long have you and Bella been together?" Esme asked.

"We've known each other for about six months. However, our relationship is only a month old," I replied. "If there is a relationship. I don't know…I'm so confused. I want everything for her. Everything for us, but the Fates have it out for us. It's one step forward and ten steps back."

"Edward, you obviously care for Bella. You need to be patient with her," Esme said.

"I don't really want to talk about this. You said that you had a private detective look for me. Why?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, Edward. But there isn't an easy way to say this. Grandfather Masen died last year," Esme said with a frown. "I wanted to find you for his funeral but we couldn't locate you. He loved you so much."

"Oh no," I cried as I buried my face in my hands. "What happened?"

"He was old, Edward. Nearly 90 and his body gave up. I also wanted to find you for another reason. Grandfather Masen's will. I was the executor but he left you everything. You were the only grandchild and he wanted you to have it all," Esme whispered. "I also took the liberty of placing the money from your trust into Grandfather's estate."

"What?"

"Edward, I'm trying to make amends," Esme said.

"By trying to buy my love?" I spat.

"What? NO! Edward, Carlisle and I have behaved atrociously. You are too important to us. To me. I love you, baby boy," Esme cried.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have thrown me out," I said, trying to maintain my composure. I couldn't lose it at the hospital. "You would have supported my decision. It's not like I was this huge moron who spent his entire teenaged years in juvie. I was a good kid. However, kicking me out turned me into a fuck up."

"I know, Edward. I want nothing more than to go back in time and change what happened ten years ago. I couldn't bear the thought of you being hurt or worse," Esme whimpered. "I blindly went along with Carlisle's radical idea of kicking you out. But when you left, part of me was missing. I shut down. After a few months, I kicked Carlisle out. Seeing him was a constant reminder of what he did to you. He moved back to Seattle and has been here ever since."

"Look, I appreciate the effort, Esme. But like I said before, too little too late," I said.

"Please don't give up on me, Edward. I never gave up on you. I prayed every night for you. That you would find happiness," Esme said. "I still love you. I would like to try and rebuild our relationship."

"I'll give you my phone number, but I'm not making any promises," I said as I took out my phone. Esme rattled off her number and I programmed it into my phone. I dialed her with my phone and her iPhone rang from her purse. "I probably should check on Bella."

"I hope she's okay," Esme said sadly.

"Me, too," I whispered.

"Can I…can I hug you, Edward?" Esme asked quietly. "I just need to see that my baby's alright. Feel that you are okay."

I was torn. I didn't know what I wanted. My mind was yelling at me to walk away. She abandoned me. Kicked me out. My heart was begging for comfort from his mother. I decided to follow my heart and accept the hug my mom was offering. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me close. She was a little taller than Bella and fit under my chin. Even though I was bigger than Esme, I felt protected by her embrace.

"I'm so glad that you are okay, Edward," Esme whispered. "Please call me. We need to get together with a lawyer about your inheritance."

"Give me time, Mom," I replied. "My life is a mess right now."

"I know. I love you," Esme said as she put her hands on my cheeks. "Call me."

I nodded and pulled away. "I'll give you a call when I get a chance. Let me take my time, please? You've waited ten years…"

"Not by choice, Edward," Esme said sadly. "But, I understand."

I threw away my coffee cup and left my mom in the cafeteria. I rode the elevator back up to the seventh floor and went into Bella's room. She was still asleep. Alice was sitting next to her, prattling on about some random movie. "Has she woken up?"

Alice looked at me and shook her head no. "She mumbled some, but never opened her eyes," Alice responded.

"What did she mumble?"

"Your name," Alice said with a huge grin. "She's thinking about you." As if her mind was attuned to our conversation, Bella stirred and she mumbled my name a few more times along with a few sorry's.

I sat down and clasped her hand in mine. "I'm here, Bella. Wake up for me, love," I whispered. I caressed her cheek and willed her eyes open. "Please baby." Bella's eyelids fluttered and she opened them slowly. "Bella?"

She flinched and looked around the room with frantic eyes. Her heart was pounding. "Where am I?" she croaked.

"Virginia Mason Medical Center," I said in a calm tone. "Please relax. You're safe. No one is going to hurt you."

"Why are you here, Edward?" she snapped.

"Because I can't leave," I answered honestly. "Please calm down." Bella tried to get up but fell back onto the bed crying out in agony. "What do you need?"

"I need you to leave," Bella said in a broken voice. "It was because of you…"

"Bella, stop it," Alice snarled. "Edward has been here all night. He did nothing wrong. If anything, he's done everything right. He's not Ja…"

"Don't say his name," Bella wailed.

"Ms. Swan?" a young doctor asked. She was petite and had short blonde hair. "I'm Dr. Jane Torino and I was your surgeon."

"Yeah, hi," Bella said as she curled up in the bed. "What happened to me?"

"What do you remember?"

"Sharp stabbing pain in my belly and it repeated over and over again," Bella said.

"Well, Ms. Swan, do you mind if I discuss your condition with your friends here?" Dr. Torino asked.

"No, it's fine. Alice is my roommate and Edward is an enigma," Bella sighed.

"Okay. Well, Ms. Swan, you sustained some serious injuries to your uterus. During your attack, you were penetrated with a knife and that's what caused the damage. We had to go in and repair the damage. Unfortunately, the damage was too bad and we had to perform a hysterectomy. I'm so sorry."

"I can't have kids?" Bella asked.

"No, I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter. I already had one. Gave him up for adoption. You want to know how he was conceived? Rape. I couldn't bear to look at him. So, one less thing to worry about," Bella said coldly. "When can I go home?"

"Um, probably a few days," Dr. Torino said, shocked at Bella's response. Alice and I were equally as shocked. "I'm sending someone from psychiatry to speak with you, Ms. Swan."

"Not necessary."

"No, I'm doing this. Your reaction is not normal. You need to speak to someone," Dr. Torino said forcefully. She turned on her heel and left the room. Alice followed her.

"Bella?"

"Why can't you just leave?" Bella groaned. "I've been raped and now I have another stalker?"

"I'm not a damn stalker. Until last night, I was your fucking boyfriend. I care about you, Bella. I'm so fucking worried. Your reaction is NOT normal."

"If you care about me, you'll leave."

"If that's what you want," I muttered.

"That's what I want."

"Fine," I snapped as I picked up the bag with my clothes and I left. I was halfway to the elevator when Alice ran up to me. "Don't Alice. She doesn't want me here. So I'm going to work."

"Edward, she doesn't know what she wants."

"I'm going to give her space and we'll see," I said. Alice let me go and I called a cab. I went back to my apartment, showering before I headed into Dreamstyle. I walked to the shop and dove into work. I needed something to keep my mind from Bella. From worrying about her. Caring about her.

But, I don't know if working stopped me from doing that. Being in the shop reminded me of her. Seeing her station, a picture of the two of us next to her seat. We were smiling at the camera. _Will we get that back?_ After her reaction today, it's doubtful.

**A/N: So, what do you think? Leave me love…please! xoxox**


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.

Things I own: Totino's pizza rolls, gray couches, and Avatar on BluRay

Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers

Chapter 11: Burning Fire

It had been a month since Bella's attack. She hasn't returned to the shop. She hasn't called me. But then again, I haven't called her either. I was giving her space. Alice would pop in every so often and give us an update on Bella's recovery. I usually left and would smoke. I couldn't stand knowing that she was so close and yet so far away. I fell into my asshole ways. I barely spoke. I barely ate. I barely survived. I went to work, tattooed and ordered supplies for Dreamstyle. But, I refused to be social. I refused to let myself feel anything. My heart was breaking. I felt incomplete. The only time I felt anything was when I thought about Bella. I felt resentment towards her for throwing me out. I felt anguish over the pain that she had to endure. And that was too often. I switched off the romantic part of my brain and turned into an asshole. Again.

I was closing the shop when Alice came in. She walked over to my station and sat down, smacking me upside the head. "What the hell, Alice?" I snapped as I rubbed my head.

"You are an asshole."

"As we've established," I snarled. "I have to close. Is there something you need?"

"You need to come by the apartment," Alice said.

"No."

"Why?" she whined.

"It's obvious that Bella doesn't want me there. She hasn't called me or anything," I shrugged. "Why should I open myself up for more pain? She already trampled on my heart. First on the night of the attack and again the following morning. I tell her that I love her and she throws me out."

"She didn't throw you out. You left," Alice said.

"Potato, potahto," I answered. "She didn't want me there."

"Edward, I'm sorry that Bella is making this difficult. But she's been through hell," Alice said. "The nightmares are horrific. She never sleeps anymore. She roams the apartment and she's a ghost. It's really sad."

"Therapy works wonders," I said dryly. "Try that."

"When she does sleep, she always moans your name," Alice whispered. "Then she smiles. Momentarily. You brought her happiness for the time that you were together."

"Okay, not to sound like a prick, but if she wants me so badly, why doesn't she call me?" I spat.

"She's stubborn. So are you. Another reason why you two are perfect for each other," Alice said as she smacked me again. "Get your head out of your ass and come to the apartment. Please?"

"No, Alice. I can't. I just can't," I said, my heart breaking even more. A few stray tears fell out of my eyes and I hastily wiped them away. "I'll try and call this weekend, but I really can't."

"Don't call. Just show up," Alice said. "You will come, Edward Cullen. Even if I have to drag you by your cock, you're coming."

"Alice, that is not a visual I'd like to have," I grimaced. "It's not a leash."

Alice cupped my junk, squeezing tightly. "Do I need to drag you now, Whipping Boy?" My eyes bugged out of my head and I shook my head emphatically. She smirked and released my twig and berries. "Next time I won't be as gentle or I'll bring Emmett."

"You suck, Alice," I said as I adjusted my package.

"Not you," Alice winked. "Only Jazzy."

"Oh, ewwwwww. I don't need that mental image," I said as I scrubbed my face.

"Bye, Edward," Alice sang as she kissed my cheek.

I finished closing and headed back to my apartment. I picked up some Chinese food from Mr. Foo's. I finished my meal and sat back on my couch. I was almost asleep when the phone rang on my cocktail table. "Hello?"

"Edward?" came a quiet voice.

"Speaking," I said, trying not to sound put out.

"It's Mom," Esme said, her voice nervous. "You haven't called. I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Just peachy," I said dryly. "I'm sorry I haven't called you. Life has been really bad recently."

"How are things with you and Bella?"

"Nonexistent," I replied. "She kicked me out of her hospital room and we haven't talked since."

"I'm so sorry, Edward," Esme whispered. "I hope it works out for the two of you. I really do."

"I doubt it."

"You are really cynical, Edward," Esme chastised.

"It's a learned behavior. I didn't use to be," I said, rubbing salt into her wounds. "Remember when I was a happy-go-lucky teenager?"

"Edward," Esme warned.

"What?" I snapped. "I'm not allowed to feel a little bit of resentment?"

"You have every right to feel that," Esme replied in a dejected tone. "I'm sorry."

"So, other than checking to see if I'm breathing, to what do I owe the honor of this call?"

"I was wondering if you were available to meet with my attorney for your inheritance from Grandfather Masen," Esme muttered.

"I'm off tomorrow," I said. "Where do you want to meet?"

"We have to meet with my attorney, Jay Jenks, in Port Angeles," Esme responded. "Come to the house and we'll head over together, okay?"

"I don't know if I can be at that house," I said.

"Edward, please?" Esme begged.

"Fine, but I'm not coming in," I conceded. "What time?"

"Can you get here by eleven?"

"I'll see you then," I answered. "See you tomorrow."

"See you then. I love you, my baby boy," Esme said quietly.

I hung up the phone. "Love you, too, Mom." I walked to my bed and crawled between the sheets. I closed my eyes but sleep did not come. I just pictured my old house and my old memories. Memories of a happier time. Memories of my old life. A life that I will never get back.

xx EC: AWIP xx

I drove up to Port Angeles and up the drive that I never expected I'd traverse again. I was wearing some conservative clothing that I had obtained from my Midget Godmother, also known as Alice. I had a pair of black dress pants and the gray dress shirt from the first fashion show. My hair was combed and I removed my brow ring. I parked the car in front of the large white Victorian home. It hadn't changed. It was immaculately kept. Undoubtedly kept up by gardeners and landscapers. It must be nice to have money.

I strode up to the front door and rang the doorbell. I didn't seem right for me to just walk in. I stood nervously on the front stoop and pinched my nose. After a few moments, Esme opened the door and gave me a bright smile. "Edward, it's so good to see you," she said as she hugged me. I awkwardly hugged her in return. "Come in. I have to get some paperwork."

"I'd rather not," I said.

"Edward, please? I don't know how long I'm going to take. I'd rather not you spend it outside in your car," Esme chided motherly. I groaned and stepped into my old home. I was rooted in my spot. Nothing had changed. It was still light and airy. The décor was neutral. "Help yourself to anything in the fridge."

"Okay, thanks," I said as I stared at the house. I took a tentative step inside and looked around. There pictures everywhere. Pictures from my junior and senior year of high school. Pictures of Esme and Carlisle in happier times. Pictures from my childhood. Toothless pictures from little league. Pictures from my recitals. My prom. High school graduation. Then I looked into the living room. In its usual spot was my piano. I walked slowly to the piano and sat down on the bench. I lifted the lid and laid my fingers on the black and white keys. Without thinking, I began playing Bella's lullaby. As I played, my heart was breaking. I was never going to get her back. I was almost finished when I stopped abruptly, burying my head in my arms. "Why can't you love me back?" I cried.

Esme came into the living room and sat down next to me on the bench. She pulled me into a tight embrace. I sobbed. I sobbed for the ten years of my life that sucked. I sobbed for the broken woman who stole my heart. I sobbed for my lost relationship with my mom. With my dad. I sobbed at my own stupidity. I sobbed at losing my grandfather, my one true supporter. "Shhhh, my sweet boy, it's okay," Esme cooed as she rubbed her hands over my back. I clutched at her as I cried. "Let it all out. You've been so strong for so long. Someone needs to care for you. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you, Edward. So sorry," Esme choked out. I pulled away and wiped my face.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't be, Edward," Esme whispered as she caressed my cheeks, wiping my tears away. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you in the past. What mother abandons their child? I will never get over my guilt. My anguish for letting you leave. I just hope that we can rebuild our relationship. I love you, Edward. You're my baby and it pains me to see you so broken up."

"Be grateful you didn't see me a year ago," I joked lamely. "I was worse off than I am now. This is just emotional bullshit. Before it was emotional, mental and physical. Take off about fifty pounds and give me a sickly look and that was me last year."

"Oh, Edward," Esme said with a frown.

"I wasn't eating, wasting all of my money on drugs," I shrugged.

"You're clean now, right?"

"Yeah. A year and a month that I've been drug free," I said with an unenthusiastic fist pump.

"Why were you crying, Edward? You were never one to show your emotions. So stoic," Esme said.

"At how much I miss her," I whispered. "I'm never going to get her back. She's too broken. She'll never trust any man."

"What happened to her? When she was attacked?" Esme asked as she held my hands.

"She was raped. By this sadistic fucker named James," I said. "Sorry about the language, but that's what he is. He stalked her since he was fired from Dreamstyle. He would randomly show up and give her grief. Anyhow, we had this huge fight the night she was attacked and she ran off by herself. I was drinking when it was happening. He was pounding into her and he brutalized her. She was penetrated with a knife and it caused her to bleed internally. They performed a hysterectomy. I don't know how she's doing recently since she hasn't been back at work. Her roommate tried to get me to come over, but I don't think I can."

"How old is Bella?" Esme asked, her hazel eyes shining with tears.

"Twenty-six."

"So young. And she can't have children," Esme cried.

"Want to know the saddest part? She's already had a child."

"What?"

"She was raped while in foster care. She was impregnated by her rapist on his birthday. He raped her 22 times for his 22nd birthday. She gave birth to a little boy in March eight years ago. She gave him up for adoption," I whispered. "She's had it so hard."

"Oh, Edward," Esme said as she hugged me tightly. "That poor girl."

"I know. You want to know something else? She said, before she was attacked, that she felt safe with me. Now, I don't know if she'll ever feel safe. With me. Or with anyone else."

"I have a feeling that things with Bella will work out. She has obviously captured your heart. You were always so hesitant to love anybody. Even as a boy. Remember Tanya?"

"Oh, GOD! Not Tanya. She was a shrew. A persistent shrew," I grumbled.

"But she got you to admit that you 'loved' her," Esme teased.

"Under duress, Mom. Her knee was on my junk. The only way that she would let it up was if I said that I loved her," I said as I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry, but I'm attached to that part of my anatomy."

"But she got you to admit it," Esme laughed.

"Whatever. Don't we have a lawyer to meet?" I asked.

"Yes, let's go." Esme led me out to the garage and we climbed into her large Range Rover SUV. We drove to the attorney's office and led into a posh office. Esme shuffled her file folder of papers and gave me a smile. "Edward, it will work out."

"I hope so," I sighed as I fumbled with the buttons on my shirt. "I do have a question for you."

"Shoot."

"Were you surprised about my appearance? My lifestyle?" I asked.

"Not really. I'd love you even if you had a third eye. In regards to your embellishments, I think that they suit you. The one that bothers me is the thing in your tongue. Doesn't that hurt?"

"This?" I asked as I ran my barbell over my lip. "Nah. I hurt when I got it, but it's fun to play with."

"With the four years with braces, I'm surprised you got that," Esme chuckled.

"Fucking braces. I hated those things," I groaned.

"Edward, language."

"Sorry. What about the tattoos? Those don't upset you?"

"No. I really like the Masen Crest on your neck," she said as she ran her fingers along the crest. "Grandfather would have liked that one."

"Sure, Mom," I snorted.

"Grandfather Masen had a few tattoos," Esme said, arching a brow. "As do I."

"What?"

"Nothing that would be seen. However, I have two tattoos," Esme said with a smug look on her face. "I have the Masen Crest on my lower back and the other one I won't mention. Since you are my son and all."

"Oh, GOD!" I groaned as I covered my face. Esme laughed in her seat as she demurely crossed her legs.

Jay Jenks came into the office and he plopped down. He was an older gentleman with a friendly face. He smiled at Esme and looked at me. He shrank back. I assume he was intimidated by the exposed ink and my ever present scowl. "Ah, the elusive Mr. Cullen."

"Mr. Jenks," I said as I held out my hand. "So, my mother informed me that I received a sizable inheritance from my grandfather."

"Yes, you did, Mr. Cullen. In addition to the monetary amount, you also are getting the home in Chicago, all of Mr. Masen's automobiles, his stockholdings, his home in Seattle and all of the family jewelry."

"What in the hell am I going to do with all of that?" I squeaked.

"That is entirely up to you," Mr. Jenks shrugged. "Also, here is the monetary amount that is left to you by your grandfather. This is in addition to your trust that Mrs. Cullen has deposited." He passed me a piece of paper from the bank and I nearly fell out of my seat. That is a LOT of zeros.

"What do I need to do?" I asked.

"Sign here," Mr. Jenks said. I picked up the pen he handed to me and signed my name. Mr. Jenks then handed me a large file filled with papers. He walked to a large safe in the office. He opened it and pulled out an envelope. He handed me the envelope and gave me a smile. "Your inheritance and trust. You do have a bank account, right?"

"Yes," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Okay," Jenks replied. "Thank you for working with me, Mrs. Cullen."

"It was a pleasure, Mr. Jenks," Esme said as she handed him a check. "Thank you for your patience."

"If you need assistance with Dr. Cullen, please don't hesitate to contact me."

"I don't think so, but I appreciate the offer, Mr. Jenks," Esme said. She stood up and held out her hand. Jenks shook it and gave her a smile. I followed suit and we headed out of the office.

"What did Jenks mean with 'assistance with Dr. Cullen?'"

"If I wanted to divorce him," Esme said with a dismissive shrug. "I think Mr. Jenks has a bit of a crush."

"A bit? Mom, he was undressing you with his beady little eyes," I said as I wiggled my fingers. "You could do so much better than that. Definitely trading down if you went on a date with Jenks."

"Yes, I would be. As much as I love your father, I couldn't go back to him. But I can't move on from him," Esme said with a wistful look on her face. "I don't think I could go back to being Esme Masen. I've been Esme Cullen for so long. Thirty years."

"But you deserve to be happy, Mom."

"I know. So do you," Esme said as she patted my cheek. "I've missed you so much, my Edward. We are so much alike, it's scary. You can read my mind."

"That's because I'm your son. Not his."

"Have you spoken to your father since…?"

"Hell, no. I don't care to either," I spat.

"Do you want to know why he was so hell bent on kicking you out?"

"Yes, Mom. Enlighten me," I said with a smirk.

"He was jealous of you. Edward, you're brilliant. A genius. We didn't tell you this, but you're IQ is off the charts. Everything came so easily for you. You just had to look at something and you got it. Carlisle, everything was a challenge. He never slept all through college and medical school. He had to stay up to study. He was insanely envious of how easily things came to you. If you had gone to medical school, it would have been a breeze for you. If you had gone to college…Edward, I made such a mistake. I was so afraid of losing your father and didn't care enough about you. I will live all of my days with that unbearable guilt and I am SO SORRY for giving up. For not believing in you," Esme cried. She buried her head in her hands and stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, bawling. I stopped and wrapped my arms around my mom. She sobbed against my shirt and clutched at my waist. "Please forgive me, Edward. Please!"

"It's okay, Mom. I forgive you," I whispered into her hair. "I know you're sorry. We can't go back in time, but we can move forward. You need to let this go. Okay?" She sniffled and nodded against my chest.

"I am sorry. I am a horrible mother. Letting her baby boy go into the world with nothing," Esme said as she pulled away.

"Mom, I survived. I'm healthy. For the most part," I cringed.

"What does that mean?"

"I overdosed on coke and had a heart attack. But I'm fine now," I said. "Just a weak heart. I need to monitor my blood pressure and I do that."

"Edward," Esme said as she smacked my arm with considerable force. "Overdosed! Heart attack? You're twenty-eight. Too young to be dealing with that shit."

"Mom!"

"What? You've said worse," Esme countered.

"But I'm a young punk with piercings and tattoos. People expect it from me. You're not…"I said, offering the most pitiful excuse of an argument.

"Oh please, Edward," Esme laughed as she rolled her eyes. "I can cuss with the best of 'em."

"Yeah? If you can, you don't say the word 'cuss,'" I teased as I offered my arm to her. "You swear like a drunken sailor."

"Oh, fuck off," Esme giggled.

"Good job, Mom," I said as a winked at her. "I need to stop at the bank and deposit the check."

"Of course," Esme said. I jogged into the bank and asked to see a personal banker. Esme sat next to me and gave me a smile. We were met with a young man named Kyle who assisted me in creating an account for my inheritance. His eyes nearly bugged out his head when he saw the amount of zeros on the check. Yeah, tell me about it, buddy. I endorsed the check and deposited it into my account. While I was there, I also applied for a credit card which I was immediately approved for. It would be sent to my apartment in Seattle. Kyle wanted to set credit limit as 'unlimited.' I said no. I put the limit at $10,000. I was nervous at doing that. Big time.

I woke up a poor, destitute tattoo artist with a pitiful existence. Now, I'm fucking goddamned millionaire. I think I'm going to puke. Esme and I went out to lunch in Port Angeles before we headed back to the mansion. I needed to head back to Seattle tonight because I had to work tomorrow. Esme encouraged me to go to school, but I was hesitant. I had some thinking to do. I also needed to attend to the house in Chicago and the house in Seattle.

I kissed my mom goodbye before I drove back to Seattle. "Mom, I do forgive you. I'm still not very trusting about the whole situation, but I do forgive you. Let's work this out at a reasonable pace."

"I understand, Edward. I appreciate your willingness to forgive me," Esme said as she kissed my forehead. "I love you, my sweet boy."

"I love you, too, Mom," I said, giving her a crooked smile. She returned my grin and hugged me tightly. "I'll call you when I get settled at home."

I got into my Volvo and drove back to Seattle. I made really good time and parked at my apartment. I called Esme, letting her know that I was home safe and sound. She told me that she loved me and that everything would work out for Bella and I. If only I held the same confidence.

I looked through the envelope that Jenks gave me. Inside was the deed for both homes, along with keys and information about the security codes. Before heading to work tomorrow, I'd go to my local branch of my bank and get a safety deposit box for all of this. In the files were the keys to the safety deposit boxes in Chicago along with descriptions of the all of the jewelry that Grandfather Masen left me. I ran my hands over my face and sat back on my couch. "I cannot believe this. I just can't."

I put the paperwork back in the envelope when my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. "Hello?" I asked.

No one answered.

"Is anybody there?" I asked again, getting pissed.

"Yes," came a quiet response. It was woman's voice. It sounded like Bella, but she was so broken.

"Bella?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's me. Edward, I need your help," she whispered.

"What, love?" I asked. Bella cried and she dropped the phone. "Bella! Pick up the phone. Please, baby."

The phone disconnected and I growled, throwing my own cell phone on the table. Why does she need my help? What's wrong with her? I dialed the number again and it went straight to voicemail. The standard greeting came through the tinny speakers of my phone and I hung up, pinching my nose in frustration. I dialed Alice and waited for her to pick up.

"Is Bella with you?" Alice asked, panic in her voice.

"No, but she just called me," I said. "What's wrong?"

"I came home from the store and she was gone. All of her stuff was gone. She left a note saying that she needed to leave. However, it didn't look like her handwriting. Even with the cast, she was still able to write like herself. Edward, I think James found her."

"What?" I roared. "I'll kill him. Murder him with my bare fucking hands."

"I don't know, though. Edward, I'm so worried," Alice cried.

"I'm on my way. Don't go anywhere," I said as I grabbed my keys. I hung up the phone and took my envelope of papers. I put it under my mattress for now and I ran out of the apartment to Alice and Bella's apartment. I don't think that James got her. He would be more sadistic than that. He wouldn't let her call someone. Jacob? No, he's in jail. Who? Who could take Bella? Would she leave on her own? Why did she call me?

So many questions that are left unanswered and the only person who can is missing…

Fuck.

A/N: Rebuilding bridges with Esme. YAY! Edward got his inheritance. YAY! Bella is missing but is reaching out to Edward. BOO! If you have a theory of what will happen next, let me know. Leave me a review and love. Reviews are my crack. I need a fix. Xoxox


	12. Chapter 12

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a cold, a moonstone ring, and a basement full of crap that I don't need.**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

_***This chapter might be pretty graphic for some. Not sexually, but emotionally. Just giving you fair warning.***_

**Chapter 12: Instability**

I slammed on the brakes outside of Alice and Bella's apartment. I saw Emmett's Jeep and Jasper's motorcycle. I stabbed the button for their apartment and was buzzed in. I sprinted up the stairs to the apartment. Alice opened the door and fell into my arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I picked her up with ease, walking into the apartment.

"What happened?" I asked. I carried Alice to a chair and set her down. Jasper was hissing on the phone in the kitchen. She got up and pulled me into the chair, sitting on my lap. "Someone please tell me what happened?"

Emmett spoke up. "Alice came home from the shop. She went to check on Bella. Alice walked into her room and some of her clothes were gone, along with a duffel. She also found this note." Emmett handed me the note.

"Put it on the table. Who's touched it?" I asked.

"Um, me and Alice," Emmett said. "Why?"

"Have you called the cops? Perhaps they could check for fingerprints on this," I said as I pointed to the note. I leaned forward and read what Bella supposedly wrote. It definitely wasn't her handwriting.

_Alice –_

_I'm sorry but it's too painful for me to be here. I'm leaving. Don't look for me. You won't find me. Not that it matters. I'm not worthy of anything…_

_Bella_

"It sounds like a suicide note," I whispered. "Where did Bella hang out before she lived with you, Alice?"

"I don't know. I know she lived in Phoenix, but she won't go back there. That's even more painful as that's where she was raped by Jacob," Alice said.

"Where did she get the E?" I asked. "Who's her dealer?"

"Big burley fucker named Sam," Emmett said. "She tattooed him once. He propositioned her and fell into a very dangerous relationship with him for a month or so. He supplied her with drugs. The good shit."

"Did she shoot up?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"Did Sam deal in heroine or meth?" I pressed. "Would Bella go to him for a fix?"

"Why would she do that?" Alice spat. "She hasn't done hardcore shit like that in a few years. She was in a bad way when she took the E a few months back, but that was nothing compared to what she used to do. She gave it up."

"You take that shit to forget the pain, Alice. She's in incredible pain. Emotional, mental and physical pain," I said. "She's essentially lost her womanhood. Her body was brutally attacked and this is how she's coping."

"You sound like you know, Edward," Jasper said.

"I was in the exact same spot as her a year ago. Right, Em?" I sighed.

"Edward, Jasper knows about your stint in rehab. He's my silent partner," Emmett said.

"I was wondering how you knew that I needed a fix the night that Bella was attacked," I chuckled darkly. "However, this isn't about me. It's about Bella. Where is Sam?"

"He actually lives in a run-down house in your neighborhood, Edward," Emmett said.

"Let's go," I said as I lifted Alice from my lap. "You stay here, Alice. In case she comes back."

"But, I want to go," she whined.

"It's not a good place, Midget," Emmett said. "Let Edward and I handle it. Jasper stay with her." Jasper nodded and went to Alice's side, snaking his arm around her waist. Emmett and I headed down to his Jeep. He screeched away from the curb and sped through the darkened streets of Seattle. This was a long shot, but we had to check. We had to try. "What the fuck are you wearing, Edward?"

"I had a meeting with my mom's lawyer. I got my inheritance from my Grandfather."

"Dude, you look like a pussy. There's a box of t-shirts in the back. Put one on," Emmett chortled.

"You are a douche," I said as I unbuttoned my grey shirt. I tossed it over the seat and grabbed a black Dreamstyle t-shirt from the box in the back. "Better?"

"Much. Now you don't look like an financial planner," Emmett laughed as he sped through my neighborhood.

"We can swing by my apartment so I can put on jeans, you ass," I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Nah, you're good." Emmett slowed down and pulled onto Elm Street. _Creepy, right?_ He searched the houses until we were almost to the next cross street. "Here it is." It was a small ranch house that had seen better days. The exterior had faded gray paint and the black shutters were hanging off their hinges. The metal chain link fence had several holes and there was a loud barking Rottweiler in the backyard. "Pleasant."

"This is the Taj Mahal compared to the dealers I went to," I said as I nibbled my fingernail.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not."

"Fuck, Edward."

"No, don't fuck Edward," I joked. _SMACK_. "I deserved that."

"Let's get this done," Emmett said as his normally friendly face morphed into a menacing snarl. "Ready to fuck somebody up?"

"If it means we find Bella? Fuck yeah," I said as I grinned evilly. We got out of the Jeep and walked up to house. I banged on the storm door. As we waited, I cracked my knuckles and adjusted my own scowl.

The door opened and a petite Native American woman opened the door. Her face was scarred with burns and she had a frown permanently etched on her face. Her black eyes were glassy and she swayed on her feet. "Need a fix?" she asked drunkenly.

"We're looking for Sam," Emmett said.

"Come on in. How did you find him?" she said.

"A friend of ours. Perhaps you know her? Bella Swan?" I piped up.

She shrugged and stumbled into the kitchen. "Sam! You have two clients!"

"Fuck, Emily. I'm busy," Sam grunted.

"I can tell them about Jerry's on Fifth," Emily spat. "Quit fucking your whore and get out here."

Sam growled and a few moments later, he appeared. He was zipping up his pants and adjusting a bulge in his jeans. "What do you want?" he asked gruffly. "I'm out of coke. But I have plenty of meth and shitload of weed."

"We're not here for drugs," Emmett said quietly. "We're here for information."

"You the cops? Fuck. EMILY!" Sam growled as he backhanded the small woman. She went flying across the room and fell into a table.

I ran to her and helped her up. "Are you okay?"

"I've had worse," she said as she stood up. "Fuck off."

I bristled and moved away. "We're not the fucking cops. However, we will call them if you don't help us," I said as I looked at the tall man. He was also Native American. His tanned skin had a leathery texture. His black hair was captured in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His muscles had muscles. He was bigger than Emmett. If that was possible. However, our advantage was we were sober. Sam obviously was not. He was unsteady on his feet and his eyes had a dazed expression in them.

"What the hell do you want, if it's not drugs?" Sam scowled.

"Information. About our friend. Bella Swan. Have you seen her?" Emmett asked as he flexed his muscles.

"She came here earlier today. She cleaned me out of coke. That's why I'm dry," Sam shrugged. "She left after that. Don't know where she went. Don't care. I just deal. I don't put tracking devices in my clients."

His nonchalant attitude was pissing me off. I growled and shoved Sam into the wall. "You asshole. Where did she go? Which way did she head?" I screamed as I pressed my forearm against his trachea. Sam's face grew murderous and he shoved me away. He reeled back and clocked me across the nose. I fell to the ground, spitting out blood. Emmett and Sam were scuffling with each other. Eventually, Sam was pressed against the wall again. Emmett was breathing heavily and he was ready to kill. "Which way did she go?"

"She mentioned something about the marina. I don't know," Sam grumbled. "Are you two done?"

"If you see her again, call this number," Emmett said as he pushed a piece of paper into Sam's pocket. "Immediately. Are we clear?"

"Yeah, we're clear. Now get the fuck out of here," Sam seethed. Emmett punched Sam in the gut. Sam fell to the ground, clutching his belly. "Asshole."

"No, that's me," I said as I kicked him in the ribs. I picked up a dishtowel as we left and held it to my nose. We got into the Jeep and drove off. "God damn it. I think the fucker broke my nose."

"It'll make your face less pretty, Eddie," Emmett chuckled. "Marina?"

"Which one? There's a ton in Seattle."

"Bella liked to go to this one marina near the Pike Street Market. We'll start there," Emmett said. "If we can't find her there, then we'll head back and get the cops involved." I sighed and nodded. Emmett and I drove in silence to the marina that he mentioned. We parked on the street and started wandering along the marina. We walked for an hour. Nothing.

With heavy hearts and a defeated attitude, Emmett and I walked back to his jeep. We drove back to the apartment and told Alice and Jasper about what we found out. Alice cried while Jasper called the police. They said that we couldn't do anything until the missing person was gone for forty-eight hours. I punched a hole through the wall with that one. Emmett and I went to a twenty-four hour store and got supplies to fix the wall. Afterward, we spent the night at Alice's apartment. Emmett and I slept on the couches. Alice told me to sleep in Bella's bed, but I couldn't. Not without her.

_Where are you?_

xx EC: AWIP xx

We met with the cops after the requisite forty-eight hours. They were not helpful. They offered no hope. Bella obviously left of her own volition and they couldn't look for her. _Too bad…so sad. Deal with it fuckers. _ That was two weeks ago. Still no word. Nothing. Bella had disappeared from the planet.

Alice was a mess. She barely made it through the day. Jasper did his best with calming her, but her only relief would be seeing Bella. Emmett was worried. However, he held up better than Alice. I was the worst. I turned into a ghost. I did my job but during my off hours, I was looking for Bella. Searching marinas, seedy hotels, my old drug haunts, anywhere for her. I even called Jenks. I asked for a name of a private detective. He gave me a few names, but I didn't trust them. I could do this better on my own. But the question remained, was Bella in Seattle? Did she leave?

_God, I hope not. _

I tried calling the phone number that was used that first night she reached out to me. It had been disconnected. Or it was a disposable cell phone.

I was sitting in my apartment and eating some microwave dinner. My phone shrilled from its charger. I put my food down and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Is this Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah. Can I help you?" I asked.

"Your name is listed as the emergency contact for one of our guests at our hotel. She hasn't left her room in several days…"

"What's her name?" I asked.

"Isabella Swan."

"Where are you? What hotel?" I asked as I began racing through my apartment.

"Seattle Pacific Hotel."

"I'll be right there," I spat as I hung up the phone. I grabbed my keys and ran down to my car. _She didn't leave. She's still in Seattle. I hope she's okay. _I started my car and pulled away from the curb. I drove like a madman to Seattle Pacific Hotel. I parked and ran into the lobby. "Someone called me earlier about one of your guests. Isabella Swan?"

"That was me," a young man said. "I'm Trent and I'm the general manager. Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah. What room is she in? I need to find her," I said, grasping at straws.

"Of course. However, she only paid for one night but hasn't left the room for nearly a week and a half," Trent said with a pointed glare.

"I'll pay for the damn room. Please," I said as I threw out my new credit card. Trent gave an exasperated sigh and ran my card. I signed the slip. "Can I get a key? Since I paid for the room and all."

"Sure, Mr. Cullen," Trent said as he made a key for me. "Room 512."

"Thanks," I said as I darted to the elevators. They were taking too long and I ran up the stairs. I got to the fifth floor and headed into the hallway. I found room 512 and I took a few deep breaths. "Please be alright."

I slid in the key and the door unlocked. I opened the door and was shocked at the state of the room. It was torn apart. The lamps were strewn all over the room and bedding was on the floor. I stepped inside and looked around, searching for Bella. I looked on the bed but it was stripped bare. On the table was a mirror with a lot of coke. I bit my lip and ignored it. _You're clean, Edward. Don't fuck it up. _I heard the shower and I opened the bathroom door.

Bella was sitting on the bathroom floor. Her eyes were glazed. Her cast had been removed, but it wasn't done by a doctor. Her right hand was covered with cuts and scrapes, like she removed the cast herself. On her arms were red angry cuts that were not there before. Bella looked like she hadn't showered in days and her hair hung limply over her face. "Oh god, Bella," I croaked out as strode to her. I turned off the shower. When I did I noticed that in her left hand was a small blade. She looked at me and hissed, running the blade along her arm. "Baby, please stop."

"I can't," she moaned. "I'm trying to end it."

"Please don't. Too many people love you," I said as I sat down on the floor, next to my broken girl.

"No love," she cried. "No love…not worthy of that." She moved the blade to her legs and dragged it there. "I'm a mistake."

"Bella, you're not," I whispered as I moved closer. My hands moved closer to her legs. I needed to get the blade away from her. I can't bear to watch her herself. "You are worthy of love."

"No, I'm not," she sobbed. "No one can love me."

"Alice loves you. Emmett loves you. Jasper loves you. I love you," I whispered. I put my hand on her leg. She pulled away. "I'm sorry."

"They don't love me. They pity me," she spat. "I see the pity in your pretty green eyes."

"I don't pity you, Bella. I'm worried about you," I said as I got on my knees. Bella snarled and stabbed at her legs. "Fuck, stop!" I reached for her hands and pulled her into a restraining embrace. "Stop hurting yourself."

Bella feebly fought against me. "Let go of me. Don't touch me," she said as she wiggled against my grasp.

"Drop the blade, Bella," I said. Her hand coiled around it and I could see the blood trickle down her arm. "Drop the fucking blade. Now." I reached for her hand and I forced it open. I tossed the blade into the hallway and gathered her in my arms. She still fought against me. "Bella, you need help."

"No I don't. I need to die," she said. "I can't do anything right. I can't…babies…Ja…" She sobbed and collapsed against me. "I'm so broken."

"Shhh, love," I said as I angled her on my lap. I held her as she sobbed, bawled and cried for her life. Her future. We sat there for who knows how long. "We need to clean you up. Clean your wounds." Bella nodded and started to move. I held her tightly and picked her up. I sat on the toilet with Bella still in my lap and started the water in the shower. "Do you want to do yourself or do you want my help?"

"You," she said meekly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I feel safe with you," she whispered. I nodded and plugged the tub. With a tender touch, I lifted Bella's shirt. This was not the way I wanted to see her naked. Broken and hurting. I'd rather it be in the throes of passion, but she needed my help. I tossed the shirt, the shirt that I had brought when I stayed at her place, onto the floor and stood up. Bella lowered her panties and stepped into the tub that was filling with water. She hissed when she sank down and the water hit her cuts. I got a washcloth and dunked in the warm water. I knelt next to the tub and turned off the water. Bella curled up, resting her head on her knees. I lathered up the washcloth and gently scrubbed her back.

She was so thin. I could see her ribs through her skin. It looked like she hadn't eaten in the two weeks she was missing. I bit my lip to quell the tears that were threatening to fall onto my cheeks. _Oh, Bella. _I ran the washcloth over her rail thin arms and picked one up. With a gentle touch, I cleaned the scrapes and cuts there. I repeated the action with her other arm. Bella was crying quietly as I washed her body. "Put your legs down, love."

Slowly, Bella lowered her legs and I gently washed her thighs and legs. Some of the cuts on her legs needed bandaging. It was probably safe to assume that Bella didn't have any. As I was washing her legs, I noticed a small red scar along her bikini line. The cruel reminder of her lost womanhood. I didn't dwell on it and I reached for a small glass. "Do you want to wash your hair or me?" Bella pointed to the glass. I guess I was going to wash her hair. "Lean back, baby." She did and I wet her hair with the glass. I squeezed some shampoo into my hands and lathered up her hair. Bella whimpered slightly as I washed her hair. I tried to control my emotions, but they were too close to the surface. A few tears slipped from my eyes. I brushed them away before Bella noticed. I finished washing her hair and grabbed a towel. I placed the towel on the toilet and picked her up. She offered no resistance. In fact she clung to me. I placed her on the toilet and used another towel to dry her.

Behind the bathroom door was a robe. I pulled it on her and crouched in front of her. "Feel better?"

She nodded and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "How did you find me?"

"You put my name as the emergency contact on your paperwork," I said. "They called me when I got home from work. How did you get here? I didn't see your truck."

"I sold it for drug money," she murmured. "I didn't want to feel anything."

"Yeah, well now you're going to flush it all," I said, my voice stern.

"You do it," she shrugged.

"No. You need to do it. This is done, Bella. You need to flush your drugs," I said as I stood up. I offered my hand to her. She looked up at me. Her cinnamon eyes pleading with me. "No. You held me accountable for my actions at Dreamstyle. Now I'm doing it for you."

Bella sighed and took my hand, standing on unsteady feet. I wanted to wrap my arm around her waist, but she needed to do this on her own. I'd only be her help. We walked into the room and Bella shrank back. "I can't."

"Yes. You can," I said as I tugged on her hand. "You called me two weeks ago, asking for help. I'm giving it to you. But ultimately, it's up to you."

"But…" she said as she let out a strangled sob.

"Bella. No buts." I released her hand and crossed my arms over my chest. Bella's shoulders slumped. "You can do this. You need to do this. You have so many people who love you and care about you. We need her back. We need you back, baby."

"Don't call me, baby," Bella whispered.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize. I like it better when you call me 'love,'" Bella murmured as she moved closer to me. She put her head on my arm and I melted. I wrapped my arms around her and held her closely.

"Whatever makes you happy, love," I said. "But you are stalling. There is a shitload of coke over there. It needs to go."

"Damn," she said as she pulled away. "You're tough."

"I have to be. It's taking all of my control to not go over there and do a line," I replied.

"You're stronger than me."

"I'm not going to throw away a year of sobriety for a whim," I shrugged. "Quit stalling. But I'll wait for as long as we have to." Bella pouted and looked at the table with her drugs warily. "You can do this."

"Stay close, please," she muttered. Her cinnamon eyes met mine and she bit her lip. I nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. Bella took a tentative step closer to the table. She navigated the disaster area that was her hotel room and reached the table. I followed a few steps behind. I picked up a garbage can and held it out. Bella looked at it and took it. She shoved all of the drug paraphernalia into the garbage can. She looked up at me and gave a genuine smile.

"You're not done yet," I said sternly. I pointed to the bathroom and crossed my arms. Bella's face fell and she begrudgingly went back to the bathroom. Again I followed her, a few steps behind. She went into the bathroom and tried to close the door. I stopped her by leaning against it. "Stays open."

"You really are tough," she said.

"Yep. I have to be," I said. "Flush it. All of it." Bella looked at me and gave me a hard stare. "You want my help? Then flush it. I don't want you to relive my mistakes. But you have to do it." Bella blew out a breath and took out the baggies of coke from the garbage can. She put them into the toilet, flushing it. She then took out the mirror and shook it into the toilet. _Flush. _Three bags of pills. _Flush. _A large bag of weed. _Flush._

"The rest probably won't go down the toilet. It's the mirror and bong," Bella whispered.

"We'll leave those for housekeeping. Do you have any clothes?" I asked. Bella shook her head no. "Nothing?"

"Only what I was wearing. And a pair of jeans. But I think I attacked them with the blade," she shrugged. "I was having some weird fucking hallucinations."

"Can you handle staying here for a half hour by yourself? I'll get you some clothes," I said. "I could call Alice, if you want."

"No! Not Alice. I can't handle Alice," Bella shrieked. "You. I'll pay you back once I get back on my feet."

"Bella, don't worry about it. I'll be back in a little bit, okay?" She nodded and gave me a slight smile. I picked up the blade as I left and headed downstairs. I stopped by the front desk and told Trent that there was some damage to the room. He growled. I told him that I would cover the cost. Just send me the bill. I drove to a Walmart near the hotel. I went into the women's department and picked up some yoga pants, a few t-shirts and some underwear. I went with the smallest sizes because Bella had lost so much weight. I didn't know what kind of bra to get her so, she'd have to deal with no bra. I also got a pair of flip flops, toothbrush, toothpaste, brush and hoodie. I paid for my purchases, getting a weird look from the Indian man who rang me up. I snarled and ran back to my car. I drove back to the hotel and headed up to Bella's room.

I used my key to open the door. The mess on the floor was cleaned up and Bella was making the bed. "I come bearing gifts," I said with a crooked smile. "I didn't know what size, so I ended up getting the smallest. You've lost weight."

"I haven't really been eating," she said as she sat down on the bed. She took the Walmart bag from and sorted through it. "I'm going to put this stuff on. Thank you." She got up and went into the bathroom to change. She left the door open. I heard her brush her teeth and put on the clothes. She came out a few minutes later wearing the black yoga pants and black t-shirt. On her feet were the flip flops and the hoodie was draped over her arm. "You did good. Very comfortable."

"I aim to please," I smirked. "Do you want to stay here or…?"

"I'm not ready to face Alice," Bella whispered. "It'll be awhile before I can."

"How about this? You spend tonight at my place. I'll sleep on the couch. Then, tomorrow we check you into an outpatient rehab facility," I said. "You need help, Bella. You can't turn to drugs. You need to talk to someone. A therapist. Psychiatrist. Somebody."

"I know. I bet you never expected to say that," Bella chuckled.

"Not really," I said as I pulled my brows together. "Hello, pot…meet kettle."

"But, I can't afford it. I really can't. I'm certain that Emmett fired me…"

"Bella, don't worry about the money. We'll figure it out. What matters the most is getting you healthy," I said as I held her hands.

"Edward," she whispered. "There's something that I need to tell you."

"What, love?" I asked.

She grinned slightly and looked up at me. "I am broken. But I don't feel as broken when I'm around you. I was comforted while you were with me in the hospital. I didn't want you to leave but I was so fucking pissed at what happened and the subsequent result."

"Bella…"

"Stop," Bella said as she covered my mouth with her tiny hand. "Let me finish what I have to say. Please?" I nodded and she released my mouth. "Edward, I'm so sorry for being so hateful to you. You awakened something in me that I never expected. I felt happy. Alive. Loved. For the first time in my life because of you. Even after how I've behaved, you're here and helping me. And I appreciate that. I never expected it from you, but you are here and…"

"Bella, I'm doing what any normal person would have done," I replied.

"No. You aren't. Before I checked in here, I roamed on the streets and I got looks of disgust and hatred. I was dirty and mumbling incoherently. They were appalled by me. However, when you saw me a few hours ago, you didn't show any disgust or malice. You helped me. You…loved…me," she whispered. "No one has ever loved me before. You were the reason why I couldn't end it. Every time I got close, I pictured YOUR face. I…" Bella looked up at me and her cinnamon eyes were brimming with tears. "I am so sorry. So sorry for hurting you."

"Already forgotten, love," I said as I caressed her cheek.

"Edward…I love you," she murmured. "I should have said it back at the club after you played that beautiful song. I should have said it so many times prior to that, but I didn't know how. I'm so fucked up right now, but I need to hear that you feel the same way. Something for me to work toward."

"Bella, you know I love you. But you have to get better for you," I said as I led her to the bed. "I'll support you and help you in any way I can. Ultimately it's you who needs to make this decision. Do you want to get clean? For you?"

"Yes," she said, her eyes determined. "For me. For you. For us."

"You will go to a rehab facility?"

Bella nodded and squeezed my hands. "Rehab, therapy, the whole shebang. I can't live my life like this anymore. I'm so tired of being like this. Empty."

"I'll support you. I'll help you. I'll love you," I said as I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "But you need to focus on you, first. I don't want you to jump back into this relationship now. You're not in the right place."

"I know," she said, her eyes becoming sad. Her brown pools filling with tears.

"But, I'll wait for you, Bella," I said fervently. "Forever if I have to."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," I answered. I pulled her into my lap. She nestled against my body and laced her fingers with mine. "Do you want to head back to my place?" She nodded and looked up at me. Her eyes were wary. "You can do this. You can do anything."

"Can you do something first?" she asked timidly.

"What?"

"Kiss me?" she asked.

I arched a brow and caressed her face. I leaned forward and stopped centimeters away from her mouth. I kept my eyes open, watching hers. She looked at me and there was terror there. I didn't want to cause that. I began to pull away, but Bella didn't want that. She placed her tiny hands on my face and brushed her lips against mine. My skin ignited with fire. The emptiness that I felt while I was separated from Bella was filled by that sweet, chaste kiss. Her hands tangled into my hair and she tried to deepen the kiss. However, it was too soon. I kissed her soft mouth, nibbling on her lower lip before I pulled away. "Slowly, love."

"Oops," she said, a blush covering her cheeks.

"Let's get you someplace safe and we'll talk more tomorrow," I conceded. "And get you fed."

"I am hungry. Mr. Foo's sounds really good," she said.

"Bring on the Foo," I said as I stood up, still holding Bella in my arms.

She giggled and looked at my happily. "I've missed you, Edward."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you, Bella," I said. "But you're first. After the Foo."

"After the Foo," she said. "Thank you for saving me."

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat," I smiled. "Get your Walmart clothes." I bent down slightly and she picked up the bag from the bed. I refused to let her go.

"I can walk, Edward. I'm not that weak," she chortled.

"Nope. I got you," I said as I opened the door. I carried her to the elevators and we rode down to the main level. Bella rested her head on my shoulder and I strode past Trent at the front desk. "She's checking out."

"We'll send you the bill, Mr. Cullen," Trent sneered.

"Right," I said as I carried her out the door into my car. Bella was snoring slightly and I placed her into my Volvo. I drove us back to my apartment and carried her back up to my place. I put her on my bed, covering her with the comforter.

"Stay," she said. Her eyes pleading with me. "Please?"

"I don't want to rush things, Bella," I whispered.

"I haven't really slept in nearly six weeks. Please?" she begged, her eyes filling with tears. I nodded and removed my jacket, tossing it on the couch. I grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I got on the bed, staying above the covers. Bella stared at me before putting her head on my shoulder. "Do you forgive me, Edward?"

"I understand your pain, Bella. I'm not going to lie. Your words hurt me. I forgive you, but please don't push me away like that again. I may not come back," I said.

"I promise. I won't. For the first time, I feel like I'm home," she whispered in the darkness.

_Home. A perfection description. _I smiled and kissed her temple, putting my arms around her. Bella's breathing evened out and she grew heavier on my shoulder. Her arms found their way around my waist and she snuggled against me. She was right. She was my _home._

**A/N: Bella was found. She had a bit of a bender. James is still out there and will get his punishment. I'm still plotting that out in my head. Edward found Bella and they will work together on her healing. But ultimately it's her who needs to do it. Leave me love…xoxox**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a sinus infection, huge horse pills for said sinus infection, and a shitload of Ricola cough drops (I hate being sick…meh)**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter 13: They Tried To Make Me Go to Rehab…**

I woke up early the next morning. Bella was wrapped in my arms, holding onto my waist with an iron grip. Her legs were tangled with mine. On her face was a tiny smile. I kissed her forehead and got out of the bed. When I left, her brows furrowed. "I'll be right back, love." She sighed and nestled back into the pillows. I swiped my phone from my pocket of my jacket and went into the bathroom. I dialed Emmett.

"Cullen, this better be good. It's six in the morning," Emmett grumbled.

"It is good. I found Bella," I whispered.

"You did? Is she okay?" Emmett asked.

"She's…a mess," I answered honestly. "I need to take today off and get her situated into an outpatient rehab facility."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you need to do," Emmett replied.

"Dude, she's worried about her job," I said as I drew my lip into my teeth. "Is she still…?"

"She's got a job, Edward," Emmett said. "As soon as she's ready, her station is there for her."

"Thanks, Em," I smiled. "I should be back tomorrow. But I'll let you know."

"Sure thing, Eddie. Give Bella my love," Emmett said. "I'm glad you found her."

"Me too. Oh, you can tell Alice, but Bella's not ready to see her," I said with a grimace. "You know how excitable the midget is."

"This is true. I'll let her know and hopefully she'll respect Bella's wishes."

"Thanks. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Eddie."

"Don't call me Eddie."

Emmett guffawed as I hung up the phone. I took a quick shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I padded through my apartment and went to my closet. I was about to drop my towel when a pair of warm hands wrapped around my waist and soft skin pressed to my back, kissing Leo's nose. Leo, my fucked up lion. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Bella answered as she giggled lightly.

"We need to take things slowly, Bella. Yesterday I found you in a seedy hotel about to off yourself," I said.

Bella huffed and released her arms from my body. _Great, I pissed her off. But she needs to worry about herself._ "You don't need to be a dick about it."

"I'm not being a dick. I'm just stating the facts," I said as I turned around, crossing my arms over my chest. "Bella, I've been where you are at. I've been at the lowest of the low. I'm a recovering addict. Like I said, I wanted so badly to do a line in your hotel room, but I wasn't about to blow a year of sobriety for that."

"I don't know much about all of this, but will you help me?" Bella asked in a meek voice, her hands wringing nervously. "Like be my sponsor or something?"

"I can't be your sponsor. I'm too attached to you. However, I will support you in every way possible," I said as I caressed her cheek. She leaned into my touch and sighed. "Why don't you shower, love? I'll get us some breakfast."

"Pop tarts?" Bella asked eagerly.

"Something better. Bananas Foster French Toast," I said. "The diner around the corners makes the best. You need to eat. We never got the Foo."

"I kind of crashed," Bella said. "I haven't been sleeping much. A few hours here and there. I'd have nightmares."

"You didn't have any last night," I said as I pulled on a pair of boxer briefs under my towel, tossing it into the hamper. Bella quickly turned her eyes away, running her hands through her hair. "You okay?"

"Fine," she said quietly. "Just jonesing, you know?"

"You used to use sex instead of drugs before, right?" I asked. "Whenever you needed a fix, you'd…"

"Yeah. That's why I was all cuddly and wanting…" she blushed. "And you are very attractive, Edward."

"Sure, Bella. You're the beauty in this relationship. I'll just be the brains for now," I chuckled.

"I'm not…"

"Stop. You are and that's that. The brain has spoken."

"Ass."

"We know this, Bella."

"Can I bum a cigarette?" Bella asked. I nodded and went into my jacket, pulling out my pack. "I assume you don't smoke in here."

"I usually crack the window," I said as I led her to my smoking corner. I pounded on the window frame and opened the window by the fire escape. She smiled and lit up the cigarette, sitting on the frame. "There's shampoo and soap in the shower. I left a towel on the toilet. I'm going to finish getting dressed, get breakfast and then we'll get you settled, okay?"

"Edward, I do need clothes. I sold most everything I had when I…you know," she said sadly.

"As much as it pains me to say this but we can go shopping. Pick some necessities up. I'm not talking an Alice-like shopping spree, but…"

"Um, that's great. However, with what money…?" Bella squeaked.

"Don't worry about it," I said as I caressed her cheek.

"Edward, you're broke."

"Well, that's changed," I said with an arched brow.

"What did a rich uncle die and leave you his millions?" Bella asked, rolling her eyes.

"Actually, my grandfather did," I replied.

"Holy fuck," she whispered.

"You're telling me. I woke up the morning that you left a poor, destitute musician and tattoo artist and by twelve in the afternoon had deposited a shitload of money into my bank account," I blushed.

"How much is a shitload? Never mind, I don't want to know…" Bella gaped. "Dude, you can so buy me a whole new wardrobe. Not that I want you to, but fuck me."

"Um, not yet, Bella," I chuckled. Bella gave me a pointed look. I grinned crookedly.

"Why in the hell are you still living here?" she asked.

"I was kind of worried about you," I answered dryly. "Moving into a mansion was not too high on my priority list. Though at some point I do need to check out the estate in Seattle and also in Chicago. But, I'll worry about that later. Food first."

"Food," she said.

"You shower and I'll get food," I smiled. "I'll be back in a little bit. Do you want anything else besides the French toast?"

"Eggs and sausage, please," Bella replied as she tossed the cigarette out the window.

"Got it," I grinned as I went to throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Bella was rooting around in her Wal-Mart bag, pulling out a pair of panties and fresh t-shirt. I pulled on a pair of socks and slid on my Chucks. Grabbing my keys and shades, I gave her a wave as I darted out the door with my wallet and cell phone in hand. I got into my car and filled up my gas tank before heading to Midnight Sun Diner. I placed my order with the haggard waitress and sat down at the counter, drinking a cup of coffee. My cell phone shrilled from the Formica and I looked at the caller ID. _Fuck. _"Hello, Alice."

"You found her and you didn't tell me? You are suck a fucking asshole, Edward," Alice ranted.

"Dude, relax. Bella is not ready for your excited, hyper midgetness," I said. "She's seriously fucked up."

"Don't call me 'Dude.'"

"Sorry…dude," I snickered.

"Ass."

"Alice, do I need to remind you about this…"

"How bad, Edward?" Alice asked.

I blew out a breath and ran my hand through my damp hair. "She's lost nearly twenty pounds. She was cutting herself when I found her. She removed her cast on her own. Easily, Bella had nearly $10,000 in drugs in her seedy hotel room. If not more. She sold her car. Most of her clothes. Anything of value to get her drugs. She was absolutely filthy when I found her. Like she hadn't bathed since you last saw her. It was the saddest thing I'd ever seen," I answered solemnly. "She looked so lost. So small. Her eyes held no life. When I gave her a bath, she just sat there. Barely even breathing. My heart was breaking, Alice. I mean, literally breaking."

"What are you doing now?"

"Right now, I'm getting her breakfast. She hasn't eaten much. Then we need to get her clothes," I said.

"Let me do that."

"Alice, she doesn't want to see you," I said. "Don't take it personally, but she's…"

"Does she hate me?"

"No, Alice. She's ashamed. She was not right frame of mind and she was ashamed. _Is ashamed_. Give her time," I said. The waitress came up and handed me my bags of food. I tossed some cash onto the counter and cradled the phone between my ear and shoulder. "I'm checking her into a rehab facility today. There's a good outpatient facility in Seattle called Legacy Clinical. Emmett wanted to take me there when I overdosed, but I was adamant on an in-house facility. I need the regimented atmosphere."

"Where will Bella stay?" Alice asked.

"I don't know. With me, perhaps?" I answered. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

"Ask Bella about the note. Okay, Edward?" Alice pleaded. "It really worried me. I really thought that she…you know."

"I will, Midget," I answered. "I'll call you soon."

"Okay. Love you, Whip."

"Love you, too, Midget." I closed my phone and put my food into the front seat. I eased into the car and drove back to my apartment. I gathered the food and went up the stairs. I knocked lightly before I unlocked the door. I didn't want to catch Bella in a compromising state of undress. I did see her naked yesterday, but still she was high as a kite and not really coherent. I peered into my apartment before I fully opened the door. "I'm back."

Bella was sitting on the couch, flipping through a few channels on the television. She looked back at me, giving me a tentative smile. "You look frazzled."

"Talking to your roommate will do that to you," I grimaced. I took the food out of the bags and carried it to the couch. I placed it on the cocktail table. Bella slid to the floor and opened up the to go container, groaning slightly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm starving but I'm afraid to eat," she said. "What did Alice say?" Bella poked at her breakfast and looked at me warily.

"She's worried about you, Bella," I said as I stuffed some food into my mouth. _God, Mana from heaven!_ "We all were. When we got that note, we had a heart attack."

"The note. I forgot about that," she mused as she pushed her food away.

"Bella, we'll talk about that later. Eat something. I'm can count your ribs through your shirt. Or rather my shirt. What happened to the t-shirt you pulled out from the bag?"

"I didn't like it. So, I swiped on of yours. Besides it smells like you," she said as she inhaled the shirt deeply.

"Um, weird?" I snorted. "Are you saying that I have BO?"

"What? No. You actually smell really good, Edward. Your body wash mixed with tobacco and mint. With a touch of whatever cologne you wear. Aqua di Gio, right?"

"Good memory," I chuckled. "Eat your food. What you can. Please?"

"You are a nag, Edward," Bella grumbled.

"I'm sorry. Skeletons weigh more than you," I said. "My right arm weighs more than you." _Smack! _"There's my girl."

"Ass…"

'So, I've been told." We ate in a comfortable silence. I scarfed down most of my breakfast. Bella picked at hers. She had eaten about a quarter of the French toast and a sausage link; she wrapped her arms around her belly. "Full?"

"Uncomfortably so," Bella grumbled.

"We'll save it for tomorrow," I said as I picked up her food, placing it into the fridge. Bella curled up on the sofa and looked at me, her eyes terrified. "What's wrong, love?"

"I'm scared."

"Of?"

"Rehab."

"Bella, I'm the most stubborn son of a bitch on the planet. If I can do it, so can you," I said as I put a hand on her knee.

"Where am I going?" Bella whispered.

"Well, we're getting you clothes first. You are quite sexy in my t-shirt, but I only have so many. Then, we're going to take you to an outpatient facility that is really good. Emmett was going to take me there when I was placed in rehab. But I wanted in-patient. It's Legacy Clinical. Located in Bellevue," I said. "Hmmmm…."

"Hmmmm, what?" Bella asked.

"Nothing. Just thinking." I got up and went into my safe that I had purchased after I received my inheritance. I unlocked it and pulled out the keys and security codes for my grandfather's Seattle estate. I slid the keys onto my keychain and walked back out into main room of the apartment. Bella was curled up on the couch, holding my pillow from the bed in her arms. She was sleeping. I knelt down in front of her and caressed her cheek. She sighed and smiled. "We're going to get you better, my Bella."

I let Bella sleep for a few hours before waking her to take her shopping. About halfway through her nap, she started having a nightmare. I gathered her in my arms and she immediately calmed. Trying to wake Bella was not as easy as calming her. She refused to stay awake. I realized that she was making up for lost time in the sleep category. However, we had a ton of stuff to attend to. Getting her new clothes, establishing her routine with the rehab facility and possibly checking out my grandfather's estate…or rather MY estate in Bellevue.

"Bella, stay up. I know you're tired, but we have to get you healthy."

"One more day, Edward," she grumbled.

"No. Now," I said as I scooped her up in my arms.

"WHIPPING BOY! PUT ME DOWN!" she shrieked.

"Nope. We're going," I said as I grabbed my keys and carried her down the stairs to my car. She pouted the entire way. It was actually kind of cute, like a spoiled toddler who didn't get their way. "Stop sulking."

"I'm not sulking."

"You are so sulking," I snorted as I walked around to the driver's side. I pulled away and we headed to the mall. We got Bella some clothes. Mainly jeans, t-shirts and utilitarian stuff. She was not worried about fashion. But she was worried about the amount of money I was spending. I rolled my eyes when I paid for her new _and small_ wardrobe. The only splurge she wanted to get was a new barbell for her tongue. I eagerly paid for that and she was happy after she put it in. It was an emerald green barbell. I arched my brow at that one. Before we left the store, she changed into a pair of jeans, tank top, hoodie and Chuck's. "Feel better wearing clothes?"

"Yes. I miss the feeling of denim," she giggled. "Thank you." Bella grabbed my hand and stopped us. She wrapped her arms around my waist and put her head on my chest, above my heart. "Thank you," she cried softly.

"You're welcome, Bella," I said as I put down her bags and returned her embrace. She sobbed quietly against my chest, soaking through my shirt. I let her cry. She needed support. She needed the embrace. Most importantly, she needed love and I was going to give that to her. She pulled away and wiped her cheeks. "Better?"

"No. But, not hysterical," she said. "I hate these fucking emotions. I'm all over the place."

"You're allowed, love," I said as I wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "Ready to go to Legacy?" Bella shook her head no. "I'm going to be right next to you. No one will hurt you."

"You can't promise that, Edward," she whispered. "Look what happened…"

"Bella," I said as I pulled back into my arms. My guilt consumed me. I had gotten drunk while she was getting raped and I wanted to punish myself for allowing that. "I won't let anything happen to you. Please believe me." Bella nodded and held on to me for dear life. "Come on, love." I released her and picked up the bags with one hand and snaked my arms around her tiny waist with the other. She clung to me like I was the last person on the planet. Her breaths were coming quickly and she was on the verge of hysteria. We got to the car. I put the bags into the trunk and sat Bella down in the passenger seat. I crouched in front of her. I held her small face in my hands and gently caressed her cheeks. Her eyes were distant and her breathing was not slowing. "Bella, you need to calm down."

"Can't calm down," she squeaked out. "James will get me."

"No, he won't." _I'll kill him with my bare hands and cut up the pieces. _"He will never touch you. He'll have to get through me, Jasper, Emmett, and Alice."

"Alice?"

"She said that she'd hit him in the head with her stilettos, or something," I said with a wave of the hand. "Jasper will bore him to death with a history lecture. Emmett and I will just beat the ever-living shit out of him."

"Can I get in on the action?"

"What do you want to do?" I asked as I pushed her hair back.

"Ice pick in the ass, to recreate my injuries that he did to me," Bella said darkly.

"I'll sit on him so he doesn't move, love. We'll make him pay," I said with an evil grin.

"We're so sick, Edward."

"No. We're just pissed. Better?"

"A little," she said as her eyes flickered to mine. They registered with some life, but they were still glazed over. "I am really wanting…"

"I know. I can feel you tremble," I said. I wrapped my hands around hers. "Let's go to Legacy."

Bella turned into the car and I shut the door. I blew out a breath and lit a cigarette. I got into the driver's seat, the cigarette hanging out of my lips. Bella swiped it from me and smirked. "That was mine, woman."

"You have an entire pack in your pocket, Whip," she said as she blew the smoke out the window. I growled and lit another cigarette before I pulled out of the parking lot. About twenty-five minutes and four cigarettes later, we arrived at Legacy Clinical. Bella was nibbling on her lip, missing her lip ring. I got out and walked over to the door. I opened it and laced my fingers with hers. "I can't do this."

"Yes. You can." I helped her stand up and closed the door. I wanted to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. However, she needed to do this herself. She looked at the non-descript building skeptically. Her hand was still twined with mine. Bella took a deep breath and stood a bit straighter. She released my hand and walked confidently to the building. _There's my girl._ I followed her and we entered the reception. Bella introduced herself and explained what she wanted. The receptionist congratulated on her decision and handed her stack of papers along with a pen. We sat down and Bella began filling out the paperwork. I noticed as she was writing that her hand was bothering her. "You okay?"

"My wrist still hurts," she said as she rubbed it. "I removed the cast and I don't think it healed properly."

"Need help?"

"No. The rest is checking off information. I can handle that," she said as she turned back to the paperwork. "Though, I do have a question. Payment?"

"Courtesy of Edward Masen. My grandfather," I said. "He was the only who saw me for me and he would not oppose my decision in helping you, love. My father, he would oppose, yes, but he's an asshole."

"Father?"

"He was your doctor in the ER when you were brought in," I said.

"No wonder he looked so familiar. I thought you were my doctor only you had dyed your hair blond, which would seriously be fucked up. You have gorgeous hair," Bella rambled.

"Random…"I snickered. "I look NOTHING like Carlisle. Maybe the nose, but that's about it."

"You have his jaw line, too," Bella said as she signed her name. "And his build, but you have more muscles."

"And you noticed this when? You were unconscious," I said, arching my brow.

"He checked on me after I was uber-bitch. I was so doped up on drugs, I thought you had returned. I was ready to apologize, but it wasn't you."

"What did Carlisle say?" I asked, trying to feel out his reaction to all of this.

"He asked me how I was doing and what our relationship was," Bella whispered. "I didn't respond. Just stared blankly out the window. He probably assumed I was too traumatized to respond and left after a few minutes. I never saw him again."

_Typical Carlisle. He never cared much for dramatics. HE'S the ass. Not me. _

Bella got up and shakily walked to the receptionist with her papers. The receptionist handed her a cup and directed her to the bathroom. Bella looked at me warily. The receptionist said it was standard procedure to check for any latent drugs in the system. She also explained that she was also checking for pregnancy and STDs. The cup clattered to the floor as Bella began hyperventilating. I shot up and wrapped my arms around her. The receptionist, Lauren, looked at me with a wild look in her eyes. "What's wrong with her?"

"She can't be pregnant," I hissed. "She was attacked. The attack was so brutal that the doctor's performed a hysterectomy. Where's a room? I need to calm her down."

"This way," Lauren mumbled as she led us to a small consultation room. I scooped Bella up and carried her into the small white chamber. I held her in arms, rubbing circles on her back. Her breathing was not slowing. It was actually increasing. Lauren had left us in the room.

"Bella, she didn't know," I whispered.

"Such a fuck up. Ruined. Broken."

"No, love. You're not ruined."

"I can't have babies," she sobbed. "No pregnancy. I may not have been ready earlier, but what if I wanted them in the future. If I get married…I can't give…"

"Bella, your husband," I whispered, _hopefully me,_ "will love you and support you. Flaws and all. There are babies who are born into families that can't support them. Can't love them. You can adopt."

"No. I did that once. Why would they give me a baby when I gave one up eight years ago," she said as she twisted in my arms. "I'm so fucking ruined."

Lauren came in with a male doctor. Bella shrieked and cowered in my arms. "Bella," I whispered in her ear.

"He's going to hurt me. Help me, Edward," she moaned.

"Bella is it?" the doctor asked softly. "I'm Dr. Meyers. I'm the head psychiatrist here at Legacy Clinical."

"Leave me alone. Edward, take me home, please," she begged.

Dr. Meyers looked at me and shook his head. My body was ready to take her and run. My mind was in agreement. However, this was not Bella. She was not thinking rationally. "Bella, listen to Dr. Meyers. If you don't like what he has to say, then we'll go. Please, love?"

Bella looked up at me and her cinnamon eyes were filled with despair, anguish and pure, unadulterated terror.

"Can we have a female doctor, please? Nothing against you, Dr. Meyers, but…"

"No, I understand. I'll get Dr. Greene. She's my second in command," Dr. Meyers said quietly. He turned and left the room. Bella burrowed deeper into my chest, clawing at my neck. Her sobs were gut wrenching and I felt for her. I think a few tears escaped my eyes as well.

An older woman, about my mom's age came in. Her eyes were a sapphire blue and her hair was gray and styled elegantly. "Isabella? I'm Dr. Greene. Who's holding you, sweetheart? Your boyfriend?"

Bella nodded and clung to me tighter. I looked at Dr. Greene and introduced myself. "I'm Edward Cullen. Um, do you want me to tell Dr. Greene about what happened to you?" Bella nodded again.

"Only the basics, Mr. Cullen," Dr. Greene said.

"Six weeks ago, approximately, Bella was raped. Her attack was quite extensive. He penetrated her body with a sharp object or a knife and caused internal bleeding. She was forced to have a hysterectomy. After the attack…"

"That's enough, Mr. Cullen. Bella?" Dr. Greene asked. Bella pulled away and stared at Dr. Green warily. At least she had stopped sobbing. "I want to help you. Can we go to my office and talk?"

"I want Edward to come," Bella whimpered.

"It has to be you, Bella," I said quietly. "I'll support you but you ultimately need to go through your therapy yourself. Please, love?"

"But…?"

"He's right, Bella. Do you have a degree in psychology?" Dr. Greene asked.

"No. I only went through this about a year ago," I said as I shifted in the seat. "Rehab, that is."

"Ah," Dr. Greene said. "Bella, your recovery from your wounds and from your drug addiction is solely on you. Edward can't do this for you. I can't do this for you. Only YOU can do it."

Bella slumped in my lap. She was so defeated. "I don't know if I can," she muttered.

"You took the first step. You came here. You should be so proud of yourself, Bella," Dr. Greene said with a smile. "Edward will be here when you come out. Right?"

"I'm not going anywhere, love," I said as I kissed her forehead.

"Promise?"

"I promise," I said as I squeezed her hip. Bella turned to me and kissed me fiercely. It was scary the passion in the kiss. It took me awhile to register what was happening. After a few moments, Bella pulled away and went with Dr. Greene. Once the door closed, I sat back in the chair. _My poor Bella. My broken, beautiful angel._

I stood up and walked back into the reception area. I went over to Lauren's station. Her white blonde hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. She looked at me and licked her lips. "I'm sorry about your sister."

"She's not my sister," I said curtly. "For the payment, I will be handling it all. My girlfriend doesn't need to be worried about the bills."

"This address?" Lauren asked, her posture slumping. She pointed to the paperwork that Bella had filled out. It was my address and I nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

"If things don't work out with your girlfriend…"

"I'm turning gay," I answered. "Not interested."

I huffed and went to the waiting room. I picked up a magazine and flipped through the pages with a bit of anger. I felt Lauren's leering stare at me. I scowled and adopted my asshole persona.

_Super Dick to save the day. I should have t-shirts and capes made. _

I sat in the waiting area for a little over an hour and half before I heard Dr. Greene's voice echo through the halls. I stood up and looked around expectantly. Bella and Dr. Greene were walking slowly through the waiting area. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella. Nine in the morning?"

"Yes. Dr. Greene," she said. In her had was a small bag and she clutched it to her chest. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"No need to apologize, Bella. You are reeling from an unseemly and vicious attack. We will work on coping mechanisms if such an incident occurs. Don't forget about your homework," Dr. Greene said.

"I won't." Bella gave Dr. Greene a tiny smile and looked up at me. Her eyes were dazed but she appeared calm. My brows pulled together. "Dr. Greene gave me some anti-anxiety medication. I had another panic attack in her office. I'm a little loopy."

I shot a glare at Dr. Greene. She held up her hands, "It will need to be monitored, but it was necessary. She has three pills in her bag and they need to last for the next week."

"What else?"

"I really can't divulge that information."

"Edward is the closest and only thing I have to a family, Dr. Greene. You can tell him."

"Well, let's step into the consultation room and I'll fill you in on what I have prescribed for Bella," Dr. Greene said warmly. We went into another room adjacent to the room that I carried Bella into after her first attack. Dr. Greene explained the medications. There were three. One was to help reduce the cravings for the drugs. I remembered that one. I hated it. I'd rather have the shakes. The second drug was an anti-depressant. The final drug was the anti-anxiety medication. Only to be taken in extreme circumstances. She also explained that Bella's rehab will begin at nine and go until five. I nodded and would arrange to drive her or get a ride for her as she sold her car.

I noticed that Bella was leaning against me and nodding off as Dr. Greene and I spoke. I thanked her and picked Bella up, carrying her out into the car. I took her bag and put in the backseat. I jogged to the driver's side and drove us back to my apartment. Bella was still sleeping when we returned. I picked her up, carrying her into my apartment. I gently laid her on the bed and darted to get her clothes and medication. When I came back into the apartment, Bella was curled around my pillow. "I love you, Edward," she mumbled in her sleep.

"I know, Bella. I love you. More than you can imagine. But we need to get you better," I said as I sat next to her. "We will get you better."

Bella sighed and replied, "Okay."

**A/N: Hmmm…wasn't too thrilled with this chapter. It took me a few days to get it to not suck. Anyhow, I'm not a doctor or don't pretend to be. Nor am I a recovering addict. Though I am addicted to Twilight and Robert Pattinson, but I don't think that there's a twelve step program for that…I digress. This is a work of fiction and I may not get things right. So, if there is something blatantly wrong, send me a PM or leave a review. However, if you love what I write, leave me a review or recommend it or pimp it out…I'm not afraid to beg. xoxox**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a lot of plastic storage containers, 875 mg Amoxicillin, and half tank of gas**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter 14: …And I Said No, No, No. But I Went Anyway**

I drove us back to my apartment. Bella was still zonked out in the front seat. Once there, I picked her up and carried her to my place, depositing her on the couch. I put her bag of meds on the counter and went back downstairs to get her clothes. I was gone for no more than a minute or two. I heard a blood curdling scream from my apartment. I raced up into my home and found Bella in a fetal position on the couch, clawing at the leather.

"Bella! Bella, love! Wake up," I called as I caressed her cheeks. Her eyes shot open and she growled at me, shoving me away.

She got up from the couch and started to stumble to the door. I followed her and held to my chest. "Let me go," Bella spat. She wiggled and squirmed, trying to break free from grip. "You left me. You lied."

"Bella, I had to get your clothes," I said in her ear. "I'm not leaving you. You're stuck with me."

"No. Leave me alone, Whipping Boy," she growled as she began her squirming anew. Her fingernails were digging into my skin, breaking it.

"This isn't you, Isabella," I snarled. "I'm not letting you go. Do you want to get better? Do you want to be clean?"

She slumped and stopped fighting me. She nodded minutely.

"Say it, Bella. Do you want to be clean? No more drugs?"

"Yes, Edward," she whispered.

"I don't believe you," I whispered in her ear. "Make me believe you."

"Yes, Edward," she said as she stood up straighter in my arms. "I have to get clean. No more drugs."

"Good," I said as I slowly released my hold around her tiny frame. "Sorry, I was holding you so tightly."

"It felt nice. Weird as that sounds," Bella chuckled as she turned. She put her hands on my chest, looking up at me. "I'm sorry that I'm…"

"Bella, I'm not going to lie. It'll probably get worse before it gets better," I said as I wrinkled my nose. "I pushed everyone away when I was in rehab. Emmett, my therapists, my few friends that I did have in the center. I was horrible. But, they still fought for me. Still pushed me. It was because of their support that I managed to get clean and stay clean. I'd feel like I'd disappoint them if I didn't. You're probably going to hate me and take it out on me. But you need to know that the harshest of words will not push me away. Like I said, you're stuck with me. I'm in this for the long haul. So are Alice, Emmett, Jasper and everyone else from the shop. We're your family. We love you. Some of us more than others, but we love you."

"Family. You're my family," Bella said quietly, a soft smile playing on her features. "I've never really had a family."

"I know, love. But now you do," I said as I tucked a hair behind her ear. "Just do me one favor, though. When you attack me, promise me you won't pull out any piercings. I'm such a pussy with getting things pierced." _SMACK! "_There's my girl."

"Ass. But I love you."

"I know. You only smack the ones you love," I teased. Bella put her head on my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist, chuckling. "I love you, too, Bella. You're going to get through this."

"Are you okay with what Dr. Greene said? You being my boyfriend?" Bella murmured.

"I'm cool with it. But we're going to take things extraordinarily slowly. Being in a relationship while going through rehab is not easy," I said. "Like I said, you're going to push me away. I know what you're going through, but I'll probably react to it. Deep down you will know that I do love you and I'd do anything for you. Except get you drugs."

"That's a good thing," Bella sighed. "Because I don't want drugs anymore. I want to be happy and clean."

"And you will. Come on, you need to eat, Bella," I said as I led her to the kitchen. "Do you want your breakfast leftovers or some of my delicious cooking?"

"You can cook?"

"Not really," I snickered. "I can reheat frozen pizza and make a mean serving of mac and cheese."

"Healthy, Whip," Bella said dryly. "I'm surprised you still have muscles."

"It's the cigarettes," I smiled. "I do eat healthy while I'm at the shop. Speaking of which, I'll be dropping you off at Legacy for the day and going to work while you get your head shrunk."

"I know," Bella said as she rubbed a smudge on my kitchen counter. "I wish I could take myself."

"Well, you'll have to deal with the Cullen Taxi Service," I smirked. "So dinner?"

"Foo," Bella replied. "And I promise you that I won't freak out when you leave." I nodded and picked up my cell phone. I ordered some food from Mr. Foo's. Bella curled up on the couch, clutching a pillow. I turned on the television and we watched a movie until I had to drive out and get the food. Bella freaked out slightly when I left, but I promised that I would be back. A half hour later, I returned with the food. We ate a quiet dinner and then finished watching the movie we began prior to dinner. Bella was laying in my arms and I felt her get heavier on my chest. Her breathing evened out. I looked at her she was asleep. I kissed her forehead and picked her gently. I carried her to my bed and laid her down, removing her hoodie and shoes.

I went to my window and cracked it, smoking a cigarette before I got ready for bed. This was not going to be easy. Bella was in for a rough road. But she wanted to do it. She needed to do it. And I would be there every step of the way.

xx EC: AWIP xx

Waking up with Bella the next morning was…interesting. She had her head on my chest, drooling profusely. I chuckled at that. I had to shower regardless. But when I tried to rouse her, she had a mini-tantrum. Kicking, pouting and pushing. The tantrum stopped when I picked her up and plopped her in the cold shower. She shrieked and scowled at me. She called me evil. _Right…_

I darted out of the bathroom and grabbed some clothes for her. I deposited them on the toilet and reheated her breakfast from the day before. Bella came out in the clothes I left for her, along with a scowl. "Morning sunshine."

"Fuck you, Whip."

"You're awfully chipper this morning," I teased, ignoring her comment.

"I was dumped into a cold shower with my clothes on. Pay back is a bitch, Cullen," Bella said as she arched her brow, pointing at me.

"Are you going to try and carry me to the shower? I'd love to see you try, Bella," I snickered.

"I may pierce your peen in your sleep," she threatened. I gulped and paled. "Ha! Scared ya, didn't I?"

"Do not touch the peen, Bella. No piercings in the peen," I squeaked. "Nipples, tongue, brows, ears…all cool. Edward Jr. no way. Nuh uh." I shook my head fiercely.

"Big, bad, tattoo man is afraid of getting his peen pierced," Bella laughed.

"Do you have your clit pierced?" I asked, arching my brow.

"I did. Prior to my…attack," Bella said. "I need Angela to redo it for me. Or, you could trained and you can do it for me."

"Um," I gulped and paled again.

"You tattooed me," Bella smirked. "Best tattoo I have."

"Thanks, but I don't want to injure you."

"You won't. I'd rather you do it. I trust you, Edward," Bella said as she walked toward me, putting her hand on my arm. "Please?"

"How long does it take to get certified in piercing?" I asked.

"For ears, you just need to watch a video and take a test. Other stuff, you need to be apprenticed again. Rose and Angela are experienced in that. But, I'd suggest working with Rose. Angela can be a little lax in her approach," Bella said thoughtfully. She then stood on her tip toes, whispering in my ear. "And before you pierce my clit, you're going to go down on me."

I looked down at her. Her eyes were feral and she was biting her lip. "Bella…"

"You have a few months before you can do it. Besides, I don't think I could handle anyone touching me down there until then. But, when I'm ready, I want you to make love to me. Not fucking. Not having sex. Making love. Can you do that for me?"

"When you're ready," I smiled crookedly. "Breakfast is served, Bella. I'm going to shower to wash off the drool from my chest."

"Sorry," Bella blushed.

"I'd rather have you drool on my chest than lose you," I said. "Enjoy breakfast, love." She kissed my cheek and I went to shower. I hosed off and washed my hair. I decided to shave the scruff from my face. I finished my grooming and went to get dressed. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a black button up shirt with some tribal detailing on it. A gift from Alice. I sprayed on some cologne after I put on some deodorant and checked on Bella. She was snoozing on the couch. I crouched down and gently caressed her cheek. "Bella, wake up."

"Don't wanna," she mumbled sleepily. "So tired."

"I know. But you start treatment today," I said. "We need to drive to Legacy and I have to open up Dreamstyle."

Bella blinked and sat up, stretching her body. She swiped a cigarette and lit it up. She strolled to the smoking corner of my apartment. I joined her. "Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I stay here with you until I'm more comfortable?" Bella asked. "If you don't want to share a bed, I can sleep on the couch."

"Bella, my shithole apartment is your shithole apartment," I said as I hugged her. "If you are up for it, I would like to check out my grandfather's estate. It's near Legacy."

"Estate?"

"My grandfather had two homes. One in Chicago and the other here in Seattle. Bellevue, specifically. I'd like to take you there, if that's alright?"

"Let's see how today goes, but okay," Bella said as she ran her fingers through my hair. "You are shaggy, Edward."

"My hair grows like a weed. I should just shave it off," I shrugged.

"You do that and I will pierce the peen," Bella said as she smacked my chest.

"You just want to see my cock again," I smirked.

"You do have a nice cock, Edward," Bella said with a seductive grin.

"Let's go, Bella," I squeaked as I grabbed her hand. She rolled her eyes and laughed. I adjusted my boner and grabbed my jacket. Bella kept her fingers twined with mine as I drove her to the clinic. As we got closer, her hand squeezed mine tightly. "You can do this, love."

"I can do this," she murmured. She closed her eyes and gave me a smile. "For me. For us. For the future."

I parked the car. Bella got out of the car when we arrived, fussing with her clothes nervously. I stood next to her and waited for her to grab my hand. She gave me a confident smile, lacing her fingers with mine and walking up to the entrance to Legacy. Lauren gave her a tight smile, pointing her down the hallway. Bella turned to me. She opened her mouth to say something. But she threw her arms around my neck. I held her tightly. "You can do this, love." I kissed her neck and pulled away. Her cinnamon eyes were filled with tears and terror. I cupped her face, leaning my forehead against hers. "You can do this, Bella."

"I hope so, Edward," she whispered. "Tell me that you love me. Please?"

"I love you, Bella."

"Thank you, Edward," she murmured. She leaned up and kissed my lips chastely and headed down the room that Lauren pointed out.

"You can do better than her," Lauren sneered.

"You look like a dead fish," I retorted. Lauren scoffed and gave me a nasty look. I gave her a parting scowl and went down to my car. I blew out a breath and drove to Dreamstyle, parking in the rear. I unlocked the shop and punched in the code. I went about the opening procedures, shutting off the voicemail and cleaning around the main parlor. A half hour after I opened, Rose strolled in.

"Hey, Whip," Rose said as she plopped her stuff down by her station. "Where were you yesterday?"

"I found Bella."

"You did? How is she?" Rose asked.

"In rehab. We set her up at a rehab facility yesterday. It's an outpatient clinic in Bellevue."

"I know that Bella and I didn't get along, but if she needs to talk to someone. A woman. I'm willing," Rose said as she squeezed my shoulder. "Where was she?"

"Some seedy hotel in Seattle. Rose, I've never seen anything so pitiful. But, I had to help her. I needed to help her," I said as gazed off into space. "Oh, speaking of help. I need yours."

"Shoot."

"I want to expand my talents," I said.

"I'm not helping you in the sack, Edward," Rose said dryly.

"Funny, Rosalie. I'm good in that regard. I'm talking about piercing. Can you apprentice me in piercing?" I asked.

"Sure, Whip. You'll be piercing titties and pussies in no time," Rose giggled.

"Oh, joy. Maybe I'll go to college instead," I snickered.

"Why didn't you? You seem really smart, Edward," Rose said as she set up her station. "I mean freaky smart."

"I got a full ride to Dartmouth, but I didn't want to go. Especially for the major that my _father_ wanted me to do. Pre-med. I wanted to be a musician," I shrugged.

"You are wicked talented, Edward. That song you played the night that…"

"I wrote it," I murmured. "For Bella. I hadn't played a piano in nearly ten years prior to writing her lullaby."

"You wrote that? Holy fuck, Edward. You should go to school and become famous or some shit like that," Rose said.

"Well, I've been given a second chance, Rosalie. My grandfather, the only man who supported and loved me, left me his entire inheritance. I'm thinking of going to school. But majoring in psychology, specializing in drug addiction. It hits close to home and I do have a knack for it," I said, running my barbell along my teeth. "I don't know."

"You'd definitely connect with your clients with the tattoos and piercings," Rose snickered.

"Shut it. I'd take out the visible ones if I ever do it. I can clean up nice," I snorted.

Rose smiled and we finished opening up the shop. A few clients had appointments and we worked in silence, listening to the hard rock station we had pumping through the shop. Around two, Emmett came in and asked for a Bella update. I gave him an abbreviated version, but pretty confirming that she was fucked up but willing to go through rehab. Alice came in around four with a bag of clothes for Bella, along with some other necessities that she might need.

At five, I cleaned up my station and headed out to Bellevue to pick up Bella from Legacy. I parked the car and walked into the clinic. Another woman was at the front desk. "Hi, I'm here to pick up my girlfriend. Bella Swan?"

"She's still in session. She'll be out in a little bit. Have a seat in the waiting area," she said kindly.

"Thank you," I smiled as I sat down. I flipped through a new magazine and waited for Bella to come out. A few moments later, Bella walked out and she was holding a file folder. She was speaking with Dr. Greene, but she was smiling. Dr. Greene caught my eyes and she gestured for me to come over to them. "Hi, Dr. Greene."

"Hello, Edward. I was wondering if I could speak with you. About your lovely girlfriend," Dr. Greene said kindly. "Is that alright, Bella?"

"Yes, Dr. Greene. Edward is my family and I want my family to be aware of my decisions," Bella said as she slipped her hand into mine.

"Okay," I said. Bella kissed my cheek and went to sit in the waiting area. Dr. Greene led me to the small conference room from yesterday. We sat down. "What's up?"

"Bella is going to continue treatment here, which is fantastic. However, she's going to do it without 'help.' Meaning without antidepressants and what not. I know she's living with you currently and I'm going to warn you. It's not going to be easy."

"I know, Dr. Greene. I was in her shoes last year. But I did a residential treatment facility," I said. "I was horrible. But I didn't have to contend with the physical trauma that she went through."

"You know as well as I, that the more painful the recovery is from addiction, the less likely you'll relapse. Do you want to go through what you did a year ago? The shakes? The sickness? The constant need for drugs?"

"Fuck no…" I spat. I looked up at Dr. Greene and she was glaring at me. "Sorry, Dr. Greene. I have a bit of a mouth."

"I can see that, Mr. Cullen. But I won't fault you. I've heard worse," she snickered. "When you get back to your apartment, make Bella throw away the medications I prescribed. She'll fight you…"

"I found her and I made her throw out her stash," I said.

"I know. She told me. You'd be a good addiction counselor, Edward," Dr. Greene said. "Perhaps you can come in at speak to the residents. You're a success story. You battled your addiction and you're winning."

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

"Of course, Edward."

"Thanks, Dr. Greene. Is there anything else?"

"No. Bella needs to be back by 9 tomorrow. Have a good night."

"You too," I smiled as I got up. I went to the waiting area and met up with Bella. "How are you, love?"

"Tired, but fine. I do want to see this estate, though."

"I've never seen it. I didn't even know it existed until my mother's attorney handed me the keys," I grumbled. "You sure?"

"Absolutely. Perhaps we can get out of the shithole apartment," Bella giggled.

"Tempting," I said dryly. We headed out to the car and I handed her the directions that I printed out from Dreamstyle. We drove in silence, save for the occasional direction that Bella gave me. We went into a posh neighborhood filled with massive homes and mansions. "Fuck me and the horse I came in on."

"Tell me about it," Bella whispered. "How rich was your grandfather?"

"I didn't think this rich," I snickered. "What's the house number?"

"1553," Bella replied as she read my scribbling on the paper. "Jeez, Cullen. Did you write with your left hand or something?"

"Shut it. I was talking on the phone, dealing with a client and trying to get Emmett the most recent schedule. I need a vacation," I grumbled. "Here we are." I turned into the driveway, punching in the numbers into the security system. The gate in front of the house creaked open and I pulled in.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"This isn't a house."

"I know."

"It's the Taj Mahal or something," Bella whispered.

"Yep." I parked the car and got out, walking to Bella's door. I assisted her out of the car and we walked to the front door. I unlocked it and punched in the security code in the keypad by the door. The house had a mild musty smell, but was absolutely gorgeous. I looked in the huge foyer and I felt my heart race. _Calm down, Cullen. Don't have another heart attack with Bella standing next to you._ I moved into the house and sat down on the steps. "I can't breathe."

Bella knelt down in front of me. "Edward, look at me," she said. I buried my head in my hands, shaking my head. "Edward. You were strong for me. Now it's my turn. Look at me. Deep breaths, Edward."

"This is not me. I can't do this," I whispered, staring at the parquet flooring. Bella's tiny hands captured my face, forcing me to look at her.

"Why can't you do this?"

"I'm not worthy of this. I'm just a fuck up," I said, searching her cinnamon eyes.

"No, you're not, Edward. You are a fucking saint. An angel. You should be canonized with having to deal with my bitchiness," Bella snickered. "You are not a fuck up. This," Bella gestured to the house, "is a gift. It sucks that your grandfather died, but he loved you so much that he left you this. All of this. I'm a teensy bit jealous."

"You want it? You can have it," I said. I thrust the key into her hands. "I'll take my shithole apartment."

"Edward, I don't want your house," Bella said as she stood up. "Let's explore. Maybe I can see some adorable naked baby pictures of you."

"Ugh, I hope not," I grumbled as I stood up. "I was not an attractive child."

"I find that hard to believe," Bella said. We walked into the living room. The furniture was covered with sheets. Bella lifted the sheets off the couches and I got the other things. The décor was neutral and light. Similar to the decorations in my mom's house. There were pictures scattered all around from my childhood and of Esme. Carlisle was notably missing from the pictures in the living room. "Apparently your grandfather didn't care for your dad."

"Not really. They were cordial, but that was about it," I shrugged. "However, Esme was his world and if Carlisle made her happy, he supported it." Bella nodded and twined her fingers with mine. We turned on lights and removed sheets as we moved around in the house. Once we got to the rear of the home, behind the family room, I fell in love. There was a complete music room. It had a grand piano, expensive sound system, several guitars and all my pictures from my recitals. "Oh my god."

"Wow," Bella breathed. She went to the wall where the pictures were located. She ran her fingers across a picture from when I was thirteen. It was of me, Esme and Grandfather Edward. "You look like him. You have his eyes. And he was so proud of you, Edward."

"I feel like I let him down," I muttered as I sat down at the piano. I lifted the lid and ran my fingers over the keys. "Ugh, so out of tune."

"Play something for me. I don't care if it's out of tune," Bella said as she sat down next to me.

"What do you want to hear?"

"Can you play my song?" she said, a few tears falling down her cheeks. "I want to hear it. Please?"

"Of course, love," I said as I kissed her temple. I placed my hands on the keys and began playing her song. Her lullaby. Bella placed her head on my shoulder and I could feel her tears through my shirt. I finished the song, grimacing at how horrible it sounded on the out-of-tune piano, but happy that Bella didn't run.

"Do you believe in miracles, Edward?" Bella whispered.

"Yes," I answered as I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist. "I never used to, but my thoughts have changed."

"You're my miracle, Edward. I pushed you away in every way possible and yet you're still here. You saved me," Bella said. "The next few months are going to be rough. I know that. But, with you by my side, I can do it. I will do it."

"I know, love. In a way, you've saved me too," I said as I caressed her cheek. "I went through the motions of life. Never enjoying it. Then I started working at Dreamstyle and was paired with a hellcat."

"Who was that?" Bella joked.

"Funny, Swan. But, having you be my mentor pushed me and I've grown as an artist, a musician and as a man. I will be with you, Bella. Every step of the way. But the threat about the piercings still holds true," I said, arching my pierced brow.

_Smack!_

"Edward, you are a good man. An asshole, but your heart is good. Thank you for saving me," Bella said with a smile.

"You won't be thanking me when you're puking, but you're welcome," I snickered.

"Ugh, I know. I spent half of the morning in the toilet."

"You'll do it, Bella. You're too stubborn not to," I said.

Bella looked at me and ran her fingers through my hair. "I know I will." She leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. She pulled away and put her head on my shoulder. "Now, about the house…?"

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I was struggling with some things in the last chapter and I wanted to get this just right. I had some assistance from my readers. Bluecanoe, thank you for your PM and review about substance abuse. It helped a lot when I was writing this chapter. I hope to have the next update up sometime later next week. I'm moving and won't have internet access for a couple of days. I'll be jonesing for a fix once I'm set and ready to go. Leave me love! MUAH!**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a pretty new apartment, Yankee Candle tarts, and a lot of EMPTY plastic containers**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Fifteen: Healing**

After turning all of the lights off in my grandfather's home, Bella and I drove back to my shithole apartment. I picked up some pizza and we ate it in relative silence. About a half hour after we ate, Bella ran to the bathroom and puked most of it up. She was miserable. She cried. She screamed.

We got no sleep that night.

It sucked.

When I dropped her off at Legacy, she was a bowlful of sunshine. _Yeah, not so much. _

When I got to Dreamstyle, I was a fucking zombie. I think I even fell asleep with my eyes open.

The next month was spent with minimal sleep and crankiness. Both Bella and I were at each other's throats. But I had to be strong for her. I couldn't walk away from her. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had to be her rock. She was too fragile for me not to be. However, she was making progress. Slowly. She was painfully thin, but getting mentally stronger every day.

I was nearly done with my piercing apprenticeship with Rose. She said that I was a quick study. She sent in my paperwork and I went to the same testing site to take the safety exam for piercing. I passed with flying colors. As a congratulations, Rose had me pierce her left tit. Yeah, that was weird. Touching Rose's boob while I pierced her nipple. Rose was much more well endowed than Bella and I was struggling with seeing her topless.

Word had spread that I was doing piercings. Jessica made an appointment with me to do her clit. I wrinkled my nose at the prospect of that. _What if she's hairy and smells? Ewwwwwww!_ When she came in, I led her to the partitioned area of the shop. Jessica dropped her pants and underwear, sitting on the bench spreading her cooch for me. Thankfully she was completely bare. _Saves me the trauma of shaving her cooter._ I gave her a tight smile before readied her for her piercing. The sounds that Jessica made while I was piercing her were downright pornographic. And she was getting turned on. The sad thing was, they didn't do anything for me. I was as limp as a wet noodle. I finished her piercing and let her get dressed. I totaled her out and she paid me, giving me a tip along with her phone number. Which I threw out.

A few more weeks later, Bella decided to try and come to the shop. She was hesitant with her disappearing act. Dr. Greene told her to not come in on Friday and she could go to Dreamstyle. I took the day off when she decided to go, that way I could drive her back to the apartment if she couldn't handle it.

The morning dawned and I woke up to an empty bed. I looked around and saw Bella smoking like a chimney in the corner. She was huddled up in a small ball. I could see the tears falling down her face. "Bella? Love?"

"Go back to sleep, Edward," she whispered brokenly.

"No. What's wrong?" I asked as I padded to the corner. Bella handed me her cigarette and lit another one. I inhaled, letting the nicotine fill my lungs. "Talk to me, love."

"I'm afraid, Whip," Bella whispered as she drew in a shaky draw of her cigarette. "I haven't been back to Dreamstyle for nearly three months. What if everyone hates me?"

"Bella, no one will hate you. They've been incredibly worried," I said as took her hands in mine. "But they understand that you need your space."

"But, my job…"

"Is still there," I explained. "Emmett made sure of it. But I'm thinking this is more than just your fear of your job."

"I've been having horrible flashbacks, Edward. Of that night…"

"Oh, love," I said as threw the cigarette out the window. I gathered Bella in my arms and she just fell apart.

"I keep seeing _him. _Hurting me. Raping me. Ruining everything," Bella sobbed as she clutched at my shirt. "He took away my life, Edward. Everything. I'm nothing because of his actions."

"Bella, you are not 'nothing.'"

"I am!"

I pulled away and cupped her cheeks. "You're not. James is a sadistic fuck who deserves to be killed for what he did to you. And if I see him, I'd be hard pressed to not murder the bastard."

"Edward, no! I can't lose you," Bella screamed as she threw her arms around my neck, squeezing tightly. "No. No! No! No! No!"

"Love, I'm not going anywhere," I soothed as I ran my hands up and down her back. "I'm here, Bella." She sobbed, clawing at my hair. I just held her as she cried. I don't know how long we were in our frantic embrace, but Bella eventually calmed down. She pulled away and wiped her flushed cheeks. I kissed her forehead. "Do you not want to go?"

"I have to. I need to prove to myself that I can," Bella whispered. "But, you'll be there, right?"

"Holding your hand every step of the way, love," I cooed. Bella looked up at me, her cinnamon colored eyes filling with tears. She reached up and traced my cheeks, moving her fingers along my jaw. Her soft touch left a wake of fire on my skin. But I shivered. "What are you thinking, Bella?"

"I love you, Edward," she whispered. "I never thought I could feel this. Let alone with you. The bane of my existence."

"I'm glad you think so highly of me," I snickered. "But, you know I love you, too." Bella smiled and a few tears fell down her cheeks. "Don't cry, beautiful. You're so strong and you can do anything."

"With the support of my family," she rasped. Bella brought up her other hand and she ran her fingers along the contours of my face. It felt so nice, but so intimate. It was like she was memorizing each dip and dimple in my features. I raised my own hands, and did the same to her gorgeous face. My fingertips glided along her silky skin of forehead, moving down to the tiny dimple on her left cheek, tracing to her soft jaw line and ending on her velvety lips. Her eyes had fluttered shut and she sighed. I moved forward and pressed soft kisses, following the same pattern as my fingertips. Bella's expressive eyes opened as I kissed her jaw. She angled her head and leaned her mouth to mine for a tender kiss on my lips. It was soft and sweet. My belly was filling with butterflies. "Edward," Bella moaned quietly.

"What, beautiful?" I whispered as I kissed down her neck, ending at the hollow behind her ear. I traced circles with my tongue on the perfect skin there.

"So loving," she sighed as she moved away. "I want you tattoo me today."

"Really?"

"An 'E' on the spot you just kissed," Bella blushed. "With your pretty girly handwriting."

"I do not have girly handwriting," I said, arching my brow.

"Yes, you do." Bella grabbed my hand and dragged me to the kitchen. She put the grocery list in front of me. "If I didn't know that a 28 year old man lived in here, I'd guess that an 80 year old woman lived in this apartment. Totally girly."

"At least it's legible. Your scrawl looks like a kindergartners," I said. _SMACK! _"Ow!"

"I do not write like a kindergartner, you douche."

"Okay, whatever, Bella," I snickered. "I'm going to take my girly handwriting and finish my grocery list. Go shower, woman."

"Are saying that I smell?"

"Yes."

"Ass…"

"Duh!"

_Such a loving and adversarial relationship. Keeps me on my toes._

xx EC: AWIP: xx

"We have to go in the front doors, Edward. I can't go in the back. Please don't make me go in the back entrance," Bella rambled. "Please? Promise me!"

"Bella, we'll go in the front. I won't make you go in the back," I soothed as I caressed her cheek. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I have to, Edward. I need to prove to myself that I'm strong enough," she whispered.

"Love, you are the strongest person I know. You can do anything."

"Why can't I believe it?"

"I'll keep telling you until you do, beautiful," I said as I pulled up to Dreamstyle. Bella's hand wrapped around mine and squeezed tightly. I winced at the power of her grip. "Love? I need my hand to get out of the car."

"Oh, right. Sorry," Bella laughed nervously. She hesitantly released my hand. I kissed her cheek and went to open the door. I jogged around the front of the car and opened the passenger side. Bella was rooted in her seat. Her eyes were wide. "I can't do this."

"Yes, you can," I whispered as I crouched down. Bella's eyes clamped down and her hands curled into tight balls, her knuckles were pushing against her skin. She turned in the seat, putting her feet on the asphalt outside the car. Her eyes opened and she stood up on shaky limbs. Bella reached for my hand and laced her fingers with mine. I closed the door and we walked toward Dreamstyle.

We paused momentarily once we got to the entrance. I leaned down and kissed Bella on her lips. She hugged me tightly. All too soon, she released her steely grip from my neck and walked to the door, pulling it open. She strode the door.

"Bella!" Emmett boomed. He ran up to her and held out his arms. Bella shrank back against my chest, whimpering quietly. Emmett caught the hint and stepped back. "You look good, Bells."

"Thanks, Emmett," Bella whispered as she moved closer to me. Her body was trembling like a leaf. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Worried about you, though," Emmett said as he shuffled on his feet. "When do you think you're going to be back at Dreamstyle?"

"I don't know. Soon, I hope."

"Hey, Em? Can Bella and I use your office? She wants a tattoo…" I asked.

"Cool. That's cool," Emmett smiled. "Just so long as I get some kind of loving from my best tattoo artist. A hug. A pinch on the ass. A smack upside the head. Something…"

"I'll try, Emmett," Bella whispered as she nestled closer to me. "I'm still struggling with a lot. Especially with men."

"You're comfortable with Edward," Emmett said in an accusatory tone.

"He saved me, Emmett," Bella sniffled. I caught Emmett's eyes above Bella's, giving him a warning glare. He backed off and ushered us to his office. I faintly heard Rose hissing at Emmett and light smacks against his chest. "I shouldn't have come."

"Bella, ignore him," I said as I sat her down on one of the chairs in Emmett's office. "He doesn't realize what you've been through. What we've been through…" Bella nodded and leaned against my bicep. "I'm going to get some tracing paper and create your tattoo. Will you be okay for a few minutes?"

"I think so," Bella said.

I kissed her cheek and went out into the shop. Rose was ripping into Emmett. "…she's been through hell and back. Cut her some fucking slack, you moron!" Rose yelled.

I grabbed Emmett's shoulder and spun him around, punching him in the jaw. "What the fuck, Edward?" Emmett spat.

"You of all people know what it's like to deal with an addict. Multiply that times one hundred. With the fear of her rapist being out and roaming free. You need to back off or you will be dealing with much more than my fists," I snarled. "I love you like a brother, but that woman in your office is my fucking life. Fuck with her and you fuck with me. Got it?"

Emmett sneered at me but saw the fire in my eyes. My love for Bella. His gaze fell to the floor and his posture slumped. "I'm sorry, Edward. I never realized…"

"No, you didn't," Rose said calmly. "Bella is dealing with much more than addiction. Her crippling fear of James is overwhelming. This shop is where it happened. Don't you get it? She's not afraid of you. She's afraid to be here. That's why I moved away from New York. Everywhere I turned, I saw my psycho ex-boyfriend. He's in jail, but I would see someone similar to him and freak out. Being in here is like one open, nasty, gaping wound. Full of puss and disease. The fact that she walked through that door says a ton about her character. I'm with Edward on this. You fuck with her and you fuck with me, too."

"Thanks, Rose," I murmured. "I'm certain Bella would appreciate it."

"Can I talk to her?" Rose asked, her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm certain she'd like that. Someone besides me to talk to," I snickered. Rose gave me a hug and smacked Emmett for good measure. I went to my station and sketched out the 'E' that Bella wanted tattooed on her neck. Emmett sat down on a stool next to me, giving me the sad puppy dog look. "I'm sorry I punched you."

"You got a mean hook, Eddie. I'm going to have one hell of a bruise. But I deserved it," Emmett said. "How is she really?"

"A nervous wreck. She was shaking like a leaf when she saw you," I murmured. "Rose is right, though. It's not you. It's the shop. Please don't take it personally. If I went to that hotel where I overdosed, I probably would have the same reaction."

"What are you working on?"

"Bella wants a tattoo behind her ear on her neck," I said. "An 'E.'"

"E for Emmett?" Emmett joked.

"Sure, Em. Believe what you want. E for excellent. E for extraordinary."

"E for Edward," Emmett smiled. "She really loves you."

"I really love her. I would do absolutely anything for her," I said as I put the finishing touches on my sketch. It was some vines and flowers that looked like an E. Very elegant and pretty, soft and girly. I created the stencil and went back to Emmett's office. Emmett gave me a smile as I passed him. I knocked lightly on the door. Rose and Bella were in embrace, with Bella crying quietly against Rose's shoulder. "Hey? Everything alright?"

"Yeah," Bella sniffled. "Just comparing battle scars."

"Edward you saw it when you passed your piercing test," Rose winked.

"Oh, the thing on your belly," I said. "Barely recognized it."

"You suck at lying, Edward. Your eyes were fixated on it." Rose teased.

"That's because I didn't want to stare at your boob, Rose," I laughed. "It's, um, not gentlemanly."

"You are not a gentleman. Angela told me what you two did on your first day," Rose said. "And she told me that she was shocked that you do not have a pierced cock."

"I offered," Bella said.

"No metal is coming anywhere near Eddie Jr.," I said in a voice that sounded like I was going through puberty. "I've heard about the wonders of how it can make sex amazing, but I'm such a pussy with piercings."

"We'll change your mind, Edward," Rose said as she and Bella shared a conspiratorial look. Bella grinned and winked at Rose. "Just give both of us time." Rose got up and kissed my lips as she left the room. "Call me anytime, Bella. Love you, girl."

"Love you, too, Rose," Bella said. She turned and looked at me. "So, let's see it."

"Only if you tell me how you and Rosalie are going to 'convince me' to get a Prince Albert," I said dryly.

"You'll just have to wait and see," Bella smirked. She poked my belly and I snorted. She swiped the sketch from my hands and gasped quietly. "Edward…"

"Do you hate it?"

"No, I love it," she murmured. "Let's do it." Bella clambered into my lap, straddling my legs. Her soft lips moved with mine. I traced her lower lip with my tongue and I moved to her neck, kissing and licking the spot where I was going to tattoo. Bella's fingers tangled into my hair and she moaned quietly. I pulled my lips away and picked her up. Bella's legs wrapped around my waist and I carried her to the table in Emmett's office. I wiped off her neck and pinned her hair back. Bella watched me with rapt attention as I prepared her neck for the tattoo. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, more, Bella. And once you're up to it, you're branding me with a B," I smiled. "I'm thinking right in the middle of my forehead."

"No way. You're too pretty for a huge B on your forehead," Bella laughed. "How about on your left ass cheek?"

"Ah, no," I snickered as I placed the stencil on her neck. I held up the mirror as Bella assessed the placement. She smiled and nodded. I readied my tattoo gun and sat next to Bella's head. "You ready?"

"Yes. Thank you, Edward," Bella whispered. "Maybe I should get a W."

"For 'Whip?'" I teased. Bella smiled. "I like the E better."

"Edward, I know that we've had some rough times the past few weeks," Belle began as I pressed the needle to her neck. "But, I appreciate everything you've done for me."

"I'd do absolutely anything for you, beautiful," I said as I ran the gun over her soft skin.

"Edward, I'm yours. In every sense," she said, her cinnamon eyes pleading with me. "I know we haven't…I don't know when…"

"Bella, I'll wait for you. Forever if I have to," I whispered as I focused on her tattoo. "I'm yours, too."

"Why do you want me?"

"Really? Bella, you are the strongest woman I know. You're smart, beautiful, witty, loyal, and unbelievably talented. You've been dealt a shit hand of cards, but I wouldn't change anything about you."

"Even the…" Bella murmured as she gestured to her belly. "I can't…"

"I don't care about that, Bella. Just because you had a hysterectomy, doesn't make you less of a woman. I'll love you, no matter what, love."

"Love me enough to be with me forever? This colossal fuck up?"

"Bella, you are not a fuck up. If anyone is a fuck up in this relationship, it's me," I said dryly. "You are stuck with me until you wish me away, beautiful. In any way you want me. As you boyfriend, your love slave, your husband, your whipping boy…I don't care as long as I get to keep you."

"Love slave…I like that," Bella laughed. "Will you wear just a loin cloth? Easy access."

"No."

"Damn. But do you see us forever?" Bella asked, her cinnamon eyes imploring me.

"You want to know what I see? I see you in a chic white dress walking down the aisle to me in Vegas. Me in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a tuxedo on it," I said with a smirk.

"You wear that on our wedding day and that's a clear cut way to get a divorce," Bella said seriously.

"Okay, I'll wear something different. A suit?"

"God, I'd die if I saw you in a suit," Bella laughed.

"Well, it doesn't matter what I'm wearing. The only thing that matters is us. We finally declare our love for each other in front of our family. In Vegas. Then after we say our vows, I'll take up to our suite and make love to you."

"With your Prince Albert piercing," Bella said, giving me a sidelong glance.

"Noooooo!" I said as I shook my head emphatically. "I'm talking about making love to my future wife and you're fixated on piercing my peen. You are so weird, Bella."

"It's part of my charm," Bella said. "You almost done?"

"Yep. About five more minutes," I said. "Now, back to our future…do you like it? Does it sound like something you want?"

"I want it all with you, Edward," Bella smiled sweetly. "Eventually."

"But it'll happen, love," I said. "When we're ready. If not, you'll have to find another guy with the first name with the letter E. Evan. Everett. Emmett. Eduardo. Estevaughn."

"Estevaughn? What the hell is the name 'Estevaughn?'" Bella laughed.

"Work with me," I snickered. "You're done, beautiful." I wiped off the extra ink and helped Bella up. I held the mirror up and Bella smiled widely. "Well?"

"I love it. I love you," Bella said. "Thank you." She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. "Now, I'm exhausted. Can we go home now?"

"Yes, we can go home. I'm proud of you, love," I said as I tore down the station in Emmett's office. "Do you want me to wrap you up?"

"Nah, I want to show my boyfriend's brand on my neck," Bella said. "Let's boogie, Whip!"

I finished cleaning up the mess and we went back out into the shop. Rose gushed over Bella's tattoo. Emmett stayed back. Bella gave me a small smile and walked over to the big oaf. Emmett gave her a shy smile. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck. Emmett pulled her into an embrace. I could see the tears falling down his cheeks. Hell, they were falling down my cheeks. I don't think there was a dry eye in the shop. After a few minutes, Bella pulled away and kissed Emmett's cheek. Her lips lingered on his ear as she whispered quietly. Emmett grinned his dimply grin and cupped her face. Bella kissed his nose and turned to me. She twined her fingers with mine and we headed out of the shop.

I drove us back to the apartment. We walked up the stairs in a comfortable silence. I ordered some food from Mr. Foo's and left to get the food. As I drove to get the food, I noticed I was being followed. A black Camaro was on my tail as I drove to the restaurant. The windows were darkened and I couldn't see who was driving. My heart was flying. I didn't know who it was for certain, but I had a sick feeling in my stomach that it was James.

_He just couldn't stay away for long…_

**A/N: Darkness on the horizon…Leave me love and I'll update faster. And James will be dealt his cards. Hugs!**


	16. Chapter 16

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a nasty sunburn, Garlic Garlic from Tastefully Simple, and a shelving unit that I built myself. *pats myself on the back for that one…***_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Sixteen: Moving**

"Bella, I need you to pack a bag," I said as I strode through the door of my shithole apartment.

"What? Why?" she asked as she turned off the television.

"We can't stay here," I said as I pulled a duffel out of my closet. I began throwing clothes into it. Bella grabbed my wrist, squeezing hard. Her cinnamon eyes were imploring me. I frowned and cupped her face with my free hand. "I think I saw James follow me while I was getting our dinner."

Bella's eyes filled with tears and her hand released my wrist. She swayed. Bella's eyes rolled back into her head and she fell. I managed to cradle her fall before she got to the ground. I kissed her forehead, my own eyes filling with tears. "Bella…"I murmured against her skin. I held her tightly. "I'm going to try and make the nightmare go away, love." She moaned quietly and nuzzled my chest. I felt tears soak through my shirt. I sighed and picked her up, placing her on the bed. I took out my cell phone and called Emmett.

"Dreamstyle Ink, Emmett speaking," he said loudly.

"Em, it's Edward. I need your help," I said brokenly.

"What's wrong? Is Bella okay?"

"No. Neither of us is," I replied. "I think I saw…James." A loud roar rang through my phone and I heard a loud crash. Emmett yelled some orders at his staff. "Emmett!"

"We're closing up shop and we'll be at your apartment in less than an hour."

"Do you still have that trailer at your apartment?" I asked.

"Yeah. Why?" Emmett asked.

"We're moving out of my dump and into my inheritance. There's security there and we're going to need it."

"Got it, Eddie," Emmett said seriously. He hung up the phone and I began throwing clothes into the duffel bags. About ten minutes later, I heard a dainty knock on my door. I checked through the peephole and saw Alice. I opened the door. Alice came and wrapped her arms around my waist, sniffling quietly.

"Hey, Midget," I whispered.

"How is she, Whip?" Alice asked, looking up at me with the saddest expression on her face.

"She fainted when I told her and she hasn't moved an inch since I put her on the bed, Alice," I mumbled. "I'm so fucking scared. For her. For me. Terrified, Alice."

"I know, Edward," Alice muttered. She turned and walked to the bed, crawling next to Bella. Alice gently stroked Bella's cheek. "She looks like hell, Edward. Is she eating?"

"Part of the issue with getting the drugs out your system is the inability to keep food down," I shuddered. "I lost nearly fifty pounds in rehab. I gained most of it back within that first six months out of the facility. I try to get her to eat but she throws it up if she eats too quickly."

"She'll be alright?"

"I believe so," I answered. I sat down next my Bella and laced my fingers with hers. "Physically she's getting stronger every day. However, I'm concerned about her mental health. She has nightmares. Night terrors, really. Every night. I wake her up and she shakes it off. I don't think she even realizes that she's having them. I've asked her about it in the morning, but she looks at me blankly. Bella does have therapy sessions at Legacy, but I think she needs more that what they're offering. I don't know. I've never been 'raped.' Close, but not quite."

Alice arched a brow and encouraged me to continue. I sighed. "I was beaten within an inch of my life. I 'sold' my body to get drug money when I was addicted. Two guys came up to me and asked for a taste. I said no and they tried to take me by force. I got away, thankfully. Emmett found me. That was the beginning of our friendship. I was nearly butt raped by two assholes and Emmett saved my life."

"They didn't…" Alice asked.

"No. I kneed one of them in the balls and I said if either one their dicks came toward my mouth, I'd bite it off," I chuckled darkly. "I stayed with Em until I was healthy enough to go back on my own. But I fell into bad habits and the next time I saw Emmett was when he threw my ass into rehab after my overdose."

Alice opened her mouth to say something but Bella started whimpering. I lay down next to her, holding her close to my chest. I whispered in her ear, telling her that she was safe. No one would hurt her. Alice was crying at the picture in front of her. Her best friend was being ripped apart at the seams. However, my words of comfort did nothing. Bella's whimpers turned to sobs and she clutched at my shirt. The sobs morphed into all out screams and she thrashed against me. "Bella, listen to my voice, beautiful," I said in her ear. "You're fine. I won't let anybody hurt you. Please, wake up. See for yourself. You're fine. You're safe." With a loud scream, Bella shoved me off the bed. I fell on my ass with a resounding thud. I scrambled up, ignoring the pain I felt in my tailbone. "Bella, please?" I begged. I put my hands on her face, caressing the tears away. Her eyes flew open and she scrambled out of bed.

"Stay away from me," she screamed. She cowered in the corner. Her eyes were glazed over and she was not truly coherent. Alice shot me a look and walked toward Bella. I stayed back.

"Bella? It's Alice," she said quietly. "You're okay, sweetie."

"No, I'm not. I'm broken," Bella sobbed. She fell onto the floor, curling up into a tight ball. "I can't make the nightmare stop."

"Bella, I know you're scared," Alice said as she fell to her knees in front of my Bella. My beautifully broken girl. "But, we're going to keep you safe. Me, Emmett, Rose, and Edward. You remember, Edward? He found you." Alice gestured for me to come closer. I walked slowly over to the corner where she sat. I folded myself onto the floor, staring at Bella, keeping my eyes locked with hers. "He loves you, Bella. He'll keep you safe, sweetie."

"He'll hurt me," Bella muttered.

"No, I won't," I said confidently. "You mean too much to me for me to hurt you. Look at me. Look into my eyes. Do you see any deception? Any insincerity?"

Bella looked into my green orbs and searched. She crawled forward and took my face into her hands. Her eyes penetrated mine. With a minute shake of the head, she scrambled into my lap, putting her head over my heart. I tentatively wrapped my arms around shaking body and rocked her gently. Alice gave me a smile and went to finish packing. I mouthed 'thank you' and calmed down my girl.

Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie showed up about an hour after Alice. Bella had a minor panic attack when she saw Jasper. She noticed his blonde hair and started breathing erratically. I dragged her to the corner and shared a cigarette with her. That calmed her down. I had to pry myself away from her to carry down the couch to the trailer that Emmett had brought. Rose and Alice stayed with Bella while we did manual labor. We loaded up the couch and television into the trailer, along with several necessities.

"Where are you going to go, Edward?" Jasper asked.

"I inherited my grandfather's estate and we're going to go there," I said as made sure that the couch was secure. "James is lurking about and I don't trust him. We need more security and the house has a gate, security system and is in a secured community."

"What are you going to do about your shithole apartment?" Emmett questioned.

"I'm going to keep the ruse that I'm still living here. However, we'll be staying in Bellevue," I replied. "I totally don't fit the mold of an appropriate 'Bellevue-resident' but what can you do?"

"I can give you one of my suits," Jasper snickered.

"Fuck. No," I said, arching my brow. "I'm not going to change who I am because of my relocation." Jasper guffawed and we went back upstairs. Rose, Alice and Bella had finished packing the duffel bags. What couldn't fit was on the bed in garbage bags. Bella was still crying but she wasn't shaking on her feet. I walked up to her, putting my arm around her waist. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking terrified, Edward. He's going to finish the job he started," Bella hissed. "He's going to kill me."

"Not if I have anything to say about it. He has to go through me to get to you," I growled, pulling her into a tight embrace. Bella sobbed against my chest. "Bella, you're mine and I'll do anything to ensure your safety." She nodded and held me tighter. I pulled away slightly. I cupped her chin to force her to look up at me. Her cinnamon eyes were filled with sadness and terror. "No one will get to you. Do you believe me?"

"In theory," she joked lightly. "You're not bulletproof, Edward. He could kill you."

"Edward's like a cat, Bella. He's got nine lives," Emmett snorted.

"I'm not fucking cat, tard," I snapped. "A lion is more like it."

"You got some crazy ass hair like a lion," Bella quipped. Her fingers twisted through my bronze hair, scratching at my scalp. I leaned into her touch and closed my eyes. "Are you going to start purring, Whip?"

"Ugh, you suck," I said as I pulled away. Bella giggled and grabbed my belt. She pulled me back to her. Bella grabbed my face and kissed me with as much passion that I'd ever felt from her. Her tongue swept inside of my mouth. I moaned quietly as I pulled her flush to my body, my hands resting on her ass.

"Okay, porn stars," Emmett snickered. "Let's get you to this secured location." Bella flipped off Emmett and we went down to the cars. I led the caravan to my house in Bellevue. Bella was very quiet, staring off into space while I drove. Her hand found mine as I was driving and twined her fingers. We pulled up to the house around ten at night. I punched in the security code and we parked in the driveway. Emmett blew out a low whistle as he got out his jeep. "This is not a house; this is a fucking five star resort."

"Leave the shit in the trailer and you're all staying here tonight. There's like a billion bedrooms," I shrugged. I slung our bags over my shoulder. I unlocked the door and punched the security code into the keypad by the door. Everyone let out quiet gasps at the beauty of the foyer and of the house itself.

"Holy fuck, Edward," Rose mumbled. "This is absolutely gorgeous. Your grandfather left this to you?"

"I also have a home in Chicago," I murmured, toeing the parquet flooring. "He died a couple of years ago, leaving all of this, plus his entire estate to me."

"What are you going to do with the money and this place, Edward?" Alice asked.

"I haven't decided yet," I said with a noncommittal shrug. "Probably pay all of you back first."

"Edward, don't worry about it," Emmett said as he clapped his hand on my shoulder. "You're my brother and I'd do anything for you. Just like I'd do anything for my family." I gave Emmett a smile, which he returned in kind. In an unexpected display of affection, Emmett hugged me tightly. I embraced him back and patted his muscular shoulder. "Okay, enough pussy shit. I'm tired and I have to open the shop tomorrow. Where's the bedrooms?"

I led everyone upstairs. Emmett and Rose took the first bedroom I showed them. Alice and Jasper took the one across the hall from Emmett and Rose. I led Bella into the master bedroom. She was so quiet. Her eyes were downcast and her posture displayed a defeated attitude. Once we were in the bedroom, I clicked the door shut and captured her face in my hands. "Talk to me, beautiful."

"Just over thinking everything," Bella murmured. "Are we going to stay here from now on?"

"I think that would be best," I said, caressing her satiny skin. "There's security here. James can't get into the subdivision unless he gets permission from a resident. Now, between my shithole apartment and a fucking mansion, which would you choose?"

"Shithole apartment," Bella quipped, giving me a half smile.

"Funny, Swan," I said dryly.

"I don't care where we stay as long as I'm with you, Edward. I know I've been horrible. But you've been my rock throughout this whole ordeal," Bella said quietly. "And you've got to be so frustrated with me."

"Bella, I'm not frustrated. I'm worried," I answered honestly.

"Aren't you frustrated? Sexually?" Bella squeaked.

"Am I horny? Yes. I'm a guy," I snorted. "But I need to think with my big head. Not the little head. Do I want to be with you? Yes. But when _you're_ ready. Your body went through an amazing trauma. I don't want to hinder your recuperation."

"You don't want me?" she cried quietly.

"No. I didn't say that," I said firmly. "Give me your hand." Bella put her hand in mine. I placed it on my semi-erect cock. "Do you feel that? I'm like that all the time I'm around you. I want to be with you in every way. However, you're not ready. Your reaction to my telling you that James followed me is a clear indication that you are nowhere near ready for a physical relationship with me, Bella. I don't want to push you and have you regress. I need you to trust me, beautiful. Do you trust me?"

"How did you become so smart?" Bella laughed humorlessly.

"I've always been smart…" I smirked.

"You really should consider going to college, Edward. You're good at this shit," Bella said as she put her arms around my waist. "You'd reach a lot of people if you got a degree in psychology."

"I'm considering it," I said, pressing my lips to her soft hair. "I'm going to ask Jasper for an application to U-Dub. Go to school part time, or something."

"Go full time," Bella said, looking up at me. "You're too good at this. If you go part time, it'll take forever for you to get your degree, Dr. Cullen."

"Doctor, huh?" I smirked.

"Yep. You can examine me anytime," Bella purred.

"I may take you up on that, but for now, I need sleep. I'm completely spent, love," I said, yawning to emphasize my point. Bella kissed my chin and walked toward the king sized bed. We took off our clothes and put on some pajamas. Bella begged for me to keep my shirt off. I arched a brow but crawled between the luxurious sheets, leaving my shirt off. I set my alarm. Bella put her head on top of my bare chest, her ear directly above my heart. She sighed contentedly. Within moments, she was snoring lightly. I kissed her forehead, falling asleep myself.

xx EC: AWIP xx

The alarm went off pretty early the next morning. I slowly extricated myself from Bella's steely grip. She had such a tight hold around my waist. She was pressing right on my bladder and it didn't help the fact that I needed to pee. I took care of business and went downstairs to find Alice putting groceries in the fridge. "Alice, you didn't need to get me groceries," I snickered.

"Mother fuck!" Alice shrieked as she jumped a foot off the ground. "Don't go sneaking around in this mansion, Whip!"

"It's my mansion," I said with a grin, plucking a cup of coffee from the to-go holder on the counter. "Why are you buying me groceries?"

"Because there's no food in here. Duh," Alice said with an eye roll. "I couldn't sleep well and so I went exploring. I wandered around the house and then decided to get you some groceries and basics."

"Thanks, Midget," I said with an appreciative smile. I hugged her and kissed her forehead. Alice pinched my side and went to finish putting away the groceries. As I sipped my coffee, Emmett padded down and was scratching his belly. "Morning, Em."

He replied with an incoherent grunt. I forgot how much he hated waking up in the morning. I sighed and finished my coffee. Alice asked if I wanted something for breakfast. I shook my head no. Emmett demanded she make him French toast with sausage. Alice threw a towel at Emmett's head and growled. I let out a laugh and went back up to check on Bella. I swiped a coffee for her and went up the stairs. When I got back into the bedroom, she wasn't in the bed. I heard the shower going and I knocked lightly on the door.

"It's open, Whip," Bella called out.

I poked my head in the shower and saw Bella standing with a towel around her body as she brushed her teeth. "I have coffee for you," I said. "Alice got groceries and stuff."

"I'll have some later. I'm going to shower," Bella said. "Want to join me?"

"Um…"

"Edward, if I'm asking you, I'm comfortable," Bella said as she pulled me into the bathroom. "Please?"

I cupped her face and looked into her eyes, searching for any trepidation. "Hmmmm," I replied as I kissed her sweetly. Bella reached for my shorts and gently eased them over my hips. She removed her lips from mine and stepped away , dropping the towel and stepping into the large shower. I gulped and had a mental conversation with my cock. _Behave yourself…do not act like a fucking perv. We're going to shower. No nookie. _

I followed Bella into the shower and dipped my head under the hot spray. Bella looked over her shoulder and handed me her body wash. I smiled and squeezed some into my hands, massaging the soap into her soft, supple flesh. I ran my fingers down her arms and back. She moaned quietly, lacing her fingers with mine. She wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed her back to my chest. Bella guided my hands to her small breasts. I bit back a groan and followed her lead. "Touch me, Edward," she murmured.

I nodded and kissed her neck, avoiding her new tattoo. My hands cupped her breasts. Bella arched her back, moaning loudly. I smiled and gently kneaded her soft mounds with my hands. I continued kissing her neck as I tenderly cupped her perfect breasts. "You are so beautiful, Bella," I mumbled against her fragrant skin.

With a soft whimper, Bella turned around in my arms. She looked up into my evergreen eyes. Her gaze radiated love, pure love. "You're the beautiful one, Edward. I love you," she whispered as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss me. I eagerly accepted her kiss, massaging her pouty lips with mine. Her hands captured my wrists and she guided my own hands down her slick body, finally stopping on the top of her ass. I gently pulled her closer to my hard body. She moaned when she felt my arousal poke her in the stomach. I smiled against her mouth. "You've got to be uncomfortable, Whip." Bella's hand wrapped around my cock.

"I'm fine, love," I said as I distanced myself from her. "Slowly, Bella."

Bella pouted slightly but shook it off. "You're right. I hate it when you're right, but you're right," Bella rambled.

"That's because I'm a fucking genius," I said smugly. "If you want to rub something, wash my hair."

"Get on your knees," Bella challenged. I quirked a brow. "You're too fucking tall, Jolly Green Giant." I scoffed and fell to my knees. Bella squirted some shampoo into her hands and massaged my head with the shampoo. Bella tipped my head back and rinsed my bronze locks. Once she was done, she cradled my head in her hands. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her navel. She giggled and danced away. "That tickles, Edward!"

"Sorry," I said with a wry grin as I stood up. "I love hearing you laugh, though."

"I haven't laughed much," Bella admitted sadly as she washed her hair. "I'm so…"

"Don't apologize, Bella," I said softly. I massaged her hair and helped her rinse. We finished our shower and I wrapped a towel around Bella. She hugged me tightly. I kissed her forehead and got out of the shower. We got dressed and went back downstairs. Alice had made some breakfast. She went up to Bella and hugged her tightly. Bella returned her embrace. Breakfast was a loud affair. After we ate, Emmett, Jasper and I went to put my couch in the garage.

I opened the garage and I think Emmett had a heart attack. "Is that an Aston Martin Vanquish?" he squeaked.

"And a Ducati?" Jasper moaned.

"And a new Volvo?" I smiled. There were four vehicles in the garage. An black Aston Martin Vanquish, a silver Volvo S60, a red Audi TT Coupe and a Ducati motorcycle. I looked over the garage and saw a small lock box. I took out my keys and found a lock box key that was left in the envelope from my inheritance. I opened the box with the key. Inside there were all of the keys for the cars. "I wonder if they work?"

"How long did this place stay locked up?" Jasper asked.

"Um, two years?" I replied.

"Then, the batteries are probably dead. However, we can jump them," Emmett said. "Let's put this couch in the corner and then we'll wake these babies."

The cars started after they were jumped and I was giddy at the prospect that I could have a car that was not a piece of shit. I adopted the Volvo as my car. _Old habits die hard. _The Aston was going to stay in the garage, but taken out for special occasions. After we got all of the cars started, I went inside to get Bella. She was in the family room, talking with Rose and Alice. I skipped…_yes, skipped_, over to Bella and grabbed her hands. "Can I borrow her for a bit?"

"Sure," Rose smiled. "Where are you taking her?"

"Garage," I answered with a goofy grin.

"What's in the garage, Edward?" Bella asked skeptically. "If it's a greasy nasty junkhole, I'm going to smack you."

"It's actually cleaner than the shithole apartment," I smirked. "Come on." Bella scowled at me like I was crazy and wouldn't move. I rolled my eyes and threw Bella over my shoulder.

"Edward!" she squealed. I laughed and carried her out to the garage. Alice and Rose were on my heels, laughing wildly. Once we got into the garage, I put Bella on her feet. She smacked my chest several times before I turned her around to look at what I think she would like. Once she spied the red Audi, Bella squeaked. "Is that an Audi TT Coupe?"

"Yep," I smirked. I reached into my pocket and dangled the keys in front of Bella's nose.

"Wait a minute…" Bella said, looking at me with shock. "You're giving me a car?"

"It's too girly for me," I shrugged.

"Bella if you don't want it, I'll take it," Rose said, holding her hand out.

"Fuck no, bitch. This red beauty is MINE," Bella said as she snatched the keys out of my hand, laughing as she ran to the car. I smiled as I watched her slide into the car. She started the Audi and smiled widely. "Get in, Whip!"

I looked at my friends. Rose was pouting. Alice was jumping on her toes and Jasper was trying to calm her down. Emmett was scowling. He still had to go to work. I snickered and got into the passenger side. Bella hit the garage door opener and eased the car out onto the road. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know. I don't care. I just want to drive," Bella said with a happy giggle. At the stoplight, Bella leaned over and kissed me. "Thank you, Edward."

"Don't thank me. Thank my grandfather," I said with a crooked grin. "I don't even know why he would by this. He was straight laced and this is so not him."

"Let me guess, he drove a Volvo. Just like another guy I know," Bella winked.

"That's the car I'm adopting. So yes," I snorted. "There's nothing wrong with a Volvo. My new one is much more sleek than the junky one I have now."

"It's just ironic, Edward. I mean you're all bad ass with tattoos and piercings and you drive a _Volvo,_" Bella said with a look of distaste.

"Would you rather I drive a motorcycle or some sports car?" I laughed.

"I did see a Ducati in the garage," Bella smirked.

"Yeah, it'll be awhile before I hop on that, my dear," I said. "But when I get comfortable on it, we'll go for a spin."

"Sweet!" Bella squealed. I smiled as Bella sped around Bellevue and Seattle. I got a text from Emmett asking me to come for closing at the shop. I was apprehensive leaving Bella by herself. I texted him, informing Emmett about my fear. A few moments later, Emmett replied saying that Alice and Jasper will stay with Bella. I was somewhat relieved and said I would come in. I told Bella that I needed to go into the shop and subsequently needed to go back to the house. She grumbled and drove us back to the mansion after filling up the gas tank. I grabbed my kit and went into my new car.

I parked at Dreamstyle, looking around the shop for any trace of James. I didn't see any and I went inside. Angela was sitting at her station, tattooing Ben. Emmett was in his office working on the books. I poked my head in there and he asked me to put an order in for several items. I nodded and went to the computer. I ordered the necessities, like paper towels, Vaseline, and other items. I also placed an order for some merchandise: t-shirts and hoodies. I was finalizing my order when I got an email. I opened it up and it was an application to University of Washington at Seattle from Jasper. In his note, he said that he'd write me a letter of recommendation to get me into the university.

I spent the remainder of my shift at Dreamstyle working on my application. I was finishing up my essays when the phone rang. "Dreamstyle Ink. This is Edward speaking," I answered.

"Hi, Edward," a female voice said.

"How can I help you?"

"It's Mom," Esme said nervously. "I tried calling your cell phone but it went straight to voicemail. I remembered that you worked at Dreamstyle and so I looked it up on the internet."

"Good job, Mom," I laughed. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch or something?" Esme asked.

"That sounds good. However, would you be willing to come to the estate in Bellevue?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Sure, sweetie," Esme replied. "Why? Are you living there now?"

"Yeah. I'll explain when you come to lunch. Anyhow, I want you to meet my girlfriend," I said.

"Girlfriend? Oh, I can't wait," Esme said excitedly. "When would be good for you?"

"How about Sunday?"

"Excellent. I'll be down to see around noon?" she questioned.

"That works. I'll see you then, Mom. I love you," I smiled.

"Love you, too, sweetie. Bye."

I was grinning like a moron as I hung up the phone. "Having Bella meet the parental? That's serious," Emmett said.

"Holy fuck," I said as I fell out of my chair. "Christ, Emmett! You scared the crap out of me."

Emmett made a funny face and waggled his fingers. I smacked his arm as I stood up. "Just seeing you fall on your ass was worth it."

"You're a douche, Em."

"I moved your damn couch and other shit yesterday," Emmett said pointedly. "I'm not that much of a douche."

"Okay, you're douche 'lite,'" I clarified. Emmett smacked my head and growled. I laughed. We stayed until the close of the shop, counting the money from the till. We placed the cash and valuable items into the safe in Emmett's office. We had changed the code after James was fired. We did it again after Bella's attack. Just to be safe. Emmett and I walked out of the shop, locking it up. We were both on alert with the possibility of James randomly showing up. We went our separate ways and I drove back to the mansion.

Once home, I went into the kitchen and found Alice and Jasper eating some ice cream. I handed Jasper my application, asking him to look it over. He nodded and tucked back into his frozen treat. I asked Alice where Bella was. She responded that my girl was in the piano room. I nodded and walked through the house until I got to the music room. As I got closer, I heard the most beautiful and haunting melody fill the hallways. It was simple but absolutely gorgeous. I listened for a few minutes longer before I walked into the room. Bella looked over her shoulder and blushed. Her hands stopped on the piano. "Don't stop," I whispered.

"I have no idea what I'm doing," she said, her posture slumping.

"For someone who has no idea what they're doing, that was pretty fucking awesome. Can you do it again?" I asked quietly. Bella frowned and played the melody again quietly. She was afraid of messing up. "Pretend I'm not here, beautiful."

"It's a little hard when you're sitting RIGHT next to me, looking all hot and sexy and shit," Bella said, giving me a seductive grin. I got up from the piano bench and moved away. Again, Bella played the melody and it was more exquisite than the first time. The combination of seeing her at the piano, making music, aroused me. Connected me to her. I closed my eyes and let my imagination run wild. I also mentally created an accompaniment to her melody. She stopped after a few moments and I looked at me. I gave her a crooked smile and sat down next to her. I laid my hands on the keys. I replayed the melody that she just performed for me back to her. "How can you do that?"

"Good ears," I answered. "Listen." I added a left hand accompaniment and enhanced her melody. My eyes fluttered shut and the music flowed from my mind. My heart. My soul. I gave it all to the music. To Bella. To her. Only to her. With each note, each chord, I gave her my heart. When I finally stopped, I looked over at Bella. She was sobbing quietly. "You hated it?"

"No, Edward. That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. The fact that you could take something that came from my brain and create _that_ is nothing short of amazing," Bella murmured.

"Bella, you created it. I just enhanced it," I smiled, wiping her tears away from her cheeks. Bella straddled my legs and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing soft kisses to my neck, lips, ears, nose, anywhere she could reach. She called me an angel and I laughed at that one. "Yeah, I'm an angel. More like a devil with all of these tattoos and piercings."

"Well, you're my devil," Bella smirked. "I love you. Everything about you."

"I love you, too, my Bella," I said as I brushed her hair away from her face. "Though I should warn you about something…"

"Emmett's your secret lover?" Bella snorted.

"Ew, no."

"What?"

"Sunday, my mom is coming over. I wanted her to meet my girlfriend," I said, searching Bella's eyes for any sort of panic.

"Your mom?"

"Yeah. We're working on rebuilding our relationship. You were the catalyst, Bella. Please tell me you're okay with it?"

"She's going to hate me," Bella groaned. "I'm a freak, covered with tattoos and…"

"What does that make me?" I asked with a sardonic smirk.

"Um…"

"Bella, she'll love you. What's not to love?" I said as I cupped face.

"That I'm a recovering drug addict with no uterus who is leaching off her boyfriend?" Bella said, furrowing her brows.

"Stop it, Isabella. You are not leaching," I said. "You are recovering. She. Will. Love. You."

"No she won't."

"Yes, she will."

"No. She. Won't."

"Ugh!" I said in exasperation. "I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. But she will love you."

"Nope."

"Stubborn."

"Ass."

"I quit. But I will win this argument. On Sunday. Just wait…" I trailed off. Bella scowled at me. I kissed her, effectively wiping the scowl off her face.

"She won't!"

**A/N: Transition type chapter. A lot of growth between Bella and Edward. Their relationship is slowing progressing. Up next will be lunch with Esme and Bella's return to Dreamstyle. Oh and James is just around the corner…check out my tumblr (link in my profile) for pics of the mansion and extra teasers as I'm writing. Leave me love and see you on the flip side!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**

**Things I own: a fake orchid from Kohl's, an Oreck vacuum cleaner, and an apartment that needs to be vacuumed with aforementioned vacuum cleaner**

**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter Seventeen: Lunch with Esme**

"Edward, as much as I hate to say this, I need Alice," Bella groaned. "I have nothing to wear. I need to impress your mom!"

"Bella, relax," I snickered. "I've already called Alice. She's bringing over some clothes. And I quote, 'to make Bella look more female. She looks like a girl version of Whip.'"

"I'm going to kill her," Bella growled.

"Trust me; you do not look like me. That would be just wrong. I'm a freak of nature. You're gorgeous," I scoffed. Smack! "Why'd you hit me?"

"You are just as gorgeous, Edward," Bella said, pointing her finger at me. I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my coffee. I was going to the shop today while Alice was going to take Bella shopping. 'Glamify' her wardrobe. Anything to get Alice a chance to shop makes that girl squirt. Holy hell!

"Alice will be here in a little bit, love," I said as I finished my coffee and stuffed the bagel down my throat.

"Jeez, Cullen. Where you raised in a barn?" Bella teased.

"Yep," I said with my mouth full of bagel. I swallowed and gave her my crooked grin, "But you love me."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that, Whip," Bella snickered. "Does Alice know that I have group at three?"

"She does." The doorbell rang and I ran to open it. Alice breezed in and smacked my ass as she walked through my door. "Hello, to you, too, Wee-one."

"You love it when I smack your ass, Whipping Boy. You just love it rough," Alice purred. She ran up to me and hopped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. She bit down my earlobe.

"Fuck, Alice," I said as I tried to not drop her. "I think you drew blood."

"Midget, quit mounting my boyfriend," Bella said as she put on my leather jacket. "You have your own cowboy to ride. Remember, Dr. Whitlock?"

"You know I love, Jasper. I just adore teasing this one," Alice said as she grabbed my face and kissed my mouth, biting down on my lip. A few seconds later, she slid down my body. I stood there completely flummoxed.

"I'm scarred. Alice, I love you. Like. A. Sister. I feel so…so…violated," I grimaced as I bounced around the room. "And you really did draw blood. I can taste it." Bella looked at me seductively and glided over to me. She grabbed my belt buckle and pulled me closer to her slender body. She bit her lip and clawed her fingernails up my chest. She wrapped her fingers around my neck and gently pulled me down. I wrapped my arms around her waist. Bella's eyes searched mine as she moved her mouth closer to mine.

"Do you love me like a sister?" Bella whispered.

"Fuck no," I murmured. I closed the distance between us and pulled her so close to my body. My tongue plunged through her velvety lips. Bella's fingers tangled into my hair, tugging forcefully. Our lips danced together. Bella nibbled slightly on my upper lip while I bit down on her bottom lip. She moaned quietly and moved one of her hands down to my cock, rubbing my throbbing arousal through my jeans. I let out a soft whimper when her hand slid the length of my dick.

"Better?" Bella asked against my lips.

"I'm not violated by a midget. I'm just painfully turned on," I groaned. I sucked lightly on Bella's neck, below her 'E' tattoo. "I'm going to take my rock hard cock and bleeding lip and go to work. You two have fun. And don't forget that Bella needs to be at Legacy by three for her group session, evil little troll."

"Got it, Whip," Alice chirped as she weaved her arm with Bella's. I adjusted my hard on and grabbed my kit. I kissed Bella fiercely before I went out into the garage. I slid into my Volvo. My shiny new Volvo and smiled as I turned it over. I backed out and drove to Dreamstyle. When I got there, Angela and Rose were chatting quietly. I had one appointment but was pretty free for the rest of my time.

"Hey, Edward," Angela said with a smile. "What's up with your lip? It looks swollen."

"Yeah, you can blame Alice and Bella for that," I said dryly. "The Wee-One decided to kiss me and bite down on my lip. She drew blood and I was scarred for life. Bella then gave me the hottest kiss I'd ever experienced in my twenty eight years on this planet. Again, drawing blood."

"Why did Alice kiss you?" Rose snorted.

"Because she's Alice," I shrugged. "Rose, do you have a lot of appointments, today?"

"Nope. Why?"

"Can you tattoo me?" I asked. "I want to get a swan on my hip."

"I'm assuming not girly and colorful, right?" Rose snickered.

"Black. I have some ideas sketched out," I said as I handed her a few drawings.

She blew out a low whistle. "I love this one, Edward. A tribal swan. Drop your pants, stud," she said. I rolled my eyes and unbuckled my pants and lowered them where I wanted the tattoo. Rose made a rough sketch of my hip. "How big?"

"Curving around my hip, starting at my 'v' and moving up my side," I explained.

"Give me a half hour to make a stencil and then I'll make you pretty, Whip. It's gonna hurt like a bitch. You have very little meat on your hip bones," Rose said.

"I know. I can't help it if I'm skinny," I shrugged. "You should have seen me a year ago. Right, Ang?"

"Fuck, Edward, you were so skinny. I was so surprised you were able to pick me up that first day," Angela snickered. "And don't take this the wrong way, but we're better as friends. You're hot and all, but you're like a brother. Not a lover."

"I feel the same way, Ang," I blushed.

Rose looked at the two of us and tried to picture Angela and me fucking. "I still can't believe you fucked him. You two are polar opposites."

"We were horny," Angela and I answered honestly. We shared a look and laughed.

"I'm still shocked that you don't have a cock piercing, Edward," Angela said dryly.

"Why is everyone so keen on piercing my peen?" I groaned.

"Bella and I have a plan," Rose smirked.

"Should I be afraid?" I asked.

"Nope."

"That's so not reassuring, Rosalie," I said. Rose winked at me and turned to work on my sketch. I rolled my eyes and went to work on my own sketch for my lone appointment for today. About a half hour later, Rose grabbed my collar and dragged me to her station. "Jeez, it must be 'manhandle Edward' day."

"Quit your bitching and drop your drawers," Rose said. I arched a brow and lowered my jeans and boxers. Rose put some paper towels to protect my jeans from the ink. She placed the stencil on my hip. I got up and checked the placement. I smiled and nodded. I lay down and settled in for a few hours of pain and agony.

Why do I tattoo myself?

I'm masochist.

That's right…

The one thing that Rose accurate about was the tattoo hurt like a mother fucker. Especially when she went over my hip bone. I growled lowly as Rose moved the gun over my skin. I did appreciate that Rose was quiet, not wanting to fill the silence with inane chatter. She didn't talk to me while she inked my flesh. She knew me. She knew that I wasn't a chatty guy when it came to getting tattooed. Also, I'm pretty certain that she knew why I was getting this tattoo. The beautifully broken woman who stole my heart.

Isabella Swan.

An hour and half later, Rose finished my tat and wiped me down. I sat up and walked to the mirror, checking out my newest ink. "Rose, it's perfect. Thank you."

"I know who it represents. But why did you get it?" Rose asked as she put her chin on my shoulder.

"I love her, Rose. She'll probably freak out and yell at me for not having her do it, but I want it to be a surprise," I smiled. "It'll be hard to hide it, though."

"Why? Are you fucking like porn stars?" Rose snickered.

"No, Rose. We're taking it very, very slowly. I don't want to make love to her and cause her to have a flash back," I cringed.

"Not many men would have your patience, Whip," Rose said as she hugged me. "When I met you, I pegged you as a complete fucktard. But, under the cocky, hard as nails exterior, you're a good man."

"Shit, my secret's out," I snorted.

"It's hard to hide, when you're good in here, Edward," Rose said as she put her hand above my heart. "Enough mushy crap. We have a shop to run."

"How much do I owe you?" I asked.

"Let me pierce your cock and we're even," Rose snickered.

"No, Rose. Money. How much money?" I asked.

"Nothing, Edward. We're family," Rose replied as she kissed my cheek. I gave her an appreciative smile and gingerly eased my jeans over my newest tattoo. Rose offered to wrap me up but I knew the procedure. I'd do it when went to the bathroom. The only hands I wanted anywhere near my junk were Bella's. I had a hard enough time with Rose inking me on my hip. I grabbed the necessary materials and went to tape up my swan.

I went back to my station and my appointment was waiting for me. She was a recently divorced woman who wanted her first tattoo. She originally was scheduled with Angela but didn't feel comfortable with her. She looked too much like her ex-husband's mistress. Angela, while pissed off about losing a client, asked who she would like to do her tattoo. After careful consideration, she decided on me after looking through my book. She gave me her idea, a caterpillar morphing into a beautiful butterfly with the words 'A New Beginning' underneath.

"Hi Ria," I said as I held out my hand. "How are you doing?"

"Nervous as fuck, Edward," she mumbled. "Am I making a mistake?"

"Come into my office," I chuckled as I led her to my station. "Why are you getting this tattoo?"

"To separate myself from my ex-husband and his picture of what a perfect wife should be," Ria answered. "And because it's pretty. I loved the sketch you did."

"There's more to it," I said as I leaned forward, looking into Ria's gray eyes.

"I want to feel pretty like the butterfly," she answered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Ria, you are pretty. Your ex-husband is a fucking moron for not loving you enough. He was a douche for cheating on you," I said. "I'm probably breaking every tattoo artists' code, but you don't need this to make you pretty."

"Damn, I wish you were single," Ria said with a watery laugh.

"If I was, I'd date you," I said honestly. "However, my girlfriend doesn't share well. Only child and all." Ria giggled. She looked up at me. "Do you want to get this tattoo?"

"Just the butterfly," she answered. "Not the rest and make it pretty."

"Like you," I said with my crooked grin. "Colorful, right?"

"A rainbow," she replied.

"Got it. I'm going to freestyle your butterfly on your ribs. That's where you want it, right?"

"Yep. Let's do this shit." She lifted her tank top and stuffed it into her bra. I took out a pen and drew out a very abstract butterfly with flowers and swirls. I had her go to the mirror and check out her butterfly. "Oh, Edward."

I stood behind her. "You like it?"

"It's gorgeous," she breathed. I gave her a reassuring smile and led her back to the table. I set up my gun, inks and gave her another look. Ria gave me a confident nod and I began working on her ribs. As I worked on her, Ria let out a low hiss. I told her to breathe through it. Rose and Angela came to look at my work when I was half way through her tattoo. Rose's beaming grin told me that I did good. Angela looked a bit pissed. Honestly, I was a better tattoo artist than she was and she had done this a lot longer than her.

I worked on Ria for nearly three hours, perfecting the shading and the colors for her butterfly. Once I was done, I wiped down her skin and assisted her to stand up. She gave me a shaky grin. I grabbed her a bottle of water and she sipped it quietly. "No regrets?" I asked.

"I haven't seen it yet," she said, her tone filled with sarcasm. I rolled my eyes and helped her to the mirror. She blew out a breath and looked at her tattoo. "Holy fucking hell."

"Is that a good 'holy fucking hell' or a bad one?" I asked as I nibbled on my fingernail.

"An awesome one," Ria squealed. She turned around and hugged me tightly. I stumbled slightly but returned her embrace. "It's absolutely breathtaking, Edward. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I said. "Do you mind if I take a picture of it for my portfolio?"

"Only if you send me a copy of the man who might have changed my life," Ria said.

"Done. Rose?" I called.

"Already on it," Rose said as she led Ria to a corner of the shop. She snapped a few pictures and then had me get in the picture with Ria. We smiled as Rose took the picture. I led Ria back to my station and taped her up. As she adjusted her shirt, I calculated her total. We finished our transaction and she gave me a huge tip. I wished her luck and she left. "Edward, that was the best tattoo I've ever seen!"

"Thanks, Rose," I said as I slumped in my seat. She massaged my shoulders and then patted my back before heading back to her station. I cleaned up and went to check the books for Emmett. While I was putzing on the computer, Jasper came in with a large envelope. "Hey, Jas."

"This is for you, Edward," Jasper said as he handed me the envelope. I arched a brow and tore into the large manila envelope.

Dear Mr. Cullen,

Congratulations! You've been accepted to University of Washington, Seattle…

"Wait a minute," I said. "I just wanted you to check out my application. Not submit it. I wasn't done."

"Yeah, you were, buddy boy. I expedited your application and based off your ACT scores and high school transcripts, you were a shoe in," Jasper said with a wide grin. "You can start in the summer. Do you know what you want to major in?"

"Psychology, with a minor in music," I replied. "I really made it in?"

"Dude, you're a fucking genius. A perfect score on your ACTs and the class valedictorian? I never realized how brilliant you were, Edward," Jasper said shockingly.

"Okay, enough, Jasper," I said. "I'm smart. Book smart. Street smart? Not so much."

"No, you're street smart. Now," Jasper clarified. "Oh, and my girlfriend called. Your girlfriend got a brand new wardrobe. So did you, buddy boy. You need to match your house or something. I could hear Bella crying in the background."

"God, what torment did Alice impart on Bella?" I asked as I took out my cell phone.

Surviving Alice? – E

Kill. Me. Now. – B

Nah, I like you too much. What's she doing? – E

I'm getting my haircut, body waxed and beautified. I swear, the troll is dead. Pavement pizza. A pile of dirt…save me, Whip! PLEASE! – B

I bet you look absolutely gorgeous – E

That's not the point, Edward. This is worse than withdrawals. I'd rather be puking than getting my hoo ha waxed – B

I spit out my water that I was drinking and stared at my phone. "Your girlfriend is torturing my girlfriend with waxing. Of the intimate variety," I squeaked.

"Edward might be getting some," Jasper smirked.

"Go touch some young minds, Dr. Whitlock," I said.

"Make sure you sign up for intro to American History, 1800 to 1945," Jasper said. "That's my class. HIS 135. Do it, Cullen. Just do it."

I shook my head and picked up my phone. I'm sorry about the torture that Alice is doing to you. I had my own torture today. Remember? Alice biting my lip and scarring me for life? – E

Pittance compared to getting all the hair ripped out of your poonani . Do you want me to wax your balls? – B

Fuck. No. – E

Come on. It'll be fun! – B

I manscape. So, no need for waxing my pubes – E

Fine. I'm almost done with my time in hell. Next up is my time with the crazies. GROUP THERAPY. You think they can include Alice? She's just as loopy as we are – B

No harm in asking. Love you – E

Love you too – B

I slipped my cell phone back in my pocket and finished out my day. Emmett came in for close and I went home. I stopped by my apartment to pick up my mail. Then, I drove home to Bellevue. I stripped off my clothes in the bedroom and took a shower. I rubbed in some lotion into my new tattoo and pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I decided to try and make some dinner. I got out some ground beef and a jar of pasta sauce. I made some simple Bolognese and let it simmer on the stove. I plopped down on the couch and watched television until Alice and Bella came back.

They rolled in soon after I sat down. Alice breezed in first, carrying several bags in her arms. Her hair was freshly coiffed. Bella came in after her with a defeated walk. However, she looked absolutely ravishing. Her hair was cut and freshly highlighted, hanging over her shoulders in soft curls. Since I knew her, her short angular cut had grown out. Her brows were shaped and her makeup was soft smoky. "Bella, you look gorgeous."

"I'm walking funny," Bella grumbled. She swatted at Alice's arm. Alice giggled and went up to our bedroom. "I did buy a home waxing kit so you can feel the joy of getting your pubic hair ripped out of her skin."

"You'd have to catch me first, Bella. There is NO WAY in hell that the wax is coming anywhere near my balls. First you want to pierce my cock and now you want to wax my boys? What is your fascination with my junk?" I joked.

"I want to ride your baloney pony," she said, flipping her hair over shoulder. "For the first time since my attack, I actually feel like a woman. So much that next week, you will be doing some piercing, Whip. Ready to pierce my clit?"

"You still want me to?" I asked.

Bella sat down next to me, lacing her fingers with mine. "You're the only one I trust," she whispered. "Besides, I want to feel your tongue on my pussy."

"So, you still want me to go down on you before I pierce your clit?" I asked, gulping audibly. She nodded. "I don't want the first time I do that to be in the shop. Would you be opposed to a dress rehearsal here?"

"Not today. My poon hurts right now. However, this weekend would be awesome," Bella purred as she straddled my waist. I grimaced as her knee rubbed against my hip. "You okay?"

"I ran into the counter today. Huge bruise on my hip," I lied. "Hurts like a mother fucker."

"Do you want some ice?" Bella asked.

"No, I'm fine," I said as I pulled her closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and nestled close to me. I buried my nose into her hair and inhaled deeply. "You smell delicious."

"It's that fancy shit at the salon that Alice took me to," Bella said as she scratched my scalp.

"Bella, I put your clothes into your closet, along with…" Alice said. "You aren't fucking are you?"

"Yes, Dwarf. Harder, Edward. I want to feel your cock in my tight pussy," Bella said as she swiveled her hips.

"Oh, baby," I moaned, playing along. "You're so wet!"

"Gah!" Alice shrieked as she ran out of the house, slamming the door shut.

"You think she's gone?" Bella asked.

"I hope so," I smirked.

xx EC: AWIP xx

On Sunday, the morning dawned dreary and cloudy. Bella was curled up on the bed. I was spooned protectively beside her. I kissed her E tattoo. It had healed nicely and practically jumped off her skin. I slid out of bed and took a quick shower. My tattoo was in the scabby, icky phase but was going to be bad ass when it was healed. I still had a few more days before it was worthy for Bella's eyes.

I picked up the house and lit a few candles while Bella slept. I got a phone call from my mom saying that she was still planning on coming around noon. We were going to the restaurant in the Space Needle. Bella never been there and my mom insisted on going. I made some breakfast for Bella; some toast, fresh fruit and coffee. I put it on a tray that I found and carried it up to the sleeping angel in my bed. Or rather, snoring angel.

How can someone so small make such a loud noise?

I shook my head and carried the tray into the bedroom. I placed the tray on the small table near the windows of the bedroom and went to brush Bella's hair away from her face. "Bella? Wake up," I cooed quietly.

"Noooooooo," she groaned as she rolled over onto her side, facing away from me. "Having a wonderful dream. Whipping Boy was feeding me peeled grapes while he was naked."

"That can be arranged," I snickered.

Bella's head popped up. "Really?"

"No. Roll over, Bane," I said.

"Bane?"

"You were the bane of my existence up until a few months ago. You call me Whip," I said as went to get the tray of her breakfast.

"It works," Bella said thoughtfully. I put the tray of food over her legs. She eyed me warily. "You didn't spit on it, did you?"

"Seriously?"

"Kidding, Whip. I'm kidding. Thank you," she said. "What time is it?"

"A little after ten. My mom is going to be here around twelve and we have reservations at one," I answered.

"I'm going to shower and try to make myself look decent for your mother. She's so going to hate me," Bella grumbled.

"No, she won't. We've been over this," I huffed. "Just be yourself and she'll love you."

"Be a hardnosed bitch with a surly attitude? That will definitely warm the cockles of her heart," Bella snapped.

"Be my Bella. The sweet woman with a snarky attitude," I said, gazing into her cinnamon orbs. She sighed and got out of bed, leaving her breakfast untouched. I picked up the tray and went to get dressed for lunch. I went into our closet and found a garment bag with a note on it. It was addressed to me.

Whipping Boy,

Attempt to look like a decent human being. Comb your hair. Put on cologne. Wear clothes that fit. Like these…your mother will definitely approve and the green matches your eyes. Don't scoff at me, boy. Do it. Or I will tell Bella about your newest ink.

Love,

Your incestuous sister

In the garment bag was a pair of black pants, a black t-shirt and a green sweater. At least you're not wearing a tie. Gah! At the bottom of the bag was a pair of black shoes and a pair of socks. "Jeez, Alice, why don't you pick out my boxers, too?" I said out loud.

"She did. They're in the pocket of the pants," Bella said.

"Holy fuck," I said as jumped a foot in the air. Bella guffawed and pointed at me. "Funny, Swan. Really funny. I nearly pissed my pants because of your invisibility towel and you laugh."

"It was pretty hysterical. Anyhow, she did the same for me," Bella said as she pointed to her own garment bag. "She's got me wearing heels. At least I won't look like a child standing next to you."

"Bella, trust me when I say that you do not look like a child," I said dryly.

"Sure, Edward. I have no boobs and yeah, don't get me started on my hips," Bella said, arching a brow.

"You really don't see yourself clearly, do you?" I asked. Bella shrugged. I grabbed her hand and dragged her back to the bathroom. I stood behind her in the mirror. "Bella, you are the most gorgeous woman I've ever known. Inside and out. Sure, you've been dealt a shit hand of cards, but you didn't let it break you."

"But it did," she said, capturing my eyes in the mirror.

"No, you didn't. You hit a bump in the road. Just like me. When you look in the mirror, you should be proud of yourself. You've been clean for three months. You're getting healthy. I don't feel your ribs anymore," I said. "But look. Do you know what I see?"

"I don't know," she said, ducking her head.

I gently lifted her chin and forced Bella to look at her reflection. "I see a woman with alabaster skin that glows. When you blush, it looks like rose petals across your skin. Your eyes are the color of cinnamon and they sparkle when you laugh. Your lips are the most perfect shape. The lower lip is slightly larger than the top one, easier for me to nibble on. Your voice is sweet and rough. Your breasts are perfect, Bella. I haven't had the opportunity to fully acquaint myself with them, but they fit perfectly in my hand and I can't wait to taste you. I can't wait to see you blush from head to toe. I can only imagine how exquisite you are when you are like that."

"Like what?" she breathed.

"Climaxing," I said against her ear. I licked the shell on her earlobe and pulled her flush to my body. My arousal was pressed between us. "Coming. Bella, you deserve to be worshipped and I intend to. You just say the word and I will."

"Now, please?" she whimpered.

"Now would not be appropriate. My mother is going to be here in less than an hour. I'm going to take a lot longer than that," I said as I swirled my tongue over her E tattoo. "Besides, when you get your clit piercing, it'll take some time to heal."

"Fuck the piercing. I need to feel you. Now," she moaned.

"Later, love," I said, looking at her in the mirror. Her chest was heaving and her face was flushed. "I promise." Bella pouted and I kissed her neck. I turned and went to get dressed. I pulled on the boxer briefs quickly so Bella wouldn't see my tattoo and got dressed in the closet. Once I was done, I went into the bathroom and found Bella curling her hair. I swiped some gel and ran it through my unruly locks. I dabbed on some cologne.

"You look really nice, Edward," Bella said, giving me a sincere grin. "Sexy. I'd do you."

"I hope you'd do me," I smirked. "Just let me know when and I'll rock your world."

"You totally did not say that," Bella snorted.

"Oh, but I did," I snickered, a blush covering my pale cheeks. You're a moron, Cullen. Lack of pussy is taking away your swagger.

"You're just so stinking cute," Bella giggled as she pinched my cheek.

"That's so not what I was aiming for," I deadpanned. "Get dressed, woman. Before I fuck you on this counter."

"What if I want you to fuck me on this counter?"

Do not act like a caveman. Worship her. Love her. Give her the respect she deserves. "Later, beautiful." I dipped her in a passionate kiss and headed downstairs. I went to the music room and sat down at the piano. I just started playing. Anything. A Beethoven Sonata. A jazz piece by David Brubeck. Bella's lullaby.

"I forgot how talented you were."

I jumped slightly and saw my mom standing in the music room. I smiled. "Hi, Mom," I said as I stood up, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "How did you get in?"

"I had the key from when Grandfather was sick," Esme explained. "I didn't mean to intrude…"

"No, Mom. It's fine. We're just dealing with a situation. That's why we're here. You remember the girl that was in the hospital? Bella?"

"She's your girlfriend?" Esme asked.

I nodded and continued, "The guy that raped her, he's still out there. I think I saw him a week or so ago and that's why we moved into the…the…whatever this is called. Anyhow, we moved here for the extra security. You just startled me. I didn't know you had a key."

"I'm sorry, honey," Esme said as she smoothed my hair. "You look good, Edward. Healthy. Happy. Being in love suits you."

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"Oh yeah," Esme snickered. "Come on. I want to show you something in your grandfather's study."

"Okay," I said, arching my brow. I followed my mom into the office. She told me to remove the picture behind the desk. I did so and beneath it was a safe. "What's in there?"

"You know the jewelry that is left to you? It's in there," Esme whispered. She reached up and opened the safe. "There's something in here that you might want to use. Sooner rather than later." She pulled out a medium sized box and unlocked it. Esme opened and closed a few smaller boxes until she found the one she was looking for. She placed the tiny velvet box in my hands. I opened it up and inside was a gorgeous ring. It was round cut diamond surrounded by two marquis shaped diamonds and baguettes. "When you're ready, you'll give that to your girl."

"An engagement ring? Nana's engagement ring?" I squeaked. "I can barely take care of myself…"

"You've been living with her for how long? Edward, I've noticed this change in you. I have my son back. Not the distant, spiteful asshole that we kicked out of the house ten years ago. My son, who's green eyes sparkle, who's face lights up when he smiles, who's in love. Edward, trust me. You'll be married to her. I have a feeling."

I handed her back the ring and she put it in the box in the safe. As she locked up the safe, I kept thinking, Am I ready to propose? Will she say yes? Will she run away?

Too soon. It was too soon. When the time was right, I'll propose.

"Edward?" Bella called. I put the painting back on the wall and led my mom to meet Bella. "I was wondering where you were…" she said as she saw me with my mom. "Hello, Mrs. Cullen."

"Esme, sweetie. And it'll be Masen, soon," Esme winked. "You are quite lovely, Bella."

"Thank you," Bella muttered quietly. She was wearing a gray tank top with some beading at the neckline, a paisley gray skirt with silver heels. In her hands was a burgundy purse. "My old roommate took me shopping and this was the result."

"Well, it is very fetching," Esme said as she walked over to Bella and gave her a hug. Bella returned the embrace stiffly, not accustomed to such affection. "Are you ready to go?"

"Of course, Mrs.…Esme," Bella corrected herself. Bella smiled timidly as she walked slowly over to me. I wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed her forehead. Bella leaned against my side, almost gathering strength from me. I could feel her heartbeat stammer and she was trembling slightly. She was truly nervous.

"Do you want to drive together, Mom?" I asked.

"No, we'll go separately. I'm heading back to Port Angeles after lunch. I have a date with several women from the club," Esme smiled. I nodded and picked up my car keys. Esme went out to her car and we locked up the house, following her to the Space Needle. Once there, I parked the car while Esme used the valet. We checked in with the hostess at the base of the Space Needle and headed up in the elevator.

We got settled into our seats. Our waiter approached and offered us something to drink. Bella and I ordered water. Esme ordered a glass of wine. I could tell that Bella was apprehensive about the alcohol on the table, but I gently rubbed her bare knee. The waiter returned and asked to take our orders. I asked for some more time and he scampered off. Bella looked the menu. Her eyes bugged out at the prices. So did mine. I had been to the restaurant before, but I was twelve. The prices went up significantly. Esme told us that it was her treat.

Bella poked my sides and asked what several things were. She obviously hadn't been to a fancy restaurant before. I asked if she wanted me to order for her. She nodded and visibly relaxed. Once the waiter returned, we placed our orders.

"So, Bella, what do you do?" Esme asked.

"I'm a tattoo artist," Bella answered quietly. "However, I'm taking some time off. For medical reasons."

"Are you okay, dear?" Esme questioned.

"Mom," I said, shaking my head 'no.'

"Edward, It's okay. I need to talk about it. I can be discreet," Bella replied, lacing her fingers with mine underneath the table. "I was raped Esme. It was particularly brutal…"

"Oh my," Esme gasped.

"Because of my injuries, I had a hysterectomy. I had horrible nightmares. I couldn't sleep. So, I ran away. I went on a bender. I nearly overdosed on cocaine. Again, Edward found me and forced me into rehab," Bella mumbled. "I've been in an outpatient facility for the past few months. I'm better, but I have a long way to go."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Esme said sympathetically. "If you ever need to talk, feel free to call me."

"Thank you, Esme," Bella whispered as she hid her face with her hair. "You don't have to…"

"Not about the rape, but about the hysterectomy," Esme said. "Edward is my only son because I had a great deal of complications with him. He was a big baby and as you can see, I'm pretty tiny. I had a c-section with him but they couldn't save my uterus due to some extensive bleeding. I had a hysterectomy at the age of thirty."

"And I thought you didn't give me brothers and sisters because you stopped at perfection," I joked, trying to lighten the mood. Esme laughed. Bella giggled quietly next to me.

"You were a perfect child, Edward. You still are. We were imperfect parents," Esme said with a frown. "Anyhow, we're working on that, right?"

"Right," I said, giving my mom a reassuring smile.

"So, Bella, when are you going to head back to the shop?" Esme asked.

"I'm hoping this week. I'm going crazy being babysat," Bella sighed. "I need to get back to tattooing. I've been working on this sketch for Edward. He tattooed me about a week and a half ago and I want to return the favor."

"Can I see?" Esme asked. Bella nodded and pulled her hair back, displaying the E I placed on her neck. "Edward, that is exquisite. You are very talented."

"Thanks," I blushed. "Bella's better. She did this really unique tattoo on my ribs before her attack. I'll show it to you the next time I see you. I don't think it's appropriate to show off chest tats in the restaurant."

"Probably not," Esme giggled.

Our meals were delivered and we tucked into our food. Bella approved of her meal with a quiet hum. "Edward was actually my apprentice. Out of everyone that I've worked with, Edward was the best young tattoo artist I've trained. He picked it up so quickly. He's a natural," Bella said, her cinnamon eyes beaming with pride.

"Yeah, well, my tattooing days may become limited," I grimaced.

"Why?" Bella asked. "You're such an asset to the shop."

"I applied to U Dub and I got in," I said, a crimson flush covering my features.

"You're going to college?" Esme squeaked. "Oh, Edward!"

"I gave the application to Jasper to have him look at it. He turned it in for me and had it expedited. I'm going to be signing up for classes starting in the summer," I grinned.

Bella gave a quiet shriek and threw her arms around my neck. I felt her tears fall onto my sweater and I hugged her tightly. "I'm so proud of you, Whip," she murmured against my neck.

"This is wonderful news! What are you going to major in, Edward?" Esme asked.

"Psychology with a minor in music," I answered, staring at my steak. "I want to help people. Like me. Like Bella. Help addicts get over the addiction. I made a few calls and spoke with someone in the psychology department. I can get my undergrad in two years if I overload my classes. My doctorate in two years after that. Even though I fought Carlisle, I'm still going to be a doctor."

"A psychologist," Esme corrected. I rolled my eyes and continued eating my lunch. We finished our meals and ordered some dessert. I went to go to the bathroom. I took care of my business and washed my hands. When I walked back to the restaurant, I saw my mom sitting next to my girl, hugging her tightly. Bella was returning the embrace. Esme was whispering in Bella's ear and Bella was nodding minutely, a watery smile gracing her beautiful features. I ran my hand through my hair and walked back to our booth. I slid in, facing my two favorite girls. They broke apart. Esme gently wiped Bella's cheeks with her thumbs. "I'll always be here for you, Bella. If want to talk, vent, complain about my son…anything." Bella giggled.

"Hey!" I said in mock disdain. "Right here."

"Oh, hello, offspring," Esme teased.

"Hmmm," I grumbled, arching my pierced brow.

"So, Edward, when does the summer semester start?" Esme asked.

"May 15th," I answered. "I'm going to register for classes sometime this week. I'm hoping to get into the classes that I need, the requisite classes like English and science. I want to get those done and then focus on my major."

"You'll do wonderfully, Edward. You were always such a good student. Did you know that he was the class valedictorian and was offered a full ride to Dartmouth?" Esme said with a proud smile.

"I did. He's extraordinarily smart," Bella said, grinning at me. "One of the many things I love about him. That and his unending patience with my crap."

"My son, while misguided at times, has the biggest heart," Esme said, squeezing my hand. "Anyhow, I do hate to cut this short. I have a hike back up to Port Angeles." Esme spotted our waiter and asked for the check. Without glancing at the total, she slipped her credit card into the black folder. "Bella, you are a lovely young woman. I look forward to getting to know you better."

"Thank you, Esme," Bella blushed. "And thanks for the advice."

"No problem, sweetie," she replied, tucking Bella's hair behind her ear. The waiter returned with the folder. Esme handed me the bill and I quickly tabulated the tip, just when I was younger. I slipped the folder back to Esme and she signed the receipt, pocketing her copy. We stood up and hugged. "Call anytime, Bella. I mean it."

"I will, Esme," Bella said with a grateful smile.

"Edward," Esme said as she turned toward me. "I love you, my sweet boy." Bella scoffed quietly. I shot her a look as I hugged my mom. "Treat Bella right or you will have to deal with my wrath."

"Yes, Mother," I sighed as I kissed her cheek. "I love you and call me when you get home. Please?"

"I will, Worryward," Esme said, ruffling my hair.

We walked to the elevators and my mom headed down. With a lot of wheedling, I convinced Bella to go up to the observatory. It was windy and a little chilly. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against my chest. "So, how did you like my mom?" I asked.

"She's really nice. The total opposite of you," Bella teased.

"You know, I can walk away and you'd freeze your ass off," I said as I released her waist. I moved about five feet away, leaning on the ledge.

"Okay, okay. You're an angel, Edward. One of the nicest guys, just like your mother," Bella said as she danced back and forth. "I'm freezing. I need your body to keep me warm. Please?"

"Since you said please," I said as I gathered her in my arms. I rubbed my hands over her body, using the friction to warm her up. "What did my mom say? The advice?"

"Tips on how to handle you," Bella snickered against my green cashmere sweater. "How to get over the depression of what happened. Not the rape, but…"

"I understand," I said against her soft hair.

"It's so hard for me to feel like a woman when what essentially made me a woman is gone. You've done a fabulous job in making me feel desirable, but I still feel like a freak. I have this nasty scar on my belly because of what happened to me. Of what James did to me."

"Bella, you are beautiful. Did our discussion in the mirror mean nothing to you?" I asked, cupping her face in my hands. "In my eyes, you are the most desirable woman in the world. And I mean it when I want to make you feel cherished, worshiped, desired and loved."

Tears spilled over her cheeks and Bella stood on her tip toes. She pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "Take me home and show me."

A/N: Please don't hate me. I had to end it there. Up next will be a glimpse into Bella's mind, possibly. Also, some cherishing on Edward's part…Leave me love (or hate). Also, check out my tumblr for sneak peaks and links to other parts of this story. Link in my profile ;-)


	18. Chapter 18

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a ruffly red pillow, a new blog (check out the link in my profile), and cheese quesadillas from Chilis. **_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

_**Warning…the first part of this chapter describes Bella's sexual abuse. Not for the faint of heart and you have been warned. **_

**Chapter Eighteen: Love, Cherish and Devotion**

"_It's so hard for me to feel like a woman when what essentially made me a woman is gone. You've done a fabulous job in making me feel desirable, but I still feel like a freak. I have this nasty scar on my belly because of what happened to me. Of what James did to me."_

"_Bella, you are beautiful. Did our discussion in the mirror mean nothing to you?" I asked, cupping her face in my hands. "In my eyes, you are the most desirable woman in the world. And I mean it when I want to make you feel cherished, worshiped, desired and loved." _

_Tears spilled over her cheeks and Bella stood on her tip toes. She pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "Take me home and show me."_

**BPOV**

Edward looked at me and his eyes widened slightly. His large warm hands cupped my face and he stared into my eyes. His jade orbs penetrating mine. "Are you sure?"

"Never been more sure about anything in my life," I replied in a tiny voice. In actuality I was panicking. I felt like I didn't deserve this man in front of me. He was the largest pain in my ass but his heart was so big. So loving. I can see why he was the way he is after the brief conversation I had with his mom. Esme was everything in a mother that I didn't have.

Sweet.

Kind.

Loving.

Happy.

Not violent.

But she wasn't perfect. Esme had her faults. She kicked her 18 year old son out of the house because he didn't adhere to the rules set forth by Edward's father. I could tell that that decision will forever weigh on her mind and heart. She loved Edward. She hated what she did to him.

But it was because of what she did to him that he got his strength. If only I had an ounce of that. I could get through my life without the constant pain. I hated my life. I hated my decisions. I hated so many things. The only thing that was positive in my life was Edward.

However, I was going to taint him. Spread my cancer to his good soul. Selfishly, I wanted to gather him in my arms and never let him go. But my mind pretty told me that he was going to see how fucked up I am and dump my ass. He's going to see that I'm irreparably damaged. First by my foster brother and then again by James. I don't want my relationship with Edward to be another thing I have to survive. My mind, my heart, my soul cannot handle that. I may finish what I started in that dingy hotel room if…

_Stop it, Bella. _

"Bella?" Edward asked his velvety smooth voice. I looked over at him in the car. His jade green depths searching mine as we were stopped at a stoplight. "What you are thinking about?"

"A lot of things," I murmured. I shot a glance at him and blushed slightly. His gaze was filled with such love.

_You never experienced that before. No one loved you, bitch. _

_Before him…_

My upbringing was crap. Total and utter shit. I was born to the crack addict Renee Swan in the lovely city of Phoenix. She was a drunk. A drug addict. A violent woman who beat the shit out of me when she couldn't get her fix. A violent women who beat the shit out of me after her Johns beat the shit out of her.

It became too much for me. I went to school one day and I was covered head to toe in bruises. My teacher told the principal and the principal told social services. When I got home from school, I received another horrid beating but was saved by the wonderful social worker who came for a well-child visit. She heard my screams and burst through the door with a police officer. I was dragged from my mother's clawing fingers by Jeanette, my social worker. I was placed in foster care soon after. I was bounced from home to home for a year.

I was eventually placed with an older gentleman named Billy. He was nice. Billy actually showed me some level of love while I lived with him. He took care of me and for the first few months I was with him, I was pretty happy. But Billy was in a car accident and ended up being paralyzed for the waist down. I was so afraid that I was going to be bounced to another home. Billy insisted that I stay with him. While Billy was recovering, his son, Jacob came to live with us.

Yeah, he scared me.

For the first year, Jacob just gave me leering and scary looks. I was only fourteen and still looked like a baby. I was a late bloomer. Once I grew into my body, Jacob would sneak into my room at night. At first, he'd just watch me. I pretended that he wasn't there. But I was painfully aware of this fact. I begged and pleaded that he would get bored with me and leave.

He didn't.

Each night he continued coming into my room. Just watching.

My sexual abuse began on my sixteenth birthday. Billy had taken Jacob and I out for my birthday. He had a few too many drinks and passed out in his bed. I went to bed. Like normal. Jacob came into my room. Like normal. Except not. Jacob skulked to my full-sized bed and covered my mouth with his meaty hand. His twenty year old body pressed up against mine and I could feel him.

"Don't scream. Don't yell. Don't fight," he said as he ran his nose along my jaw. "You'll enjoy my present for you, baby."

I whimpered but didn't offer any resistance. Jacob ripped my clothes from my body and shoved his penis into me. I cried out as he penetrated my body for the first time. He backhanded me, telling me to shut up. I stopped crying and let him pound into me. He grunted saying that I was so tight and so wet. I had no idea what that meant. I didn't care. I just wanted his sweaty body off of mine. With a final thrust, he came inside my body and collapsed against me. He pulled out and glared at me.

"Make sure your wash your sheets. You fucking bled all over them," Jacob said coldly. He pulled up his pants and slammed the door shut. As soon as he was gone, I scrambled to the bathroom and scoured my body, washing all evidence of Jacob ever touching me. I stripped my sheets, throwing them in the garbage and slept on the floor. I couldn't bear to sleep in that bed where my innocence was lost.

The cycle repeated every night with Jacob. He'd come into my room. Rape me and then threaten me to not tell anyone by strangling me or punching me. I never did. The one time I tried to tell a teacher, I was called down to the office and was escorted to the hospital. Billy had fallen out of bed and broke his hip.

On Jacob's 22nd birthday in July, he drove us to a small cabin. It belonged to a friend of his. Jacob told me that he had something special planned for us. I cringed at that. Little did I know that plan included me getting raped 22 times that day. On that night, my son was conceived. But I had no clue.

I was feeling sick all through August and September. When I turned 18 on September 13th, I packed up my meager belongings into the red truck that Billy gave me and I left Phoenix. I drove all day and all night until I got to Seattle. Why I chose Seattle, I have no clue. But it seemed far enough away from Jacob. My illness did not go away either. I could barely keep any food down and I had no idea why. So, I went to an urgent care clinic. I gave a fake address and was checked out by a doctor. He told me that I was three months pregnant. I wanted to die. He asked me if I wanted the baby and I said no. However, I refused to abort it. The doctor gave me a name of an adoption agency and I contacted them the next day.

They set me up with a family that wanted and loved my baby. They took care of all my doctor's visits, prenatal care and even set me up in a tiny apartment near their home. I went into labor in the morning on March 26th. They drove me to the hospital and stayed with me as I screamed for nearly eighteen hours straight. Once the baby was delivered, he was placed in his mother's arms and I was wheeled back to my room. Alice eventually found me as I was bawling in my hospital bed and she helped me. I moved out of my apartment and in with her. She got me the help that I needed but it barely scratched the surface. I had been broken down so many times by Jacob that I was so hesitant to trust anybody.

I still don't.

Really.

Except for Edward but I keep him at arm's length. I don't want to, though.

"Bella? We're home, love," he said softly. I sighed and got out of the car. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and stared into my eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I don't know, Edward," I whispered. "I'm so afraid."

"Bella," he said, caressing my cheeks with his soft hands. "I don't want to push you. Obviously, you're still struggling. It's not right. You're questioning it."

"You're right. I'm not ready. But I want to feel closer to you," I sniffled.

"Love, I don't need to make love to you in order to feel close to you," he said as he led us inside. He sat us down on the couch in the living room. "Why are you so hell bent on pushing yourself into something that you are clearly not comfortable doing?"

"I feel bad," I said. "Guilty."

"Why do you feel guilty?" Edward asked, raising his brow.

"I want to make you feel good," I said, playing with my skirt. "You've been so awesome and I feel like I should repay you."

"Bella, you breathing is enough," he said sincerely. "We thought you were dead. Just having you here and alive is worth more than…than a quick release."

"Part of it is for me too," I said, looking into Edward's gorgeous eyes. "I need to know that I can be with you and not freak out. That you can touch me and I won't be brought back to the time when Jacob raped me every day or what James did to me."

"Bella, I can touch you," he said as he swept his knuckles along my cheek and down my jaw.

"Not like that, Edward," I replied. "I want to feel your hands on me. Like in the shower the first morning we were here. I want to feel your mouth. Your lips. Your tongue. Your…cock." I blushed furiously at the last statement. I desperately wanted to feel him. All of him. Inside me and making me feel good. But I was so fearful that I couldn't handle it. That with one wrong move, I'd be thrown back to the darkest time in my life.

"Love, I want to be that man who is with you forever. We have all the time in the world to explore our bodies. You need to be comfortable with yourself before I can even begin to touch you sexually," he said as he pulled me into his lap. "Don't get me wrong. I'm dying here. I want to make love to you. I want to make you scream. Out ecstasy. Not fear. If I try anything now, that's what it's going to be. Fear. Not love and pleasure. You say you're ready, but you're not."

"How did you become so fucking smart, Whip?" I asked, smiling slightly.

"It's a gift," he snorted.

"I still want you to pierce my clit," I said, arching my brow. "I still want you to go down on me before you do."

"And I promise to do so," he smirked. _Fucking smirk. Gah!_ "But not yet. And I refuse to go down on you for the first time in the shop. We will be having a dress rehearsal. I've said this before and I'm sticking to it."

"I know that we're not making love today but I need to feel you. Can you take a bath with me?" I asked, blushing.

He smiled crookedly and nodded. He gathered me in his arms and carried me up the stairs to our bathroom. He placed me on the counter of the bathroom and looked at me sheepishly. "Before we get in the bath, I want to show you something," he said, his own blush covering his pale skin.

"What?"

He gave me his crooked smile and removed his clothing. He stopped at his boxer briefs and cupped my chin. "It's still healing," he said quietly. I furrowed my brow. Edward smiled and removed his boxers briefs. On his hip was a tattoo. A new one. It was in the scabby phase but I could tell the overall shape. I ran my fingers over the new ink.

_A swan._

_He loves you. He put your mark on his body. _

"Who did it?" I asked.

"Rose," Edward replied, biting his lip. "I wanted to surprise you with it. Obviously show it to you when it's healed, but that changed. Are you mad?"

"I should be," I snickered. "You got a swan and I didn't put it on you."

"You can still brand me with a 'B,'" Edward said. "Right here." He pointed to the middle of his forehead. "Or whatever you want to brand me with."

"Bella's bitch?" I laughed. "Right on your ass."

He turned around and shook his tush in my face. I smacked it and giggled. He turned back around and pulled me to the edge of the counter. "I don't care what you put on me. I'm yours, Bella. This," he said as he took my hand and placed it on his chest, over his heart, "will never belong to anyone else."

I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to control my emotions from spilling over. He's seen enough of my tears. He just proclaimed that I was it for him. I opened my eyes and stared into his perfect green depths. I laced my fingers with Edward's and placed his hand over my heart. "It's broken, but you're helping me heal. I love you, Edward. Thank you for everything."

"No need to thank me," he said as he pulled me into an embrace. I wrapped my arms and legs around his lean and muscular body. I placed my ear above his heart and listened to the steady thrum. He just held me and ran his fingers along my back. I pulled away and removed my tank top. Edward gave me a smile and filled up the bathtub with water, bubbles and bath salts.

_Thanks, Alice. You made my boyfriend gay. _

Edward turned back to me and assisted me out of the rest of my clothes. What surprised me was that he didn't appraise my body. He just looked into my eyes as he caressed my cheeks. I know I wasn't very attractive. My breasts were too small. My hips were too big. I have a huge scar on my belly from where my uterus was ripped from my body. I have cellulite and my ass jiggles. Compared to Edward, I was a troll. He was gorgeous.

His pale skin was smooth and flawless. He a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose and on his shoulders. His hair was obviously a hot mess, but it was soft and thick. I loved running my hands through it. His eyes were the most enticing shade of green and it changed depending on his mood. They were filled with sadness and anger when I first met him. Now I see more pain but also a great deal of love. His features were angular. His jaw was insane: it could cut glass. His body was lean and muscular. He wasn't very defined but he had the beginnings of a very nice six pack on his belly. But his ass was perfect. You could bounce quarters off those cheeks.

Now, he may be a beautiful human being physically, Edward was also beautiful in his actions and heart. When I met him, I hated him. First class douche. I wanted to chop off his dick for fucking Angela in the bathroom. But, since that transgression, Edward has grown on me. Like a fungus. In a good way, though. He's brilliant. He's talented. He's kind-hearted. He's generous. He's loving. He's everything that I ever wanted in another person. _With a sarcastic tongue and sharp wit. He can keep up with you, Swan. _

"Bella? You're spacing out again," Edward chuckled. He held out his hand and assisted me into the tub. He sat down first and I sat between his legs. I leaned my back against his chest and laced my fingers with his. "What were you thinking about, love?"

"How beautiful you are," I answered honestly.

"I'm not," he said. He pressed a kiss to my shoulder and pulled me closer. "You're the beautiful one. Most beautiful woman in the world."

"Whatever, Edward," I snorted.

"Bella," he growled. "I don't want to drag you out of our nice warm bath and have another mirror talk with you."

"Sorry," I said.

"Don't apologize. Just learn to accept a compliment when it's given to you," Edward said simply.

"Turnabout's fair play, Cullen. You're just as beautiful," I said, poking him in the belly.

"Thank you," he said as he moved my hair to kiss my E tattoo. "very much."

We sat in the fragrant water silently. Edward's hands glided over my skin. His touch was completely innocent but it was doing everything to make me crazy. His lips caressed my ear, my neck and my shoulder. I shifted in the water letting out a tiny whimper. I laced my fingers with his and led his hand down to my thighs.

_It's not sex. He doesn't resemble Jacob or James. He's kind and loving. Edward would never hurt you._

"Touch me, Edward," I whispered. I looked into his eyes and bit my lip. With one of his hands, he caressed my lip, releasing it from my teeth. "Please?"

"If you are uncomfortable, let me know," he said. I kissed his lips, tracing my tongue along his mouth. Edward moaned as his hand on my thigh glided toward my core.

I wasn't sure how I'd react to his touch. Would I be wet enough? Would he be disappointed with what I had to offer? Would he be repulsed? I'm just a shell of a woman. I am missing the important part that makes me whole. I'm ruined.

"You're not ruined, love," he said.

"Did I say that out loud?" I blushed.

He nodded and kept his fingers running along my thigh. "Bella, I love you. All of you. Scars and all," he said. "Let me make you feel good, beautiful. Trust me."

"I do, Edward," I murmured. I really did trust him. To some extent. But I still had a wall around my heart. It'll take a lot of time to break that down. If it is possible.

"Relax, Bella," Edward cooed in my ear. His tongue ran along the cartilage. I took a deep breath and leaned against Edward's chest. I angled my head over his shoulder and his hand moved to my center. With his fingertip, he gently circled my clit. I inhaled sharply. "Okay?" Not trusting my voice, I nodded. Edward pressed a soft kiss to my neck and his finger moved along my bundle of nerves so tenderly. I never expected a man like him to be such a softie. But his tenderness and loving caresses were so real. "What does it feel like, Bella?"

"So good," I whispered as I arched my back slightly into his touch. With his other hand, Edward moved my face so he could brush his lips against mine. I lifted my hand out of the water and snaked it around his neck. I pulled on his soft hair, trying to get his face closer to mine. "More, Edward…"

He pulled away and stared into my eyes. I swiveled my hips to encourage him to dip his fingers into my waiting body. With a quiet snarl, he moved his hand to my entrance. He slipped just his fingertip inside. I moaned and closed my eyes. "Keep looking at me, Bella," he commanded quietly. "I need to know that I'm not hurting you."

"You're not," I said, opening my eyes. He kissed me and eased his finger into my body. His insanely long finger. I swear his finger was longer than Jacob's dick. He slowly pumped his hand in and out of my body. His lips moved passionately with mine, plunging his tongue into my mouth. With his thumb, he gently manipulated my clit. The moans coming from my body were downright pornographic. I knew I was a bit of a screamer, but I'd never sounded like this before.

"God, I love the noises you make, love," Edward growled as he pulled my earlobe between his teeth. "It's turning me on."

"I can feel how much, Whip," I said as I reached between us. I wrapped my fingers around his cock and began stroking him.

"As good as that feels, Bella, this is about you," he said. "Only you." I stopped my movements and looked into his eyes. "Seeing you come will be the best release I'll ever experience. Please, love?" All the while, his hand was still moving in my body, bringing me closer to the brink. Before I could respond, Edward's mouth covered mine and he added a second finger to my body. He flipped his hand and massaged my g-spot. My movements were spastic at best and a new-found warmth filled my belly. I'd experienced orgasms before but they were not meaningful. It was just a release. Fucking. This was different. I could feel Edward's love being poured out his being.

"Edward," I moaned as I undulated with his thrusts. His hand moved harder and faster in my body and his other hand grasped my hip. The water sloshed out of the tub. My fingers tangled into his hair, pulling on the strands painfully.

"Oh, Bella," he groaned as he continued to work me like a fine tuned instrument. "Fuck, you are so hot. Let go, love. I want to feel you come all over my fingers." His soft seductive voice and his ministrations caused my body to react. My muscles clamped around his hand. I let out a feral scream. Edward grunted and I felt warmth against my back. Edward had gotten off from watching me.

I slumped against his chest and breathed heavily. Edward held me close and pressed soft butterfly kisses to my shoulders and neck. Once I got control of my body and my voice, I turned around. I sat on my knees and looked into Edward's eyes. He lifted his hands from the water and cupped my face. I mirrored his actions. "I love you, Bella. I hope…"

"I love you more than words can possibly say, Edward," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me close. I shivered and we realized that the water had long since lost its heat. Edward popped the plug and picked me up from the tub. He carried me to the bed and placed me between the sheets. Edward slipped in next to me and held me close. I burrowed into his chest, idly playing with his nipple rings as my eyelids grew heavy. Before I slipped into a deep sleep, I smiled.

_I'm not as broken as I thought. Perhaps there's hope for me yet. _

**A/N: There's a glimpse into Bella's head. She's one fucked up little girl. It's going to take some serious help to get her back to normal. But Edward is the man for the job. And to answer some questions…James will be making his return. When you least expect it. Because I'm shady like that….bwahaha! Leave me love. Spank you very much ;-)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**

**Things I own: a dog that gets a haircut that is more expensive than mine, a mosquito bite on my neck (nasty bloodsucker), and new planner for the new school year (I love being a teacher!) **

**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter Nineteen: One Step Forward…**

**EPOV**

"Are you ready for your first day of school, Whip?" Alice asked in the shop. "Get educated?"

"No. It's been ten years since I've stepped foot in a classroom, Alice," I said nervously. "I'm also worried about Bella. She's gotten distant again."

"You want me to talk to her?" Alice asked.

"Nah. I can't be a pussy. Also, she may be hitting a wall in her recovery. It was around this time in my recovery that I hated the world. I was clean, but the need for drugs was overwhelming. Talking just didn't cut it. That's when I picked up smoking," I chuckled. "It took the edge off, but not really."

"Talk to her. Hopefully that's it," Alice said. "So, when are we shopping for your school clothes?"

"Alice, I'm not your life-sized Ken doll," I said. "I'm not made out of plastic and I have genitalia."

"That we want to pierce," Rose snorted from her station.

"Seriously? I do not want my cock pierced. Why are we so insistent on doing that?" I asked.

"Edward, trust me when I saw that it'll enhanced every feeling in your dick when you make love to your woman," Rose said. "The first time I had sex after I had my clit pierced, I had like twenty orgasms."

"Twenty? Really?" I asked dryly.

"Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit, but it was a lot," Rose said with a wave of her hand.

"I've been toying with the idea of getting my clit pierced," Alice said. "Should I?"

"I recommend it, but how's your pain tolerance, Ali?" Rose asked.

"I dealt with Bella for seven years," Alice giggled. "She's not the easiest person to live with. Right, Whip?"

"I plead the fifth. For some strange reason whatever I say anything negative about my girlfriend, she finds out. She's an awesome roommate," I said with a wide grin. "I love her mucho!"

"You are so whipped, Whip," Rose snorted. I growled and flipped her off. "Alice, if you want me to pierce your clit, I'll do it."

"No, I want Whip to do it," Alice said with an impish grin on her face.

"Okay, that's just weird. Alice, I love you like a sister. I do not want to see your snatch," I shuddered. "Besides, Jasper might kick my ass if I touched your clit or whatever."

"Maybe he can watch," Alice guffawed.

"I'm going for a smoke. Perv," I said as I grabbed my cigarettes. I went out behind the store and took out my cell phone. I sent a brief text to Bella, seeing how she was doing.

Alice wants to take me school clothes shopping…I'm worried about my sexual orientation – E

Ignore her. That's what works for me. She'll usually stop bugging you – B

Unlikely…How's Legacy? – E

I'm ready to gouge my eyes out. Can I call you? I'm on a smoke break – B

Irony of ironies, me too…call away – E

The phone rang and I picked it up. "Bad day?"

"You can say that. I nearly killed Lauren, the front desk bitch. She was going gaga over you again," Bella grumbled. "I'm so going to tattoo property of Bella Swan on your chest or something or make you wear a leash."

"A leash? I'm not a dog, Bella," I snickered.

"When we first met, I compared you to a dog. You humped anything with tits."

"Angela. Just Angela. I've been a fucking monk since, love," I said, arching my brow.

"I know," Bella said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing, Bella?"

"Bad day. Really bad day. I'm really wanting and I'm snapping at everyone. That and I'm coming down with something. I'm all achy," Bella moaned.

"Maybe you can take a nap?" I suggested. "Perhaps they'll give you a Tylenol or something."

"I asked and they said no. No meds," Bella sighed. "I'll just need to deal."

"Feel better," I said, squatting down near the ground.

"I did get some good news, though," Bella said, the excitement in voice was evident.

"What?"

"They're cutting me back to three days a week. I can come back to work and actually pay my way in the huge mansion we live in," Bella said.

"Bella, my grandfather owns the house outright. I'm able to cover the rest of the bills with my salary," I said. "Don't worry about it."

"Edward, I've been self sufficient up until you found me. I need to feel like I'm contributing something," she whined.

"Food. How about food? You can cook like no one's business and my sad state of affairs in the kitchen is much to be desired," I suggested.

"This is true," Bella giggled. "How about food and cable? I'm dying without Top Chef."

"Sold," I said. "I probably need to head back in. Call me later."

"I would say I'd pick up groceries on the way home, but I'm a little broke," Bella said.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow. I'm off from the shop and I need to swing by UDub to buy my books. Holy fuck, I'm a student. I think I'm going to puke."

"No puking. I can't handle anymore puking," Bella snorted. "I'll see you when you get home, Whip."

"Got it, Bane. Love you."

"Love you, too."

I hung up the phone and went back into the shop. I spent the rest of the afternoon working on a few sketches. Alice left me a note saying that she will probably hold off getting her clit pierced but she was insistent that I be the one to do it. I still shuddered about that. I had two walk in customers with simple requests. Around six, I started cleaning up my station. I waved good bye to Emmett who was working with Angela tonight.

I drove home and found Bella asleep on the couch. She had a book lying across her chest. I picked it up and saw that it was one of the books from my grandfather's library. Wuthering Heights. I marked her place and scooped her up from the couch. She whimpered quietly but burrowed against me. As I put her on the bed, I felt her forehead. She was warm. Very warm. I went to the bathroom and searched for a thermometer. I found one and thankfully it was one of the instant ear thermometers. I placed in her right ear and waited for it to ding.

"Shit," I said as I read the temperature. 102.3. I picked up Bella's phone and searched for Dr. Greene's number on her cell. I know she kept on there for emergencies. I dialed it and waited for her to pick up.

"Dr. Greene," she said tersely.

"Dr. Greene, this is Edward Cullen. Bella Swan's boyfriend?"

"Ah yes. What can I do for you, Edward? Is Bella alright?"

"Um, no. She's running a fever. I know that drugs are not technically allowed, but she's obviously got something and I don't want it to get worse," I said.

"How high is her fever?"

"102.3," I replied.

"Give her two Tylenol," Dr. Greene said. "I'll have one of the physicians examine her tomorrow and possibly prescribe an antibiotic if needed. Okay?"

"Thank you," I said. "I'm sorry to disturb you."

"Edward, it's fine. I'd rather you err on the side of caution as opposed to jumping the gun," Dr. Greene said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Thanks again and good night," I said as I hung up. I got up and retrieved two Tylenol and a glass of water. I gently pushed Bella's hair from her face. "Bella?"

"Hmmm," she moaned. She curled up in the bed, clutching her stomach and shivering.

"I know you're tired, but you need to take some medicine, love," I said. Bella's cinnamon eyes opened up and they were glazed over. "What's wrong?"

"Achy. Tired. Throat. Head," she grunted. "Feel like complete ass."

"I called Dr. Greene and she said that you can have two Tylenol," I said as I offered her the pills. She eyed the warily but swiped them from my hand. She chugged them down with the entire bottle of water. She offered me a weak smile and curled back up in the bed. "Do you want anything else?"

"Some hot tea," she said. "And for you to turn on the heat. I'm freezing!"

"I'll give you a sweatshirt, Bella," I said. "It's summertime."

"And the living is easy…" Bella quipped. I rolled my eyes and went to the closet. I grabbed one of my hoodies and pair of flannel pants. I placed them on the bed for Bella. She thanked me and I darted downstairs to make her tea. I also grabbed some soup from a can and heat that up. I made her 'dinner' along with some bread and I carried it back up to the bedroom. She's curled up around my pillow, snoring slightly.

"Bella, I have your tea and some soup," I said, caressing her warm cheek. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled. I placed the tray that I made over her legs and she nibbled on her food. "Is it okay?"

"Even you can't fuck up soup, Whip," she teased. "At least soup out of a can."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Dr. Greene wants you to get checked out by the physicians at Legacy, Bella. You may need an antibiotic."

"I'm fine, Edward. It's probably just a cold or something," Bella said.

"Humor me," I said flatly. "I'll drop you off at Legacy and go grocery shopping while you're getting checked out. Make me a list." Bella's brows shot to her hairline. "I'm not that incompetent."

"Well…"

"Shut it, you. Eat your soup and make a damn list, Bane," I said, shoving a pad of paper and a pen next to her. "I'm going to forage in the freezer for some food. After you make your list, go to sleep."

"Bossy much, Cullen?"

"Yes," I said. "Eat. List. Sleep."

"Ass…"

"We know this, love."

xx EC:AWIP xx

As it turned out, Bella just had a nasty cold. She just had to suffer through it. And she was brutal. I ended up sleeping in another room because when she was sick, Bella turned into a bed hog.

I also managed to get almost everything on her grocery list. I only messed up on getting the lettuce. I ended up getting something called broccoli rabe. Bella tasted it and managed to make some really good stir fry with it. It was bitter but when it was paired with some pasta and sausage, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

I also picked up my books for my first set of classes that I was taking. Intro to psychology, some English lit course, Jasper's history class, a music theory class, math for dummies and biology. I was essentially taking an overload plus working full time. All of my classes were on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. I worked Tuesday, Thursday and Friday nights. Plus alternating Sundays. Bella worked out a schedule that she'd work the days that I was in class. Emmett was over the moon when she said that she was coming back. I was scared shitless that I'd burn myself out.

So, here I am. Standing in front of the music building. Kicking myself to walk into the theory classroom. Thankfully I'd taken an entrance exam and was placed in the second year of theory. I essentially skipped and got credit for a year's worth of courses. It pays to be a genius.

Yeah. Right…keep telling yourself that, genius.

I finally worked up the courage to walk into the building. I adjusted my messenger bag and strode into the classroom. I was handed a syllabus and I slunk back in the rear of the classroom. I took out a notebook, a pencil and nibbled on my fingernail. A cute little bubbly blonde came in and sat down next to me. "Hi!"

"Hello," I said, arching my pierced brow.

"I'm Bethany," she said as she held out her hand.

"Edward," I replied, slightly freaking out by her peppy exterior. She's too fucking happy.

"Are you a transfer student?"

"Something like that. Playing catch up," I said. "You?"

"Trying to graduate early," she said with a dramatic eye roll. "There's a party tonight. You should totally come. Beer and…"

"No. Thank you, though. I have to work tonight," I said.

"Perhaps next time?"

"Doubtful," I said. Can't I just take an independent study? Bethany pouts but ignores me for the rest of class. I take diligent notes and even begin working on my first homework assignment in class. We're dismissed by the professor and I pack my things to go. Bethany tries to encourage me to come to the party but I decline. Again.

I walked through the campus and pretty much followed the same pattern in all of my classes. I had a brief break in the middle of the day where I sat down for some food at a fast food joint. I did some reading and began mapping out a paper for my English class. I grumbled as I figured out that I needed to get a computer or laptop or something. I sent a text to Bella telling her that I was going to swing by an electronic store to pick up a laptop and a printer. I also said I'd pick up some 'Foo.' She texted me back with a picture of her making a kissy face at me.

"Nice, Cullen," Jasper snickered.

"Holy mother fucking Christ, Whitlock," I said as I jumped out of my skin. "Do I need to put a bell around your neck?"

"No," he laughed. "How was your first day of school?"

"I think I'm going to lose my damn mind. 'There's a party!' 'You're cute!' 'Wanna fuck?'" I squeaked like a girl. "Can't I just take independent studies for all of my classes?"

"And miss the college experience? You're no fun, Cullen," Jasper said as he walked with me to his classroom.

"I'm 28, Jas. Oh, excuse me. Dr. Whitlock," I said. "I'm too old for the fucking college experience. If I have another pre-pubescent bimbo flirt with me, I will seriously a cut a bitch."

"Edward, you have this whole 'bad boy' thing going for you. Black jeans. Black shirt. Eyebrow ring. Tongue ring. Tattoos," Jasper explained. "The pre-pubescent college bimbos love this shit. Completely outside of their comfort zone. And if I was gay, I'd do you. You're hot."

"Jasper, that really disturbs me. Since you're going to be my teacher," I said.

"Right now, I'm your friend. Once we go through those doors, I'm your teacher. I won't treat you any differently than my other students. However, if you ever want to talk. My office is always open," Jasper said. "Come on. Let's get you some pre-pubescent free seats. In the front of the room."

"Shoot. Me. Now."

Jasper's suggestion of sitting in the front did fend off the skanks. He was actually a very dynamic professor and I was looking forward to his class. At the conclusion of the lecture, I slumped in my chair, running my hands through my hair. "So tired…"

"You'll be fine, Edward," Jasper said. "Just take it one step at a time. And I'd invest in a digital recorder. It'll help. Especially with classes at the end of the day when you're brain is spent."

"Thanks. I'm off. I have to get a laptop and printer and be all responsible," I shuddered.

"Do you work tonight?"

"No. I work on the days that I don't have class, with the exception of Fridays," I said. "I work Friday nights."

"When do you have a day off?"

"Every other Sunday," I answered.

"You need at least two days, Edward. You'll burn out and might fall into some dangerous habits," Jasper said. "Until you're used to the school schedule, ask Emmett to relax your work schedule. And be mindful of midterms and finals."

"Thank you, Jasper. I truly appreciate it," I said. We walked out together and split ways as he headed to his office and I went to my car. I drove to Best Buy and purchased a Macbook Pro with all of the fixings. I also got a digital recorder like Jasper suggested and I decided to get something for Bella. She was always reading at the mansion. I picked up an E-reader along with a gift certificate to the online store for her to purchase several books of her choosing. As the total was read off to me, I gulped but handed over my credit card. I signed the slip and took my shitload of technology home with me.

I swung by Mr. Foo's and picked our dinner, being extra mindful of being followed. I had this bug up my ass that James was circling my old neighborhood in hopes of finding Bella. However, he wasn't going to find her. I was going to find him. And make him pay for what he did to her. He fucked with the wrong girl and now he's got a bounty on his head. One that Emmett, Jasper and I will collect.

Fucking moron.

I drove to the mansion and parked the Volvo. I slung my messenger bag over my shoulders and grabbed the grab bag of electronics. I noticed that Bella's car was in garage and I smiled. I opened the door and put my stuff on the kitchen island. "Hello?"

"Upstairs, Edward!" Bella called.

I grabbed her E-reader and ran up the stairs. She was making the bed. "Awww, you look so domestic, love," I said as I lay down on the half made bed.

"Get your scrawny ass off the mattress, Cullen," Bella said as she smacked my arm.

"I have a present for you," I smirked.

"Unless it involves you getting off this bed and helping me make it," Bella threatened. I rolled my eyes and we finished making the bed, piling on the huge amount of pillows. Once the bed was successfully made, Bella flopped down on her belly. "How was your first day of school?"

"Ugh," I groaned as I plopped down next to her, putting my head on her thighs. "My brain hurts."

"But just think, Dr. Cullen. All of those people you'll save," Bella said, running her hands through my hair. "So how many skanks am I going to have to beat up?"

"Too many, love. Oh, your present," I said as I handed her the bag.

"Edward…"

"Shut it," I said, arching my brow. "It's not jewelry so stop complaining."

Bella pulled the present out of the bag. "A Nook?"

"You're always reading. This way you can get any book you want. I even set up an account for you with $500 on there to begin your E-reader library," I said. Bella put the Nook down and her eyes filled with tears. Several tears spilled over on to her cheeks. "Don't cry, love."

"It's just that…never has anyone ever given me a gift just 'because,'" she sniffled. "You didn't have to do this."

"I know. I wanted to. Bella, even if I was flat broke, I'd find some way to spoil you," I said. "Besides, I may need your help once I start writing papers for my English Lit class. I'm a horrible writer and my grammar is much to be desired. I need you to proofread."

"I'm not that smart," she said, blushing slightly. "I didn't even finish high school. I left Phoenix as soon as I turned 18. I was a senior."

"Well, we can always have you get your high school GED," I said, putting the Nook on the nightstand. "Something for you to work toward. And possibly, if you want, you can go to college too. Didn't you say you wanted an English degree?"

"I do. But, I don't have the means. I am so far in the hole…"

"Bella, what's mine is yours. I definitely don't need all of this house. All of my inheritance. I'm paying it forward," I smiled. "And paying it back. Now, dinner is getting lonely and cold on the island. Let's eat."

Bella hopped out of the bed and dashed out of the room. I followed her and we ate a quiet meal. After dinner, Bella turned on the television and watched her precious Top Chef. I set up my new computer and logged into my school email account. I then started working on my crapload of homework. Before we went to bed, I managed to finish all of my reading and I did the music theory homework in addition to the brief summary for my intro to psychology class. The rest of the homework, I'd work on at the shop.

The following few weeks had the similar pattern. I actually fell into school pretty easily. Emmett was definitely willing to let me have two days off. I kept working on Friday evenings but worked half days on Saturdays and had Sundays off. I was pulling straight A's and getting rave reviews from all of my professors. I walked into the shop after my classes on Friday and was met with Emmett and Bella.

"Hey, Eddie!" Emmett boomed.

"Emmett, please don't call me Eddie," I sighed. "I hate that name."

"I bet if Bells calls you Eddie, you'd spooge all over yourself," Emmett pouted.

"Even if Bella called me Eddie, I'd still hate it," I said. I walked over to Bella and kissed her sweetly. "So, don't get any ideas, love."

"Got it…Eddie," she giggled.

"Oh, lord," I said with an eye roll. I set up my station and waited for my one appointment. I put some finishing touches on the sketch and as I did so, my appointment, Felix came in. "Hey man!"

"Felix!" Emmett boomed. "I don't have you on my schedule."

"I'm here for Edward, Em," Felix said with a frown.

"Oh, cool. I'll just be in my office," Emmett said, turning on his heel, nearly running into the back.

"Awkward," Bella sang.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I hope I don't…" Felix said with a frown.

"Relax. I'll talk to Emmett after we're done," I said. "Come check out the sketch." I showed him the modified ankh that he wanted in between his shoulder blades.

"Dude, this rocks! Let's do it," Felix grinned. I smiled and readied the stencil. Felix removed his shirt and lay down on the table I had set up. With a bare hand, I gently ran my hand between his shoulders to check if I needed to shave him. I didn't. So I placed the stencil and had him check the placement. He bounced on his toes and nodded emphatically. I readied my gun and put on my gloves. With one final check, I began working on Felix's back piece.

Bella came over as I was half way through his piece and commented on my technique and how much it had improved. I smiled widely at her approval. She kissed my forehead and went back to her station. "So, you and Bella?"

"Yeah," I said. "We make each other very happy."

"I'm happy for you, man. You both deserve it," Felix said. He held up a fist. I bumped it with my elbow and a quiet chuckle. I finished up Felix's tattoo and cleaned him up. He hopped off the table and thanked me profusely for the tattoo on his back. I taped him up. Bella assisted with ringing him up and pretty soon he was on his way.

"Come here, Whip," Bella said as she beckoned me with her finger.

I sat down on the chair next to her. "Yes?"

Bella kissed me deeply and angled my head. I felt something cold on my neck and I pulled away. "What are you doing?"

"Tattooing you," she smirked. "Check out where I put the stencil. See if it's straight."

"You are sneaky," I said. I got up and went to the mirror and checked the placement. And the tattoo. It was very stylized and elegant. Similar to the E that I put on her but with more swirls. "Looks good, love."

"Excellent," she said as I walked back to her. She readied her gun and kissed my cheek before she began tattooing my neck. I blew out a breath as the gun touched my skin. I closed my eyes and let the pain wash over me. Bella sat next to me closely as she worked on my neck. I idly moved my hand to her knee and traced circles on her jean covered leg. She smiled at my touch and gave me a loving gaze. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too, Bella," I smiled. "Thank you."

"I need make sure those college bimbettes don't touch you. You can't exactly flash your hip to show off your swan. So, a massive B on your neck should be fitting," she giggled.

"I love when you laugh, love," I said, my eyes watering unexpectedly. "It's such a lovely sound."

"I'll work on laughing more if you work on singing more," she winked. "You're done." She wiped down my neck lovingly and stood me up. We walked to the mirror together. Once we got there, I placed her in front of me, wrapping my arms around her waist. I stared at our reflections and smiled.

"Look at us. Finally in my life, I feel complete, Bella. With you," I said, looking into her eyes in the mirror. "Wherever you go, I go. You're stuck with me."

"Good, because I don't want to let you go," she said in a voice thick with emotion. "Edward, you're…shit…you're my best friend. My protector. My boyfriend…boyfriend doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about you. It seems too small. Thank you for loving me even though I'm broken."

"You're not broken. Just rough around the edges. A work in progress. Like me," I said as I kissed her 'E.'I looked at my newest ink and I feel a sense of pride, ownership and belonging to the women standing with me. "I love you, Bella. Don't forget that and nothing will ever change that."

She grinned and leaned into my arms. We swayed a few moments before separating. We still had a few hours before the shop closed. Bella taped me up and I finished cleaning my station after Felix left. Emmett came out and he apologized for his behavior. We hugged and went about our business. I spent some time working on a paper for psychology while Emmett and Bella handled two walk ins. Once they were done, we counted out the till and closed up shop. Bella had gotten a ride from Emmett since I was working at the shop today. We'd drive home together.

Emmett was punching in the security code to the shop. Bella was slightly freaking out because we had to leave the back way. My arm was around her waist protectively, trying to calm her. She was still leery about the possibility of James hiding behind the shop to finish what he started. But she was never alone when she closed. Emmett always was with her or she didn't working the closing shift. We were walking to my Volvo and I helped Bella into the front seat. I heard a scuffle by the doorway of Dreamstyle. I shot a look over my shoulder. "Bella, lock the doors and don't open them."

"What?" she asked.

I thrust the keys into her hand. "Lock the doors. Call the cops, love." Tears were running down her face but she nodded. I ran back to the door of the shop and found Emmett scuffling with blond man. A large blond man. It wasn't James. He was too big. "Freeze, fucker," I bellowed.

The man's head shot up and it distracted him. Emmett slammed him against the wall and he fell to the ground with a grunt. I crouched down. "What's your name?"

"Fuck you," he snarled.

"Well, Mr. You, you've picked the wrong shop to fuck with," I said. "Right, Em?"

"Damn straight, Ed," Emmett growled as he pushed his knee into his back. "We'll try this again. What's your name?"

"Riley. Riley Biers," he said painfully.

"Well, Mr. Biers, the cops are on their way," I said. "What do you want?"

"The girl," he choked out as Emmett put more pressure on his lungs. "I want the girl."

"She's not going anywhere with you, asshat," Emmett spat.

"I was just supposed to find her. He wants her," Riley groaned.

"Who's 'he?'" I asked.

"James Pattinson," Riley said. "It's some sick obsession he has with her. She got away and he wants her. As a trophy. His greatest work to date."

"Where's James?" Emmett and I seethed.

"I don't know. He just texts me from disposal cell phone," Riley said. "Please, you're hurting me."

"I don't care, fucker. You want to know what James did to the girl? He totally fucked her up. No one is going to get to her. You hear me?" Emmett said menacingly. The lights of the squad car lit the alleyway and eventually the cops took Riley away. We gave our statement and I went back to my car.

Bella was curled up in the backseat, whimpering quietly. I slid in with her and tried to hold her. But she was panicking. Not aware of her surroundings. She was in the middle of a vicious flashback. Emmett had called Rose and she was on her way. Apparently, Bella and Rose had formed a bond over near death experiences with men. Once Rose arrived, she took my car back to the mansion and I drove Rose's car home. Emmett was behind me.

The only thing I knew for certain, this was going to be a long night.

One step forward and a million steps back…

Fuck.

A/N: Yeah…James is not letting her go. Riley was pretty much scouting her out. Figuring if she was at the shop. Also, Bella does have a restraining order out against James and does have an arrest warrant out for his rape and attempted murder of her. The cops just never caught him. He's just shady like that. Anyhow, not pleasant times coming up. Just warning you.


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**

**Things I own: a cart that is too small for my needs at my school, a sprained ankle and some homemade cookies.**

**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter Twenty: Twenty Steps Back**

As I predicted, we had a rough night. Or rather, rough couple of nights. Aw, hell. Who am I kidding? The past month has sucked ass. Bella fell into herself and wouldn't talk to anybody. Not me. Not Rose. Not Emmett. No one. It got so troublesome, that Legacy upped her sessions to every day.

And the nightmares…

She screamed nightly. Waking up in a cold sweat, trying to fight her way to freedom. But there was no one to fight. Or rather, she fought me. I was covered in bruises from her punches and swipes that she took. When she woke up, she'd apologize for hurting me. However, it would repeat over and over again.

I felt horribly for her. There was nothing I could do to help her. I felt worthless and powerless. I didn't how what to do and it was driving me crazy.

The only thing that brought some life to her eyes was when I played the piano. Or sang. For my music theory class, we had to do a great deal of composition and she would sit and listen while I worked on my homework. It was the only time I saw my girl. Other than that, she faded away. Her cinnamon eyes became dull and lifeless. Her face was pulled into a grimace or a sneer. Her posture was defeated.

I drove Bella to Legacy this morning because she slept very little the night before. Her eyes were shut as I drove to Bellevue. I know that I was sporting some substantial under eye circles as I was sleeping even less than Bella. I was doing school work. Working at Dreamstyle. Worrying about her. I was burning the candle at both ends and in the middle. I could feel myself move closer to the brink. To a breakdown.

I can't have that. I needed to get myself under control.

That was another reason why I drove to Legacy. I had an appointment with Dr. Meyers. I needed his help in dealing with my own demons. Seeing Bella like this was causing me to have the overwhelming urge to get some drugs and drown myself in them.

I pulled into the parking lot and caressed Bella's cheek. She jumped and looked over at me. Her eyes were filled with complete terror. I frowned at her pain. The fact that I caused it. My gaze dropped to my jeans and I apologized. I got out of the car and helped Bella out of the front seat. I followed her at a safe distance to the receptionist's desk. Much to my chagrin, Lauren was there.

"Good morning, Bella," she said in a sweet voice. Bella grunted and sat down in the waiting room. "Hello, Edward. How are you doing?" Her blue eyes batted and flirted with me. She licked her lips and adjusted her cleavage to show off her girls.

"I'm fabulous, Lauren. I haven't had a good night's sleep in nearly a month. I'm tired. I'm cranky and I don't want to deal with your shit," I snapped. "Back the fuck off."

"Asshole," Lauren snarled.

"Yep. And I'm damn proud of it," I smiled. "Let Dr. Greene and Dr. Meyers know that we're here. And close your legs. I don't want to see all your goodies."

Lauren rolled her eyes and picked up the phone. I sat down in the waiting area, glaring at her. If she crossed one more line, I'd seriously lose my cool. Dr. Greene came out first and got Bella. She went with her doctor without a good bye. I sighed and flipped through a magazine angrily.

"Edward Cullen?" Dr. Meyers called. I put the magazine down and walked over to the man who would hopefully help me. "Ah, Bella's boyfriend. Nice to meet you."

"You, too," I said. "We met before, though."

"Right. The day you brought Bella in," Dr. Meyers said. "Come into my office."

"Thanks," I said. We walked down a short hallway to Dr. Meyers' office and he offered me a spot on the couch. He sat down on the chair opposite after he got a pad of paper.

"Okay, Edward. What can I do for you today?" Dr. Meyers asked.

"I'm struggling. I've been clean for over a year," I said.

"What was your drug of choice?"

"Cocaine. Sometimes Ecstasy. I never shot up," I shuddered. "That shit is scary."

"It is. So is coke," Dr. Meyers said. "Why are you struggling?"

"A few reasons. First off, I'm in school. Finally working on my undergraduate degree in psychology. Secondly, working full time in addition to school. Finally, Bella," I said, leaning forward on my knees.

"Why Bella?"

"She's not sleeping. She's screaming. She's falling apart, Dr. Meyers. And I can't do a fucking thing about it," I said, tears filling my eyes. "I want to help her. I need to help her but I don't know how."

"You don't like not being in control," Dr. Meyers said calmly.

"I guess not. However, when I was high, I was completely out of control," I replied.

"Now, you're going to the other extreme. To be in complete control of everything in your life. But, let's back up a bit. I know a little bit about your girlfriend. Why don't you tell me what happened? In your words," Dr. Meyers said.

"Very simply, my girlfriend is broken," I sniffled, pulling my legs up to my chest. "Her mother was a crack addict who beat the shit out of her. She was placed into foster care and bounced around for a few years. She finally was placed in a permanent home with an older gentleman. However, his son decided to rape her when she turned sixteen. It happened daily for two years until she turned eighteen.

"Jacob, the guy who raped her while she was in foster care, he did it twenty-two times on his twenty-second birthday. She ended up conceiving a child as a result of that. She fled that home when she was eighteen and came to Seattle. She carried and gave birth to a baby boy. She gave him up for adoption.

"She managed to get herself together with the help of her roommate. She worked in a tattoo shop and I was eventually placed to work with her as an apprentice. We eventually made a tentative friendship. That friendship morphed into something more. The night that she was attacked, I pretty much told her that I loved her. She said that she hated me and left the bar. I was so upset. I got drunk while she was getting raped and fucking ruined by a former co-worker. I found her, Dr. Meyers. She was ripped to shreds."

"I know her history. She's twenty-six and had a hysterectomy," Dr. Meyers frowned.

"Now, her rapist has made an appearance and she's shutting down. I can't help her," I said, tears spilling over my cheeks. "I'm falling apart. I can't…I need help." The tears that fell over my cheeks turned into gut wrenching sobs. I felt Dr. Meyers sit next to me and he pushed my legs down. He put his arms around me and I fell apart against this complete stranger. I clutched at his white coat as I cried for my love. Cried for my frustration. Cried for it all.

Eventually my tears stopped and I pulled away from Dr. Meyers. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Edward, you've been holding all of that in. You can't do that. I know that you are worried about Bella. We are worried here too. She was doing so well up until a month ago," Dr. Meyers said. "I'm assuming that's when her rapist emerged, right?"

"It wasn't him, per se," I said. "It was another guy. His name was Riley something. He said that he was looking for Bella for James. That's her rapist."

"If Bella were here, what would you say to her?" Dr. Meyer's asked.

"Nothing. I'm so afraid of hurting her or causing her to fall into old habits."

"Pretend that's not an option," Dr. Meyers said. "What would you say?"

"She shouldn't shut me out like she has been. I know that she's scared. But so am I. I'm afraid that James is going to finish the job he started. She needs to talk to me. If not me, then someone. She could talk to Lauren, the evil skank from the front desk. Just somebody," I said ardently.

"Okay, stay right there, Edward," Dr. Meyers said. He got up and left the office. I picked at the invisible thread of my jeans as I waited for him to come back. Once he did, he brought Bella with him. Her eyes were red rimmed and she was wringing her hands. "This isn't my usual office, Edward. See that mirror over the desk?"

"She was watching?" I gulped. My hands started sweating and my body started shaking. "Fuck."

"I'm sorry about betraying your confidence. It's an unusual technique, but when dealing with significant others or spouses of people who have an addiction, the abuser needs to see how this is impacting their partner. Bella needed to see you fall apart. It solidifies her decisions and how they impact your relationship. Granted, this is not about the drugs. It's about your relationship. Period," Dr. Meyers said. "I'm going to leave you both to talk. I will be in my real office. When you are done, just call extension 5806 on the phone and we'll finish up your session." He turned on his heel and closed the door, leaving Bella standing near the exit.

"Hi," I said, biting my lip. Bella walked toward the chair that Dr. Meyers was sitting in. She sat down and stared at me. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears. "You are a fucking saint."

"No, I'm not," I said. "I'm a prick who can't fix my girlfriend." My voice broke on the last word. More tears spilled over my cheeks and I hastily wiped them away.

"Edward," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how this affecting you. I know I've been horrible the past month."

"You have," I chuckled darkly. "But, I understand why. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Edward," Bella said. "I don't know how to say I'm sorry. I really don't. You've been my rock. My support. My everything during the past several months. I don't know how I'd do it without you. I know that I'm pushing you away and I'm afraid I'm going to push you so far that you won't come back."

"Bella, I told you time and time again that you're stuck with me. But I'm struggling. I see you falling apart night after night. Screaming, clawing, punching, fighting. It's killing me on the inside. I don't sleep very well anymore because I'm afraid for you. Because I'm not sleeping, I'm wanting. I need, dying for that pick me up. I just feel so helpless."

Bella got up from her spot on the chair and straddled my legs. Her arms went around my neck and she held me tightly. "You've been so strong, Edward. I'm so sorry that I'm draining on you," she murmured in my ear. "So sorry. Please say that you forgive me."

"I'm not mad at you, love," I said as I put my arms around her waist. "There's nothing to forgive. You didn't do anything wrong. I just need to deal."

"No, you don't," she said sitting back on my legs. "We're a team, Edward. I've been shutting you out. You said so when you were talking to Dr. Meyers. I need to talk to you about my problems. But you also need to talk to me. You can't walk around on eggshells with me. If I do something that pisses you off, you need to tell me." She cupped my face and gently rubbed her fingers under my eyes. "I never realized how tired you were, Edward. And I'm sorry I hurt you. Made you cry."

"That was the first time I'd cried in a long time, Bella," I said. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to mine. "I can't bear to lose you."

"Me neither, Edward," she whispered. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know. I guess we take one day at a time," I said. She nodded and tangled her hands into my hair. She leaned in and inhaled slowly before pressing her lips to mine. I felt her body shudder under the contact. However, she was in charge of this parade. I followed her lead with the kisses. Her tongue tentatively traced my lower lip. I opened my mouth and her soft tongue danced languidly with mine.

She pulled away and looked into my eyes. She had tears in her own cinnamon colored orbs. "I love you, Edward. I am so sorry."

"I love you, Bella. But no more apologies," I said as I cupped her cheeks. "We work together. A team."

"A team," Bella said. "Got it."

With one more kiss, we made the decision to move past this and work together. As a team.

xx EC:AWIP xx

After that morning with Dr. Meyers, our relationship improved drastically. We didn't keep anything back about our relationship and spoke openly about our issues. I explained my fear of falling into old habits and the urge of wanting to use. I also explained how I was afraid of losing Bella. Either by James or by her own actions. Bella told me that she was afraid of being hurt by James and being hurt by me.

That honestly shocked me. When I asked why, she said that I could irreparably damage her if I leave her. Her heart was essentially mine. I was the only person in her life that truly showed her love and how to love. I asked her about Alice and she said that Alice was her friend. I was her soul mate. Her rock. The first man to show her love in a way that was not violent. Even Emmett had been rough with her.

I saw red with that statement.

But, Bella insisted that she wanted it that way. It was what she used to.

I managed to get through my midterms relatively easily. I was still pulling a 4.0 but I could feel myself become more exhausted. One day, I was scheduled to work at Dreamstyle. I had no appointments, but was supposed to just be there. I had pulled an all-nighter to finish a paper. I was getting ready to go to work when Bella essentially shoved me back into bed and said that she'd cover my shift. I opened my mouth to argue, but Bella told me to put my ass into bed and sleep. I arched a brow and followed her demands.

I slept all day and through to the next morning.

I was shocked at that one. I guess I needed my sleep.

Bella had definitely made huge strides. She still met with Dr. Greene but she also began working with Dr. Meyers. We also met once a week for couple's therapy. That helped us a great deal. Part of me hated the fact that we needed it but, it was necessary. We were not your traditional 'cookie-cutter' couple. We had some really big and scary issues that we had to deal with. Every day. However, we were strong and that made our relationship even stronger.

As we were driving back from therapy, Bella was humming quietly. My cell phone rang from the cup holder in the car. "Hello?"

"Hello, Edward. This is Jenks. Your mother's attorney?" he said.

"Yes?" I asked, arching a brow.

"I just received a phone call from the company that your mother hired to care for the home in Chicago. There was some significant damage done to the roof after a particularly nasty storm. They need you to go out there and survey the damage. As soon as you can," Jenks explained.

"Great. Thanks for letting me know," I said. Jenks hung up and I tossed the phone into the cup holder. "Another thing to add to my pile of shit."

"What?" Bella asked.

"I have to fly out to Chicago and inspect damage done to the roof of the home there," I grumbled. "I guess I could skip class on Friday and fly out Thursday night and come back on Sunday. You want to come?"

"I've never flown before," Bella murmured.

"You'll be fine. It might be nice to be in a different city for awhile," I shrugged. "So?"

"Sounds like fun," Bella smiled.

"Cool," I smirked as I pulled into the garage. We went into the kitchen and I pulled out my laptop. I sent an email to all of my professors explaining a 'family emergency.' I also attached my assignments that were due in the email. My only concern was missing an exam in history. As soon as I sent the email, Jasper called me. He told me that I could make up my exam upon my return. Once that was done, I went online and purchased two tickets for Chicago. We'd leave after our shift at Dreamstyle on Thursday and return very late on Sunday. As I was getting the tickets, Bella was asking me a million questions about flying and being on the airplane. It was actually pretty cute. She was freaking out about being on a plane but very excited at the same time.

Bella finally relaxed about the plane and then she started asking me about Chicago. The last time I was there, I was a kid. I honestly didn't remember much. I told what I did remember and she sounded so thrilled. "Bella, have you ever been on a vacation before?" I asked.

She blushed and looked down. She shook her head emphatically that hadn't ever had a vacation. Never ever really had fun.

"Bella, while we're in Chicago, we need to address the situation about the roof. I also need to some homework, but we're going have a good time while we're there. Okay?" I asked. "A vacation. After the past few months that we've had, we need it."

A few tears fell down her cheeks and she launched herself into my arms. She sobbed against me, saying that she loved me and that I was too good to her. I just let her release her emotions and held her. She eventually calmed down and pulled away. I gently wiped her tears away from her face. She kissed me sweetly and thanked me for my kindness.

The rest of the night was spent looking on my laptop for things to do in Chicago. I should have been working on homework, but seeing Bella this giddy about something made me smile. I wanted nothing more than to keep that smile on her face. So, homework be damned. We made arrangements for Saturday to go to the Hancock Signature Room for dinner and then to Navy Pier for fireworks. Friday would be spent wandering around Millennium Park and Lincoln Park Zoo, after I met with the contractor who was going to fix the roof.

Thursday dawned dreary and cold. A typical Seattle day. Bella stayed home and packed our bags with Alice's help. I went to work and counted the minutes until our plane left. We were scheduled to leave at seven in the evening and due to arrive in Chicago by nearly midnight.

The day dragged on forever. Alice came into the shop sometime around lunch time with a bag for me. I arched my brow as I took it from her. I peered inside and nearly fell out of my chair when I saw what was inside. "A Bear's t-shirt?" I snorted.

"You're going to Chicago," Alice said. "I found it in a vintage shop and had to get it. Wear it, Cullen."

"If I get beat up, I'm blaming you," I snickered.

"Go change. Besides if you keep what you have on, you'll match your girlfriend," Alice said as she pushed me to the bathroom. I rolled my eyes and stripped off my black t-shirt. I slipped on the Bears shirt and tucked it into my pants. I folded my black shirt and stuffed into the bag. I walked out. Alice squealed. "So cute."

"Alice, I'm not cute," I snarled. "Puppy dogs are cute. You are cute. Babies are cute. Me? Not so much."

"I have to agree," Rose said from her station. She was working on a client with an intricate design . "Whip is not cute."

"Thank you, Rose," I said as I sat down at my station and opened my biology book.

"Whip is sweet," Rose bellowed.

"No, I'm not," I growled. "I'm a jerk."

"Edward, you are a jerk to people you don't trust," Alice clarified. "Or don't like."

"But you're sweet to people you actually care for," Rose said. "Especially Bella. Even when she doesn't deserve it, you are so sweet and kind to her. You are such a good man, Edward. With asshole-like tendencies."

"Thanks? I think?" I said, scratching my head.

Alice kissed my head and danced out of the shop. I rolled my eyes and went back to my reading. The rest of the afternoon was pretty easy. I had one walk in and it was a tiny tattoo. They wanted a small tribal symbol behind their ear. I cranked that bad boy out in a half hour and I made really good tip from the woman. She said that I had pretty eyes and slipped me a hundred dollar bill. Hell, if my eyes get me more tips, then I'm a happy camper.

Before I left, I was called into Emmett's office. I was still pretty pissed at him for blatant disrespect for my girl, but he didn't know that. I'd been distant toward him but that was par for the course for me. I knocked on the door and was beckoned into the office. "You rang?"

"Yeah, how are you doing?" Emmett asked.

"I'm good. You?" I asked.

"Stressed," Emmett said, running his hands through his short hair. "We're struggling with the shop. We may have to lose an artist."

"Are you firing me?" I asked, my brows shooting to my hairline.

"You are one of the artists I'm not worried about. Your client base is keeping the electricity on," Emmett said.

"Are you firing Bella?" I questioned, my eyes darkening out of anger.

"I don't want to," Emmett mumbled. "However, with her 'situation' and her constraints on her schedule, it's not feasible to keep her."

"Emmett, she's an amazing artist. If you fire someone, go for Angela. I like her. She's sweet but she's not a good tattoo artist. Hell, I think I did better than her once I got into a groove," I said. "Bella is working so hard to get better and if you take this away from her, she'll crumble."

"I'll consider it. I know that you and Bella are going to attend to some personal matters in Chicago. Once you guys come back, I will need to speak with your girlfriend. Either she picks up some more shifts to cover the loss of an artist. If she's willing to do that, then I'll get rid of Angela. If not, then she's gone."

"I'm so glad you take care of you own, Emmett," I snapped.

"Edward, I'm running a business here. I love Bella but I have to be able to pay my bills. Both at home and at the shop," Emmett said, his eyes flashing with anger. "I should go with the low man on the totem pole. That would be you."

"No. It would be Rose," I said. "She was hired after me."

"But she's an experienced artist. You are not," Emmett said, his voice laced with venom.

A quiet knock came on the door. Emmett yelled for whoever it was to come in. Rose poked her head in. "You may want to tone it down. I have a few customers out here who are wondering why there's yelling going on."

"Emmett's just threatening to fire Bella," I snarled.

"Em, you can't. She needs this job. For her sanity," Rose explained.

"I know. But I can't make my bills this month unless I lose someone," Emmett said, his face pulled in a grimace. "If Bella can pick up more shifts for the lost artist, she can stay. But, if not, she's done."

"You fire her," I said. "You lose me. We're a packaged deal." With that I turned on my heel and gathered my things. I stormed out of the shop and flew into my car. I peeled out of the parking lot and drove back to my home. I parked the car in the driveway and went into the house, slamming my bag onto the kitchen counter.

"Edward?" Bella called as she came into the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

"I'm ready to kill Emmett," I said. "He's turning into such a heartless bastard. Fuck!"

"Okay, slow down. Go to the beginning," Bella said as she pulled herself up onto the kitchen counter. She guided me between her legs and massaged my shoulders. "What did Emmett do?"

"As I was getting ready to leave, he asked me to come into his office. He then told me that the shop is struggling. Anyhow, I asked if he was firing me," I said.

"Is he?" Bella asked, her hands tightening on my shoulders.

"No. Apparently my client base is what's keeping the shop with electricity," I said. "However, he did say that you are on the chopping block. If you don't pick up more hours to make up for the artist that he's getting rid of, you're done."

"He would do that?" Bella asked, her eyes filling with tears.

"I suggested that he get rid of Angela. She's not very good and doesn't do a lot of big pieces like you or me," I said as I took her heart shaped face in my hands. "I also said that he gets rid of you. He loses me. We're a packaged deal."

"Edward, you need your job," Bella whispered.

"I can get another one. Bella, you need this more than me," I said. The doorbell rang and I groaned. "What now? We need to be on the road in less than an hour." I extricated myself from Bella's grip and went to open the door. On the steps was a very contrite looking Emmett being held by a pissed off Alice. "OH, this I have to hear."

"Don't make me rip off your ear, Emmett McCarty," Alice said as she twisted it further causing him to bellow in pain. "Can we come in?"

I moved so they could come into the living room. Bella was glaring at Emmett and I'd never seen her so pissed. Even when she was hating me, the look of pure ire in her eyes was nothing compared to that. "Can I speak to Bella? Alone?" Emmett asked.

"Anything you say to me, you can say in front of Edward," Bella said acidly.

"First off, I'm sorry for dropping that bomb on you, Edward. It wasn't right. Secondly, I'm sorry about being such a dick in general. Bella, you are the best artist in the shop and I would hate to lose you."

"I'll pick up more shifts. But, I refuse to close by myself. Either Edward or you must be with me," Bella said. "Though, right now I'd prefer Edward as he looked out for my back. Unlike you."

"Done," Emmett said. "Bella, I am sorry. I was thinking with the pocket book of the shop, not my heart. It took Edward's tirade, Rose's tongue lashing and Alice's vice-like grip to my ear for me to see that. You can let go, you know."

"If I keep holding, you'll remember the pain you caused her. And the stress you gave Edward," Alice said as she twisted his ear further.

"Fuck, Alice. You're pulling the ear off my head and tugging on my piercing," Emmett grumbled. "Ease up. Slightly, please." She did and Emmett's face relaxed. "Can you come in on Monday, Bella?"

"What time?"

"Opening to seven," Emmett said. "I'll be with you so you aren't alone. I know that Edward has classes."

"Fine. Now if you excuse us, we have a plane to catch," Bella said with a slight smirk. "I need your help, Whip, with the bags."

"We can make Emmett carry them out. He owes me," I said with a sardonic grin.

"You are such an asshole, Edward," Emmett growled. I pointed to the bags near the door and Emmett went to get them. I followed him out and we put them into the trunk of my car. "I am sorry for dumping that on you, Eddie."

"I'm sorry for being a prick, Emmie," I snickered.

"You're a douche. Anyhow, Angela will be gone. Unfortunately. She'll be heartbroken, but she's not pulling in the money. As sad as it is, Bella only working part time made more than Angela did working full time. Have a safe trip and good luck with whatever is going on in Chicago."

"Thanks, Em," I said. Alice and Bella came out. They hugged. Alice grabbed Emmett's ear and they got into the car. I opened the car door for Bella and drove us to Sea-Tac airport, parking in the remote lot. We got onto the bus that would take us to the airline. We checked into and headed to our gate. Bella hated going through security. Hell, so did I. I felt like my civil liberties were being violated when they patted me down because I had my ears pierced.

We ate dinner in one of the fast food joints in the airport and waited for our flight to be called. Bella was reading a book on her new Nook. I had some music playing on my laptop and we were sharing a pair of ear buds listening to the songs I had going. Our flight was called and we got onto the plane. It was a pretty empty flight and we had the entire row to ourselves. I turned off my computer and I leaned my head back against the seat as we waited for the plane to take off.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?" I replied.

"Did you really mean it that if Emmett fires me, you leave too?" Bella asked in a tiny voice.

"I did. We're a team, love," I said as I laced my fingers with hers. "I know how much your job means to you."

"Do you know what I would like to do?" Bella asked. "I would like to get my GED. Perhaps go to school. Obviously, not at the same time as you, but perhaps at some point."

"What would you want to major in?" I asked, excited that Bella had some goals that she wanted to achieve.

"English Literature. I love getting lost in a good book," she said with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Have you ever considered writing?" I questioned.

"I don't know," she said, biting her lip. "What would I write about?"

"Whatever your heart desires, Bella," I said as I kissed her lips. "I never believed it until now, but no dreams are unattainable. You can do anything."

"There is one dream that's unattainable. Well, for me," she said sadly. "Being a mom."

"If you want children, Bella, we could adopt. There's many children who don't have families that would want to have you as their mom," I said as I caressed her cheeks.

"I shouldn't have given up Paul," she whispered.

"Could you have taken care of him? Given him what he needed? What he wanted?" I asked.

"No."

"Then, you made the right decision to give him up. His parents love him and are providing for him the life that you couldn't give him. You'll have children, Bella."

"But, I want your children," she sniffled.

"It doesn't matter if we share DNA. The only thing that matters is loving and caring for our children. When we have them. Honestly, we have a long way to go before we can possibly adopt babies. I want to marry you first," I said.

"You really want to marry me?" Bella asked, her cinnamon eyes growing wide.

"I do," I smirked. "Heh, I do. You're it for me, Bella. I can't imagine my life without you. Well, I could, but it would be a life that I wouldn't want. Yes, we're flawed but together we can do anything. Do you know that? Anything we want and I intend to achieve that goal. Would you want that? With me?"

"I would, Edward," she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I said. We leaned together and felt the plane take off. Bella wrapped her arms around me. I chuckled. "I've got you. I'll keep you safe, Bella."

"I know you will," she said in my ear. "Thank you."

A/N: Chicago will be in a separate chapter. Anyhow, lots of stuff happened. But things are looking up. I'm also thinking that next chapter will have some CITRUS! They love each other and they need to solidify their relationship. It may not be sex, but it will be some citrusy goodness. Also, check out my blog (link in my profile) for extra teasers and sneak peeks into my brain. I'm hoping to have another update for you sometime next weekend. Leave me love!


	21. Chapter 21

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a broken hair straightener, a chunk of chocolate cake which I'm having for dessert, and really awesome friends who make me smile. **_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Twenty-One: Chicago**

We landed in Chicago. Our flight was delayed slightly due to some wind or turbulence or something. We were on the ground a little after one in the morning. Bella was griping that she was tired. Hell, so was I. I kissed her forehead and lead through O'Hare to the baggage claim. Once our bag came around, I swiped it and we headed to the car rental counter. I gave them my name. We were led onto a shuttle bus and to the parking lot for our rental.

We got into the car and I handed Bella the directions to my grandfather's estate. It was located in the affluent Gold Coast neighborhood. It took about an hour to drive to the house. I pulled into the driveway and was astonished at how big the home was.

"What is it with your grandfather and huge houses?" Bella squeaked.

"It seemed so much bigger when I was younger," I said, giving her a wink. "But then again, I was four feet tall, had braces, and a scrawny body. I was such a fucking dork when I was kid."

"I've seen pictures, Edward. You were cute," Bella said as she pinched my cheek.

"Yeah. Whatever," I said as I rolled my eyes. "I bet you were adorable as a child."

"Not really. Knocked-kneed, pigeon toed, frizzy hair, negative A-cups, buck teeth," Bella laughed. "I was lucky that Billy sprung for braces for me. Or else, I'd look like Bugs Bunny." She pulled her bottom lip between her top teeth and made the bunny face. I snorted and fell forward, burying my face in my hands as I laughed hysterically. "Be grateful there are no pictures and proof of my awkwardness, Cullen."

"I would pay MONEY to see those, Bella," I said as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"Yeah, your teeth were worse than mine, Edward," Bella said as she got out of the car.

"This is why I was in braces for nearly four years, Bella," I said as I got as our bags out of the trunk. "Now, I have a perfect smile."

"Yes, you do," she said, pinching my hip. "But, I'm exhausted. Bed! PLEASE! I'm begging you."

I gave her a salute and grabbed my keys. We walked up the steps. I unlocked the door and turned on the lights. The house was very classically and elegantly decorated. I had called the company that my moms used to care for house remove all of the sheets from the furniture. I also asked them to stock the fridge with food and drink. I sent them a list. I could smell a slightly mildewy scent in the house. My guess is that is from the damage to the roof.

We went up the stairs and found the master bedroom. I was almost tempted to go into the bedroom that I stayed in when I was a kid. Bella and I would not fit in a full-sized bed. We could, but it would be a tight fit. I've grown a bit since I last stayed there. And Bella kicks. We decided on the master bedroom with the king-sized bed.

We stripped out of clothes and fell into the bed. Within moments we were both asleep. It was the best sleep we'd both gotten in nearly a month. No worries about James. No worries about work. No worries about school. Just rest and sleep. Something we both desperately needed and I am so grateful that we got it.

The next morning, my cell phone shrilled from the nightstand. I picked it up and it was the contractor calling me to inform me that he was on his way. He'd be at the house in a half hour. I slipped out of the bed and went to the bathroom. I took a hasty shower, washing the grime of traveling off my body. I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I checked on Bella and she was still curled up in bed. I wrote her a note in case she woke up explaining that the contractor was here and I was with him. I folded the note next to Bella's pillow and kissed her forehead before darting downstairs.

I made myself some breakfast and waited for the contractor. I pulled out my laptop while I nibbled on some toast and worked on a lab report for biology. I was about halfway done with my report when the doorbell rang. I saved my work and went to open the door. Outside was a large man with a friendly smile. "Hi! Are you Edward Cullen?" he asked.

"Yep. You are?" I asked as I held out my hand.

"I'm Jared Wolfe," he said. We shook hands and I led him inside. "It smells like you might have some water damage in here in addition to the roof issue."

"Yeah. It's kind of foul in here," I said, wrinkling my nose. "I just got in last night. I haven't had a chance to inspect the damage."

"No big deal. I saw it when I drove up. I just need access to your attic," Jared said. I nodded and led him upstairs. We got to the attic access and he scrambled up the pull-down ladder. I followed and as soon as I was in the attic, I could smell the foulness. "That is nasty."

"Tell me about it," I grumbled. We checked the damage and Jared explained what he needed to do. Essentially, he'd have to replace the entire roof. In addition to that, he'd have to address the water damage to the attic. It was going to be very expensive. I gulped when he gave me the estimate. Then I remembered in my back account I had nearly twenty times that and could cover it. I decided to go with Jared. He'd begin work on the roof as soon as we left from our vacation. He'd need to check in with the caretakers each day he worked on the house and turn in the key each night. He seemed a little confused about my requests. However, I explained that I lived in Seattle. I couldn't be here to inspect his work and I didn't trust him enough to give him a spare key.

Thankfully, he agreed.

I paid him the deposit and he left the house. I went back upstairs. Bella was still cocooned in the comforter, snoring slightly. I chuckled as I slid in next to her. I wrapped my arm around her waist and gently kissed her neck. She hummed and moved closer to me. A slight smile played on her lips. Her eyes fluttered and she looked up at me. "Morning," she said in a raspy voice. "You're up early."

"It's nearly noon, love," I said as I nibbled on her ear.

"Really?"

"Yep. You didn't even budge when I got up to shower or when the phone rang," I said against her soft skin. "I barely heard it. I was sleeping like the dead."

"Hmmm," she said thoughtfully as she ruffled my slightly damp hair. "You don't have the dark circles under your eyes."

"Neither do you, gorgeous," I said as I cupped her face.

"Yeah, I'm fucking hot," she snickered. "I feel gross from being on the plane. Do they ever wash them?"

"Probably once every couple of years," I laughed. "Come on. The shower is really nice. It's like getting a massage by the water."

"Join me?" Bella purred.

"I've already showered, love."

Bella pouted and averted her gaze to my chest.

"But seeing you naked is definitely swaying me to join you," I said as got up. She squealed and threw her arms around my neck. I picked her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I carried her to the bathroom. My clothes were tossed off my body. Bella's tank top and panties joined my clothes on the floor. I turned on the shower and we attacked each other in the stall. I could feel my body react to her kisses, caresses and nibbles. My arousal poked Bella in the stomach. She pulled away and gave me a predatory smirk. Gracefully she fell to her knees and grasped my cock. "Bella, you don't have to."

"Yes, I do," she said as she began to pump my erection. And fuck me, it felt so fucking good. She pressed a soft kiss to the tip of my cock. I leaned against the smooth marble of the shower as Bella kissed the length of my cock. "So big, Edward."

I looked down at her and watched as she wrapped her pink lips around my erection. "Fuck," I moaned as she took me into her mouth. She smirked as she began bobbing her head along my length. With one hand, she massaged my balls and the other hand was pumping in conjunction with her mouth. I ran my fingers along her jaw as she slurped and sucked on my arousal.

Bella's fingers glided along the skin behind my balls and I shuddered slightly. Her gentle touch was igniting my skin and my blood. I wanted to pull her from the ground and make love to her. "Bella," I moaned.

She removed her mouth from my cock and ran the head along her wet lips. "So good, Edward. So fucking good," she cooed. Her tongue circled my dick and I rolled my eyes into my head. "Do you want to come, Whip?"

"Fuck yes," I growled.

Bella winked and took me completely in her mouth. I mean, my whole cock was inside her mouth and partially down her throat. Her fingers massaged my balls and her other hand moved to my ass. Her hand danced at my asshole and I bit my lip.

_Would she?_

I felt her fingers dip inside and that answered my question.

_Yes, she would. _

With the combination of Bella's mouth, her fingers and just seeing her doing this to me caused my body to explode. A litany of expletives left my mouth as I came violently. Bella swallowed all of my release. She sucked off my cock with a pop and stood up. "Breakfast of champions. Cullen spooge."

"Really?" I asked, arching a brow.

"Mmhmm," Bella smirked. "Can you wash my back?" I rolled my eyes at her blasé attitude from my insane orgasm. The most intense orgasm I'd ever had. In all of my life. Imagine when I get to make love to her. I think I'd explode. I mean, really.

xx EC:AWIP xx

The afternoon was spent roaming around Grant Park and Millennium Park. Bella's eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree. She was so excited and seeing Chicago through her eyes made me excited. We walked through the city with our hands linked and we didn't have a care in the world. She was happy. I was happy. We were both happy and I didn't want it to end.

We also went to Lincoln Park Zoo. That was interesting. Bella had never gone to a zoo before. Her mom was too strung out to take her and her foster families were just assholes. She felt bad for the animals in captivity. However, she giggled when we got the lion exhibit. She looked at the lion and then to me. And then back to the lion.

"You two look like you have the same hair stylist," she giggled.

"I do not look like a lion," I mumbled. "I just need a haircut."

"Oh no, it's more than that. Edward, you're hair is a hot mess. I love you, but you and our feline friend have the same affinity for bad hair," Bella giggled.

"Whatever, Bane," I said as I rolled my eyes.

She laughed and we continued walking. Bella said that she had to go to the bathroom. As she did that, I snuck into a gift shop. I grabbed a stuffed lion and paid for it. I was waiting for Bella when she got back. She eyed me warily as I smiled sweetly at her. I linked my hand with hers, swinging my bag with my other hand. "You look like the cat that got the canary."

"Nope," I smirked. She sighed and we continued going through the zoo. We finished our stop at the zoo and drove back to the house. Bella said that she would make dinner with the food that the caretaker left for us. I nodded and went up to the bedroom. I placed the lion onto the pillow with a snicker. I grabbed my laptop and continued working on my biology lab report. I was grumbling about some table that would load right and I was ready to throw my laptop out the window.

"Edward, come get dinner. It'll spare your computer," Bella snickered. I sighed and saved my work. I sat down in the kitchen. We ate a quiet dinner of stir fry and conversation. Bella was so excited about what we did today. I was so happy that I gave her that joy. As we were washing the dishes, I dipped her into a passionate kiss. She laughed against my mouth and tangled her fingers into my hair. "What was that for?" she asked as I righted her.

"Just because," I replied as I sat on the counter. "It's nice to see you smile. Hear you laugh. See the light in your eyes."

"You did that, Edward," she said shyly. "You've given me so much."

"I'd do it again," I whispered.

"Thank you. I love you, Edward,"

"I love you, too."

She looked up at me and she grinned. Her face was so beautiful. It was slightly pink from being out in the sun. Her eyes were sparkling. Her hair was shiny. She looked so healthy and happy. We spent the night watching a movie on television. Or rather the huge flat screen that pretended to be a television. Once the movie was over, I told Bella that I was going to lock up the house. She nodded and went upstairs to the bedroom. I waited at the foot of the stairs. "Edward CULLEN!" she squealed. "Get your skinny ass up here."

I snorted and ran up the stairs. Bella was sitting on the bed, hugging the lion. Her expression was almost childlike in its awe and excitement. "You like your surprise?"

"I love him," she said as she launched herself into my arms. She peppered my face with kisses. "Thank you. Thank you. I love you. You're awesome. I love you. Thank you!"

We fell into the bed and made out like horny teenagers all night long. We did some heavy petting, but clothes stayed on. I could tell that Bella was getting more comfortable with me. However, I was suffering the worst case of blue balls ever. We fell asleep in each other's arms. Bella's head was resting on my chest and she was wrapped around me so tightly. I held her and fell into my own deep sleep.

The next morning dawned bright and sunny. We shared a shower again this morning. Our making out continued from last night. However, this time we both got our release. We both used our hands and nothing was as beautiful as seeing Bella come. She was so beautiful. Her skin flushed pink and her moans were outstanding. My dick got hard just imagining her sounds.

"Edward? You're in la-la land," Bella laughed as she scrunched her hair.

"Sorry. Just imagining your sounds. That's fucking hot," I said with a wink. "How's the mane?"

"A hot mess," Bella said. "But I love it. Just like I love you."

"Love you, sexy," I said as I smacked her ass. She squeaked and I laughed as I went to get dressed. I rarely wore shorts but it was going to be fucking hot today. I pulled out my gray shorts and tossed them on my body. "Ugh."

"What?" Bella asked.

"I'm so fucking pasty," I said as I gestured to milky white, hairy legs.

"You could always get your calves inked," Bella shrugged.

"Maybe."

She dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a white shirt with a black heart on it. She put on her jewelry and darted out of the bedroom. I rubbed my face and threw on my own shirt. I swiped a pair of short socks and sneakers. I followed Bella downstairs. She was toasting some bagels and brewing some coffee.

_Hmmmmm…coffee…_

"What time is our reservation for the Hanover Signature room?" Bella asked.

"Hancock, love. Hancock. And it's at eight," I snickered. "Hanover?"

"Shut it. Never been to Chicago, ass," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"Sorry, Bella," I said, trying to suppress my grin. I was failing miserably. She smacked my arm and tossed a bagel in front of me on a plate. We ate our breakfast and drank our coffee. Once we were done, Bella handed me her driver's license and debit card I had gotten for her that was attached to my account. I slipped them into my wallet and we headed to Navy Pier. I parked the car and we got out. We first wandered around the outdoor area with the Ferris wheel and other attractions. We tried our hands at putt-putt golf. Bella totally creamed me.

And she reminded me as often as she could.

Don't emasculate me anymore than already necessary, Swan.

We went on the Ferris wheel next. Bella was freaking a little. Okay, a lot. However, I promised her that it was safe and that I would take care of her. We got into the carriage and she clutched to my waist. I would have distracted her with a kiss or two, but we had a family across from us. That wouldn't be appropriate. Plus the father was looking at me like I was the scum of the earth. I guess tattoos and piercings are not appropriate to show off at Navy Pier.

We got off the Ferris wheel and the father muttered that I was a 'punk.'

"Excuse me?" Bella seethed.

"I wasn't talking to you, miss," the dad lied smoothly.

"No, you were just calling my boyfriend a punk and giving him the evil eye the entire ride. What the fuck?" Bella spat.

"Sweetheart, relax," I said, as I put my arm around her waist.

"I don't appreciate your tone," he dismissed.

"I don't appreciate your prejudice. Yes, he has tattoos. Yes, he has piercings. But he's a thousand times the man you will ever be. You need to look past the obvious to the goodness in their heart. Do you know what I see when I see you? A black soul who only cares about the people who are EXACTLY like him. So fuck you, buddy," Bella sobbed as she turned on her heel. She ran through the crowd.

"Crazy bitch," he growled.

"Oh, you ass," I said as I reared back and punched him in the jaw. He fell to the ground and his son stared at me like I was Superman. I put my finger to my lips at the boy. He nodded and gave me a thumbs up. I darted off to find Bella. She was halfway down the pier, curled up on a bench. "Bella?"

She looked up and gave me a watery smile. "I'm sorry about ruining our day."

"You didn't ruin our day, love," I said as I sat down. "Thank you for sticking up for me."

"I hated the way he was looking at you. Like the dirt under his shoes was better than you," she said, tears spilling over her cheeks. "You are so special, Edward."

"So are you," I said as I tucked a hair behind her ear.

"Edward, I've been doing a lot of thinking," she began.

"That's dangerous," I laughed.

Bella smacked my arm and rolled her eyes. "Be serious, Whip."

I nodded and looked into her brown depths. They were still filled with tears but she was determined.

"I want to be with you. All of you. Please?" She looked down and fussed with the hem of her t-shirt. I could tell that she was biting her lip and she shifted nervously on the bench.

"What?" I asked. My brows shot to my hairline and I gulped.

"I want you to make love to me," she said, looking in my eyes. She was piercing my soul with her cinnamon orbs. "Tonight after dinner. I want to feel you. Be with you. I want to love you in every way."

I cupped her heart shaped face with my hands. I searched her eyes for any fear. Any trepidation. Any hesitation. I saw none. I only saw love and determination. She laid her hands on my mine, lightly stroking the skin on my wrists. I leaned forward and kissed her soft mouth. Our tongues tangled together and I felt my cock wake up in my shorts. We pulled apart and I leaned my forehead against hers. We sat there for a few minutes before getting up.

As we walked back to the rental car, I danced internally at what was going to happen tonight. Bella and I were going to make love. I would get to show her how much I loved her. In every way.

We got back to the house and Bella darted off to the bathroom. She said that she needed to talk to Alice. She also needed to shower. I went to my laptop and finished working on my lab report while Bella did her girly things. I saved it and emailed it off to my biology professor.

After I finished my emailing my report, my cell phone rang. It was Alice. "Hello?"

"Bella just called me. She said that you two are going to do the deed," Alice said. "I'm so happy for you. Do you have anything planned? Candles? Flowers? Peen piercing?"

"Fuck, Alice," I said as I rubbed my face. "She just kind of dropped the bomb on me at Navy Pier. I hadn't really planned anything."

"Go get some candles or something," Alice said. "Maybe some jewelry."

"Alice, we're making love. We're not going to the opera."

"You are an ass, Whip," Alice grumbled.

"And I'm going, psycho little midget," I laughed. "I need to get some candles or some shit."

"Whatever, Whip. Talk to you later," Alice said.

I rolled my eyes and hung up. I ran up to the bedroom. I heard the shower going. I knocked on the door and Bella beckoned me inside. She was standing in front of the mirror in a towel. "I have to go run an errand. I'll be back soon, love."

"Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," I said. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck. She giggled and I pulled away. "Love you."

"Love you, too," she said. I darted out to the car and drove to a nearby Yankee Candle. I purchased several French vanilla candles. I also went to a drug store to get some condoms. I wasn't sure if Bella wanted me to use one. Pregnancy wasn't an issue but I was with a lot of women in my past. I was clean but you never know. I paid for them and drove back to the house. I carried the bag up to the bedroom and hid it in the closet. I grabbed my clothes from there and went to shower in the guest bathroom. Bella was still puttering in the master bathroom.

I was shaving when Bella knocked on the door of the guest bathroom. Her hair was in soft curls and her makeup was edgy and smoky. "If you want to use the master bathroom, you can," she said.

"I'm just shaving. I'm almost done," I said. She smiled and closed the door. I finished my face and put on my aftershave. I attacked my head with some gel and tried to style my mess of hair. I gave up and decided to get dressed. I put on a pair of black dress pants, a red shirt and a black tie. I left the top button undone and didn't tie the tie all the way. I still looked dressed up but casual at the same time. I put on my watch and went downstairs. Bella was sitting at the counter and was working on my laptop.

"What are you doing, love?"

"Researching a few things," she said. "Getting my GED and babies."

"That's a wide range of research," I replied. "What did you find?"

"In regards to getting my GED, I just need to take a few classes online and I can take the test. In regards to the babies, I was looking up adoption and surrogacy."

"How can we use a surrogate?" I asked. "You had a hysterectomy."

"My uterus was removed. I still have my ovaries. Which means I still have my eggs," she said, looking up at me. "I could legitimately have your child, if we use a surrogate."

"Really?" I asked, my eyes wide with excitement. We could have a baby. I bit my lip, playing with my lip ring. "A baby?"

"Do you want one with me?" she asked, a blush covering her cheeks.

"When the time is right, definitely, Bella," I answered, cupping her face in my hands. "However, I may be a tattooed and pierced freak, but I'm old fashioned. I want to married to you before we talk about children. I want to see my ring on your finger and have you walk down the aisle to me in a white dress."

"Who says that I'm going to wear white? I'm certainly not a virgin," she snickered.

"Neither am I, but I want to see you in that gown," I whispered. "It could be short and indecent, but as long as it's white, then I'm a happy camper."

"How about a white bikini? Get married on a beach," Bella asked, arching a brow.

"I'd blind people with the pastiness of my skin," I laughed. "Come on, love. We have a delicious dinner waiting for us at the Hanover Signature room."

"Hancock, Whip," she laughed, weaving her hands into my hair.

"I'd rather have your hands on my cock," I cooed as I nibbled on her ear. She shuddered and pulled me closer to her body.

"Once we get home, you will," she purred in my ear. "Come on, stud. Let's get some food." She hopped off the stool near the kitchen island and sashayed to the garage door. I adjusted my erection and looked at my girl. She looked absolutely beautiful. She was wearing a tight black and gray dress. Her feet were in a pair of gray pumps. She was absolutely sinful. My jaw scraped the ground. "And just to let you know, Edward, this outfit is not really conducive to underwear. So, I'm not wearing any."

"Okay, all of the blood in my body is right here," I said as I gestured to my dick. "We're not going anywhere. I want to have my way with you, woman."

She smirked and went out into the garage. I rubbed my face and followed her, picking up the keys as I headed into the rental car. I drove us to the Hancock building. I parked the car using the valet. We were early, so we went up to the bar until our reservations. We both ordered some soda. The bartender gave us both the stink eye, but I was not in the mood for his shit. I said that we were both recovering alcoholics and we didn't need his judgment. He apologized and said that our drinks were on the house.

We finished our drinks and went up to the restaurant. We were sat right away and were lucky enough to get a table by the window. It overlooked a lit up Chicago skyline. Bella was looking out the window in complete awe. It's amazing that woman as tough as her could be so sheltered in the ways of the world. Never flown on a plane. Never been to a zoo. Never had an experience like this.

We placed our orders. Or rather, I ordered for the both of us. Bella didn't know what half of the stuff was on the menu. She blushed furiously when she admitted it. I took her hand and said I'd take care of her. And I would. Forever.

I'd never thought I'd find the love of my life. Of my existence. Let alone that person be the one who could make my life a living hell. Bella was so harsh in the beginning but seeing her change was nothing short of a miracle. She still had a long way to go, but she was well on her way to being a strong recovering addict. She was too stubborn not to give up. She would have difficult days, but we'd get through them. Together.

Over dinner, Bella and I discussed her getting her GED. The classes that she needed to take were online so we'd be able to have her take them while I was in school. I didn't want her to put that off. I also wanted her to apply for college. She was smart enough. But, it was up to Bella.

We finished our dinner and had some delicious dessert. I never felt so full in my life. My stomach was easily twice its usual size. Bella was gently rubbing her belly "I think I need to run home. I'm so full."

"Me too," I said as I patted my stomach. "Full, that is. I don't think I can run home. My lungs might revolt. Smoking nearly a pack a day has caused me to lose my athleticism."

"You're pretty athletic," Bella said. "Muscular."

"Muscles, yes. Endurance? Hell, no," I snickered. "I could probably run to the corner and then die of a heart attack. I've already had one, you know."

"I know," Bella frowned. "Too young to have had one."

"It was my own fault. But, I know that I can't do that shit anymore," I said. The waiter came with the bill. I slipped my credit card into the folder and handed it back to him. "I have too much to live for." I stared into Bella's eyes and willed that she knew that I was talking about her. She was my life. I'd do anything for her. Absolutely anything. The waiter returned with the check. I quickly figured out the tip and signed the slip. I offered Bella my hand and led her down to the entrance.

The valet pulled up the car. I helped Bella into the passenger seat and slid into the driver's side, giving the attendant a tip. I laced my fingers with Bella's and drove us back to the house. She was quiet. Introspective, almost. However, her fingers were gripping mine tightly. I pulled into the garage and helped Bella out of the car.

"I need to do something upstairs," I said once we were inside.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Everything's fine," I said as I cupped her chin. "I just want to make this perfect. For you."

"It will be," she whispered. I smiled and kissed her lips.

"I'll come get you when I'm ready," I said with a wink. She rolled her eyes and sat down in the living room. I darted up the stairs and put the candles around the room. I lit them with my lighter and removed my tie. The bedroom was bathed in the flickering light of the candles. It was filled with the scent of French vanilla.

I went back downstairs and found Bella surfing on my laptop. The site that was open was one on surrogacy. It was obvious that she wanted to have children. With me. I couldn't believe that. I still couldn't believe that she loved me. That she wanted me. All of me. I snuck up behind her and gently kissed her neck. She jumped slightly but melted into my embrace. She turned in my arms. Her hands moved to my neck and she pulled my face closer to hers. She tentatively caressed her lips against mine. I followed her lead and moved my mouth with hers.

"Take me upstairs, Edward," she murmured against my mouth. I smiled and picked her up, bridal style. Our lips were still moving with each other as I carried her up the stairs. Once we got into the bedroom, I pulled my face away from hers. Bella gasped quietly as she looked around the room. The candles were flickering and it was romantic. "It's so beautiful, Edward."

"You're more beautiful," I said as I kissed her lips. She giggled and reached for the buttons of my shirt. She unbuttoned about half of them before I set her down on her feet. The rest of my shirt was undone and it was tossed onto the floor. She went to kiss my chest, but I captured her chin. "This is about you, love."

"But…"

"No buts," I said as kissed her lips. I moved my mouth along her jaw, nibbling on her supple skin. My hands moved to her back and I pulled her flush to my body. She moaned quietly as she tangled her hands into my hair. My lips moved down her neck and I kissed along her collarbones. I reached behind her and gently pulled on the zipper of her dress. It loosened. I pushed the strap of her dress over her shoulder and I kissed her flesh. Her moans were getting louder. "I love the sounds you make, love."

"Keep it up and you'll get more of 'em," she smirked.

"All night, beautiful," I said as I pulled the dress from her body. She was telling the truth about being completely naked underneath her dress. My breath caught as I saw her beautiful body. She blushed furiously and went to cover herself. "Don't, Bella. You're perfect."

"Hardly," she snorted.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world to me," I said as I captured her chin, staring into her cinnamon depths. She opened her mouth to protest but I silenced it with a kiss. I pushed us back to the bed and lay Bella onto the comforter. She opened her legs and settled between them. We kissed heavily for a few moments before I started traveling further south. I'd felt her body and now I needed a taste. I swirled my tongue along her nipple and gently cupped her other breast. She arched into my touch and I smiled against her skin. I kissed further down her body until I reached her bellybutton.

"Edward," she said as she looked down at me. "You don't…I want you to…but…"

"Shhh, love," I said as I fell to my knees in front of her. "Let me make you feel good. Please?" She bit her lip and nodded. I picked up one of her legs and kissed from her ankle to her inner thigh. Her body rolled at my touch. I repeated the same action with the other leg. I watched her with rapt attention as I wanted to see her. See her come undone. See her explode in pleasure on my fingers. On my face. On my tongue.

I spread her legs and stared at her glistening sex. I swallowed convulsively before pressing my lips to her swollen bud. Once I did, Bella let out the most glorious moan. Her legs fell over my shoulders and her hands tangled into my hair. She was pulling on it painfully but it felt so good. The taste of Bella was amazing. She was sweet with a slight spiciness. I swirled my tongue on her clit. Her hips moved in conjunction with my tongue. Her hands moved to her breasts. She was squeezing and teasing them with her fingers. My cock was straining in my pants.

I needed her.

I wanted her.

I loved her.

And I'd have her.

Tonight.

I spread her lips with my fingers and gently nibbled on her clit as I slipped my other hand into her warmth. She jerked her body at the feeling. I gently pumped my fingers into her body, reveling in how tight she was. She was perfect. She was beautiful. She was mine.

_Mine!_

I curled my fingers into her body, feeling soft, spongy spot of her body that made her come. Her hands moved to my hair and she tugged on it forcefully. I sucked on her clit and flicked it with my tongue as I curled my fingers. "Edward," she moaned loudly. "Fuck!"

"Later, love," I said as nibbled on her swollen bud. She arched off the bed and thrust her hips closer to my face. Her moans and groans were getting louder. The muscles of her pussy were clinching my fingers and I could feel that she was close. She gripped the sheets as she squeezed my head with her thighs. I kept my mouth on her clit as I pumped and curled into her body. Bella let out a guttural scream as she clamped down on my fingers. Her arousal spilled out of her body forcefully. I kept my face attached to her body as she rode out her orgasm. I flicked her clit a few time until she pushed my head away from her pussy. I leaned my head against her thigh. "So?"

"Your tongue should be bronzed, Whip," she giggled. "But I still want you."

"Good, because I think I bust off the button off my pants," I smirked. She laughed and dragged me up to her mouth. She kissed my lips sweetly. She moaned quietly as she tasted herself on my tongue and lips. Her fingers moved to my pants and she all but ripped the button and zipper down. My pants and boxers were pooled around my ankles. I crawled onto the bed and lay on my back. Bella arched her brow. "You're in control, love."

"You'll move if I ask you to, right?" she questioned.

"Yep, but you set the pace," I said as I had her straddle my legs. She pumped my arousal and bit her lip. "Are you sure you want this?"

Her cinnamon eyes met mine and she laced her fingers with mine. "I've never been surer in my life," she murmured. She moved over my cock and slowly eased her heat over me.

_Sweet baby Jesus…_

"Edward. God," she moaned as she fully enveloped me into her body. She looked down at me and slowly rotated her hips. Nothing could describe how it felt to be inside of her. With no condom.

_Shit!_

"Bella," I moaned as I sat up cupping her face. "I know it's a little late, but do you want me to wear a condom?"

"No. All of you," she murmured. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she undulated over me. I'd never had sex without a condom and I know that pregnancy wasn't an issue. I was going into sensory overload. I could feel all of her heat. All of her arousal. All of her. I seriously was going to come if I didn't come if I didn't calm down.

As Bella moved above me, she stared into my eyes. I followed suit and gently cupped her face as we made love. Every ounce of love that I felt for this woman was being poured out of my soul as I moved with her. She kissed my face, my lips, my eyes, my cheeks as she moved. "I love you, Edward," she whispered.

"I adore you, Bella. Forever, love," I said reverently. She moved faster on my cock and her eyes fluttered shut. I moved my hips with hers and I was inside of her so deeply. I could feel the tingle in my belly of my impending release. I was so close. "Bella…I'm…"

"Let go, Edward. I want to feel you come inside me," she said as she tugged on my hair. Her words were my undoing. My jaw fell open and I came inside of her body, filling her with my release. She moaned and I felt her muscles clamp down. We moved our hips a few more times before I slipped out of her folds. "That was amazing, Whip."

"It was. I think the earth tipped on its axis," I said as ran my fingers along her spine. "Are you okay?"

"Better than okay. I'm perfect," she smiled. "Thank you for being so gentle. I know you have a wild side, but I needed this."

"Like I said, you were in charge. I won't ever push you to do something that you are not comfortable doing," I murmured.

"Before the attack, I was comfortable doing anything," she said. "I want to get back to that. I want it all with you, Whip."

"And I'll try my best to give you it all," I said as I brushed her hair from her slightly flushed face. She kissed my lips and crawled off my lap. She got under the covers. I blew out the candles and curled around her. She laced her fingers with mine and kissed my jaw. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Whip," she giggled.

"Bane."

"Yep. Go to sleep, Whip. I expect round two sometime in the middle of the night," she laughed.

"Good lord, I've created a monster," I snorted.

"Yes. Yes. You did. But you love me. Good night, Whip," she said.

"Good night, Bane," I sighed.

**A/N: They did it. Do you think there will be repercussions on Bella's behalf? Anyhow, I hope you liked it. Update will probably be sometime next weekend. Also, check out my blog for any teasers or pictures from the story. Link is in my profile. Leave me some! **


	22. Chapter 22

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a really cool smelling candle, left over pizza and neighbors who leave their child's baby stroller on the front porch. **_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Twenty-Two: All Good Things…**

Bella and I made love several times that night. Each time, she was getting more and more comfortable. And more vocal with telling me what she wanted. We finally fell asleep about dawn. We slept most of the day before packing up the house and heading back to Seattle. I could tell that Bella was saddened about going to back. We had so much fun in Chicago.

Hell, I was sad to go back. I didn't want to go back to school or deal with the shop drama. Also, James was still out and about. He could come and hurt Bella or me. I didn't want that to happen. I couldn't let it happen.

Suffice it to say, the drive back to O'Hare was a somber one.

The flight was long and when we landed, there was a tension floating between Bella and me. Not because of our relationship, but about what was happening in our lives. Bella was going back to work at Dreamstyle. James was still at large. I had classes but wanted to be near my love. I was almost tempted to scoop Bella up and fly her to some far away island where we could make love like bunnies and not be bothered by all of this bullshit.

Alice and Jasper met us at the airport. They drove us back to the house in Bellevue. With hugs, we headed inside. I looked around the house while Bella readied our laundry. I wanted to make sure that nothing was out of place. Alice and Jasper had looked after the house while we were gone, but I was still paranoid. Once the laundry was flipped to the dryer, Bella and I went to sleep. Or rather, tried to fall asleep. I couldn't get comfortable to save my soul. I was freaking out over the possibility of James getting my girl.

The next morning, Bella and I woke up. I was crabby because I had finally managed to get to sleep around four in the morning. The alarm went off at 6:30. I showered and kissed my girl before heading to UDub. Before my music class, I poked my head into the professor's office. I wanted to make sure he received my assignment. He smiled and said that it was the best one of the class. I thanked him before heading into the lecture hall.

The day went by slowly. I found myself nodding off in my classes. I finally buckled between my psychology class and biology to pick up a large coffee. I sipped the bitter drink and padded to the biology building. I pulled out my lab report, depositing it onto the bin in the front of the hall. The coffee helped me get through lecture. But not by much.

After bio, I went to the student union to get some lunch before history. I nibbled on sandwich and chips. Jasper came over to me, sitting across from me at my table. "You look like hell, Edward."

"Thanks, Dr. Whitlock," I said, rolling my eyes. "I slept like shit last night."

"Worried about your girl?"

"Yeah. I'm constantly on edge because of James," I shuddered.

"I didn't want to tell you this last night, but I've seen James here on campus," Jasper said with a grimace. "He's been talking to this redhead. I don't know her name, but she's a graduate student in the history department."

"Can you find out for me?" I asked him.

"I'll see what I can do, Edward," Jasper said. "Please promise me that you won't do anything rash."

"I can't make that promise, Jasper. He hurt my love. He ruined her. If I come face to face with that fucker, James is toast," I spat. "If he did what he did to Bella to your Alice, you'd feel the same way."

"I probably would," Jasper said. I raised my brows. Jasper gave me a frown. "I definitely would."

"That's what I thought," I said smugly. "When am I taking my test?"

"Are you available after class?"

"I am," I said.

"Cool. You can take it in my office once class is dismissed," Jasper said. "Come on, Whip."

Rolling my eyes, I followed Jasper to his classroom. His lecture was about World War I. He was so into his lecture; you couldn't help but be drawn in. After the class, Jasper explained that he'd have the tests for us next class. I blushed slightly knowing that I was the cause of that. He probably had all of the tests graded but couldn't distribute them because of my 'family emergency.'

I took my test in Jasper's office. It was pretty cut and dry. When I was finished with it, I handed it to Jasper. He quickly graded it for me. He gave me two thumbs up, saying that I aced it. I was mildly freaking out since I hadn't studied at all. With a hand shake, I left Jasper's office and jogged to my car. I looked around before I pulled away. I needed to make sure that James was not nearby. I drove back to the mansion in Bellevue.

I settled on the family room couch and began working on my homework. I had several chapters to read for my classes and I needed to work on a major assignment for psychology revolving around the multiple intelligences by Gartner. I had finished my reading assignments and was working on my outline for my paper. Bella came in and plopped down next to me.

"So fucking tired," she grumbled.

I kissed her temple. "Me, too, love. No sleep last night kind of sucked," I said. "How was work?"

"Fine. Emmett told Angela that she was let go and she went bat shit crazy," Bella explained. "She trashed his office in a fit of rage. I had to take all of her appointments for today. My hand fucking hurts. It was the most tattoos I'd done in a long time, Whip."

I picked up her hand and massaged her wrist. She leaned against me with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, love. Is there anything I can do?"

"You're doing it, Whip," she said. "How was class?"

"Other than boring?" I snickered. "Yeah, boring. Incredibly boring."

"Why was it boring?"

"Exhaustion and vapid college girls still trying to get into my pants," I sighed. "Plus I had to take a test in history today. My brain is sufficiently fried."

"Would some loving solve your problems?" she giggled.

"Tempting, but I'm so tired, Bella," I moaned, burying my face into her curls. "I slept a little less than two hours last night."

"Why, Edward?"

"Stressed, Bella," I said as I held her tighter. "I just want James gone and dead."

"You and me both, stud," she said as she turned to face me. She straddled my waist and stared into my eyes. "Emmett said that he saw James wandering around the neighborhood of the shop. He got a restraining order against him for all of us in the shop. I would suggest calling up your lawyer friend to get a restraining order for us, too."

"I'll call Jenks in the morning," I said as I kissed her lips. Once my mouth touched hers, something ignited in my pants and I needed her. She must have felt too as her hands moved to my hem of my shirt. Our clothes were soon in a pile next to the couch. As I slid into her heat, all of my stresses melted away. The only thing that mattered was the beautiful woman I held in my arms. That I kissed with my lips. That I loved more than my own life.

After our tryst on the couch, we dressed and ate some food. Bella used my laptop to sign up for some online courses for getting her GED. She was apologizing profusely for spending the money that I was giving her. I wouldn't have it. I swiped the computer from her and finished registering her for her classes. I typed in my credit card number with a flourish and kissed her 'E.'

She started her online classes next week.

With a few smacks, she finally calmed down. I was just laughing hysterically at Bella's fear of her classes. I got a swift kick to the shin for that one. I told her that I was back in school as an undergrad. At twenty-eight. She can handle a few online courses. She pouted profusely, giving me the sad puppy dog look. I kissed the pout away and we went to bed.

xx EC:AWIP xx

The next few weeks went by quickly. I was nearing the end of my first semester in school. I was walking into my finals with a perfect GPA. Thankfully. Bella had completed her online course and received her GED. I had her diploma framed once it was sent to us and mounted above the piano in the music room. She cried when she saw it. I told her that I was proud of her. I truly was. She had managed to get a perfect score on her test and graduated with honors.

I tried to convince her to take classes at UDub, but she wasn't ready for that. Besides, her classes online caused her some stress. She admitted to me that she was jonesing for a fix. I talked her down and we ended up making love on the piano that night.

Yeah, she was insatiable.

Not that I'm complaining. But, damn.

My guess was that she was replacing her addiction to drugs for an addiction to sex. And that did concern me. At our next couples therapy appointment with Dr. Meyers, I brought it up. Bella blushed and hid her face in her hands. Dr. Meyers asked if she was using sex as a substitute for her drug addiction. After some coaxing, she admitted she was. Dr. Meyers said that sex with your partner should be something special and not a form of release. While Bella insisted that every time we had sex, it was meaningful and special, sometimes it was just fucking. For our homework, Dr. Meyers had us try to do something romantic for each other that did NOT result in sex.

For the romantic evening I had planned, I took Bella to a local poetry slam. She was enthralled with the talent of the artists and actually got inspired to write. She kissed me, thanking me for the special date. We just cuddled that night.

For her romantic date for me, Bella took me to some premier of a new piece of music by one of my favorite composers, Carter Burwell as a celebration of my completion of my first semester of college. I was giddy with anticipation as we sat down in the seats to listen to his music. While the concert was going on, I held her hand and caressed her soft knuckles. Again, we just cuddled with each other and didn't make love.

Now, don't get me wrong. My sex life with Bella is healthy. We are actually pretty freaky in bed together. I never thought I'd meet my match in the freakiness category until I met Bella. But, the point of our romantic dates was to even out the freaky in our relationship with the love and romance. It was a nice combination now of freaky and romance. I fucking loved it.

So did Bella.

I think the most freaky place we did it was in the Aston Martin, overlooking Puget Sound in the middle of the day. A family of four was less than fifty feet away as we were making love in my car.

Anyhow, I digress.

I was currently in line, registering for classes for the next semester. I was pretty much taking all psych classes this time around, with the exception of chemistry and some humanities class. I finished registration and went to the bookstore to get my textbooks for this insane semester. I had my arms filled with my shitload of books and I walked to purchase them. However, someone was not watching where they were going and caused me to drop all of my crap.

"Fuck," I grumbled. I crouched down and gathered my books.

"I'm so sorry," a redheaded girl said, biting her lip. "I wasn't paying attention. Let me help you."

"Thanks," I said coldly as I gathered my books. She finished grabbing my texts and followed me to the checkout counter.

"I'm Victoria, by the way," she said, thrusting her hand toward me.

I arched a brow at her. "Emmett," I said, giving a fake name. "Nice to meet you, Victoria."

"You too, Emmett," she said, batting her eyes at me. Her hair was bright red and curled in loose ringlets. Her eyes were bright and green, similar to mine. Her skin was pale and smattered with freckles. "You an undergrad?"

"Yep. Psychology major," I answered. "You?"

"I'm working on my dissertation on the Civil War. I'm in the doctorate program," she tittered. "You're a little old to be an undergrad."

"Late start," I replied tersely. "You're a little young to be getting a doctorate."

"Genius," she said with a smug grin. "Want to go out for coffee?"

"No. Sorry. I have to work and I'm meeting my fiancée for dinner," I said.

"Fiancee? Damn," she pouted. "All the cute ones are taken."

"I'm not cute, Victoria," I said as I signed the credit slip from the cashier. "I'm actual a pretty big asshole. So, on that note, I'm going to go. Good luck with your dissertation."

"Thanks, Emmett," she said as she laid her hand on my forearm. I shrugged off her hand and grabbed my bags with my books. I left the bookstore quickly. Victoria was watching me like a hawk as I left. I walked to my car and put my books into the trunk. I looked over my shoulder as I eased into my car. I didn't want Victoria seeing what I drove because she fit the description of who James was talking to, based off of Jasper's account of the girl. He never found out her name, but he got swamped with a ton of work after he told me.

I drove away from the campus, heading to Dreamstyle. I parked the car and went inside. Bella and Rose were in the main area of the shop. Emmett was in his office. I plopped down on the stool opposite my girl. I put my head on her shoulder. "What's wrong, Whip?"

"Just freaking out," I sighed.

"About school?" Rose asked.

"No. I'm not worried about that. It's just that I ran into this chick in the bookstore," I said. "She freaked me out, slightly."

"Why? Was she eight feet tall and scary?" Rose giggled.

"No. She was like as tall as Angela with bright red hair," I said. "She matched the description of a girl that was seen with our favorite former tattoo artist."

"She was seen with James?" Bella squeaked.

"Yeah. On campus," I said as I caressed her cheek. "Jasper told me that while we were in Chicago, he saw this girl talking with James. I explained that to you."

"You did," Bella said as she sat down on my lap. "Do you think she's capable of anything?"

"If she's associating with James, she's probably capable of doing some serious damage to anyone of us," I said, tightening my hold on her. "I can't…"

"Nothing is going to happen, Edward," Bella said as she hugged me. I nodded against her shoulder, breathing in her scent. If only I could believe her.

I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall.

Fuck me…

**A/N: So, Victoria is working with the halfwit, James. Up next will be a confrontation between Bella, Victoria and Edward, possibly James. We'll have to see. Anyhow, thanks for reading and make sure you check out my blog for some sneak peeks/pictures. Leave me some!**


	23. Chapter 23

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a mini-Christmas tree, a bunch of snowman decorations and major crush on a guy that will never want to be with me because he has a girlfriend.**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Bowling and Redheads**

The semester started and I didn't see Victoria after that day in the bookstore. Jenks had guaranteed that the restraining order against James was rock solid and that he couldn't come within fifty feet of us. But will that deter him? Probably not. He was just that fucking crazy.

Classes were kicking my ass. This semester was definitely harder than last semester. Thankfully, Emmett allowed me to cut back on my hours at the shop so I could get my studying in. Ironically, the time that I was there, I managed to crank out quality work and still earn my regular salary. Bella was pretty much back to normal, attitude-wise. She was still hesitant about closing the shop without me or Emmett. So, she never did.

Her progress at Legacy was fantastic and she was down to two days a week, in the mornings. Her relationship with drugs and alcohol will always be one that she will struggle with but she was healing. I was so fucking proud of her. She had made it to a huge milestone: six months sober. No drugs. No alcohol. We celebrated in true Dreamstyle 'style' and went bowling as a staff. When Emmett suggested it, Bella looked at him like he had eight heads. But, we went anyway and it was a lot of fun.

We were getting ready to bowl the final game when Bella and Rose sidled up to me. "So, Whip, let's make a bet," Rose said with a wry grin.

"No way. You two are scheming," I said, shaking my head.

"No, we're not," Bella laughed, her cinnamon eyes twinkling.

"Yes. You are," I said.

"Okay, we are," Rose admitted. "Anyhow, don't you want to know the bet?"

"It'll probably be something insanely difficult and I win a puppy or something. No thank you," I said as I sipped my Coke.

"But, Edward, I want a puppy," Bella teased. "Please? Something cute and cuddly to shit and piss all over our carpeting."

"Yeah. Not happening, Bella. I love you and all that jazz, but we are not getting a puppy," I proclaimed. "We can barely take care of ourselves."

"Oh, chillax, Whip," Rose said as she smacked my arm. "Here's the bet. You're a pretty decent bowler. Shocking but true. Anyhow, if you get a turkey in this last game, we get to have some fun. The three of us."

"Excuse me?" I squeaked. "And Emmett is okay with this?"

"Yep," Rose smirked. "There will have to be rules, though. But we'll get to those if you get a turkey."

"If I don't," I hedged.

"You let Rose pierce your cock," Bella replied. "After you pierce my clit, though. We'll both be healing at the same time."

"It all comes back to my peen. Why do you want to pierce my penis?" I groaned.

Emmett came up behind me and slapped my back. "You won't regret it. Trust me, Edward," he smirked. "Do. It."

"You have a Prince Albert?" I asked, arching a brow.

"Rosie did it for me," he said with a goofy grin. "The sex is FUCKING amazing. Right, Rosie?"

"Fuck yeah," Rose smirked. "So, are you game?"

"You can't lose, Cullen. If you get a turkey, you get a fuckhot threesome," Emmett said.

"And you're okay with this?" I asked.

"You won't be fucking my girl, you'll just be having an extra person to have fun with. If you dick comes anywhere near her, I will chop it off," Emmett said.

"If you get the turkey, we'll discuss the rules," Bella said as she laced her fingers with mine. "So, are you interested?"

I looked down at her. Bella's face was pulled up in an impish grin and her fingers were gliding over my belly. "I'm so going to regret this."

"No, you won't, Whip. At least it'll be a threesome with me and not Alice," Rose said as she kissed my neck and ruffled my hair.

"I resemble that statement, Rosalie Hale," Alice chirped. "I'll have you know that I've had a threesome or two before I met my Jazzy."

"Sure, Midget," I snickered.

"I have. Right, Bells?" she asked, waggling her brows.

"Fuck," she moaned as she buried her face against my chest.

"You and Alice?" I asked as I brushed her hair from her face. She nodded and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"We were both drunk and had some fun with Emmett," Alice said. "Jasper and I were still in the getting to know you phase and yeah. It was fun. I never knew that a girl could be so soft. I had one prior to that, but I was even more drunk and I didn't remember it."

"We are an incestuous bunch, aren't we?" I quipped. "You're not secretly gay, are you, Jas?"

"I'm hot for you, Edward," he said in a very effeminate voice. He skipped over to me and planted searing kiss on my lips.

I shuddered. "Yeah, that's weird. I just kissed one of my _teachers_!"

"I'm not your teacher anymore, lover," he said as he ruffled my hair affectionately. "You got your 'A' and now we can finally be together." His hand snaked into my back pocket of my jeans and he squeezed my ass.

"Hey, Dr. Whitlock, paws off my ass," Bella said as she swatted his hand away from me. "You got your freebie and now you're done."

"Well, fuck," Jasper pouted. "Perhaps later, stud."

"Ah, no," I said as I snuck behind Bella, wrapping my arms around her waist. "I like women. Very much. This one in particular."

"Oh, fine," Jasper grumbled. "You were just a placeholder while I waited for my Alice. Oh, Alice!"

Alice flitted to him and jumped into his arms, kissing his lips soundly. "I love you, Jazzy. You're so silly!"

"Ready for the last game, Whip?" Bella asked, kissing my nose.

"Sure, Bane," I sighed. I picked up the house ball that was an interesting combination of chartreuse and pink and lined myself up with the arrows on the lane. I hurdled the ball down the lane and got a strike. "That's one."

"Good job, Whip!" Alice chirped. Emmett strode past me and smacked me on the ass. I plopped down on one of the seats and pulled Bella into my lap. She kissed my ear, twirling my earring with her tongue until she nestled closer to my chest.

The game went by smoothly. I hadn't gotten another strike until the eighth frame. I was determined to get that damn turkey because I did not want to get my cock pierced. Plus the idea of having a threesome with Bella and Rose excited me.

A little.

Okay. A lot.

Oh, who am I kidding? That's fucking hot! I don't want to have sex with Rose but seeing Bella with another woman is something that…damn. I can't even imagine it. Well, I could, but I could actually experience it!

I got a strike in the ninth frame. I just needed one more.

Three strikes. It was so close, I could taste it!

I readied myself in the tenth frame. I glared down the lane, having a silent conversation with the pins. _You will fall down, damn it. FALL. I want a damn turkey. Papa wants a threesome. _I bit my lip and moved toward the edge of the lane. I threw the ball down the slick aisle and willed the pins to fall. They exploded and I jumped up, whooping loudly. I think I actually gobbled.

"Um, Eddie," Emmett snickered.

"What?" I asked.

"You didn't get it," Jasper said, barely containing his laughter.

I whipped around and saw the dreaded seven/ten split. "What?! NO! They went down. Come on!" I yelled.

"Edward's getting a new piercing," Emmett sang.

"Fuck my life," I grumbled. I slumped into the chair, pouting like a petulant child.

"Edward, you have finish out the frame," Alice said, barely able to contain her laughter.

"Okay, modified bet," Rose quipped. "If you get this split, the same rules apply. We'll have fun and no cock piercing. If you don't get it, then you get some new jewelry."

"Get your fucking gun ready," I grumbled. "There is no way that I can get that."

"Come on, Eddie. Don't quit now," Jasper chided.

I flipped him off and picked up my ball. I cursed the stupid pins and readied my stance. I whipped the ball down the lane. I couldn't even watch it as it barreled toward the pins. I sat down next to Bella like a brat and crossed my arms over my chest. It was no surprise that I just got one of the two pins. I wrinkled my nose and mentally prepared myself for my new embellishment.

"It hurts Edward, but the pain is so worth it," Emmett said with a smirk.

"Whatever," I grumbled.

"Edward, we'll be healing together and when we're good to go then fireworks, stud," Bella purred in my ear. "Plus, we'll have fun together before we take the plunge."

I nodded and pulled Bella onto my lap. I buried my face into her neck as she chuckled. We finished the game and went to our respective homes. I was still pissy that I didn't get a chance to have a threesome, but in a way I was glad, too. I didn't want to share my girl with anyone else, even if it was Rose. Once we got home, Bella and I made love, slowly, reverently and passionately.

Our time to do so was limited as Rose made the appointment for my new adornment in three days. Subsequently, Bella's clit was going to be pierced in three days. Then we had approximately six weeks before we could really do anything else.

_Shit._

The next morning, Bella had therapy and I had to go to class. I was stressing over my abnormal psychology class. It was, well, abnormal. Some weird, freaky shit in that class. We were having a test in that class today and I hadn't really studied. I finished my exam and left my classroom, turning in the exam to my professor. I was walking to the student union when I heard my name being yelled. Or rather, 'Emmett's' name.

"Emmett! Hey, Emmett!"

I turned around and saw Victoria running toward me. Her red hair trailing behind her. I grimaced but waited for her.

"Thanks for waiting, Emmett," she smiled. "I haven't seen you around."

"Been busy," I replied curtly. "You know, class?"

"Right," she giggled. "Are you still with your girlfriend?"

"Fiancée," I responded. "And yes. Actually getting closer to the big day."

"You don't seem like the type of guy who would settle down. More of a party guy, looking for a girl who likes to have a good time. I can show that to you," she said with a seductive smirk.

"No thanks, Victoria. I'm truly happy with my fiancée," I said as I picked up my pace toward the union.

"I can't convince you otherwise?" she pouted as she placed her hand on my chest. "I've been told that I have a magical tongue."

"Victoria, I've said it once and I shouldn't have to say it again. Please leave me alone," I snarled. I was tired of being followed by this psycho.

Her flirtatious smile dropped and it turned into a vicious sneer. "Okay, you drop the act, Edward," she snapped. "I know who you are. I know who your 'fiancée' is and what he wants. You think you're safe? You're not. He knows all."

I gulped. However, I didn't break my glare from her eyes. "If you're so close to him, then tell him a message for me. If he comes near me, Bella or anyone in my family, James is a dead man. If I see your fucking face again, I will not hesitate to call the cops. James is an animal and you are fucking stupid and pathetic to be helping him. Do you know what he did?"

"Yeah, he told me. Stupid bitch deserved it," Victoria fumed.

I was so close to hitting her. I wanted to hit her. My hands clenched and I narrowed my eyes at her. She smirked and turned to walk away. I whipped out my cell phone and decided to call the cops. I explained what happened. They extended the restraining order against James to include Victoria. I got her last name from Jasper. Once I finished with the cops, I went to Jasper's office to explain what had happened. Jasper told me that as we were talking, Victoria was being escorted from the premises and having lost her position at the school. As it turned out, there were several complaints against Victoria from her students in her classes that she taught and my complaint and restraining order was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

Jasper told me to leave campus and check on Bella. I hemmed and hawed, explaining that I had classes. Jasper all but shoved me out of his office, proclaiming he'd take care of it. I ran through the quad to my car. I sped through the streets to Dreamstyle Ink. I parked in the back and ran into the shop.

"Edward?" Rose squeaked. She was outside smoking a cigarette, a habit she picked up from both me and Bella. I turned and looked at her. "You could use this more than me."

I swiped the cigarette from her and inhaled deeply. "Thanks, Rose," I said. "Is Bella back from therapy?"

"Yeah, she came in about fifteen minutes ago. Why?"

"I just need to talk to her," I murmured. I chained smoke three cigarettes before heading into the shop. I went toward her station and sat down on the stool, rolling toward her.

"Whip! You should be in school," she chastised. "Are you ditching?"

"Sort of," I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist. "I need to talk to you, love. In Emmett's office."

Emmett was working on a tattoo on some petite blonde woman. I nodded to his office and he gave me a frown but indicated that we could go in there. I laced my fingers with Bella's and we walked to Emmett's office. I sat us down on the couch in the tiny office.

"Edward, you're scaring me," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, love," I said as caressed her cheeks. "I don't want you to be afraid, but I ran into Victoria again on campus. She knows who I am and what James did to you."

"What?" Bella squeaked. "Edward, if she knows who you are, then…"

"I know, Bella. I know. I've already spoken to the police and had the restraining order amended to include Victoria. She's also been removed from the UDub staff. I'm just worried, Bella. I can't lose you. I just got you and…" I said as I dropped my gaze to her lap. "I can't."

"I know, Edward. I can't lose you either. I love you, Whip," she said as she straddled my waist. As her arms wrapped around my neck, tears spilled over my cheeks. I held her tightly and sobs filled the office. Both of us were clinging to each other, crying over the craziness of our lives.

I pulled away and stared into her cinnamon eyes. She crushed her lips against mine, plunging her tongue into my mouth. Her fingers tangled into my hair. I pressed my fingers into the soft curve of her ass, pulling her closer to my body. "Edward, make love to me."

"Here?" I asked as I kissed down her neck.

"Yes. I need it. I need you. Please. We need to forget," she said fervently.

"Let me just lock the door," I said. She nodded and let me up. I flipped the lock and was promptly attacked by my girl. She frantically unbuttoned my shirt and pushed it down my arms. I practically ripped the long-sleeved t-shirt she wore from her body and tossed it on the floor. She was wearing a black and red bra that hoisted her perfect breasts to new heights. "Fuck, Bella."

She smirked and pushed me onto the couch. She straddled my waist and unbuckled my belt of my jeans. I didn't remove her fuckhot bra. I just merely lowered the cups and suckled on her nipples. She moaned loudly. I pulled away and held my finger to my lips. We needed to be quiet. She blushed and nodded. Bella stood up. She shimmied out of her skinny jeans, taking her matching black and red panties off with them. I finished unbuckling my jeans and shoved them down my legs. Bella straddled my hips and gently pumped my hardened length. We were kissing feverishly while she worked me to a near frenzy.

"Make love to me, Edward," she murmured against to my mouth. "No, fuck me. Hard."

I stood us up and bent Bella over the edge of the couch. Her delectable ass was on display for me to take. She looked over her shoulder, giving me a coy smile. I cupped her sex, feeling her wetness seep out of her body. "So ready for me, Isabella," I cooed as slid one finger into her body.

"Edward, I fucking need you," she pleaded.

I bent my knees and lined myself up with her entrance. I teased her body slightly, slipping my head of my cock into her slick folds. She wiggled her ass. With a smug look on my face, I slid into her body easily. She buried her face into the cushions of the pillows to cover her loud moan. I pounded into her relentlessly. She swiveled her hips, glaring back at me with an animalistic like snarl on her beautiful face. My hands were digging into her hips as I slammed into her.

Bella reached between her legs and began rubbing her clit. I could feel her fingers gently graze my cock as I moved in and out of her. My hair was flopping in my eyes and I could feel my own release build. The tension filled my belly. Bella was close too. Her muscles were contracting around my erection.

"Edward, harder," Bella demanded. "Fuck me!"

"Your wish is my command, Isabella," I choked out as I moved faster and harder into her body. Bella met me, each movement becoming more animalistic. The couch was moving steadily closer to the wall of Emmett's office. I was buried so deeply in Bella. She felt fucking amazing, so tight and wet around my cock. Bella moaned loudly, rubbing her clit with her fingers. Before I knew it, she clamped down around my cock. Bella buried her face in the cushions of the couch, screaming in complete ecstasy. Seeing her reach her climax caused me to lose control and I released within her tight body.

Bella gave me a sated grin. I slid from her body and fell to the floor, completely spent. "That was fucking intense," she giggled. She grabbed her pants and pulled them up her legs. I nodded and pulled up my own jeans around my hips. Not trusting my voice, I nodded. She sat down next to me on the floor, putting her head on my shoulder. "I want to go to some tropical island, far away from here."

"Me too, love," I said as I pulled her to my body. "I just want this whole ordeal to be over. Let's go home, Bella. Do you have any appointments today?"

"No, I don't," she murmured.

"Good. I need to hold you, make love to you and forget this bullshit," I said as I stood up. We finished getting dressed. I told Emmett that we were leaving. He asked what happened and I gave him the abbreviated version. He readily let us leave. We left Bella's car at the shop and drove home in my Volvo. We spent the rest of the day and night in bed, making love. We both needed to feel the other. Expressing our feelings about each other. Loving each other. Reassuring our shattered minds and nervous hearts.

As much as I wanted to say that it helped, it really didn't. Honestly, my heart was more broken at the possibility of losing her than before. I was near my breaking point and jonesing for a fix. Desperately.

I picked up my cell phone and searched my contacts for the number I tried to erase, but never could. The one name that teased me every time I looked in my contacts list.

_Garrett._

**A/N: And who's Garrett? Honestly, I'm struggling with this puppy. I love my characters but I'm losing focus. Gah! Anyhow, up next we'll find out who Garrett is and the James nonsense builds in intensity. Leave me some…**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a stalker (creepy, right?), a sore arm from lifting a speaker wrong and a very hectic couple of weeks**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Garrett**

"Edward? Do you have class tomorrow?" Bella asked, breaking me from my reverie. I put my cell phone on the nightstand, giving her a smile.

_Garrett will have to wait._

"No, love. I'm at the shop tomorrow," I answered. "Why?"

"I called Dr. Greene and I have an appointment with her tomorrow. This whole Victoria business has me unsettled. I need you to drive me to the shop to get my car," Bella explained. I nodded and held open my arms. Bella, who was still very much naked, crawled back into bed and put her head on my chest. Within a few moments, Bella is snoring quietly and drooling on my left pec. I tightened my hold around her body, trying to will myself to go to sleep. It just wasn't happening. Each time I closed my eyes, I pictured James attacking my life. My girl. My Bella. Taking her away from me.

Exhaustion finally took over and I fell asleep around four in the morning.

The next day was hopping at the shop. I barely had time to take a piss all day. As soon as I walked into the shop to when I left at seven, I was tattooing. My right hand was vibrating as I left. My writing will all sorts of fubared tomorrow because of the tattooing today.

After Bella left the shop to go to the Legacy, she never made it back. She did text me to say that she was fine. She just stayed for the whole day at Legacy to work with group about her concerns about James and the stresses it was causing her life. I decided that after work, I would head to the gym. I needed to get rid of some of this pent up aggression. I needed to hit something. I texted Emmett and asked him to meet me at our regular gym at eight.

I swung by the house to pick up some workout clothes. I left a note for Bella saying that I was going to gym. I drove to the facility and changed in the locker room. I bought some water and went to the treadmill, warming up my legs while I waited for Emmett. He breezed in about fifteen minutes later. He gave me a cursory wave before disappearing into the locker room. He came out a few minutes later and we went to the weight machines.

"What's up, Edward?" Emmett asked as we settled into our routine.

"I'm fucked, Emmett," I blurted.

"You wanting?"

"Like you wouldn't fucking believe," I groaned. "All of this stress is making me all twitchy."

"You can't, Edward. It's been nearly a year and half," Emmett said. "Your heart can't take it. Bella can't take it."

"I know," I whispered. "I tried calling Garrett earlier today. Or rather yesterday…"

"Your counselor?"

"Yeah," I shrugged. "He'd give me some tips on how to handle this. Hopefully, but it's not a usual situation. 'I am in desperate need of drugs because my live-in girlfriend's psycho ex-co-worker who raped her is still stalking her. I'm afraid that every day, I'm going to lose her. Can I have some cocaine, please?'"

"You could always go down to Portland to visit him, Edward," Emmett suggested. "He was more than just your counselor; he was your friend, too. Bring Bella. She would enjoy it. Take a long weekend or something."

"That sound really tempting," I pouted. "Maybe after midterms."

"When's that?"

"Week after next," I replied. "I'll call Garrett tonight to see if he's available."

"Good. Now, let's do some work on the weight machines. You're getting scrawny, Eddie," Emmett snickered.

"Shut up, douchenozzle," I scowled. We spent an hour pumping iron. After we worked up a sufficient sweat, Emmett treated me to a protein shake. _Yummy. Heh, not. _ We finished our shakes and headed back to our respective homes. Bella was watching television in the family room with Jasper and Alice.

"Hi, Edward," she said, giving me a half-smile.

"Hey love," I said as I plopped down on the couch.

"Ew, Whip. You smell. Go shower," Alice chirped from the love seat.

"What? My perspiration doesn't turn you on, Midget?" I joked.

"Not really. You smell like an elephant's ass," she blanched. "Shower. Now!"

"Jesus, you're bossy, Alice," Bella giggled.

"And you just NOW realized this?" Alice challenged. Bella growled and stuck out her tongue. I chuckled and got up to shower. Before I headed upstairs, I tossed my sweaty shirt at Alice. She shrieked, holding my clothes like they were toxic waste. I guffawed as I darted up the stairs. Alice was on my heels. "Edward! This is the most disgusting thing ever!" She pounced onto my back, jamming my shirt in my face.

"Alice!" I mumbled into the sweaty cotton. "Don't asphyxiate me."

"Do you not smell the nastiness?" she asked from her perch on my back.

"Not really. But then again, it's my nastiness. I'm kind of immune, Midget," I said as I dumped her unceremoniously on my bed. She glowered at me as she got comfy on the bed. "Are you going to watch me shower, too, Alice? If so, that's fifty shades of fucked up."

"No. I'm not. But, I do have a question for you," Alice said as she leaned forward on her knees. "Are you going to propose to Bella?"

I turned around abruptly, staring at Alice. Her face was turned up in an impish grin. "What?"

"Are you going to propose to Bella? Am I not speaking English, Whip?" Alice giggled.

"Isn't it a little soon?" I squeaked. "I mean, how long have you Jasper been together? You just got engaged a few months ago."

"We're different. While Jasper is my soul mate, we needed to take it slower in the commitment realm of our relationship. It started very casually and morphed to what you see today. Even now, we're pretty casual when it comes to our relationship. How many times have I kissed you?" Alice asked, arching a brow.

"This is true," I said as I crossed my arms over my bare chest. "Yet, you're getting married. When are you getting married?"

"Who's to say that we already aren't married?" Alice suggested with a waggle of her brows.

"Wait, what?" I squeaked.

"Later, Whip," Alice chirped as she danced out of my bedroom, tossing my shirt at my head. I rolled my eyes and showered quickly, hosing off the sweat I had accumulated from my workout with Emmett. I dressed in a pair of jeans and t-shirt, leaving my hair damp from my shower. Before I went downstairs, I took out my cell phone. With a heavy sigh, I found Garrett's number.

"Just do it, Edward. You need some extra help. Garrett can do that for you," I said. I dialed his number and waited impatiently for the phone to ring.

"Garrett Burke," he said professionally.

"Garrett, it's Edward Cullen," I said nervously.

"Edward! Wow! How are you doing, man?" he asked. "Still clean?"

"I am. A year and a half," I said proudly. "How are you? How's Kate?"

"Pregnant," Garrett groaned. "We just found out and she's in the puking everything up phase. My poor girl can't keep anything down."

"I'm sorry, Garrett," I frowned. "But congrats. When is she due?"

"Late April, early May," Garrett answered. "Our first. I can't believe it. So, what's up?"

"I was wondering if I could come down and we could talk? I'm having some personal issues and I really, REALLY want something. It's not a dire need but you could always get through my thick skull."

"Sure, Edward. When works for you?" Garrett asked.

"In two weeks? The second weekend in November?" I suggested.

"I'll clear my schedule. Do you want to stay with me and Kate? Or are you getting a hotel?"

"I'll get a hotel. I'd like to bring down my girlfriend, if you don't mind," I blushed. "She's also an addict and could talk to Kate. She's struggling like me but it's because of a different reason."

"I look forward to it, Edward. I've missed you. Even though you're supposed to be my client, I think of you as a friend."

"You too, Garrett," I smiled. "Are you still in the house near Pittock Mansion?"

"I am. Do you need directions?"

"If you could, that would be awesome. The last time I was at your place I was not in the best frame of mind, you know?" I said sheepishly.

"Give me your email address, Edward," Garrett said. I rattled it off and we made tentative plans to meet in two weeks. I hung up my phone. I went downstairs and sat down next to Bella, putting my now dry head in her lap. My workout kicked my ass. Bella's fingers twined in my hair as she watched television. Alice was curled up with Jasper, their hands laced together.

Alice and Jasper left after the program we had on was over. Alice and Bella hugged while I shook Jasper's hand. Once they were gone, Bella sat back down and pulled me so my head was back in her lap. "You look perplexed, Edward," she said.

"Not necessarily perplexed. Just desperate for a fix. With all of this craziness, my desires for drugs have grown exponentially," I frowned. "I called my counselor from the rehab clinic in Portland. His name is Garrett and I asked if I could see him."

"Oh," Bella murmured. "Are you leaving me?"

"No, Bella. I want you to come with. His wife, Kate, is also an addiction counselor. She works mainly with women who struggle with addiction. You may benefit from talking to her," I said, looking up at her.

"What about Dreamstyle?" Bella asked.

"Emmett and I talked about it while I was at the gym and he agreed to give us the time off the weekend after my midterms. We'd leave on Friday, drive down to Portland and spend time with Garrett and Kate. They have this unique house near Pittock Mansion. Okay, it's not really a house. It's a fucking mansion. It dwarfs this place."

"Portland, huh?" Bella asked.

"Yeah. It's a cool town. Smaller than Seattle but still pretty nice," I smiled. "You want to come with me?"

"I'd love to," she replied as she kissed my nose. I scrunched my face. She giggled and turned back to the television. I kept my head in her lap until we decided to go to sleep.

xx EC:AWIP xx

The next two weeks flew by. Between my schedule at Dreamstyle, midterms and the possibility of James popping out of nowhere, I barely got any sleep. I seriously survived on coffee and pop. I also got pretty sick but I couldn't miss any classes nor could I miss work.

Dreamstyle was featured in a local magazine as a hidden gem for tattoo enthusiasts. I was actually one of the featured artists, along with Rose. They wanted Bella but after some discussion, we decided to not have her be a part of the article since James was probably watching the news like a hawk. Since the article ran, the demand for Rose and me was astounding. Emmett was hesitant on letting me go to Portland but I gave him shit about backing down from his promise. He said he'd let us go and reluctantly he did. He had to bring in a guest artist to fill in for Bella and me. It was a close friend of Felix's. His name was Demetri and he worked out of Vancouver but was visiting Felix for the week.

Finally, it was Friday afternoon and I had finished taking my last midterm in abnormal psychology. I was fucking exhausted and wanted to get on the road. It was nearly four hours to Portland. I wanted to get checked into our hotel and settled in for the night. Oh and get a bacon donut from Voo Doo Donut. That shit is fucking awesome. The man who created the donut wrapped in bacon was pure genius.

I drove back to my house in Bellevue and parked in the driveway. Bella and I had packed the night before. Our suitcase was sitting in the foyer of the house. "Bella? You ready?"

"In a minute!" she called down.

"I'm going to put the suitcase into the trunk, okay?"

Bella responded with a grumble and I grabbed our bag. I tossed it into the back of my car and made sure I had some provisions. Ipod? Check. Mass amounts of caffeine in the form of Mountain Dew? Check. Cell phone? Check. Directions to the Paramount Hotel? Printed and in the glove compartment. Check. Girlfriend? Hmmmm…

"Bella? What is up?" I barked up the stairs. "Is everything okay?"

"No," she whined. I sighed and jogged up the stairs. She was sitting on the bed, wringing her hands nervously. I fell to my knees and took her face in my hands. Her eyes were brimming with tears. "What if they don't like me?"

"Bella, is that what you're worried about?" I murmured. She nodded and dropped her gaze to her lap. "Garrett is one of the greatest guys I've ever met. He's older but a kid at heart. He honestly replaced my dad when he turned into a douche."

"That's why I'm nervous," she said. "I've met your mom. She's great and yeah. But, Garrett, he's your 'father figure' and I don't want him to think that I'm some parasite."

"Isabella Marie Swan," I growled. "Stop it. You're not a parasite. Why would you think that? Remember, we're a team?"

"I know," she sighed. I gently captured her chin. She looked up and gazed into my eyes. "A team. I'm sorry about my insecure moment. I'm just very emotional. Even though I don't have a period, I still deal with PMS. It's weird. I'm aligned with Rose's cycle and when she's…"

"I don't need to know about her girlie problems," I grumbled, wrinkling my nose. "TMI."

"Sorry," Bella giggled. "At least you don't need to go out buy me tampons or some shit like that." My jaw dropped and Bella fell over in hysterics. She rolled off the bed and grabbed the collar of my coat. "Come on, Whip. We have a long drive."

"I'm scarred, Bella. Scarred," I said flatly. She laced her fingers with mine. I locked up the house and tossed her my car keys. I was tired and I knew if I drove, I'd crash the car. That would be bad. Really, really bad. Once we were on the highway, I promptly crashed in the front seat. I slept most of the way to Portland. Bella poked me once we got about ten miles away from the city. I needed to be her navigator. We found the Paramount and parked the car. Inside the hotel, we were checked into the suite I had reserved. I decided to splurge a bit. The Paramount was a nice hotel and I wanted to treat Bella to some pampering. A huge king-sized bed, the morning spent at the day spa and some loving from me was just what the 'doctor' ordered.

We rode up the elevator to the penthouse of the hotel. The bellhop happily chattered on about the history of the hotel. Bella was not really paying attention and my stomach was craving my donut. I gave the bellhop a tip and he left with a smirk.

"My ass is asleep," Bella groaned as she plopped down the bed. "And fuck me this bed is heaven. Can we get one like this at the house?"

"Possibly. The bed we've been sleeping on hasn't been changed out in at least ten years," I said as I sat down next to her. "Want to go for a walk, love?"

"That means I have to move," she pouted.

"You'll get donuts," I snickered.

"Let's go!" she laughed as she hopped up. She zipped her black leather jacket. I laced my fingers with hers before swiping the key from the dresser. We walked briskly to Voo Doo Donuts. There wasn't a line so we were able to get a dozen donuts relatively quickly. I was bouncing like a kid in a candy store. I grabbed the maple bacon donut and damn near inhaled it. "Jesus, Cullen. Hungry much?"

"Fish ish the bescht dufnot evah," I said.

"Excuse me, can you repeat that? I don't speak foodie," she snorted.

"This is the best donut ever," I repeated after I swallowed the goodness of the donut. "Want to try some?"

"Not really. Bacon and donuts is not my idea of two things that should go together," she said dryly, arching a brow.

"Just try a little, Bella. It's delicious. Almost as good as your pussy," I smirked. _Smack!_ "Ouch."

"Perv," she said as she took the donut from my hand. She eyed it skeptically before chomping down on the gooey goodness. Her brows raised as she took another bite.

"Hey, get your own," I said.

"Nope. This is mine," she giggled, cramming the rest of the donut into her mouth.

"I can't believe you ate my donut," I pouted. "Bella!"

"Didn't you get like three more in our dozen?" Bella countered.

"Shit, right," I said as I dug into the box, finding another donut. "Manna from heaven, I tell you." I finished my food and we took the box of donuts back to our hotel room. Bella blushed and went to change into her pajamas. I had another donut.

"You're going to get fat, Edward," Bella said from the bathroom.

"I haven't eaten all day, love," I called back. "These are the best donuts ever. I could live off them."

"But you'd be the size of one of the Himalayas," she giggled. She walked out of the bathroom and I nearly fell off the bed at my girl.

Fuck.

Me.

She was wearing a black baby doll nightie that left little to the imagination. I mean, honestly, what was the point of her putting it on since it was fucking sheer? _Right, the huge boner I have straining against my zipper of my jeans. _Yeah, Bella was my new drug of choice and it's so much healthier. "No…words…fuck, baby," I squeaked out.

"You like?" she asked as she sashayed over to me. "Alice and Rose took me shopping before my shift at Dreamstyle on Thursday. They wanted me to surprise you with a little something. I thought it was a bit much but gauging by your, um, predicament in your pants, it's not. Now, we've done some freaky things, Edward. But, I want to try something."

"What, love?" I asked.

She held a black silk tie. "I want to blindfold you," she purred. _Yeah, my dick twitched. _"You game?" I nodded and gave her a sexy smirk. "Good. Now take off all your clothes and lay down on the bed on your back, Mr. Cullen."

"Yes ma'am," I said as I quickly removed my clothing, depositing it into a heap on the ground. I crawled onto the bed and did as Bella instructed. Once I was in place, Bella tied the blindfold around my eyes. The next thing I knew, her lips were on mine. Her tongue probed my mouth as she ran her fingers over my body. Her mouth moved from my lips and moved down my torso. She nibbled on my collarbones while her hands glided over my abs, brushing dangerously to my cock. My hips bucked at the nearness of her hands.

"Eager, Edward?" she cooed.

"You could say that," I said.

"Hmmm, me too. But, I want your tongue first, lover," she purred. "I'm going to sit on your face and you're going to fuck my pussy with your tongue while I go down on you."

"Ungh," I groaned as I felt her kneel over me. I moved my hands up her thighs until I felt her wetness. I was still blindfolded and I needed my fingers to find her body. Her responding moan was loud once my tongue made contact with her swollen clit. She kissed down my body until she reached my cock. Her mouth wrapped around my arousal and holy mother fucking hell, I think I saw the second coming of Christ. _No you didn't. You're blindfolded, idiot. _

"Finger fuck me, Edward," Bella commanded as she licked the head of my cock. "Make me come all over your face."

"I need to see you, Bella," I begged.

"Nope. It adds to the moment, Edward," she chuckled. Then her mouth was back around my cock. I groaned as I found her entrance and began moving my fingers inside of my girl. My tongue flicked her clit as she moved above me. Bella's wet, hot mouth glided up and down my cock. Her hands toyed with my balls. I was in sensory overload. The smell of Bella's arousal all around me. Her fucking me with her mouth. The feeling of her wet pussy around my fingers and against my tongue. The sounds of her moans and my grunts. "Edward…faster. I'm so fucking close."

I moved my fingers faster in her body, curling them so she would scream in complete ecstasy. My pinky grazed her ass and she swiveled her hips. She lightly ran her fingers to my own ass, teasing my asshole. The last time she did that, I fucking came everywhere. Her teeth ran up and down my cock as she swirled her tongue around the head. Her muscles fluttered around my fingers. Her arousal seeped down to my chin and fuck, she tasted so delectable. _I could live off of her. So sweet. So fucking perfect._ _Better than the donut. _I bit down on her clit as I added a third finger to her tight pussy. That was the trigger to making her come. She released my cock and let out a guttural scream as she came. All. Over. My. Face. I lapped it all up as she moved uncontrollably above me. I felt her move from her perch above my head. Her hand pumped me a few times before her pussy was wrapped around my arousal.

"Fuck," I groaned. Her lips found mine and hungrily kissed me. My hands reached for her hips, guiding her over my cock. She tore the blindfold from my face. I blinked until my vision cleared up. Bella's face was flushed from her recent orgasm. Her cinnamon eyes were nearly black with desire. She rode me, moving along my erection slowly and taking me so deeply. I sat up and angled my pelvis to reach further inside of her body.

"Edward," she moaned as she tangled her hands into my hair. "Love me, please?"

"I always will, Bella," I replied, cupping her face. "We're a team. Forever. Nothing will separate us. I love you."

"I love you, so much, Whip," she moaned against my mouth. Our hips moved in tandem. Our position was fucking erotic and intimate. My arms were wrapped around her tiny waist as she rocked against my erection. Bella's hands were twined in my hair as our lips kissed, sucked, nibbled and licked. Her hips swiveled as she pulled away. "Come for me, Edward. Scream my name." Her face took on a feral quality. She looked like a fierce lioness. Her hair all wild and her lips swollen from my kisses. She leaned back and her body undulated. I looked down and watched as my cock slid in and out of her wet pussy. _Oh, my fuck!_ "You like that? Seeing me fuck you?"

"Fuck yeah, baby," I cooed as I reached down between us and played with her swollen bud. The tension in my belly was building steadily. I was close. Feeling her warmth and seeing her ride me was the impetus to get me to come. "God, you are so fucking perfect, Bella. I'm so…god damn!"

"Scream my name, Whip," she commanded. "Who makes you feel like this?"

"You, Bella," I breathed as my orgasm built in my belly. My hips began working with hers, pushing my cock further into her body. "I'm yours, Bella. As you are mine. Fuck…I'm…"

"Edward," she yelled as her body pulsated around mine. "FUCK!"

"Bella," I roared as I spilled inside of her. She fell forward, biting down on my shoulder. She moved languidly above me until our breathing evened out and I slipped out of her pussy.

"Damn," she giggled. "I drew blood."

I looked at my shoulder where she bit down. "Fuck, Bella. You're a god damned vampire. Do I need to get a rabies shot?" _Smack!_ "Guess not."

"Ass…"

"Really? We're back to this? We know that I'm an ass," I quipped.

"But you're my ass," Bella smiled. "I'm sorry I hurt you. However, you're marked as mine."

"Does that mean I get to mark you as mine, too?" I asked, waggling my brows.

"Yes, Whip. But not tonight. I'm tired," she giggled. "You wore me out. Not all of us had a four hour nap."

"Okay," I pouted. "I love you, Bane."

"Right back at you, Whip," Bella smirked as she crawled between the sheets, wrapping my arms around her tiny body. With a chaste but soft kiss, we curled up with each other, falling asleep quickly.

xx EC:AWIP xx

The next morning, we woke up to the sound of the phone in the suite. It was the wakeup call that I had requested for us. I had made an appointment for Bella and I to get a couple's massage. Then, I was going to get a haircut while Bella was going to get some further pampering which included a haircut, waxing and a pedicure. She said a numerous occasions that she hated manicures since she bit her nails. Why would she waste her money on something that was going to be chewed off in a matter of hours?

Bella groaned as I picked up the phone. I thanked the front desk and dragged Bella from our comfy nest of pillows, sex and down comforters. We showered together. No funny business, though. Bella was barely coherent as she leaned against me. I had to wash her body and hair in the marble shower. We barely made it to our appointment for our massages. Bella scowled at me as we rode down the elevator to the spa level. She mumbled something about spending money frivolously. _Does she know how many millions I have in the bank? How I want to spend it all on her? _

However, when we were done with our massages, Bella was singing a different tune. She wanted a personal masseuse to follow her around. I chuckled as they dragged her away, singing the praises of Gerta, her Swedish masseuse. I changed back into my street clothes and got my hair cut by a girl who reminded me of Alice, but more hyper. If that was possible. She talked a mile a minute and I couldn't understand a damn thing she said. I barely understood her when she introduced herself. I think her name was Persphone, Antigone or something like that. She did manage to cut my hair and make it look amazing. She gushed at how healthy my scalp was along with the beauty of my hair.

After my haircut, I waited for Bella in the lobby of the spa. I flipped through a magazine until she came out with her hair styled straight and her face in soft makeup. "Yeah, can I just share that waxing the girlie bits is not pleasant?" she scowled.

"Then why did you?" I asked.

"Hilda, Gerta's sister, said that she could make it not as painful. Me, being an idiot, believed her. It hurt like a son of a bitch. I still have that wax at home so you can enjoy the pleasures of having your nads waxed," Bella grumbled.

"No," I shuddered. "Not necessary. Ready to go visit Garrett and Kate?"

"Shouldn't we change?" she asked, plucking at her shirt.

"Garrett saw me at my worst. I was a scrawny fucker who refused to shower," I said, scrunching my nose. "This is a drastic improvement."

"I would feel more comfortable if we were dressed more appropriately. I have the inner-Alice barking in my mind," Bella said with a sardonic smirk on her perfect features. "I packed some nicer clothes, Edward. Come on. We have time."

I scowled and we headed up to the suite. Bella thrust a pair of jeans and a white button-down shirt into my hands. She pointed to the bathroom. I stomped into the bathroom and changed out of my clothes. I put on the outfit that Bella gave me. _Fuck me, I look like a god damned preppie. Can't I wear black? _When I exited the bathroom, she was in a pair of burgundy corduroys and a heavy sweater. She gave me a smile and nodded toward the door. "You look great, love."

"Thanks. I didn't want Garrett and Kate thinking…"she trailed off.

"They'll love you. Just be your usual charming self," I snickered.

"So a pain in the ass?" Bella snarked.

"Pretty much." _Smack!_ "Seriously, Bella. My chest is permanently scarred from your battering. Stop smacking me."

"I only smack you because you deserve it, Edward Anthony." She rolled her eyes and we went downstairs to get the car. I scowled at her. Using the directions that Garrett gave me, we drove to his insane house in the sky it seemed. Near the top of the peak, I pulled into driveway of Garrett and Kate's home. The house was two stories with an entire wall of windows. Surrounding the home was a large swath of trees. In the front yard, there was a Zen garden with a koi pond. Once my car was parked, Garrett opened the door. His blonde hair hung along his features, grazing his shoulders. God, he looked like a damn hippie.

"Edward!" Garrett smiled.

"Hippie boy," I teased. I ran over to him and we hugged. "Get a haircut."

"Eh, Kate loves to run her fingers through it," Garrett snickered.

I arched a brow. "Anyhow, this is my Bella. Garrett Burke, Bella Swan," I said as I introduced them.

"Nice to meet you," Bella said quietly.

"You as well, Bella," Garrett said with a gallant head bow. "Come on. It's colder than a witch's tit out here. Kate is making lasagna for dinner. I hope she hasn't puked on it though. That would suck."

"Puke?" Bella asked.

"Kate is pregnant and is in the morning sickness phase," Garrett said with an impish grin. We walked past him and into the foyer of their home.

"Morning sickness my ass. It's all day sickness if you ask me," Kate grumbled. Her brown hair was short and spiked up artfully. Her gray eyes were sparkling and she did have that pregnant woman glow. "I'm Kate Burke."

"Bella Swan," she said shaking Kate's hand. "When I was pregnant, I was sick all the way up until I delivered. It was awful."

"Fuck, I hope that doesn't happen to me. If it does, you're getting snipped, Gar," Kate griped. "You hear me?"

"Yes, dear," Garrett grumbled miserably.

"Do you need help in the kitchen, Kate?" Bella asked.

"I do. Garrett is hopeless. He can burn water. It's pitiful. I obviously didn't marry him for his cooking skills," Kate chortled. "Let's have some girl talk while the boys be…boys. Nice to see you, Edward. Thank you for showering this time."

"Jesus! ONE TIME!" I groaned. "I was fucked in the head and I wanted a line so bad. I can't help it if my brain registered my protests in lack of hygiene."

"Well, you smell much better now. Are you wearing cologne? And hair shit? Fuck, you look like a preppie, Edward. So conservative. And trust me when I say that my nose is quite attuned to nasty smells. One of the many joys of being pregnant. First there's the puking and then the sensitivity to smelly things," Kate said. "I can't wait until the second trimester when I hit my horny phase. Be prepared, Gar. Momma's going to get some lovin!" She guffawed and led Bella into the kitchen.

"Is it me or has Kate gotten louder?" I asked.

"Oh, she's gotten louder," Garrett grimaced. "Zero filter, Edward. None. If she thinks it, she says it. The only time she behaves is during sessions. So, when she gets home, I hear all of her mental, verbal vomit." We walked down to Garrett's basement and settled into the sectional. "Now, what's up, Edward? You seem happy but troubled."

"Where do I begin?" I sighed.

"The beginning is a good place," Garrett winked.

"Smart ass."

"That's why you love me, Cullen," Garrett snickered. "Seriously, though."

I blew out a breath and told my story to my friend, counselor and closest person to a father I could imagine. Garrett's look on his face was filled with sadness, frustration and anger. I also saw pride in his eyes as I told him about my abstaining and reaction to Bella's addiction. That pride carried over to when I explained my enrollment at UDub for psychology. I finished by explaining about James' obsession with making Bella pay for getting away. The fear that I had that I couldn't protect her from the sadistic fucker and my frustration about wanting to forget my problems with drugs.

"First off, Edward, I'm so proud of you for not succumbing to your desires in regards to drugs," Garrett smiled. "You've got a steaming pile of oozing, bloody shit."

"That's disgusting, Garrett," I blanched.

"But it's the damn truth, Edward. You have every single factor pointing against you and you haven't purchased drugs. That's awesome. Also, the fact that you had the temptation in your face when you found Bella and you abstained, that's even more awesome," Garrett said with a wide grin.

"If you say awesome one more time, I'm going to throttle you," I said, narrowing my eyes.

"But it is, Edward," Garrett said as he put his hand on my forearm. "Then you took the initiative to seek me out for further guidance. That's…"

"Awesome," I said dryly. "Dude, invest in a thesaurus."

"Fuck off, asshole," Garrett snickered. "Now, are you still smoking?"

"I am," I grimaced. "I want to stop but I'm afraid if I stop that I'll be thrust back into the realm of another addiction like alcohol or sex or something."

"Are you having sex?"

"Yes," I answered. "However, Bella and I are working with a couples therapist for our issues. Originally, we were fucking like bunnies and it was turning into a sex addiction. Once we recognized it, we went back to being romantic and shit."

"You? Romantic? Right and I'm a chick," Garrett bellowed.

"Hey, fucktard, we had a couples massage this morning and I've done more this girl than I've done for any woman I've been with," I reasoned. "The first time we made love, I bought candles and made it all about her. I'm not a complete douche."

"I never said you were, Edward. Candles? You broke out the big guns."

"Look, Garrett, I'm not someone who you would associate with hearts and flowers. But that woman helping Kate make lasagna is my fucking life," I said fervently. "I'd chop off my nut sack to ensure her happiness and safety. She's my world and I will do everything in my god damned power to make sure she gets it. And it's killing me that the ONE thing I can't fix, is still out there." My voice raised and tears fell down my cheeks. I sat back on the couch, burying my face in my hands, sobbing like a fucking pussy. Garrett put his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. I clutched at his patchouli reeking tunic-thing as I cried like a baby.

"Edward, it's okay, man," he soothed.

"No, it's not, Garrett," I whimpered. _Pussy. Remember when you had a backbone and didn't cry like a fucking pansy? _"He's going to find her and end her. I just know it."

"One of your biggest struggles with addiction is your control. When you're out of control, Edward, you turn to the drugs. This whole situation is the epitome of not being in control," Garrett said. "This James is out there and threatening your happiness. Threatening your Bella. You're trying to compensate by controlling everything else around you. Are you still quasi OCD when it comes to cleaning?"

"Yeah," I scowled. "Not like crazy but enough to drive Bella crazy. I color code our food. She thinks I'm weird."

"That's because you are weird, Edward. My biggest advice to you is to not let this situation with James consume you. Enjoy your relationship with Bella. She's a beautiful woman and appears to be very much in love with you. Why? I have no clue, but she does."

"How can I enjoy my relationship if I'm so terrified that it's going to come to an abrupt ending?" I murmured.

"Do you believe in fate, Edward?"

"Somewhat."

"We all have our lives and we merrily trudge through them until fate throws us some curveball. Right now, you're in the middle of that curveball. Hopefully, the throw will turn into a 'ball' and not a strike. Whatever the outcome, it's our reactions to the throws that make our lives what they are. Edward, once you realize that you can't control everything, you will be a happy man. You can only control your reactions, not the situations themselves. Make sense?" Garrett asked.

"It does but doesn't put my mind at ease," I frowned.

"That's because you're out of 'control,'" Garrett said, squeezing my shoulder.

"Garrett! Edward! DINNER!" Kate yelled.

"Definitely got louder," Garrett rumbled, pinching his nose. "Come on…I hope you like lasagna."

"It's not vegan lasagna?" I begged. "That vegan meal you fed me the last time I was here was nasty and foul."

"No. Kate got over her vegan phase. She's all about her protein and meat," Garrett said with a suggestive waggle of his brows.

"Gross! You are a pervy old man, Gar," I said as I smacked his chest. Garrett rolled his eyes and we walked up to their dining room. The table was set elegantly. There was enough food to feed a damn army, though. Two huge casseroles filled with two separate types of lasagna, plus salad, meatballs, and cheesy garlic bread. "Um, Kate, you realize that there's only four of us."

"Shut it, Cullen. I'm pregnant and hungry. I'll probably polish off one of these myself," she snickered. "Want anything to drink?"

"I'll have some water, thanks," I said as I slid in next to Bella.

"Me too," Bella replied, lacing her fingers with mine. Kate went off to get our drinks while Garrett followed her. Bella looked at me. "Are you okay, Edward? You look like you've been crying."

"Just a minor breakdown. I'm fine, now," I said as I kissed her sweetly. "Having a control freak moment."

Bella pursed her lips and arched her brow. "Do I need to threaten your peen, Cullen? We still have yet to pierce you," she smirked. "Talk to me."

"Later, Bella. I promise. And please, no piercing the cock. I thought you had forgotten," I groaned.

"Forgotten what?" Kate asked as she put our waters in front of us.

"A new embellishment for Edward," Bella smirked, kissing my cheek.

"No, please…no," I whimpered, banging my head on the table.

"Oh, pray tell, Ms. Swan," Kate gushed as she sat down next to my girl.

"A Prince Albert for Edward," Bella smiled. I moaned and banged my head on the table again. "Stop it, Edward. You'll dent the table."

"You should get it done, Edward," Garrett said, ruffling my hair. "Enhances the sexual experience."

"You've got to be joking," I said, staring at my friend.

"Nope. Am I joking, Kate?"

"Hell no. And it's ridged for her pleasure, too," Kate winked. "Why are you so apprehensive, Edward?" She began serving the lasagna, giving each of us a massively huge piece. Bella's eyes bugged out when she saw the size of her serving. She poked my side. _Yeah, I'd be eating for two tonight. Got it, sexy. _

"Um, it's a piece of metal. IN MY COCK," I spat out. "Not very high on my list of things I want to experience. Nope…no thank you."

"Edward, you lost a bet. You're getting it done," Bella said as she tucked into her lasagna. "We've just been subsequently distracted by the recent turn of events. I'll text Rose on our way home and we can get this shit done once we get back to Seattle."

I paled and pushed my plate away. Tattoos…no big deal. Piercings in my genitals, scares the ever-living shit out of me. "Breathe, Edward," Kate said as she rubbed my shoulder. "Bells, I don't think piercing his wang is a wise decision. He's the same color as his shirt."

"Hmmm," Bella said noncommittally. "We'll see."

"Okay, now he's turning green. If he pukes, I puke. Bella, just leave the poor man alone," Kate laughed.

"Ugh, fine…" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Kate, I love you," I said reverently. "My peen is eternally grateful."

"You're such a pussy, Edward," Kate bellowed. "Eat your lasagna. It's got meat in it."

"Yay! No tofu shit," I smiled. Bella nudged my side, rolling her eyes dramatically. "What? That shit is nasty. Tastes like total ass." Kate threw a piece of cheesy garlic bread at me. I deftly caught it with my mouth.

The rest of our meal, thankfully, was spent talking about Bella and my relationship. Kate was surreptitiously trying to shrink our heads and was doing an excellent job. In the meal, Kate had gotten Bella and I to open up to each other in ways we hadn't done with Dr. Meyer. After dinner, we went into the very modern living room to have coffee and continue our conversation. Bella curled up next to me, lacing her fingers with mine. We stayed until nearly midnight. Kate was drooling on Garrett's leg and Bella was nodding off against my shoulder. We made tentative plans to go to the Japanese gardens the following morning. Garrett wanted to show me some meditation techniques and the Zen gardens at the Japanese gardens were perfect to do so. The look I gave Garrett was borderline humorous. He just smacked my arm.

With hugs and kisses, we left Garrett and Kate's mansion in the sky and drove back to our hotel. Bella was quiet, contemplative as she sat in the passenger seat. Her fingers were laced with mine and she fussed with her hair. "Talk to me, Bella," I whispered.

"Just thinking. I really like Kate. She's amazing," she said wistfully. "Did you know that she also had a baby prior to the one she's having now? It was conceived from a rape when she was fifteen."

"I didn't. I'm assuming she gave the baby up for adoption," I assumed.

"Yeah. A baby girl," Bella said quietly. "She understands what I went through and it was so nice to have someone to talk to about it. I mean, Dr. Greene is great and you're pretty phenomenal too, but you haven't had a baby, Edward."

"I'd be a bigger freak if I was pregnant," I snickered.

"Besides, I like your six-pack," Bella snorted. She rubbed her hand over my belly. "Once you put on some weight and filled out with your muscles, you pretty much have a perfect body, Edward."

"Um, okay," I grunted. "Random."

"Sorry," Bella blushed. "You are such a beautiful man, Whip. Yes, when we met, I thought you were a slut and fucktard."

"Thanks for the raving reviews, Bella," I said dryly. She pinched my nipple. "OW!"

"But since then, you've grown on me. Like a fungus," she said as she rubbed my chest, soothing the shooting pain in my nipple. "I love you, Whipping Boy."

"I love you, too, Bane," I said as I kissed her quickly while we were at a stoplight. "Did you and Kate exchange phone numbers?"

"We did. I can see Kate as becoming a close friend and confidante," Bella smiled.

"Good. Anyhow, we probably should go to sleep. Garrett wants at the Japanese Gardens at the butt ass crack of dawn," I grumbled. I pulled up to the valet and he parked our car at the Paramount. Bella glowered as I helped her out of the Volvo. Lacing our fingers together, we rode up the elevator. But, we didn't go to sleep. Once the door was shut, Bella pounced and we made love on the couch, twice in the bed, once in the shower and again on the counter in the bathroom. _My thighs are going to be so fucking sore tomorrow. _

xx EC:AWIP xx

The next morning was bright and cheery. And cold. Bella was shivering something awful when we got to the Japanese Gardens. Her leather jacket wasn't heavy enough for the chill in the air. Thankfully, Garrett brought one of his massive coats. Bella put it on over her leather jacket and gray sweater. She was still shivering and was trying, fruitlessly to get inside of my body. I was just as cold as her but at least my teeth weren't chattering.

We went separately while Kate and Bella wandered around the gardens. Garrett led me to the Zen garden. He tossed down a blanket and explained some basic meditation techniques. We sat, facing each other, focusing on breathing, the sounds around us and centering our souls or some shit like that. Garrett gave me grief that I wasn't taking this seriously. I muttered my apology and tried again. I don't know how long we sat in the Zen garden, freezing our asses off, but once Garrett cleared his throat, I did feel more relaxed. Almost at peace.

I heaved my sore and tired body off the blanket. We walked to the gift shop where the girls were staying since it was freezing. Kate didn't want to get sick and Bella was just tiny. The cold got to her more so than anything else. She said that the only thing she missed from Phoenix was the heat. But that was it. Anyhow, in the gift shop, Garrett handed me a book about meditation. I begrudgingly purchased it. I definitely felt relaxed. Unfortunately, we needed to head back to Seattle. Walking out to our cars, we said our goodbyes. Garrett said that they would try to come up to Seattle for Christmas. Neither one of them had family and so, we adopted them into our own.

The drive back to Seattle was quiet. I was still in my Zen state. Bella was just tired. She dozed off as soon as I got onto the highway. We stopped halfway to get some lunch but managed to get back to Seattle in good time. We pulled up to the house and went inside. We were working side by side to make dinner and do the laundry. As we were working my cell phone rang from my pocket.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Mr. Cullen? It's Peter, your landlord," he said nervously. "Um, there's no easy to say this, but our apartment complex has been burned to the ground and it started in your apartment…"

There goes my sense of peace.

**A/N: A long awaited update, folks. Sorry it took so long. I need to be in a certain 'mood' to write Whip. *Pissed off, mainly* Since I'm getting divorced today, it seems like my mood matches my story. Anyhow, James is on the rampage and everything is going to come to a head in the next few chapters. Anyhow, pictures are on my blog. Leave me some lovin! **


	25. Chapter 25

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a dog that uses my apartment as her personal toilet, snotty middle schoolers, and bad attitude.**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Danger in our Midst**

_The drive back to Seattle was quiet. I was still in my Zen state. Bella was just tired. She dozed off as soon as I got onto the highway. We stopped halfway to get some lunch but managed to get back to Seattle in good time. We pulled up to the house and went inside. We were working side by side to make dinner and do the laundry. As we were working my cell phone rang from my pocket. _

"_Hello?" I asked._

"_Mr. Cullen? It's Peter, your landlord," he said nervously. "Um, there's no easy to say this, but our apartment complex has been burned to the ground and it started in your apartment…"_

_There goes my sense of peace._

"Nothing was salvaged?" I asked. Not that I cared about the damn apartment. In there, I just had second-hand furniture. Everything of value was with me at the house in Bellevue.

"No, I'm sorry."

"Did the cops say anything about it being deliberate or accidental?" I asked, leaning against the counter in the kitchen.

"There was an accelerant used. It was intentional. Arson," Peter replied. "I was calling to ask if you wanted to file a claim with your renters insurance?"

"No, but I'd like to speak with the investigating police officers," I grumbled, rubbing my face with my hand.

"They should be on their way to you, now," Peter responded. "Whoever started this wanted to send you a message."

"Damn right, Peter. Thanks," I sighed heavily. I hung up the phone, turning to Bella who was sautéing vegetables for a stir fry. "My apartment burnt down."

"What?" she shrieked.

"The cops think it was arson," I growled.

"James. He's getting closer," Bella whimpered. Her knees buckled. I ran to her and scooped her up, placing her on the island of the kitchen. Turning off the veggies, I hugged her to my chest. Bella's sobs filled our home. I held her as she broke down. James needed to go the fuck away. _Asstard_. "Why can't he just go away?"

"I know, love," I soothed. Bella's hands clutched at my shirt as she sobbed against my shoulder. "I wish I could take you away and never come back."

"Someplace tropical sounds nice," she mumbled, playing with my hair. "Edward, I'm scared. He's gone after me. Now he's after you. You're not safe."

"Bella, I'm stronger than I look," I said, pulling away, looking into her cinnamon eyes. Bella pursed her lips. "I'd do anything for you, love. Even die for you…"

"No, you won't," she spat. "I've finally found the one person that I want to be with and you're not going away." She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head petulantly. "If you die, I die. Simple as that." She wrapped her arms and legs around me, pulling me to her warm body. "I can't lose you, Whip."

"I can't lose you, either, Bella," I murmured into her skin, gently kissing her 'E' tattoo. We were pulled from our little bubble by a loud buzz from the telephone. We jumped apart. Sullenly walking to the phone, I picked it up. The police were here and the front gate was informing me that they were here. I allowed them entry into the subdivision and waited in the foyer. Bella stood with me, gripping my hand tightly. The police officers arrived and asked us both a few questions. I was surprised that the investigating officer didn't have any knowledge of the restraining order on James and Victoria.

That raised huge red flags for me. After some searching, 'Barney Fife' managed to find the paperwork on the restraining order on the computer. As he read the information, his fat face paled at the description of Bella's attack along with his menacing that he had done with the help of Riley.

"Mr. Cullen, we'll increase patrols in your neighborhood. Erm, rather around your neighborhood. In addition to that, we'll add more police presence around your place of work," 'Barney' sputtered.

"What about while you're at school, Edward?" Bella asked, gripping my arm.

"Are you a student?" Barney asked.

"I'm enrolled at University of Washington," I answered. "Working on getting my degree in psychology." Barney nodded and added that information to his notes.

"Now, apparently this James character is out for blood," Barney said nervously, shifting uncomfortably on my couch. "You need to keep your eyes peeled and if you see him, call 911 immediately. Inform your friends and family to do the same. Is there anyone else that is working with him?"

"Riley Biers and Victoria," I answered. "But, her last name is slipping my mind right now. She's got red hair and was a doctoral student at UDub. Or least pretended to be."

"Ah yes, we have a picture of her. Her name is not Victoria," Barney said. "It's Virginia and she's James' sister. Same mother but different fathers. Virginia Thomas or Ginny likes to change her name. Victoria is one of her twenty known aliases. She's wanted by the FBI for identity theft and grand larceny. She's a genius and quite slippery when it comes to being caught. Evasive, that one."

Barney described the increased patrols and plans if we saw either James or Ginny. He also said that neither one of us should be alone. Always be with someone. It's imperative that we don't walk around unattended. After that, Barney described the damage to the apartment and showed me pictures. It started in the bedroom, on my bed. It was charred and looked like hell. Bella cried quietly. After nearly three hours of speaking with Barney, he left. He gave both Bella and me his card. We were to call him, personally, if there was an appearance of James or Ginny. Ironically enough, his name was Barney. Barney O'Hara.

_But he did act like Barney Fife. _

xx EC:AWIP xx

The next few weeks passed without any further incident. Bella and I were ghosts though. I went to school and went to work. Bella went to work and therapy. We were never alone. It was a bit stifling. At school, Jasper followed me around, walking me from class to class. At work, I was never allowed to close by myself. Bella was always with either me or Emmett. When she had therapy, I usually drove her and waited for her to finish. On the rare occasions that I couldn't, Emmett stepped in.

I was working at Dreamstyle when Alice skipped into the shop. Bella was working on a tattoo. I was ordering some supplies that we needed like paper towels, toilet paper and latex gloves. "Hi, kids," she chirped. She sat down on the counter next to the computer I was working at. "Christmas is coming soon. We need to plan the big party."

"Alice, we never have a party," Bella said. "You usually go to Texas with Jasper while I stayed here with Emmett. We got sloppy drunk and had sex."

"New traditions, Swan," Alice growled. "Besides, if you get drunk and had sex with Emmett, Edward would probably kick your ass along with Emmett's."

"You got that right," I grumbled.

"Maybe he can join in the fun," Bella giggled.

"No," I snarled. "McCarty's cock is not coming anywhere near you, Bane. I know he had before but you're mine. You hear me?"

"Yes, Possessiveward," Bella said, rolling her eyes.

"Can I join?" the client she was tattoo asked. He was a large, hairy fucker with a minor gas problem.

"No, jerkwad. You see that guy by the computer? He's my bitch. And he's got a black belt in tae kwon do. He can kick your ass," Bella said, turning into the woman that I remembered from when I first started. "Edward, do you want to practice your kung fu on this guy?"

"Probably. I'm pretty rusty," I said, narrowing my eyes at the douche sitting in Bella's chair. "Do you value your balls?"

"Yeah," he gulped. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"You better be sorry or I'll turn this devil into a fairy with a pink tutu," she said. He nodded and shut up for the rest of his time on the chair.

"Back to the party," Alice chimed. "Why don't we have it at your place, Edward? There's enough room for everyone and your living room would be perfect for a massive tree."

"Alice, Christmas is a week away. Where am I going to get a tree?" I asked.

"The last time I was over, I went snooping," Alice said, biting her lip. "In your basement there's an entire corner devoted to Christmas décor. You've got a tree. We just need to put it up."

"We can do it on Christmas Eve," Rose suggested as she looked up from her sketch. "When I was a kid, that's how we celebrated Christmas Eve. Putting up the decorations. Christmas Day was spent opening presents and eating a shit-ton of food."

"Please, Whip?" Alice begged.

"Fine," I acquiesced. "I am inviting my friends from Portland, Garrett and Kate Burke."

"The more the merrier," Alice chimed. "We have two weeks. Edward, you get all A's on your exams. Bella, you are responsible for the cooking. Rose and I will handle the shopping."

"Alice, you are not shopping for everyone for Christmas," Bella said, arching a brow.

"Yes, I am. I'll keep it reasonable. You two are too busy to go shopping and honestly, I have the time. Rose, you have any clients today?"

"Nope. Let's go get some presents," Rose smirked. "Later!"

They pulled on their coats and headed out of the shop. Bella and I sat in silence while she finished up tattooing the horny fucker in her chair. I had a few walk-ins but nothing too taxing. After closing up the shop, Bella and I went back to our house. She was quiet. On her face, she had a frown. "Talk to me, Bella."

"Christmas is very tough for me," she murmured. "Emmett and I would always get fucked up and go at it like bunnies on Christmas. It would help me forget…my son."

"We can go at it like bunnies, instead," I said with a suggestive waggle of my brows. "I bet I'm better than McCarty."

"You are. But, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that you love me," she said wistfully. "Emmett and I were just fuck buddies. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"There's more, though," I said as I parked the car. We headed inside. She put her bag on the floor near the counter of the kitchen and leaned heavily against it. "Really, talk to me."

"Where do you see us in ten years?" she asked.

_Married to you with our children in this house…?_

"Honestly?" I replied. She shot me a look that said, 'no shit, Sherlock.' "Okay, okay. I see myself with you. Forever. In ten years, I imagine this house decorated to the gills with holiday finery. The sounds of screaming children filling the hallways and rooms of this house. I see you with my ring on your finger, baring my last name. Bella Cullen has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"You want to marry me?" she asked, tears filling her eyes.

"I've told you this before, Bella. I do want to marry you. I want it all with you. Do you want to marry me?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer. _What if she doesn't? I'm screwed. _

"You've seen me at my worst, Edward. You've given me everything that I could have ever dreamed of. I can't imagine my life without you," she whispered.

"Don't move," I said as I kissed her lips. She furrowed her brow as I left the kitchen, darting into the office. I removed the painting and unlocked the safe behind it. Finding the engagement ring that my mom showed me, I lightly ran my fingers over the diamonds. _Do it. _I put the box back in the safe, covering it with the picture. I walked back. Bella had moved from the kitchen to the family room. "You moved," I teased.

"I was tired and wanted to sit," she challenged.

"Well it makes what I have to do a little easier," I quipped, falling to one knee next to her. I picked up her hand, running my finger over her knuckles. Bella squeaked. "I know that our relationship has been…unconventional…but, I can't imagine my life without you. You've made me a stronger man and I love you, so much, Bella. You challenge me on a daily basis. You drive me crazy, in a good way. But sometimes, you make me want to stick my head in the oven. I wouldn't change any of it. I would do anything to ensure your safety, your happiness and your love, Bella. Marry me?"

I opened the small box with the engagement ring. She gasped as tears fell down her face. Her hand shakily went to touch the ring. "If this isn't what you want, then I'll re-do it, Bella. If you want hearts and flowers…"

"It's perfect, Edward," she sobbed.

"Then give me an answer. Yes. No. Go fuck yourself," I wailed. "Don't leave me hanging here."

"Go fuck yourself sounds good," she giggled. "But, it was a perfect proposal, Edward. Yes. Yes! I'll marry you!"

I fell onto my ass and blew out a breath. I collapsed onto the floor. Bella laughed and crawled onto my lap, kissing my face. She took the ring box from hand and removed the ring. "Hold on," I said as I sat up. "I want to do that." I kissed her hand. Looking into her eyes, I slid the ring on her left ring finger. "A perfect fit."

"How long have you had this?" she asked as she looked at her ring.

"It was my grandmother's. If you don't like it, I can get you something different," I said as I looked at the ring on her hand. It was made for her.

"No. It's perfect," she smiled. "Your grandmother's? Shouldn't this belong to Esme?"

"All of the family jewels were left to me, including this ring," I said. "Esme was the one to show it to me and she encourages it. She loves you, you know…"

"Let's call her," Bella said.

"Can't I make love to my fiancée first?" I pouted.

"No. We call your mother and then we make love," she said as she reached into my pocket, pulling out my cell phone. She found Esme's phone number. Putting it on speaker phone, we sat on the floor waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?" Esme sang.

"Hi, Mom," I smirked.

"Oh my god. He lives!" Esme snickered. "Why didn't you call me over Thanksgiving?"

"Too busy working. Sorry, Mom," I said, frowning. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I missed you on Thanksgiving," she chastised. "Perhaps, we can make it up on Christmas."

"That sounds perfect, Mom. All of our friends are getting together on Christmas Eve to put up the tree and celebrating here in Bellevue. We'd love it if you could come."

"That sounds lovely," she crooned. "But, I can hear the excitement in your voice. The only other time I'd heard you like this was when you got accepted to Juilliard. Spill it, Edward."

"Well, in a surprising turn of events, Bella and I were talking," I smiled, kissing her lips. "The discussion of our futures came up and well…"

"He proposed," Bella squealed. _Yes. Squealed. _

"And what did you say, Bella?" Esme squealed back.

"Yes. I said yes," Bella breathed.

Esme let out a resounding yell, congratulating both of us. Once the yelling and screaming calmed down, Esme came back on the phone. "Bella, please let me help you plan your wedding. Please?"

"Nothing big, Esme," Bella murmured. "Just our friends and you. Perhaps in the backyard of our home?"

"I can work with that," Esme cooed. "I'll bring up some ideas when I come for Christmas, okay?"

"Thank you, Esme," Bella sniffled. She wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed quietly.

"We're going to go, Mom. I love you," I said as I held her.

"I love you, too, Edward. Congratulations," she said excitedly. I hung up the phone, placing it on the cocktail table. Bella was still crying on my shoulder. I rubbed her back until my ass reminded me that we were still on the floor. I was cold and my ass hurt.

"Bella, love, talk to me," I crooned.

"I'm fine," she said as she wiped her eyes. "Your mom is so sweet. So unlike my 'incubator.'"

"Your mom?" I asked, arching a brow. She nodded. "Well, my mom is your mom. But that would make us siblings and incest is NOT best. But she will be your mother-in-law once you become my wife."

She giggled and smiled at me. "You always know how to make me feel better, Whip."

"I try, Mrs. Cullen," I purred. "Can I make love to my fiancée now?"

"Um, duh!" she said as she kissed me fiercely.

Sleep didn't come that night. We spent all of it making love and celebrating our engagement. When we left for work and school, we were both exhausted but so happy. I couldn't wait to make her my wife.

xx EC:AWIP xx

The next two weeks moved quickly by. I took my finals and got my grades. Surprisingly, I maintained my 4.0 GPA. I was fearful that abnormal psychology would kick my ass, but I did well on the final to pull up my grade.

Despite our excitement about being engaged, Bella and I decided to wait until Christmas Eve to announce it to our friends. Bella wanted to replace the sad moments of Christmas with something happy. She insisted on it. The morning of Christmas Eve dawned snowy. Bella and I were cleaning up the guest bedrooms for everyone who was staying. We were going to have a full house. The only couple not staying was Rose and Emmett since they had decided to visit Rose's parents for Christmas day. They were taking a red eye to New York.

I drew the short straw and was driving them to Sea-Tac at midnight. I'd rather be spending it with my fiancée, but oh well.

"Edward, Alice gave me clothes for you to wear," Bella called. "It's nice but still okay to wear while we're setting up the tree. It's on our bed, Whip."

"Did she dress you too?" I asked. Bella growled and stepped into the room I was working on for my mom. She wore a sexy red top with a tight jeans. On her left hand was my ring. It was the first time she was going to wear it in front of our friends. I couldn't be more thrilled. "Damn. You look hot, Swan. You want to know the hottest accessory?"

"My boots?" she asked, holding up her black heeled boots.

"Sexy but those aren't the hottest accessory," I said as I strode over to her. I picked up her left hand, kissing her ring. "This is."

"It is," she smiled softly. "Who do you think is going to freak out first?"

"My guess is probably Emmett," I answered.

"Not Alice?"

"Nah. She'll freak out but Emmett is going to shit his pants when he sees my ring on your finger," I said as I nipped at her throat. "Alice will just make noises that only dogs can hear." Bella giggled and laced her fingers with mine, nestling into my arms. "Can't we just tell them that we want to celebrate Christmas Eve at home, by ourselves? Naked?"

"Tempting," she cooed. "But, Kate just texted. They were like a half-hour away. Our guests are on the way, Whip. Get dressed. I'll get the food ready." I reluctantly let her go. She blew me a kiss and scampered out of the bedroom. Dragging my feet, I went to our bedroom. On the bed was a pair of jeans and a light gray shirt. I changed into my clothes and padded down to the kitchen. Bella was arranging cheese, pepperoni and crackers on a platter. I swiped a few pieces before she slapped my hands away. "For our guests, pig."

"I'm a growing boy," I mumbled with my mouth full. Bella rolled her eyes. I smiled at her sweetly. "Love you, Mrs. Cullen." She melted. Who would have thought that tough as nails Bella Swan would melt at the sound of me calling her by my last name? Total shocker.

The phone rang informing us that Garrett and Kate were here. I let them into subdivision. Garrett and Kate were the first to arrive, followed by my mom. I chuckled at Kate's outfit. She wore a red sweater and green shoes. But in her ears were a pair of wreath earrings. "Looking very maternal, there, Kate," I chuckled. She twisted my nipple.

"I'm festive, asshole," she snipped. "Where is your Christmas spirit?"

"My Yule log," I said as I swiveled my hips.

"Gross, Cullen!" she screeched. Esme and Bella looked up with matching expressions of confusion. "Your son is foul, Esme. Pervert!"

"I'm not a pervert! That's your husband," I said. "At least you showered today, Garrett. And combed your ponytail."

"Fuck off, douche," he chuckled, swatting at my head.

"Make yourselves useful," Bella said. "Start bringing up the crap from the basement. We need to test the lights and stuff." She arched a brow, begging to be challenged. I smiled as I grabbed Garrett's sweater. I led him downstairs and we began lugging up the shit-ton of Christmas decorations. When we came up, Jasper and Alice had arrived. I dragged Jasper down with me and Garrett. After six trips up and down those damn stairs, all of the decorations were on the main level.

Emmett, who had arrived as we were coming up the last time from the basement, was put in charge of assembling the tree. The girls were putting the holiday decorations around the house. Jasper, Garrett and I were in charge of checking the lights. After the seventh strand that was dead, I was ready to chuck it all out the window. "Come on, Edward. Let's go get some new lights," Jasper suggested. "You ladies need anything?"

"No," they all answered, Emmett included.

"Can you get me some antacid, Gar?" Kate asked. "I ate too much of Bella's buffalo chicken dip."

"Yes, love," Garrett chuckled. We piled on our coats. The snow had picked up and made it difficult to drive. The trip to the store was slow going but we got our lights. We were heading back. I was driving so slowly because of the weather. However, much to my chagrin, the flashing lights of a police cruiser appeared in my rear-view mirror. Jasper growled while Garrett sent Kate a text saying that I was not obeying the traffic laws.

I pulled over and took out my driver's license and registration to the car. Rolling down my window, I looked up at the officer. He was wearing Barney O'Hara's jacket but it wasn't Barney. Staring back at me was the sneering visage of James. His hands held Barney's service revolver. "This was honestly too easy…" he smirked.

The next thing I knew, I heard a loud bang and a searing pain in my chest. I heard three more loud bangs before I felt coldness wrap around me. "Edward! Fuck! Stay with me!" Garrett yelled. I think…blackness consumed me as Garrett continued yelling.

**A/N: Chant it with me…HEA! HEA! HEA! Yes, Edward did get shot. He will be fine, though. So, please don't throw things at me. Also, I'm planning on updating this story over the weekend so you can know what happens. It will be in Bella's POV. Edward will be unconscious and in surgery. Leave me some love…more love means faster recovery for Edward. Oh, also, what do you think happened to James? And Barney? Leave your thoughts…**


	26. Chapter 26

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: no time to do enough writing, an apartment that needs a thorough cleaning, and bruised knuckle from punching a wall (don't do that…it's not pleasant).**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Absolution**

**BPOV**

Edward left with Garrett and Jasper to get more Christmas lights. Out of the twenty strands of twinkling lights, only five worked. With the massive tree we were putting up, five strands would have looked pitiful. I was working in the living room with Rose in putting up some other decorations. Emmett was placing the working strands of lights on the tree next to the fireplace. Alice was talking with Esme in the kitchen with Kate. "Spill it, Swan," Rose snickered.

"Spill what?" I said with a cheeky grin.

"What the hell is on your finger? It's sparkly and shit," Rose asked.

"Oh, this?" I replied, wiggling my left hand. "Just some new bling. Whip decided to get down on bended knee. He proposed two weeks ago." _God, I sounded so blasé. The man loves me enough to propose and I sound like I'm ordering a Big Mac. What the hell is wrong with you, Swan?_

Emmett whipped his head around and fell off the ladder he was on by the ten foot tall tree. He clambered back to a standing position and wiped off his jeans. "What?! You've been engaged for two weeks? What the hell? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Probably because you'd act like a child, Emmett," Rose giggled. "You've been so protective of Bella and Edward is not her 'ideal' man in your eyes."

"He should have asked my permission," Emmett grumbled petulantly.

"That would have been weird, Em," I said. "We've fucked. It's not every day that I get proposed to. Plus, if he needs to ask your permission that would be too bizarre for words."

"Have you chosen a date?" Emmett asked, frowning.

"Not yet. It's still very new," I said as I wistfully stared at my engagement ring. "I'm going to be Edward's wife."

"About damn time," Alice smiled from her spot by the door. "He's been waiting forever, it seems. Can I design your dress?"

"As long as I don't look like a damn bell, you can, Midget," I said as I hugged her. "Something sexy and not really white."

"Ivory satin," Alice said as she kissed my cheeks. "Slinky. It'll be so hot, Edward won't know what hit him."

We continued putting the Christmas decorations. The snow had picked up and it was getting really nasty out. As we were working, the house phone rang. I jogged to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Ms. Swan? This is Steve from the front gate. There's a Barney O'Hara needing to see you," Steve explained. "He's on foot and looks very cold."

"Send him up, Steve," I said. Barney was the detective who was assigned to Edward's arson case at his apartment. Fifteen minutes later, Barney banged on the door. He was blue. "Come in, Barney. Where's your coat?"

"Am-ambushed," he shivered. "Edward is in d-danger. J-James cl-clubbed m-me over m-my h-head and t-tossed m-me out of m-my squ-squad car. I've alerted the st-state tr-troopers but, I h-have a b-bad f-feeling…I c-came as s-soon as I g-got off the ph-phone with m-my ch-chief."

I blanched. Esme wrapped a blanket around Barney while Alice gave him a cup of hot tea. Rose wrapped her arms around my shoulders while I fell apart. Edward was in danger.

"Mr. O'Hara, do you suspect that this James is going to find my son?" Esme asked.

"He's wearing my coat, carrying my service revolver and driving my squad car. He can assume the identity of a police officer and Edward will pull over. Mr. Cullen's file was sitting on my front seat of my cruiser," Barney frowned. "I had gotten a lead on James' whereabouts. Apparently, I was too close and I got clubbed over the head."

"Emmett, try calling Edward," Rose said. Emmett picked up his cell phone and dialed Edward's number. It went straight to voicemail. "Try Jas."

"Same thing," Emmett frowned. "Kate, call Garrett, please?"

"If this lunatic tries to kill my husband, his balls are mine," Kate spat. She dialed Garrett. It rang but he didn't pick up. "Fuck."

No sooner did Kate put her phone down, did my cell phone go off. It was Jasper. "Jas?"

"Bella! It's bad. Really, really bad. We need you to get to Virginia Mason. Ed-Edward's been shot," he sobbed. "James got him in the chest. Garrett is in the ambulance with him while I'm making a statement…"

"James?" I whispered.

"I shot at him with my gun. I don't know why I had it in my jacket but thankfully I did. I clipped him. But he got away, Bells. Hurry, please!"

My phone fell from my hand. I wobbled on my feet. Emmett caught me before I collapsed. Alice listened to Jasper while everyone got their coats on. I felt like I was underwater. I could hear the yelling but it didn't make sense. The edge of my vision was black. My heart was stammering against my ribs. I felt so empty. _Edward's hurt…he could die._

Cold…

Pain…

Coffin…

Edward in the coffin…never to wake up…

"Bella, we have to go," Esme urged. She put my coat around my shoulders, guiding me out of the house. We all piled into our cars and drove in the snow to Virginia Mason Medical Center. Esme sat in the backseat of Emmett's jeep, holding my hand. I was terrified. I was scared. I was…numb.

_Edward, please. Stay with me. Don't take away my only happiness that I've had. Please. Don't die. _

Emmett dropped off Rose, Esme and me at the entrance of the emergency room. We all scuttled into the sterile, brightly lit waiting area. Rose went up to the front desk and asked if Edward had been brought in. The nurse gave her some snotty answer. Esme, who had been quietly crying next to me, sprang into action. Her normal friendly face morphed into a cruel sneer. "Listen, missy," she snapped. "My son is fighting for his life and you are being a bitch. Is Edward Cullen one of your patients? Choose your words wisely or I will be contacting your superior."

The girl paled behind the desk. She typed in the information. "He was just brought in, Mrs. Cullen," she whimpered.

"Es?" called a blond haired doctor. I recognized him as the douche from when I was brought in. He and Edward looked so much alike. Same strong jawline, aquiline nose, broad shoulders…The only difference was their coloring. Edward was pale with bronze hair and green eyes. His dad had blonde hair, blue eyes and a more pink complexion. It appeared he was crying.

"Carlisle?" Esme murmured. The doctor's face fell and he started sobbing. Esme ran to him, pulling him into her arms.

"I was the attending physician when they brought him in," Carlisle said brokenly. "I had to be physically removed from the room. So much blood, Es."

"What happened, Carlisle?" Esme asked as she looked up at him. Carlisle gave Rose and me a furtive glance. "They are with me. Rose is a close friend and Bella is Edward's fiancée." Carlisle nodded and led us to a conference room. "Is he going to make it?"

"He's got the best trauma surgeons working on him. The bullet shattered his ribcage on the left side. His lung collapsed and the bullet is lodged near his spine. When I was dragged away, they were reinflating his lung and prepping him for surgery. It'll be awhile before we know anything," Carlisle said brokenly. "Only time will tell."

"If you had to give odds?" I whispered. I stared blankly at him, preparing for the worst.

"It's about fifty-fifty. He was lucky that he had a doctor with him," Carlisle explained. "Dr. Burke, while a psychiatrist, did an amazing job in stemming the bleeding. Plus, his proximity to the hospital helped as well. Ten minutes after he was shot, he was in the trauma room. But there's a lot of damage. It will be a long road to recovery. Plus where the bullet lodged, that's causing the surgeons some concern. It could press against his spine and cause paralysis." He leaned forward and removed the glasses that he wore. His blue eyes were strained. "I'm such a fucking moron…"

"You are," Esme said coldly. "You let your own judgment and close-mindedness ruin your relationship with your only son. Now he's fighting for his life and you won't have a chance to apologize. But this isn't about _you. _It's about Edward. Have they taken him to surgery?"

"I believe so. Let me call up to the surgery floor," he said dejectedly. He heaved his body up and dialed a few numbers on the phone. He spoke quietly to the other caller. He sighed and nodded. "Thank you." Hanging up the phone, Carlisle turned to us. "Edward's in surgery. I'll take you up there."

We followed Carlisle to the elevators, picking up some of our friends along the way. Rose held my hand as I stiffly followed Edward's father. I was still in shock. Numb. Disbelief. The man who had proposed to me two weeks ago was lying on a surgical table with a bullet lodged in his chest. Will he wake up so we could get married? Will we be able to grow old together?

_Will he remember me?_

All because of me…he was battling for his life because of his relationship with me. James shot him in cold blood. In the elevator, I let out a strangled sob. "Bells," Rose murmured as she hugged me. "It's okay, sweetie. Let go. It's okay to cry."

"I have to stay strong for him, Rose," I choked out. "I don't know if I can."

"Bella, you are the strongest woman I know," Esme said as she looped her arm in mine. "He's going to be fine. Edward's too stubborn to die." Carlisle shot us a look. He obviously didn't have the same outlook as Esme. "He will pull through and you two will have your wedding. My guess is that Edward will probably want it as soon as he's healthy enough. Once he sets his mind to something, he goes for it a 110%."

"I hope so," I mumbled pathetically. We arrived at the surgical floor. Garrett was already there. He was in a pair of scrubs. His hair was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail and his eyes were haunted. Kate, who had joined us as we left the conference room, ran into his arms and began crying. Garrett, in turn, started his own sobbing. _That cannot be good. If Garrett's crying…this is bad. Really, really bad. Edward could die. _

If he dies, I die. Simple as that. Edward made my life worth-while. Yes, he was a douche when I first met him, but he loves me. I love him. I cannot be without him. I am not leaving this hospital until Edward is walking out with me. If he's not walking out with me, then I'll be next to him in the morgue.

Time inched by. I don't know how long we sat in the chairs of the waiting room. I was curled up, separate from everyone. I didn't want to be near them. I know I should rely on my friends and family, but I needed time to process what was happening. Around midnight, Jasper came to the hospital. His clothes were spattered with blood. He ran to Alice and held her tightly. _The person I want to hold isn't here. He's…he's…_Tears fell over my cheeks. I felt so helpless. I wish there was something I could do. But all I could do was wait.

Alice came and sat with me, holding my hand. Her normally vibrant eyes were glazed over. "He's going to be okay, Bella," she whispered. "I have a feeling."

"Why didn't you have a feeling about Edward getting shot?" I snarled. "Why couldn't you have told him to stay home?" I stood up, ripping my hand from her hands. "Why couldn't you make James go away with your fucking feelings?" I screamed. "Why can't you make him better? NOW!" I turned on my heel and sprinted out of the waiting area. I don't know where I was going. I needed to get out of there. I couldn't bear waiting anymore.

I finally found my way to a chapel in the hospital. I threw myself onto the pew, sobbing uncontrollably. Thankfully, it was empty. Finally, I could lose it without being watched by everyone.

"Why are you crying, my child?" asked a quiet voice. I looked up and saw the chaplain of the chapel standing at the door. "It's Christmas." He smiled at me sadly, walking to my spot in the pew.

"My fiancée was shot," I blubbered. "He's in surgery."

"Oh, child," he said as he took my hands in his. "I'm Father Gregory. Do you want to pray for your fiancée?"

"I don't really go to church or believe in all of this," I said, looking over my shoulder. "I just needed to get away from my friends and the waiting for news…I'll leave if I'm disturbing you."

"Nonsense. God must have sent you here for a purpose, child," he said. "What's your name?"

"Bella," I whispered.

"What's your fiancée's name?"

"Edward."

"Come with me, Bella. If you don't want to pray, I would like to for your fiancée," he said as he led me to a swath of candles. He lit one and did the sign of the cross. I knelt next to him. Tears fell down my cheeks. We sat in silence for a few moments before Father Gregory stood up. "It's a magical time, Bella. Keep your faith. You may not be a religious person, but don't let your pain overwhelm you. It is incredibly sad that your fiancée was injured on Christmas Eve but stay strong, child."

"What if he doesn't make it, Father Gregory?" I choked out. "I don't know what I'd do…he's my whole world. He saved me from a really bad situation. He's my best friend, my hero."

"I don't know what is going to happen, Bella. That's in God's hands. But, if he doesn't make it, Edward will always love you. He'd want you to be happy," Father Gregory said with a sad half-smile. "Stay as long as you'd like, Bella. I'll keep Edward in my prayers. He needs to come back to you."

"Thank you, Father Gregory," I sniffled. I looked at him. He had bright green eyes and red hair with gray peppered through it. He held open his arms. I fell into his hug and sobbed. He swayed us as I lost it.

"Don't lose your path, Bella. Edward will always be with you," he murmured. "And I think your pocket is vibrating."

I pulled away, taking out my cell phone. _He's out of surgery…need you! – Rose_ "Edward's out of surgery. I need to go. Can I come back if I need to?" I asked tentatively.

"Of course, Bella," Father Gregory answered. "Go, child."

I nodded and darted back to the surgical floor. Rose guided me to another conference room where Esme and Carlisle were sitting. Carlisle gave me a furtive glance, disapproving almost. I glowered at him while I sat down next to Esme. She looped her arm through mine. In the past few hours, Esme aged nearly fifty years. Her bright green eyes were dead and distant. Her complexion had taken on a dull pallor. "He's alive," she muttered.

"Has the doctor been in?" I asked.

"We were waiting for you," she answered. "You're the biggest part of Edward's life. You need to be here. Are you alright?"

"No."

"Me neither," Esme chuckled darkly. The surgeon came in as we were talking and sat down across from Esme and me. He gave Carlisle a curt nod before turning his attention to us.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Carter and I was the surgeon assigned to Mr. Cullen," he began. "First off, he made it through the surgery. It was touch and go for awhile. We nearly lost him three times on the table but he bounced back. His heart, which was damaged from a previous heart attack, wasn't accustomed to the extra work it was being forced to do. His age and overall good health were in his favor."

"Did he…did he flatline?" I asked.

"No. We did have to use the paddles on him twice but that was to correct an arrhythmia. We never lost his heartbeat. Now, in regards to his surgery, we had to reinflate his lungs with the use of a chest tube. His ribs were shattered. They were reconstructed as best as we could. We did need to remove one of his ribs as it was unsalvageable. He may need further surgery down the line but we'll address that as he recovers. As for the bullet, we extracted it. It was pressing on his spinal column. Preliminary neurological tests indicate he will be fine in regards to paralysis but he may be a bit more clumsy until his body heals. We have him in a medically induced coma to allow his body time to heal. He suffered a great trauma and he's tired. His body is tired."

"How long until he will be weaned off the medication to keep him in a coma?" Carlisle asked.

"That's dependent upon how quickly his lungs heal, Dr. Cullen," he answered. "It could be a few days or a couple of weeks."

"How will you know if his lungs are healing?" I questioned.

"Once he triggers the vent, that is a clear indication that he's strong enough to breathe on his own," he answered, giving me a kind smile. "He's being moved to the ICU. Once he's settled, you all can head up there."

"Will he make a full recovery?" Esme asked.

"I believe so. Right now, he's very weak and I'm warning you, he's attached to every machine under the sun. But he's a fighter. He will have some scarring along his torso from where we repaired his ribs and lungs. The recovery will be slow-going and tedious. But, with proper therapy and patience, Edward will be able to lead a healthy and productive life."

Esme collapsed against me, hugging me to her body. We leaned heavily against each other, listening to what Dr. Carter had just said. He got up and called to the ICU. Edward was safely in his room. Dr. Carter led us to the ICU and explained everything to the duty nurse. We were allowed twenty-four access to Edward. Friends can come during regular visiting hours. Dr. Carter showed us to Edward's suite. Carlisle and Esme went in first. I needed a moment to mentally prepare myself.

_This is Edward. The man you love…he's going to be in bad shape but, you still love him. Don't freak out. If you do, at least wait until you can get to a bathroom. You can do this, Swan. _

Esme and Carlisle walked out of the suite. Carlisle had to support a sobbing Esme. _Oh, fuck. _Carlisle placed Esme onto a chair near the entrance. He turned to me. "Do you want me to come in with you, Ms. Swan?"

"Um, no," I said quietly. "I need to do this on my own. Thank you, though, Dr. Cullen." He nodded and went back towards Esme. I took a breath and strode through the door. _Edward…_he was laying on the gurney that was too small for him. His skin looked like wax and had appeared to be grey, he was so pale. His long lashes brushed over his sunken cheeks. His hair hung limply over his forehead. The machine to his right breathed for him. On the left side of his body, it was covered with gauze and bandages. Blood from his surgery was oozing through the bandages as he lay there. I noticed that the side that he had had his surgery was the side that I had drawn the guitar on his ribs. It was probably ruined.

_You can fix a tattoo. But, will he survive this?_

Walking stiffly into the room, I pulled up the chair next to the right side of his bed. Lacing my fingers with his, I stared at his handsome face. Even battered, Edward was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. "Hey, Whip," I whispered. "Merry Christmas." I sobbed quietly, knowing that our first Christmas together was marred by this…_Fucking James. _I finally calmed myself down and tightened my hold on his hand. "You better wake up, Edward. I can't survive without you. I…I l-love you. S-so much. I want everything with you. Please fight so we can get married, have babies together, grow old and share dentures. Please? PLEASE?" I wailed as I put my cheek to his cold hand. He didn't respond. The quiet whirring of the machines was my only response.

There was a tentative knock at the door. "Hello?"

I sat up and saw a pretty dark-haired nurse. "Hi," I mumbled.

"I'm Leah. I'll be Edward's nurse tonight. Dr. Carter and Dr. Cullen explained that you'd probably want to stay with him," she said. "I brought you some scrubs to change into. Unfortunately, I can't have a cot in here. But, I can get a recliner placed in here. It's better than the hard plastic chair you're sitting in. Bathroom is right around the corner." She handed me a pile of green. I thanked her to change. Removing my clothes from Christmas, I changed into my scrubs. I noticed she also included a pair of socks and cheap sneakers. I walked out of the bathroom and Leah was checking all of the wires attached to Edward. "Everything looks good. He's resting comfortably. I think he heard you when you were talking to him. His heart raised slightly a few minutes ago."

"He can hear me?" I whispered. Leah looked at the readout and nodded. "He knows I'm here."

"He does. Also, here are Edward's personal items. His wallet, ring and earrings," Leah said. She handed me a small bag. "Some people are particular about their loved ones items. His clothes were not salvageable, though."

"I don't care about the clothes. I just want him back," I murmured, sitting in the recliner next to his bed. I pulled out his ring and placed it on my thumb. His earrings went my ears. I needed to feel close to him and this was how I was going to do it.

"Try and get some rest," Leah soothed. "He's not going anywhere." I shot her a look. She gave me a crooked smile, looking a lot like Edward. "You have to have some sort of sense of humor when you work here. When you're surrounded by so many sick people, you need to learn how to lighten the mood. Talk to your boyfriend?"

"Fiancée," I said as I held up my hand.

"Lucky girl," she smiled. "Talk to him for a few minutes then you need to rest. You can't help him get better if you're sick. Okay?"

"Thank you, Leah," I said. She patted my shoulder and left the room. I laced my fingers with Edward's. "So, you can hear me, huh?" I looked at the machine that monitored his heart. It was beating faster. "I guess I'll be having some one-sided conversations with you, Whip. First off, I miss you. So much. I can't wait until I see your eyes again. When you wake up, I know that I don't want to wait to be your wife. Fuck, let's go to Vegas as soon as you're able. I'll even let you wear that tuxedo shirt you joked about. I don't care what you wear as long as I become your wife."

I played with the hair on the back of his hand. He was so cold. "Do you want another blanket? You're hands are so frigid. I'm used to your warm touch…" I went in search for an extra blanket. Gingerly, I put it over his chest. "Better?"

_Are you expected him to pop up and say yes? _I blinked away a few tears before settling back into my chair. I continued holding his hand until exhaustion overwhelmed me. I sat forward, curling around his hand, clinging to it like a lifeline. I fell asleep. Fitfully, mind you, but I did sleep.

xx EC:AWIP xx

"Bella, it's been a week," Esme said. She was gently wiping down Edward's face with a moist towel after she had shaved him. "You need to go home. Shower, rest, change, get away."

"I'm not leaving until he does," I mumbled. I ran my hand through my greasy hair. It had been one week since he'd been admitted to the hospital. One week since James shot him in the chest. One week since I'd last seen his eyes, heard his voice, felt his touch…

"Bella! I love you, sweetie but you need to get out of here," Esme said, giving me a disapproving look. "You're going to get sick and what good would you be to Edward if you're not at your strongest. Also, you kind of stink."

I was pretty ripe. Granted, I hadn't done much since I arrived, but a warm shower and fresh clothes did sound nice. "I don't have a car, Esme," I argued weakly. She smirked and tossed me her keys. Obviously, I wasn't going to win this argument. I grabbed my coat. Taking one last look at my Edward, I left the hospital room. This would be the quickest drive home and shower in the history of time. I was thinking I would be back in an hour. Hopefully.

The snow from Christmas Eve had melted. It was now rainy and dreary. Totally matched my mood. Driving carefully to the house, I parked Esme's Mercedes on the driveway. I darted inside of the house. My friends had taken down all of the Christmas decorations and obviously cleaned up. I was grateful for them, though I hadn't really spoken to anyone since my outburst to Alice. I felt guilty but I needed Edward to be better. They probably hated me at the moment, but I couldn't find it in my heart to really put up a fuss over it. I quickly showered and put on a pair of yoga pants and one of Edward's shirts. It smelled like him: his cologne, tobacco and mint. Edward chewed gum like it was going out of style.

I went down to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water along with a snack before heading back to hospital.

"For such a rich, secured neighborhood, getting in here was surprisingly easy," I heard behind me. A chill ran through my spine as I turned around to find a very gaunt James standing in our family room. "Sneaking through your neighbor's yards was simple enough. Though, it hurt a lot. You see, your blonde friend shot my arm. I think it's infected. What do you think?" He removed his tattered coat to show me his pussy wound.

"I hope you get gangrene and your arm falls off, fucker," I seethed. I rooted around in the drawers sneakily and grabbed a sharp knife. I held it behind my back as I quickly dialed 911 with my cell phone. I put it on the counter, not waiting for them to pick up.

"Now, I can finally finish what I started," James said as he moved closer to me. "I'm going to fuck you and then kill you, Bella. It's a shame about Cullen. I thought I got him so he would die. But, that asshole is like a fucking 'Seiko' – takes a licking but keeps on ticking." He stalked me around the counter. I noticed that he didn't have any form of weaponry. He still wore Barney's coat but he was a little worse for wear. _I can take him. I will not let my fear control me. James is going down._

James lunged toward me. I slipped out from underneath his grasp and got out of the corner he backed me into. He stumbled and caught himself on the refrigerator. He snarled and grabbed at me again. I ran out of the kitchen, my knife still in my hand. I sprinted to the office where Edward showed me there was a hidden gun in his desk. I quickly grabbed it, tossing the knife onto the floor. James limped toward the office and growled at me. "That wasn't very nice, Bella. I'm injured. Take pity on me."

"Like you took pity on Edward?" I yelled. I released the safety of the gun and aimed it at his chest. "No. You've tortured us long enough."

"Please, baby," he begged as he moved closer to me. "I can make you feel good. We were meant for each other."

"Who knew that getting fucked with a god-damned knife was supposed to be pleasurable, asshole," I sneered. "Because of you and your attack on me, I lost the ability to have children."

"Pity," James frowned. "We would have made beautiful babies, Isabella." He sprinted toward me with a vicious glare on his face. I screamed as I fired the gun. It was loud and the kick-back was insane. I hadn't expected that. James fell to his knees, clutching his belly. Blood was spilling out of the wound. "You cunt! You shot me!"

"Payback's a bitch," I said as I stood over him, the gun pointing at the spot between his eyes. James heaved himself off the ground. He wiped the sweat from his brow, leaving a trail of fresh blood along his face. He reached into his pants and produced his own revolver. He cocked the hammer and was about to shoot when six rapid shots filled the house. James collapsed on the ground by my feet. Standing in the office door was Barney along with four other officers.

"Bella, put the gun down," Barney said quietly. I placed the gun onto the desk, holding my hands up. Barney walked over James' body. He grabbed my hand, pulling me into an embrace. When I felt his arms around me, I collapsed. "It's over, sweetie. James is gone."

"I killed him," I sobbed, clutching at his shirt.

"No, you didn't. We did. You were protecting yourself, Bella," Barney soothed. He cupped my face to his chest as he led me out of the office. Obviously, he didn't want me to see the result of what his officers did. He sat me down in the family room and got me a glass of water. "We heard everything over the scanner. The 911 operator patched your call through to my cruiser. We came as soon as we could. Obviously, it was just in time."

"How did you get in?" I whimpered.

He looked sheepishly at the ruined front door. "A little excessive force," he quipped. "We'll pay for the damages, Bella. Along with the cleanup of the 'mess.'" I nodded. "We need your statement. Then we'll personally escort you back to the hospital. I know you're anxious to get back to Edward."

Two hours later, I was being driven by Barney to the hospital in Esme's car. I was too shaken up to actually drive her vehicle. Barney's partner was driving his cruiser behind us. Barney parked the car and walked into the hospital with me. He truly was a good guy. Once I was safely with Esme, he gave me a hug before leaving with his partner to finish with the crime scene. Or rather, our house. "Bella?" Esme squeaked when she saw me. "What happened? You're shaking like a leaf."

"Ja-James was in the house," I shuddered. Esme's eyes widened as she processed what I just said. She gathered me in her arms, squeezing the shit out of me. She ran her hand through my hair, checking if I was alright. Honestly, I wasn't. I saw a man die before my very eyes. Part of what happened to him was because of me. Plus, Edward was still not awake.

"Bella, my dear," Esme cooed as she held me. "What happened?"

I told her what happened, trying to get through it without crying. That failed miserably. My sobs were heard all throughout the ICU ward. Esme soothed me as best she could. But, I needed to let this out. I needed to cry for what James had done to me. I needed to cry for the man who was fighting for his life in the hospital room. I needed to cry for every shitty thing that happened to me. I cried until I had no more tears left to cry. "Better?" Esme asked.

"Not really," I sniffled.

"Well, I have some good news, sweetie," Esme said as she brushed my matted hair away from my face. "Edward triggered the vent. He's trying to breathe on his own. Dr. Carter is lessening the sedatives that are keeping him asleep. He should be completely off them by tomorrow."

"Will he wake up, then?" I asked.

"If his body is ready to be awake, then he will," Esme explained. "Garrett and Kate are in with him now. They are heading back to Portland tonight."

"Shit, how is this going to affect his recovery and addiction?" I asked.

"It won't, Bella," Kate said. "He needs to be on pain killers. We'll just need to closely monitor him so he doesn't abuse them. You'll have rely on each other and your friends."

"I thought you were with Edward," I murmured.

"I said what I needed to," she shrugged. "He knows I love him like the pain-in-the-ass younger brother. We'll be back next weekend. Hopefully, he can respond to my jabs. Bella, I want you to know that if you want to talk, call me. Any time. You're going through a tough time, obviously. I heard what happened at the house. Plus with what happened to Edward, you're going to want to use. Don't. You need to be strong for him. Strong for yourself. Strong for your friends and family. Call me if you ever get the urge to…you know. I'll be here as soon as I can to prevent you from making that choice."

"I won't, Kate. I mean, I won't go back to that," I said fervently. "But, I will call you."

"Good. Because, my baby needs to have her godmother around," she said as she hugged. "Edward's the godfather to Squidward."

"Squidward?" Esme asked.

Kate laid her hands on her belly. "Squidward. We're not finding out what we're having and I hated calling our baby the 'bean' or 'peanut.' One of my clients' kids was watching Spongebob. He pointed to my belly and called it 'Squidward.' It stuck."

Esme and I blinked at Kate. She shrugged before enveloping me into a hug. "He's going to be fine, Bella. He's fighting to get back to you. Everyday he's getting stronger," she murmured. "Call me, Bella. I love you, sweetie."

"Love you, too, Kate," I said. She kissed my forehead and waddled to the bathroom. Garrett came out and he also hugged me. He reiterated what Kate had said. He also explained that once Edward was out of the hospital, he and Kate were planning on staying close by in case Edward relapses into an addictive fiend. With one more final hug, they left. Esme kissed my cheek before going down to the cafeteria to get some food.

I walked into the suite where Edward was laying. Kate was right. His color was more pink as opposed to the grey-ish tint it had for the first few days he was here. However, he had lost weight. The tone to his body had gone away. His cheeks looked sunken in. Sighing heavily, I crossed to his bed, brushing his hair away from his forehead. I kissed his temple. "Edward," I cried. "I need you, baby. Fuck, I need you to hold me and tell me that it's all going to be alright. I need a snarky comment. I need your love. Wake up, please?"

His heart sputtered at the sound of my voice. He had heard me. I curled up on the recliner, leaning my head on his right shoulder. "James is dead, Edward. He came to the house. Something about sneaking through the neighbor's yards, Whip. But, he managed to get inside. He was going to finish what he started. Fuck me then kill me." Edward's heart raced. "He didn't, though. I stopped him before he could do any damage. You can relax," I chuckled. His heart rate slowed and he breathed deeply, pushing against his breathing tube. "I shot him, Edward. I used the gun in your desk. I got him in the stomach. But initially that didn't stop him. He still tried to…anyhow, Barney and his officers killed him. He's now a corpse. No more James."

The next few hours were spent with a revolving door of our friends. News of James' death had spread to Dreamstyle. Emmett and Rose, who had canceled their trip to her family because of the drama, were the first to come. I felt immediately better with Emmett around. He was always my protector prior to Edward. Even though James was dead, Victoria was still out there, presumably. They stayed for a couple of hours until Alice and Jasper came. Alice ignored me. I expected that. I was pretty mean to her. Jasper was hissing at her about letting it go, but Alice could be just as stubborn as me. But, she needed to understand that I wasn't lashing out at her, I was just frustrated. Scared. Angry.

I would extend an olive branch but not today. My emotions were too raw. I just focused on the sleeping man next to me.

Alice and Jas left once visiting hours were over. I changed into a pair of pajamas before curling up on the recliner. "I love you, Edward," I murmured as I leaned my cheek against his now warm hand. "I miss you." His fingers twitched. It was the first movement since he was admitted. "Do you miss me? Squeeze my hand if you miss me." I put my hand into his and sure enough, he squeezed my fingers weakly. "Edward…can you open your eyes for me? Please, baby?"

His face was impassive but his grip around my fingers was tight. "It's okay, Edward. Just rest. I know you're in there. I love you." He squeezed my fingers three times. _I love you_. Tears fell over my cheeks. I leaned my head on our clasped hands, falling asleep quickly. For the first time since he was brought in, I felt…hope.

**A/N: And that's what she wrote…James is dead, thanks to Barney and his cronies. Edward is getting better. He'll be back next chapter. His take on her conversation about James will be interpreted in his sleep-fogged brain. We're getting close to the end. I'm guessing maybe two, three chapters? We have Edward's reemergence from his medically induced coma and healing (will be breezing over that. Not a doctor, nor do I claim to be. I'm just a music teacher with an overactive imagination). The wedding and epilogue. Leave me some love… MUAH! **


	27. Chapter 27

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a brand new digital piano, a Honda Pilot (paid it off last week! WOO HOO!) and unhealthy addiction to Yankee Candle **_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Pain, Recovery and New Beginnings**

**EPOV**

Why can't I move? I feel like a weight is being pressed to my chest. A weight sharp, thorny spikes imbedded in my lungs. _Fuck that hurts!_ I tried to swallow, but couldn't do so. There was something in my throat. I feel so weird. Dazed, foggy, distant…

"Edward…it's Dr. Carter…lessen the sedatives. You're trying to breathe on your own…a few days, okay?" came a hazy voice.

Sedatives? Breathing on my own? I'm so confused.

I heard some rustling and some of the fog on my brain lifted. I could hear more. I heard Garrett's voice. "Hey, punk. You gave us quite the scare. The doctors informed us that you're getting better. You're going to be in pain, but shit, I'd rather you be in pain and alive then six feet under. Bella's been crazy with worry. Hasn't left since Christmas Eve. Well, she left today. Esme forced her."

"Garrett, she hasn't been sleeping properly and don't get me started on her hygiene," Kate grumbled. "I have no idea what she sees in this buffoon…"

"Katherine," Garrett growled.

"Edward knows I love him," she said as she kissed my forehead. "But you are a buffoon. Ask to see a damn badge, moron."

_Yes, ma'am._ I breathed deeply, causing immense pain to travel through my left side. _Don't do that. _

"Besides, Edward. You need to get better so you can be the godfather to our baby," she murmured in my ear. "Uncle Eddie has a nice ring to it, yeah?"

_Don't. Call. Me. Eddie. _

I heard wailing. My heart rate raced. I could hear the beeping in my ear. Garrett and Kate were whispering. I couldn't hear them over the beeping. "Bella's back, Edward," Garrett explained. "Something's happened." My heart rate continued to increase. "Relax, Edward. She's fine. Obviously, she's upset but she's been through the ringer."

_My Bella. I'm trying, love. I want to open my eyes. I want to hold you. I want to love you…fuck! _

"I'm not saying that to make you upset, Edward. I'm sorry. She needs you back, man. The way she looks at you. It's like you're her savior. In a way, you are. But, she is also yours. I can't wait until I see you two walk down the aisle."

_As soon as I am able to move under my own power, we're getting married. Hell, I'd drag a judge into my damn hospital room…Or the chaplain that came in earlier this week…Father Gregory?_

"I'm going to go, Edward. We'll be back next weekend. I love you, man. Get better. Don't let the pain overwhelm you," Garrett said as he kissed my forehead. "Be strong, Cullen."

I was left in the room, alone for a few moments. I was freaking out. Ever since I was brought in, I had someone with me. The quiet whirring of the machines didn't provide me any solace or companionship. I was so used to hearing my mom or Bella talking to me, reading to me, watching television. There was an ache in my heart. Soon, the ache went away. I heard a quiet sigh and soft foot-falls. Soft, tiny hands brushed hair from my forehead and kissed my temple. _Bella…_

"Edward, I need you, baby. Fuck, I need you to hold me and tell me that it's all going to be alright. I need a snarky comment. I need your love. Wake up, please?"

_Bella, I'm trying, gorgeous. I want to wrap my arms around you. I can hear how upset you are. Tell me what happened, love. Please?_

She pushed a chair closer to me, placing her soft, fragrant head to my shoulder. "James is dead, Edward. He came to the house. Something about sneaking through the neighbor's yards, Whip. But, he managed to get inside. He was going to finish what he started. Fuck me then kill me."

_God damn it! I wish I had killed that fucker. No one touches you, Bella. You're mine! Please say that you're okay. I need to hear that you're okay. _

"He didn't, though. I stopped him before he could do any damage. You can relax," she giggled.

_Thank GOD! If he had touched one hair on your body, I'd bring him back to life so I could kill him. _ I breathed deeply. _Ow. That really fucking hurts. Mother fucker. _

"I shot him, Edward. I used the gun in your desk. I got him in the stomach. But initially that didn't stop him. He still tried to…anyhow, Barney and his officers killed him. He's now a corpse. No more James."

_I could kiss you, Barney. Thank you for saving my girl. _

Bella kissed my temple again, snuggling against my right arm. I couldn't move anything but I got the tingling in my fingers and toes that indicated I was getting some control over them. But, my mind was tired. I let the blackness soothe me into some rest.

xx EC:AWIP xx

"…Alice, get over it," Jasper hissed. "Imagine how you would feel if you were in Bella's shoes. How would you react?"

"Not like that," she growled. "She hurt my feelings."

"Alice, please, baby. The man she loves more than her own life was in surgery. Don't take what she said so personally," Jasper reasoned. "I'd probably react the same way. My guess was that she just wanted Edward to hold her and you came up with your 'cryptic' feeling comment and she lost it. Get over it. I mean it." Alice scoffed. "Mrs. Whitlock, Bella is your best friend."

"Sorry, Dr. Whitlock," she said contritely. "She is, but what she said hurt me."

"Alice, seriously, put yourself in her shoes," Jasper insisted. I heard Alice squeak and then cry quietly. "Now you get it, Mrs. Whitlock. Bella may apologize. She may not but you need to let it go. Okay?"

"Okay, Dr. Whitlock," she giggled.

_Interesting development. They're married. Who would have known? And seriously, stop mouth raping each other. I'm in a coma here and I don't want to hear that shit. _

Shortly after Alice and Jasper spoke, they left once Bella came back into the room. Jasper hugged Bella while Alice hung back presumably. Their goodbyes were a bit stiff and contrived. Rustling about, Bella flits around the room. I felt her warmth as she put her head on my right hand. "I love you, Edward," she murmured.

_Show her. Twitch. Spasm. SOMETHING, DAMMIT! _ My fingers twitched against her face. She gasped quietly. "Do you miss me? Squeeze my hand if you miss me," she commanded softly. She pressed her fingers into my palm. Using all of my strength, I squeezed her hand. Fuck, I missed her so much. Yes, she was right next to me, but seeing her face, feeling her body, kissing her lips…it was all a distant memory. "Edward…can you open your eyes for me? Please, baby?"

I tried to open my eyelids. It felt like lead weights were attached to my eyes. Wasn't going to happen, that was for certain. I did tighten my grip on her hand. "It's okay, Edward. Just rest. I know you're in there. I love you." _Oh, Bella, I love you, too. _I squeezed her fingers three times. Hopefully she got the message. She let out a quiet sob, pressing her cheek to my hand. I breathed deeply, ignoring the searing pain in my lungs, finally content that I could finally communicate with her.

Unfortunately, my brain would not shut off. Bella's quiet snores filled the room. I was still 'asleep' but I was painfully aware of every sound, every ache, everything in the room. My guess was that because they reduced the sedatives, I was more aware. The nurse, Leah, came in around two in the morning. "Hmmm, your heart rate is elevated, Mr. Cullen. Are you in pain?" she mumbled to herself. My heart rate picked up. "I'll take that as a yes. Let me get some pain killers for you. Sit tight."

_I'm not going anywhere. I'm chained to a breathing machine and a Foley catheter. Plus, I'm still technically unconscious. _

"Here you go, Mr. Cullen. This should help with the pain," Leah explained as she injected something into my IV. Immediately, I felt groggy and foggy. "Heart rate is going down. Rest, Mr. Cullen. I'll see you in the morning."

xx EC:AWIP xx

"…the sedatives are completely out of his system and he's breathing on his own."

"Why is he not waking up, Dr. Carter?" Esme asked.

"He's aware, right now," Dr. Carter explained. "But his body went through an amazing trauma. His mind may be alert but his body needs to catch up. Once he's awake, we'll remove him from the vent."

"How long?" Bella whispered.

"Sometime today, Bella," Dr. Carter said. "Based off his heart rate and twitchiness, probably very soon."

_How about now?_ I asked mentally. Bella's hand was in mine and I squeezed it. I felt her lips against my cheek. "I love you, Edward." _I love you, too_, I squeezed. My eyelids fluttered. "Edward?"

"Edward, it's Dr. Carter. Can you open your eyes?" he asked.

_I'm trying, fuckwit_. I clamped them shut before trying to force them open. _Come on. I need to see my girl. _I cracked open my lids and was blinded by the harshness of the light. My eyes flew shut.

"Close the blinds and turn off the lights," Dr. Carter said quietly. "Try again, Edward."

I slowly peeled my lids away from my eyes. Everything was fuzzy and hazy. I saw three people huddled around my bed. Frantically, I searched for Bella. "I'm here, Whip," she cooed as she moved closer. _There she is, my angel. _I blinked the haziness away and stared at her. "Hi, baby," she said, giving me a smile. "I've missed you." Tears welled in my eyes. They spilled over. "It's okay, Edward. Please don't cry."

_You're okay. Thinner, but okay. Thank GOD!_

"Edward, can you please look at me?" came a male voice. I turned my head and looked at presumably Dr. Carter. He was older. Appeared to be my parents' age with a kind smile. "Good. I'm going to remove your breathing tube. On the count of three, I want you to cough. Leah, stand by with suction."

"Sure, Dr. Carter," she said as she moved to the spot where Bella was standing. "Nice to see your eyes, Mr. Cullen."

"Okay, Edward. One…two…three," Dr. Carter commanded. I coughed weakly but it forced the tube from my throat. I felt like the top layer of skin was ripped from my trachea as it was taken from my body. Leah suctioned my mouth while Dr. Carter put the nose things up my shnoz. I opened my mouth, wanting to talk. "Don't force it, Edward. It'll hurt to speak."

"Let me get the whiteboard," Leah chirped. She darted away and returned with a small whiteboard and dry-erase marker. "If you want to say something, use this until your throat calms down, Mr. Cullen."

_Please call me Edward,_ I wrote on the board. My handwriting was shaky but at least it was somewhat legible.

"Okay, Edward," Leah smiled.

"On a scale of one to ten, how's the pain?" Dr. Carter asked.

_Ten being the worst?_ He nodded. _A twenty._

"We'll give you some pain killers after we speak," Dr. Carter explained.

_I'm a recovering drug addict. Minimal drugs, please_. I grimaced as I wrote that, but I had been clean for so long. I refused to slip back down that slope.

"Edward, we know about your history," Dr. Carter said. "However, if you're in constant pain, it will hinder your recovery. If you are cognizant of your limits, you should be fine. Plus, you have a strong support with Bella, your mom and friends."

"We won't let you get addicted," Bella said as she sat next to me, her eyes filling with tears. "I can't lose you."

_I can't lose you, either. Fuck, I've missed you, Bella. I love you. I wish I could say it…_I wiped my cheeks with my hand. Tears were falling down, unabated.

"I know, Edward. Just seeing you awake is enough right now," Bella said as her own tears spilled over her cheeks. I wiped her tears away with my thumb. She leaned into my touch, sobbing more. I took a deep breath. _OW!_

_What happened? Why do I feel like I'm breathing fire?_ I asked.

"You were shot in the chest, Edward," Dr. Carter said. "The bullet went through your left lung and shattered your rib cage. The bullet was pinned by your spinal cord. We had to perform rather invasive surgery to repair the damage." He reached around my neck and untied the hospital gown. My entire left side was covered with gauze. I was bruised and there was some blood oozing through the gauze. "We've reconstructed your ribs. Your lung was deflated because of the shot. That burning feeling is your lung trying to heal itself. You'll have to go through breathing therapy to get your lung capacity back to what it was prior to your incident. Plus, you will have to go through physical therapy to address some residual issues from where the bullet ended up. It was very close to your spine. You may be clumsier than normal for a few months but, you will make a complete recovery."

_What's the time frame?_

"Six to eight months," Dr. Carter answered. "But you have your age and good health in your favor."

_Good health? If I could snort, I would, Doc. I smoke like a chimney and my eating habits are not all that great._

"Well, the smoking will have to stop, Mr. Cullen," Dr. Carter said sternly. "You've been in here for a little over a week. No smoking. You should be over the worse of that. In regards to your eating habits, we'll work on those. Now, later today, you'll be meeting with a respiratory therapist to begin that. Physical therapy will begin next week."

_When can I go home? Sooner the better. _

"When you can walk to the bathroom, unassisted, to pee," Dr. Carter snickered. I scowled at him. Right now I had a tube shoved up my cock. Not exactly pleasant. "I'm hoping in a couple of weeks, Mr. Cullen. Don't look so sullen."

_How would you feel with a tube shoved up your penis, Doc?_

Bella and Esme giggled. I rolled my eyes at them. "I'd hate it, Edward. We'll try and get that removed tomorrow. You can use a portable urinal. Leah?"

"Yes, Dr. Carter?"

"Please give Edward some morphine along with ativan. Now, that he's aware, there may be some residual flashbacks. It'll keep him calm," Dr. Carter said. "I'm glad you're back, Mr. Cullen. You're quite the spitfire. If you keep this attitude, you will recover in no time."

_Bella's the spitfire. I'm just her personal whipping boy._

"Edward!" she squeaked. Esme looked at us, a question mark gracing her features. _Inside joke, Mom. Goes back to when I started at Dreamstyle. _

"He was the shop 'bitch' but my personal whipping boy since he was my apprentice," Bella said, shooting me a look. "That's why I call him 'Whip.'"

"Was she a tough teacher?" Esme asked.

_She was. But, I learned a lot from her. And not just about tattooing. _I looked at her softly. Leah came in with the medications. She administered them. Dr. Carter and Leah left. My brain became foggy, again. Bella took the whiteboard from my lap. "Sleep, Whip."

"Don't wanna," I whispered, the pain in my chest and throat be damned. "Need to look at you."

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward. When you wake, I'll be here," she said as she kissed my forehead. "Love you."

"Love you, more," I rasped.

"Don't talk, Edward," she said as she pressed soft kisses along my temple. "Sleep." I nodded and put my head on her shoulder. Within moments, I was out.

xx EC:AWIP: xx

"Dr. Carter, you said that once I could walk to the bathroom and pee, I could be discharged," I whined petulantly. "Can't I go home?"

"Another week, Edward. I'm concerned about your lung capacity. You should be able to take a deeper breath," he said.

"It hurts, Dr. C," I said as I sat back on the bed. I winced slightly as my damaged ribs hit the flat mattress.

"Are you taking your pain killers?" he asked sternly.

"Only if it's really, REALLY bad," I answered. "I'm afraid."

"I know you are, Edward. I get that. But, you need the help of the medications. You can build up more strength and get out of here quicker," Dr. Carter said. He rummaged through my medications: two antibiotics, a steroid and pain killers. He shook out two of the pain killers and handed them to me. I scowled as I popped them into my mouth, chugging them into my system with some water. "Tim will be here at two for your respiratory therapy, Cullen. Don't be stubborn."

"Yes, sir," I said, rolling my eyes. Dr. Carter smirked as he left my room. Bella had forced out of the hospital by Rose and Alice. She was getting stir crazy and needed to go home to get some fresh clothes. I could tell that she didn't want to go back to the house. Hell, after what she told me of what James did, I didn't want to go back there. The house was tainted.

"Edward?"

I looked up and saw my father standing by the entrance of my room. I'd been moved from ICU shortly after I woke up and had been in this hell-hole since. I stared at him impassively. He was still on my shit list. He'd try to talk to me while I was in the hospital but neither Esme or Bella would let him in the room. He walked into my room and sat down stiffly. "How are you?"

"In excruciating pain," I answered flatly. "But other than that, swell. What do you want, Carlisle? I just took my pain meds and you have about fifteen minutes before I crash."

"Um, well…" Carlisle mumbled. "I wanted to talk."

"About what, Carlisle? About your fucked up mistake? About your lame attempt to try and make amends since I was at death's door a few weeks ago? I am really not in the mood. You've made your bed, now lie in it," I snapped. I was breathing heavily after my tirade at him.

"Yes, Edward, I made a mistake. A horrific mistake. It cost me the two things I loved the most in my world. You and your mom," he said dejectedly. "When we…"

"We?" I asked incredulously.

"When I kicked you out, I thought I was doing you a favor. Making you realize that you were going to waste your life on your music," Carlisle explained. "You were so smart, Edward. A full ride to Dartmouth…"

"I'm still smart, Carlisle. I'm maintaining a 4.0 GPA at UDub," I laughed bitterly. "Even after I fried my brain with drugs."

"Edward, I'm trying to fucking apologize," Carlisle sneered. "If I hadn't been such an ass, you wouldn't be in here."

"Probably, Carlisle. But, you know what? Despite the fact that I was shot and injured, I wouldn't have changed anything. I found Bella. She's my reason for living…for breathing. I love her so much. I'd go through all of this shit again to ensure that I found her. You can apologize until you're blue in the face, Carlisle. I'm not going to accept it. I'm going to move on with my life, with Bella. I'm going to finish my degree and live happily ever after. You can deal with your demons on your own time. Don't bother me."

Carlisle blinked at me. His blue eyes filled with tears. I couldn't bother to care. I closed my eyes and let the pain killers do their work. "I am sorry, Edward. I hope that someday we can…"

"Don't hold your breath, Carlisle," I spat, keeping my eyes closed. He heaved a sigh and left my room. Once I was alone, I finally allowed my brain to shut off for a little bit. The pain from talking and breathing was unbearable. I tried to do the deep breathing exercises that Tim, my respiratory therapist, suggested but it hurt too much. I tried to rest but couldn't get comfortable. I shifted on the too small bed. I was getting frustrated and the conversation with my dad was on repeat in my brain.

"Edward, do you want to go for a walk?" asked Leah. "You're doing the funky chicken in your bed. It'll do your legs some good."

"Sure," I grumbled. I swung my legs out of the bed. Leah wrapped her arm around my waist and guided me out to the hallway. My pajama pants hung loosely around my waist. Cradling my left arm, we walked around the nurse's station. I had to pause to catch my breath. Leah, the patient woman she was, waited for me. We made three laps around the ward before I needed to stop.

"You did good, Cullen. Added another lap," she said as she helped me onto the bed. "You'll be running marathons in no time."

"I didn't run marathons while I was healthy, Leah," I said dryly. She handed me a glass of water. "Thanks."

"Have you and Bella discussed wedding dates yet?" she asked, hungry for information.

"Not yet," I frowned. "I think Bella wants me to get out of here first before we make any plans for our wedding. If I had my way, though, I'd get married yesterday. This whole thing with James and my being shot taught me that I need to seize the day, you know?"

"I know. I'm waiting for my knight on his white horse to sweep me away," she giggled. "Got any single friends, Cullen?"

"Nope. Sorry," I said as I settled back into the bed. "All of my friends are happily with other people."

"Damn. A girl can hope. Plus, I'm a sucker for tattoos. You got some really nice ink, Edward," she said.

"Once I get out of here, I'll tat you up," I smirked. "Anything you want…okay?"

"Deal," she smiled. Tim sauntered in. I groaned. Leah laughed maniacally as she left.

"You suck, Leah," I yelled after her. She continued to laugh.

"I don't feel the love, Edward," Tim said with a pronounced frown.

"You make me hurt. Of course, I don't love you," I grouched. "Let's get on with the daily torture." Tim gave me an impish grin before taking out his implements of agony. An hour of heavy breathing and wheezing, Tim left. Bella slipped in as he was packing up. "Finally, a friendly face."

"Hi, Whip," she said, winking at me.

"He's crotchety today, Bella," Tim said as he snuck out.

"Are you being unbearable to your therapists, Edward?" Bella chided.

"A little. It hurts," I whined. "Plus, I hate taking the pain meds. I feel all loopy."

"Edward, you have to take your medication. I know what you're thinking but don't worry about it," Bella said as she sat down next to me, lacing her fingers with mine. I immediately calmed down. _What would really calm me down is good orgasm…Fuck, I'm so horny. _"Edward, stop staring at me like I'm the last woman in the planet. We can't be together like that. At least not for awhile. Your ribs are still healing and it hurts for you to breathe deeply. When you come, your hold body reacts. No nookie."

"Fuck," I grumbled. "God damn James."

"I do want to talk to you, though," she said as she sat down in the chair next to the bed. "It's about the house…"

"I'm selling it. I don't think I can go back in there knowing that James was there," I said succinctly. "I feel horribly about getting rid of the house, but…"

"Actually, I've talking to your mom. She's willing to buy it from you and she's going to move in there. She put her home in Port Angeles up for sale. She and Dr. Carter have gotten, um, close," Bella blushed. "Your dad was served with divorce papers a week ago."

"Damn," I snickered. "Good for Mom. She deserves some happiness. And Dr. Carter is a good guy."

"What about your mom's offer?"

"What is she planning on doing to the house?" I asked.

"Demolishing it and starting from scratch," Bella answered. "Apparently your grandfather left her a shit-ton of money, too. She gave me a ton of listings on Mercer Island."

"I'm glad to be rid of the house, but I don't know about having my mom live there…especially after what happened," I said, my heart clenching.

"Edward, James is gone. Victoria was found in James' hide-out, raped and beaten to death. By her own brother. What the hell? I mean, that dude was fucking sick," Bella shuddered. "Anyhow, I can't walk in the house without having a panic attack. I had to call Emmett to carry me inside today to get a fresh change of clothes and shower. Every second while I was there, I was looking over my shoulder. I can't do it, Edward." Tears fell onto her cheeks. With my right hand, I pulled on her arm. She gave me a look but I scooted over on the bed. She crawled in with me, curling to my right side.

"We'll find something else, Bella. Perhaps something smaller. That house was too much for the two of us," I said as I kissed her damp hair. She nodded. "What about our wedding? You still want to get hitched?"

"I do," she giggled, nestling closer to me. It hurt slightly but I didn't make a fuss. I loved holding her.

"I do, too," I answered. "Sooner rather than later, baby…shit, I'm sorry. I know you don't like it when I call you that."

"Edward, it's okay. You can call me 'baby' if you want. I prefer 'love' but 'baby' works, too," she said looking up at me. I dipped down and kissed her lips chastely. Even that chaste kiss caused my cock to spring to life. "You really are horny, Edward. Jesus. Put that monster away."

"It's all because of your awesome mouth, baby," I purred, kissing her lips again.

"Behave, Whip," she said sternly. "Wedding."

"How about April?" I suggested. "I should be healthy enough by then to marry you, Ms. Swan."

"I want Father Gregory to marry us," she smiled. "At the Japanese Gardens in Portland."

"Sounds perfect, love," I said as I held her with my right arm. Bella laced her fingers with my weak left hand before dozing off. I followed soon after.

xx EC:AWIP xx

"Congratulations, Mr. Cullen. Ms. Swan. I hope you both enjoy your new home," Jenks said with a flourish. He handed me a set of keys to the brand new home that I had purchased, using the money my mom had given me for the estate in Bellevue. It was located in the Queen Anne neighborhood. It was a recently refurbished home from 1925 that looked like it came out of a fairy tale.

I had handed Jenks the largest check I had ever written in my life of nearly $800,000. But, Bella's sanity was worth that and more. As a housewarming gift, my mom was going to decorate it for us. We were currently staying in a furnished apartment while our house was being decorated and we could move in.

Once I was released from the hospital a month after I was shot, I nearly had a panic attack in the car ride to the house in Bellevue. Thankfully, Garrett and Kate were the ones driving us back. He pulled off the highway and talked me down. Kate calmed down Bella. It was at the moment that we decided that we would pack up our necessities and move into an apartment. Neither one of us could bear to be in that house. After packing our belongings, Garrett drove us to a hotel while I looked for apartments that had flexible leases and furnished apartments. We decided on using the AMLI apartments in Bellevue. It was close to Legacy for Bella and for my outpatient physical therapist.

The work was grueling. True to Dr. Carter's prediction, I was very clumsy. It wasn't a true spinal injury but it took me awhile to get moving. Couple that with ribs that ached constantly and my lungs that burned with each breath I took, I was a bit of a grump. Don't forget about school. I didn't want to lose my momentum. I ended up taking all online courses this semester. The university was more than willing to accommodate my needs once they heard about my medical status.

"Edward, I was thinking," Bella said as she sat in my new car in the driver's seat. My old car was shot to hell. I decided to buckle and get myself something new. And big. I couldn't get a Volvo. I was turned off to the Volvo after my 'incident.' I got an Audi Q7 in silver. _Some habits die hard_.

"That sounds dangerous," I quipped as I adjusted myself in the passenger seat.

"Shut it, Cullen," she laughed. "I want to wait to get married. If we get married in April, it'll be right around when you are taking your midterms. Let's wait until after you're done with your finals. Plus, we can actually take a honeymoon."

"Late May?" I asked.

"Yeah. Memorial Day weekend," she said, biting her lip. "Are you mad?"

"Bella, I'm not mad," I said as I reached over to lace my fingers with hers. "Whatever you want to do is okay with me."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. Now, let's go see our house. As much as our apartment is nice, I can't wait until we have someplace to call our own, you know? Not my grandfather's. Not my mom's. Ours. Yours and mine," I said as I kissed her knuckles. "Drive, Crandel."

"Ass," she snickered. "Some of us need to work, Edward."

"Excuse me for getting my ribs obliterated," I snorted. "Mom is meeting us there. You can drive my pretty new car to the shop while I hang out with her and wait for delivery of our furniture."

"It's not going to be chintz crap, is it?"

"I don't think so, Bella. My mom knows that we are not a chintz, toile couple," I snickered. "My guess is that it'll be a nice mix of traditional and funky. Probably very zen and Japanese."

"I like that," Bella smiled. She pulled away from Jenks' Seattle office and drove to the Queen Anne neighborhood until we pulled up to our new home, behind Esme's car. She hopped out when we came and bounced on her toes, like Alice. "Hi, Esme. Channeling your inner Midget?"

"I am," she said, hugging Bella. "How are you, sweet girl?"

"I'm good. Dealing with writer's cramp but good," she chortled.

"How are you, Edward?" Esme asked as she gingerly hugged me. I was still in a great amount of pain but nothing compared to what I felt in the hospital.

"Good, Mom," I said as I kissed her forehead. "How are things with John?"

"Stop it, Edward," she said as she swatted at my right arm playfully. "Dr. Carter is well. We have plans to go to the symphony this weekend. I'm excited."

"How is Dad taking the divorce?" I asked, wincing slightly as we walked into the house with our proffered keys.

"He's miserable but not fighting anything," Esme answered as we entered the house. "Oh, Edward. This is beautiful. How did you find it?"

"Alice found it, actually," Bella explained. "I dragged Edward here after one of his therapy sessions and it was love at first sight. I can't wait to move in."

"Me neither," I answered.

"Everything should be delivered by the end of this week," Esme said. "You can legitimately move in this weekend."

"I'm game if you are," Bella smirked.

"Fuck yeah," I breathed. Esme pinched my arm. "Sorry, Mom."

"Language, Edward," she chided.

"Okay, as much as I want stay and hang out in our new house, I have to go to work," Bella grumbled. "Is it okay if you drive Edward back to the apartment?"

"Of course, sweet girl," Esme said as she hugged Bella. "I love you, Bella. Have a good day at work."

"Will do Esme," she said as she blushed. Esme truly loved Bella like a daughter and for the first time in my girl's life, she knew what it was like to have a parents' love. Bella turned to me and gave me a smoldering gaze. She sashayed over to me and looped her arms around my neck. "I love you, Whip. Have fun with your mom." She gently pulled me down and kissed my lips soundly, nipping at my bottom lip. I groaned quietly which allowed her the opportunity to slip her tongue between my lips. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her to my chest, pain and agony be damned. _I'll be so happy when I get the go ahead to make love to my fiancée. Fuck, she won't know what hit her. _"I'll see you later, Whip."

"Tease," I mumbled against her mouth.

"You love me," she giggled as she pulled away.

"I do," I said as I let her go. "As you love me, right?"

"I suppose," she said. I glowered at her as she skipped down the steps to the car. Before she pulled out of the driveway, she stuck her head out of the car. "LOVE YOU, EDWARD!" She waved as she drove my SUV away.

"You two are so cute," Esme tittered. I rolled my eyes at my mom. I gave her the tour and she said that the furniture that she ordered would be perfect. I asked what specifically she had gotten and I was spot on: Zen/Japanese minimalist with a traditional flair. The colors would be warm and neutral with splashes of red and black. Our bedroom would be a bit more traditional: very romantic, almost like a spa resort but still maintaining with the color scheme that Esme had concocted. "Have you decided on a date for your wedding? I'd like to send out invites, Edward."

"Memorial day weekend," I answered.

"Perfect. Where?" she asked.

"Japanese Gardens in Portland," I replied. "It was the place that we went before all of the craziness. Bella and I were truly happy. We're also asking Father Gregory from Virginia Mason to marry us. We spoke with him before I discharged from the hospital and he was more than happy to do it. Bella and I aren't very religious but we do believe in some form of higher power. Father Gregory said he'd marry us but go light on the 'God' stuff."

"At least you aren't going to Vegas," Esme snickered. "I'd have to kick your ass, Edward."

"Please don't," I laughed. "Ow."

"Still get twinges?" Esme asked. I nodded, grimacing slightly. "Do you need a pill?"

"I'm good," I answered. "I only take them if I'm to the point where I'm nearly in tears. I'm so afraid of getting hooked on drugs again, Mom."

"I have feeling that you won't," Esme said as she patted my cheek. The doorbell rang. She squealed and danced to the door. She ushered the delivery men into the house, pointing them to different rooms with tons of expensive furniture. The living room was the first to be set up. Once it was, I collapsed onto the couch. _Comfy. _ I was exhausted from the work I had done today. _I signed papers and walked up some stairs. God, I'm such a fucking mess. _"Edward, you're looking pale, sweetie."

"Mom, I'm naturally pale," I said dryly.

"Smart ass. More so than usual. Are you okay?"

"Just tired, Mom," I sighed. "This was the most I've done in nearly six weeks. I'm spent."

"They're almost done. Then I'll drive you home. I won't need you tomorrow if you just give me a spare set of keys."

"No, I'll come," I smiled. "I need to be here for the set up of the phone, cable and internet."

"Edward, don't tax yourself unnecessarily. You're still healing. Stay home. Work on your schoolwork. Sleep. Do your breathing exercises. Cuddle with Bella," she chided. "Ten minutes, tops."

"Okay," I conceded. I was too exhausted to fight her. I sat back on the couch, closing my eyes. I did some deep breathing, ignoring the nagging sting in my chest. It was just my body healing as I slowly increased my lung capacity.

I don't know how long I sat on that couch but I felt my mom's fingers brush through my hair. "Wake up, my sweet boy," she crooned.

"What?" I asked gruffly, rubbing my face. "How long was I out?"

"Nearly an hour. I didn't have the heart to wake you until you moved your head to an unnatural position," Esme smiled crookedly. "Let's get you home before you collapse on the couch."

"Right," I said as I dragged my body off the sofa. I locked up my home and followed my mom to her Mercedes. She drove me back to my apartment after picking up some dinner for us. We ate quietly, planning some things for the wedding. I didn't want to make anything solid without Bella's input. But, we jotted down some ideas over dinner that I would present to Bella for approval. Once the food was put away, Esme left and I did some homework before crawling into the tiny queen-sized bed in the apartment. I flipped through some channels, not really paying attention. I idly played with my nasty scar across my abdomen, willing the nerve endings to reconnect. It was weird that I could see my hand glide over my body but not really feel it.

"Edward? Are you home?" Bella called.

"Bedroom," I yelled back. She came into the bedroom and crawled onto the bed. She put her head on my shoulder. "What's up?"

"Alice."

"What did the Midget do?"

"She's turning our wedding into a fiasco," Bella grumbled.

"Bella, it's OUR wedding," I replied. "No fiasco is allowed."

"That's what I said. I told her that she can have a fiasco for her own wedding."

"Hmmm, I have a little tidbit of information that you can use as a bargaining chip, love," I said, grinning wickedly at her.

"What?"

"A certain history professor and Midget are already married…" I said with a devious smile.

"Bitch is going DOWN!" Bella laughed maniacally.

**A/N: Up next will be the wedding, kids. As I said before, I breezed over Edward's recovery. Why should I make the poor man suffer anymore than he's already suffered. Anyhow, I'm guessing that the wedding will be the final REAL chapter of this story. There will be an epilogue, too, to tie up loose ends. (Will Bella and Edward be able to have children? What will happen with Dr. Carter and Esme? To Carlisle? Will Edward get his doctorate in Psychology? We shall see…) If you want to see pics of Bella and Edward's new home, temporary apartment and Edward's new car, check out my blog. Also, if you want to have some fun with an awesome bunch of ladies, check out my facebook group. Linky in my profile along with the link to my blog. Leave me some! **


	28. Chapter 28

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: all of Eric Whitacre's music on my iPod (man is GENIUS!), a messy apartment because my landlord decided to choose the middle of the winter to do a random fire inspection in the storerooms, and cramps (TMI, I know).**_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

_**This is it, folks. The FINAL chapter…it's been a long journey, tumultuous, exciting and nerve-wracking. I'm really sad to say that it's the last chapter. And there will not be a sequel. Maybe futuretakes, but no sequel. We have this chapter and then the epilogue. See you at the end, kids. **_

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Wedding Bells and Graduation Caps**

"Where are you going again?" I asked.

"Final fitting for my dress, Whip. Alice is insistent on making it perfect. Thank you, by the way, for the little tidbit of information about her being married. It made controlling her and reining her in for our wedding very easy. She hasn't pushed at all since I ambushed her," Bella giggled. "How did you know?"

"I heard them talking while I was 'sleeping' in the hospital," I smirked. "I wonder why they kept it a secret?"

"Jasper's parents don't approve of Alice. She's too…um, loose," Bella explained. "They wanted Jasper to marry some uptight Texas virgin who likes missionary with the lights off."

"Um, have they met their son? Jasper is quite the hornball," I snickered.

"He and Alice are really into some kinky shit," Bella sighed. "BDSM, anal, fire play…weird stuff."

"Don't knock anal, Bella. It's intense," I said with a waggle of my brows. Her mouth dropped as she pointed to me. "A few times. During my dark era." That's what we called my time where I sold myself to get drugs. Bella's dark era was after she was raped.

"You used a condom, right?"

"Bella, you're the only woman I've been with, _without_ a condom," I reiterated. "But, it's way intimate. Too intimate for what I did."

"You were desperate, Whip," Bella frowned. "I get that. Hell, I sold my car, clothes and was this close to selling my body for my next fix. Anyhow, we're past that. Back to anal…can we try it?"

"We'll have to work up to it since you're an anal virgin," I smirked. "But, fuck yeah."

Bella blushed and she kissed deeply, hugging her arms around my neck. Then her cinnamon eyes took on a wicked gleam. "What else did you hear?" Bella squeaked.

"That's the only piece of juicy gossip I heard," I said, a crooked smile playing on my face.

"Why do I not believe you?" Bella asked dryly. I winked at her which garnered a dramatic eye roll. "I'm going. Finish your paper for adolescent psychology, Whip or I will kick your ass. Maybe I'll borrow Jasper flogger."

"Yes, dear," I said flatly. _Smack!_ "Such abuse. At least you whacked my head. You messed up my hair."

"Edward, your hair is always messed up. It's like you stuck your finger in an electric socket," she giggled. "Later, Whip. Love you."

"Love you, too, Mrs. Cullen," I snickered. She groaned as she ran out of our kitchen. I chuckled as I continued writing my adolescent psychology paper. I had an hour before I needed to meet the guys at a recommended suit maker by Alice for our attire for the wedding. We were wearing light gray suits with vests and white shirts. However, on our feet, we were going to wear purple or burgundy Converse shoes. Our wedding was going to be a light-hearted, fun affair. No stuffiness. I knew that Bella's dress was going to be slinky and sexy. So where the bridesmaid's dresses.

"Knock, knock, Cullen," came Jasper's voice.

"Hey, Jas," I smiled. "I have my papers for my two classes. Can you deliver them for me?"

"Sure thing, Whip," he said as he took the envelopes with my papers. I would have emailed them but I needed to provide documentation with my papers for my findings. The files were too big to email. I contacted the professors and asked if a friend could drop them off. The readily agreed. "How's the psychology paper?"

"Almost done. Just doing a final read-through and then I'm submitting it," I smiled. "This semester sucked. Having to take all of my classes via correspondence was not a good option. I should have just taken the semester off, but I was too stubborn to see it."

"At least you're taking off the summer, right?" Jasper asked.

"Um…" I hedged. "No. My only vacation is the three weeks for my honeymoon. Then, back to school and work."

"Edward, you don't have to work. Your grandfather left you a ton of money. Just focus on school," Jasper said.

"I know I don't, but I feel like I have to," I shrugged. "I've been so lazy when it has come to my sketches. I tattooed Leah here at the house, but it certainly wasn't my best work."

"Dude, cut yourself some slack. You got shot in the chest. Your left side is significantly weaker than your right, now. You're building your strength up. And Leah's tattoo? That was amazing. Such a beautiful angel."

"Thank you, Jasper," I said humbly.

"Honestly, Edward. You need to take time for yourself. I'm certain that Emmett will let you work one day a week just keep your chops up, but cut back on your hours. You're going to get to the point in your education where you may need to do clinical hours and an internship. I've seen your transcript, Edward. You're technically in your 'third' year of university and you're just finishing your third term."

"I overloaded on my classes this semester. I took all of the online classes I could," I shrugged.

"And you maintained a perfect GPA," Jasper breathed out. "You're a machine, Edward."

"No. Just bored," I said sheepishly. "We'll see if that perfect GPA stays intact once my final projects are turned in."

"Whatever, Edward," Jasper snorted. "Finish your editing and then we gots to go. Emmett is meeting us at this place for our suits. He only has an hour."

"Done," I said as I made the final change. "Let me just send it and we. Are. Good. Let's boogie. Oh, and I'm driving."

"Figured as much. Ever since you got the clearance to drive, you've been tooling around in your pretty new SUV," Jasper guffawed. I flipped him off and we walked to my Audi SUV. Using Bertha, my GPS, we drove to Volterra, a posh suit maker that was recommended by Alice. She was so wrapped in creating Bella's dress that she didn't have time to do our suits. As it turned out, the owner, Caius, was a relative of Marcus who gave Emmett and Bella their start in the tattooing business. He was a bit of a creepy fucker, but based off the suits we purchased from him, he could sew like none other. He was even better than Alice. _But you won't say that to her face…You'd lose your balls. I'm rather attached, thanks. _

While we were getting fitted for our suits, Emmett brought up my bachelor party. I flat out refused it. I didn't need one night of debauchery to celebrate my last night of 'freedom.' It's not like I could drink. I hadn't smoked since December. I don't want some skanky ass stripper shaking her fake tits in my face. All I wanted was my Bella. I knew that Bella also denied the girls' request of a bachelorette party. Emmett was deflated. I told him that he can have a bachelor party when _he_ got married. That caused him to smile and he hugged me fiercely.

_Ow, my chest…take it easy on the gimp, McCarty. _

When I got home from getting my suit, I noticed Bella's car in the garage. Inside of the house, I snuck up behind her as she was cooking dinner. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I kissed her soft, fragrant neck. She jumped at first then melted into my embrace. "How was suit shopping?"

"Fine," I said as I continued kissing her neck. "How was your dress fitting?"

"Fine," she giggled as she turned in my arms. "The dress is hot, Edward. I seriously hope that your pants are loose. You're going to sporting a chubby."

"Bella, you breathe on me, lately and I'm hard. That's what happens when you go nearly five and half months without sex," I said flatly. I thrust my hips against hers to punctuate my point. "I miss you, baby. I miss feeling you. I miss being inside of you, Bella. Can't we just make love once? For old times sake?"

"Edward, as much as I want to throw you down onto the kitchen floor and ride you like there's no tomorrow, we've gone this long without sex before. It'll make our wedding night more special. It'll be our first time as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Since December…since James." Bella eyes closed and a few tears slipped down her cheeks. I held her closely as she placed her head on my chest, above my heart. "I died a thousand deaths when I got that phone call, Edward. I want nothing more than to have you bury yourself in me to the hilt but I'm holding firm on this. Our wedding night. Can you wait two more weeks?" She squeezed her arms around my waist. I leaned down, kissing her hair.

"I'll be taking many cold showers, but I think I can," I said petulantly.

"Hell, I've gone through three vibrators," she pouted. "They are a sad approximation of the perfection that is your tongue, your fingers and your cock."

"Yeah, you can't say shit like that," I grumbled as I distanced myself from her. "I don't have the strength to throw you over my shoulder and drag you upstairs to our nice, comfy bed and make love to you all night long. I've got a few months before that…"

"You're filling out, though, Edward," she said as she gripped my bicep.

"I'm still a skinny ass mother fucker," I griped. "All of that work I did prior to fucktard galore, gone. And your tattoo is all sorts of a fucked up."

"Well, if you want, I have my kit with me, I can attempt to fix it tonight," Bella blushed. "That way, it can be healed by the time we go to the Virgin Islands for our honeymoon. You'll look all sexy showing off your new ink."

"If you think I'm taking off my shirt in the tropics, you've got another thing coming, Ms. Swan. I'll blind people with my overall pastiness. Plus my scar? Fuck, kids will be screaming bloody murder at that thing," I grumbled.

"I'll cover it with ink," Bella smirked. "Do you trust me?"

"Implicitly, Bella," I smiled. "After dinner?"

"Got it, Whip," she winked. "Stir fry with rice and egg rolls."

"God, I'm so going to be huge with your cooking, Bella," I groaned.

"Nah. You're just naturally slender, Edward," she said as she squeezed my love handles. I scowled at her before I darted up the stairs to change into something more comfortable. Changing into some workout pants, I settled down at the kitchen table to complete my final exam for my ethics class. Bella hummed quietly to the iPod as she cooked our dinner. I submitted my final exam and went to help my fiancée with the salad. Ever since my 'incident,' Bella has been on a health food kick. She also quit smoking, claiming that if I was forced to quit, she'd suffer with me. It's definitely nice to walk into a house and not have it reek of smoke. We never did smoke inside, but it was in our clothes and hair. It just permeated into the mansion.

"Dinner's ready, Whip," Bella said as she put the stir fry into a bowl. I grabbed a few plates, chopsticks and the bowl of rice. I carried them to the kitchen table and we dug into our meal. _Fuck, my girl is the best cook. Ever. _"You do the dishes, Mr. Cullen. I cooked. Plus, I need to set up my kit. I'll be in the basement."

"Cool," I smirked. She kissed my lips softly before she went to the foyer to get her kit. I made quick work of the dishes, placing them into the dishwasher. Starting the dishwasher, I left the kitchen and went into the basement. Bella had a table set up near the game room where she could get the best light from the pool table.

"Take off your shirt, Whip," Bella said as she gave me a beaming smile. I blushed. She had only see my scar a handful of times and each time she was slightly freaked out by it. It was still pretty red and raised. _Having nearly a hundred staples in your chest kind leaves a mark, Cullen. _ I removed my shirt and crossed my hands over my chest, trying in vain to hide the nastiness on my torso. "Edward, I need to see my palette."

"My scar…" I mumbled. "You kind of freak out when you see it."

She blushed and dropped her gaze. "Edward, it's a reminder that I almost you lost you. Putting this tattoo on you is for you, in the fact that I need to repair the damage to the original but also to help me get over my aversion to seeing your scar, baby. I love you. So much. I don't want to be reminded each time we make love of how close I was to losing you." She stood up and took my wrists in her hands. She forced my hands down to gaze at my ribcage. Her fingers glided down my sternum until she reached to about halfway between my left nipple and my waist, where the scar ended. She leaned forward and kissed my skin. She hummed. "Did you know that your skin is slightly cooler above the scar?"

"No," I choked out. She looked up at me, continuing to press soft angel kisses to my chest. "You're driving me wild, Bella."

She pulled away and looked down at my workout pants, which were tented from my massive erection. "I can tell, Whip," she teased, cupping my arousal. "Maybe I'll be nice after I tat you up by giving you a blowjob."

"A born romantic, Bella."

"I know," she winked. "On your side, my dear."

I lay down on table, cushioning my head with my hands while Bella prepped my skin for my new ink. I closed my eyes and let Bella create her masterpiece on my flesh. She worked on me for nearly four hours. It was midnight by the time she finished my tattoo. My arms were cramped and my muscles along my ribcage were screaming at me. "I hope you like it, Edward," she murmured as she walked me to the bathroom.

I looked up into the mirror and was amazed at what I saw. My entire left side was covered in tribal tattoos. The most prominent tattoo was one of a heart that melded green and brown together. It was previously the eye in the guitar. Surrounding it was a tribal guitar, a new lion and music note that connected to the rest of my ink. Tears sprang into my eyes. "Bella," I rasped.

"You hate it," she moaned.

"No, baby," I said as I turned to her. "It is the best tattoo ever. It's perfect. What does each part mean?"

"Well, the heart of the largest piece was the eye of your original guitar tattoo," Bella explained. "Moving further down, I gave you a smaller guitar to represent your musical talent along with the musical note. Finally, the lion represents your courage and strength to overcome…" A few tears slipped out as she sobbed quietly. "Overcome what James did to you. It also represents your strength to not fall back onto your demons of drugs and alcohol."

"Bella, it'll take a lot more than one bullet from an asstard like James to make me kick the bucket," I snickered. "But, I couldn't have done it without you, my mom and our friends, Bella. Trust me when I say there were days that I wanted to take more than the prescribed dose of my pain medication but I pictured you when that temptation presented itself. You were my conscience."

"Just like your mine, Whip," she smirked. "Now about that blowjob?"

"As much as I want to feel your soft, pillow-like lips around my cock, I don't think I could enjoy it, love," I snickered. "Too sore." She smiled. "You so planned that, didn't you?" Bella nodded. "Tease."

"You love me," she giggled.

"Sure. You keep telling yourself that, Mrs. Cullen."

xx EC: AWIP xx

"Do you have any questions, Edward? Bella?" Father Gregory asked. We were standing in the Zen garden of the Japanese Gardens in Portland. It was our rehearsal for our wedding.

"No, Father," we both answered, laughing quietly.

"Okay. Now, I'll see both of you here at four. I'll be the one wearing the collar," he snickered. "And the Black Converse. Thank you, Edward."

"You gotta go with the theme, Father," I quipped. "Dress for comfort, man."

"I'll wear them with pride," he chuckled. "I can see why Bella loves you, Edward. You're so…cool."

"Nah, I love him because he's pretty, Father Gregory," Bella snorted. She ruffled my hair and then pinched my cheeks. "So adorable."

"So nauseating," Emmett grumbled from his spot as best man. "You two were so much easier to be around when you hated each other. I didn't feel like I had to barf."

"Emmett McCarty, behave!" Rose barked. Emmett ducked his head sheepishly. "Sorry, Father. He was raised by bears, I swear."

"He's actually quite tame," Father Gregory bellowed. "I've had worse 'Best Men.'"

"Wait until he's drunk, Father," Jasper said as he patted Emmett's back. Emmett shrugged and then nodded sagely.

"Too much ceremonial wine, Mr. McCarty?" Father Gregory smiled. "I've been known to partake. Anyhow, four. Sharp."

"Thank you, Father Gregory," Bella said as she hugged him. "You have no idea how much this means to us."

"Bella, I knew your love for your Edward was special when you came into my chapel at Virginia Mason. I'm honored that you contacted me to perform your ceremony. Plus, it's in my favorite locations in the Pacific Northwest: the Japanese Gardens," he mused.

"Come, Father," Esme said with a warm smile. "Let's drive you back to the hotel before we head to the restaurant. Unless you'd like to join us?"

"No, Esme. Thank you," Father Gregory replied kindly. "I'm tired from the drive from Seattle. I'll just head back to the hotel. I appreciate the ride, though."

"Not a problem, Father," Esme said as she, along with John, headed to their car.

"Let's get some good food. I'm a growing boy," Emmett snickered. "Where's the rehearsal dinner?"

"Southpark Bar and Grill," Bella answered.

"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny. You bastards!" Garrett wailed as he held our godson, Masen.

"Not that Southpark, asstard," I scowled. "Don't corrupt my nephew."

"Tell him, Edward. Kick his ass," Kate laughed. "Dr. I-Don't-Get-Up-While-My-Son-Is-Crying… You know, I would like some sleep, moron. You can get up when you hear him whimper."

"Yes, dear," Garrett smiled sweetly. His smile hid his true meaning: 'I don't fucking think so.' Kate rolled her eyes and we all clambered down to our cars.

At the restaurant, we were meeting a few people plus our wedding party that was going to be in attendance. My best man was Emmett, who also was acting as Bella's escort down the aisle, giving her away. Bella's maid of honor was Alice. Jasper and Rose filled out our wedding party as attendants. Masen, our godson, was acting as flower baby/ring bearer. Kate was walking him down the aisle in his stroller. He's so stinking cute for a two month old.

Our wedding is small. Only roughly fifty people. We invited Barney, plus several other of the police officers that helped with the situation with James, plus their significant others. I invited my advisor and a few of my classmates. Bella invited Angela and Leah, the nurse from Virginia Mason. We also invite a few people from Legacy, as well.

At the rehearsal dinner, we all pile into the section of the restaurant. John, Dr. Carter, is there with my mom. They have gotten cozy since December. Their relationship progressed quickly once Carlisle agreed to end his marriage to her. He knows that I'm getting married this weekend. He tried to get invited, but his actions from ten years ago clearly dictated his disinterest in my life. Yes, he tried to apologize but too little, too late.

"Can we order, please? My stomach is digesting itself," Emmett bellowed.

"You really were raised by bears," Rose snickered. "No sense of decorum, Emmett. God."

"I'm hungry, too," Bella said. "But, I'm not going to be a buffoon announcing it to the entire restaurant. Let's eat."

We settle into our seats and place our order. My mom shares stories of when I was a kid and my incessant clumsiness. Emmett shared stories about Bella's first tattoos. It was an evening of embarrassment for both of us, but Bella seemed withdrawn. After dessert, Bella and I thank everyone for their support and distribute the attendants' gifts. Bella got the bridesmaids and Kate some jewelry to wear with their dresses. I presented each of my groomsmen with a framed sketch of a personalized tattoo that I will put on them after the wedding. I already tattooed Garrett after Masen was born with a portrait of his newborn son in the arms of his wife on his forearm. I was working on the final sketch for him and Kate. It's still in the rough stages but Kate saw the tattoo.

Bella has withdrawn further after we finish distributing our gifts. Alice skipped over to us and grabbed Bella's arm. "Come on, Bells. You have sleep with me tonight," she chirped.

"No," Bella said firmly. Tears are filling in her eyes. "It's a stupid tradition, Alice. I need him."

"Bella, it may be a stupid tradition, but it's a tradition," Alice whined. "Let's go."

"Alice, stop," I said firmly. "We're going to head back to the Paramount. Bella and I have to talk. If she decides to stay with me, then fine. If not, I'll come to your room and you guys can stay in the suite, okay?"

Alice harrumphed and stomped away. Bella and I said our hasty goodbyes before leaving the restaurant. Bella was leaning on me heavily as we walked back to the hotel. Riding up the elevator to the penthouse, we get to our suite. I unlocked the door and guide Bella to the bed. "Talk to me, beautiful," I said as I kneeled before her.

"Tomorrow is our wedding day. I should be happy," she sniffled, tears falling down her cheeks. "But, I don't have a family, like you, to share it with. As much as I appreciate Emmett walking me down the aisle, it's not the same as having my father do it. Or seeing my mom help me put on my wedding dress. Esme has stepped in as a surrogate, but she's _your mom_. Not mine." As she spoke, her tears turn into full sobs. "I'm a fucking orphan, Edward."

"Bella," I soothed as I pulled her into my arms. Her sobs are heartbreaking. She clutches at my shirt. "Love, our family is different. It's not bound by blood. Our family is so special. We are bound by love, friendships, tattoos, and each other. I know that it sucks that you don't have your mom or dad to be here with you. If I could make it all better; snap my fingers to make us have the fairy tale wedding, I would. Is this why you were so detached during the rehearsal dinner?"

She nodded, burrowing closer to my body. I wrapped my arms around her. "I can't be away from you, Edward. You're my family. I need you tonight. I need to feel your arms around me. Don't make me sleep with Alice. She kicks," Bella wailed.

"I'm yours, love. I'm not going anywhere," I said.

"Promise?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"For as long as we both shall live, Bella," I murmured. "Why don't you take a bath and I'll call Alice, okay?"

"Join me once you're off the phone?" Bella whispered. I nodded and kissed her lips. She heaved her body off the bed and grabbed her toiletry bag from our suitcase. She gave me a watery smile before going into the bathroom.

I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and found Alice's number. "Midget?"

"She's staying, isn't' she?" Alice snapped.

"Yes, Alice. She is. She's missing the fact that she doesn't have any blood relatives here. I'm the closest thing she has to that and you're forcing her to be away from me. We're spending the night together. If you don't like it, then tough. How would you feel if you didn't have a family when you got married?"

"I know how she feels. Jasper and I got married in Vegas," Alice growled. "My mom was none too thrilled at that notion. She ripped me a new asshole."

"But at least you have a mom to do so," I countered. "You and Jas both have your parents. Bella has no one. Deal. With. It. I'm going to take care and love my wife."

"She's not your wife, yet," Alice countered.

"Legally, no. But in my heart and mind, she's already my wife. She's my life, Alice. I'll do anything to make her happy," I whispered.

Alice breathed deeply. "If you marriage doesn't make it, then I'm holding you personally responsible, Cullen."

"We've been through hell and back, Alice. We'll make it," I said dryly. "Quit being such a control freak."

"Fine. Bella needs to be down at the spa by ten. You need to be out of the suite by eleven so we can get ready up there. Jasper will collect you tomorrow morning, okay?"

"Thank you, Alice. Good night, Midget."

"Good night, Whip. Oh and no sex," Alice snorted.

I groaned and hung up the phone. I quickly removed my clothes and padded into the bathroom. Bella was sitting in a tiny ball in the massive tub. Tears were still falling down her cheeks. I crawled into the tub and pulled her to my chest. She sobbed as she wrapped her arms around me. I didn't say anything. I just held her as she cried. Her sobs tapered off and she looked up at me. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Don't apologize, Bella. You have every right to be upset," I said as I wiped a tear from her flushed cheek. "Do you want to go to sleep?"

"No," she pouted. "I want you."

"Bella, we've gone this long without sex before," I teased lightly, but my cock was slowly raising to the occasion. "Besides, if we make love, Alice will find out and my dick is a goner."

"Crap," Bella scowled. "Can we at least cuddle? Naked?"

"Definitely," I said. She stood up and swiped a towel, wrapping it around her body. I clumsily stood up and took the towel that Bella handed to me. We hastily dried ourselves off. Bella laced her fingers with mine and dragged me to the bedroom. Pulling down the comforter, we curled up with each other. Bella wedged her leg between mine and caressed my cheeks. My hands glided up and down her back, staring into her beautiful eyes. "I love you, Bella. I'll always love you."

"I know," she said, giving me a wistful smile. "I love you more than I thought possible, Edward. I think I loved you from the moment you walked into that shop."

"Even though I fucked Angela?" I snickered. _Smack!_ "I deserved that."

"Even though you did that. I know I was rough on you at first, Edward," she muttered, putting her head on my chest, sighing as she heard my heartbeat. "But, when I saw you, I saw myself."

"What?" I asked.

"A shell of a person, not really living. Surviving in limbo. I could tell from the distant look in your eyes that you had dealt with pain that most people shouldn't have to," she said. "I saw the same look in my eyes every day, when I looked in the mirror. I was afraid of you, though. I was terrified that you would be another thing I'd have to survive. That's why I pushed you away when you played that song for me at Peppers. I couldn't let myself love you if you were going to hurt me. Then, James happened…"

"Bella," I muttered. "We've moved past this."

"You may have, but I want to you to know what I was thinking," she said. "I never told you what I was feeling when I left. I pretty much shoved Jasper and Emmett away. I just wanted to be alone. I told you to fuck off and all I wanted was to find a dealer…you get the idea. Anyhow, I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn't even realize that I was being followed."

"Baby, I…I don't want to know what happened. I saw that," I said, tears falling over my cheeks. "I saw what he did to you. I wanted to fucking kill him for touching you. Even though you did an Irish jig on my heart, no one deserves what he did to you."

"I am so sorry, Edward," she sobbed, burying her face in the crook of my neck. "I should have said it back. I should have stayed…" I held her closer to my body as she cried. "If I had stayed…I wouldn't be broken."

"You're not broken, Bella," I cooed. She shook her head no. "Is this because you can't have children? Naturally?" She nodded and another sob filled our room. "Just having you is enough for me. We'll cross that bridge about babies later. Neither one of us is ready to care for another human. When we do decide to have children, whether it be with the help of a surrogate or adoption, we will love that child no matter what. If we can't have children, then our lives together will still be filled with happiness."

"How is it that you know exactly what to say, Edward?" she whispered.

"I'm smart and shit," I snorted as I nuzzled my nose along her jaw. "Mr. Perfect GPA and all." Bella chuckled and kissed my neck. Her lips on my skin caused my body to react. I was growing hard. _No sex. We cannot make love. Not tonight. _

"I better stop," she said as she pressed one more lingering kiss on my neck, right behind my ear. "Now that I'm over my vulnerable moment, we need to remember that we're getting married tomorrow."

"Right," I choked out. "But, don't move from my arms, baby."

"Never, Whip," she said as she placed her head on my chest. "I love you."

"I love you more," I said as I kissed her forehead. She nestled closer to me and soon her breathing evened out. She grew heavy on my chest. I inhaled deeply, still feeling a slight twinge in my chest and let the sleep overcome me.

xx EC:AWIP xx

"Dude, you're wearing a hole in the carpeting. Calm the fuck down," Jasper said from his spot on his couch.

"Dude," I shot out, "I'm ready to get married. I never thought I'd get here but now that I am, I anxious to get started on the rest of my life."

"You sound like a fucking Hallmark card," Emmett bellowed.

"Go make yourself useful, fucktard. Go deliver this to Bella," I snapped, tossing a small box to him. "I don't want to hear your crap."

"Douche," Emmett grumbled as he smacked my head.

"Tool," I snickered. Emmett rolled his eyes and left the room. Jasper looked at me expectantly. "What?"

"What is Emmett delivering?"

"My wedding present to Bella," I shrugged. "It's earrings for her to wear with her dress."

"She'll shit a brick when she sees that you spent a ton of money on her," Jasper chided.

"They were my grandmother's. One of the last presents my grandfather got her before she died," I blushed. "They are the colors of the wedding, red and purple."

"Wow," Jasper smiled. "It's fate…"

"Whatever, Jas," I said dryly. I fumbled with my vest buttons as I made another pass of the room. He just laughed. About ten minutes later, Emmett came back in with a red and purple gift bag.

"I'm done being delivery boy," he said as he handed me the bag. "From Bella."

"Thanks," I said. I sat down on the bed and tore into the bag. Inside there was a cream colored card with red and purple calligraphy with my name. I smiled wistfully and opened it up.

_Dearest Edward,_

_I'm not usually one for romantic crap. The fact that I wrote that on our wedding day says something, right? Anyhow, I'm so happy that I gave you a chance and that you never gave up on me. You could have easily said 'fuck it' and moved on with your life. But, you didn't. _

_" Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end." - Unknown_

_I read that on a website when I was looking for inspiration for our vows. But, it means so much to us, Edward. You are my future, my forever. Together, we can achieve anything. We've survived many trials this past year and it is going to get better from here on out. I love you, Whip. You're my best friend and my family. My only family and I will always treasure that. Treasure you. _

_I'll see you in a bit, Mr. Cullen._

_Love always,_

_Mrs. Cullen_

"Did she write all of the pervy things she wanted to do to you?" Emmett asked. "Your face looks like it is watching all of the best porn."

"No, Emmett," I said, rolling my eyes. He reached for my card. I held it to my chest, glaring at him. I slid the card into my suit pocket and turned back to the bag. I reached inside to find a large box. Pulling it out, I opened it up. I bit my lip when I saw what was inside. On the velvet was an ornate pocket watch. It was a soft brushed nickel and in the center of the front was a emerald cabochon stone. Flipping the watch open, there was an inscription inside.

_Our love is timeless.  
>Forever.<br>I love you, Whip.  
>Your Bella<em>

A few tears slipped out of my eyes. _God, I'm such a pussy_. I gently ran my finger over the inscription before slipping the pocket watch into my vest of my suit. It was perfect. Just like her.

"Looks good, Whip," Jasper smirked.

"Yeah?" I smiled crookedly. "You knew about this?"

"I helped her find it," Jasper answered.

"Why not me?" Emmett pouted.

"Because you would have gotten me summer sausage," I snorted.

"That shit is awesome," Emmett growled. "That's what I want on my wedding day."

"Anyhow," Jasper continued. "I initially saw it in an antique shop on my way home from work. I told her about it and she all but begged me to take her. We went and she bought it, proclaiming that it was perfect for you."

"It is," I smiled. "She had it inscribed."

"That I had nothing to do with," Jasper said as he clapped my shoulder. "We probably should get going. Ben, Angela's boyfriend…"

"The snoring monster from Hades," I griped.

"Ah, yes, you met him in rehab," Jasper snickered. "Anyhow…Ben is our photographer and we need to take some photos. Let's go, bitches."

We all grabbed our sunglasses and keys, walking to the lobby. The hotel arranged for a shuttle service to the ceremony site. Bella and the bridesmaids were going to use a limo. About fifteen minutes after we got into the shuttle, we were taking pictures all around the Japanese Gardens. As we were taking pictures, our guests started to arrive. The limo pulled up, too. My heart stammered against my ribs. Bella was here.

"Hold up, Casanova," Emmett snickered as he held me back. "Not yet. Ten minutes."

"Damn it," I growled. "Can't we move it forward ten minutes?"

"No, Whip," Emmett said. "I'm going to check on the girls. You stay. Good boy." He patted my head. I growled at him like an angry pit bull. "Retract the claws, Edward. You'll see her soon." He smiled as he sauntered away. Jasper came up to me and dragged me to the altar. Ben was snapping pictures left and right of our guests. Father Gregory was standing at the altar, giving me a smile.

"You ready, Edward?" he asked kindly.

"Like you wouldn't believe, Father Gregory," I hissed.

"Soon, son," he said as he clapped my shoulder. The string quartet began playing quietly. It was a local group that specialized in more recent arrangements of traditional songs. It had a rock edge. Rose found out their information and set us up with them. I actually spoke with them and worked together with them to rearrange my song for Bella. The song was what she was processing down the aisle to me. Soon, Garrett flagged us down. It was time.

_Deep breaths, asshole. Don't pass out. _

The string quartet easily transitioned to a funky version of 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring.' Kate strode down the aisle with Masen in his stroller. Attached to his hand was a small pillow with two fake rings. Hanging off the end of the stroller was a basket of flowers. Kate smirked as she sat down next down to Dr. Carter who was going to be with my mom. Jasper escorted my mom to her seat before standing behind me. "Breathe, Edward. You look so nervous."

"Anxious," I whispered back. Jasper nodded and scooted back.

Directing my attention back to the aisle. Rose was slowly walking up to the altar. She was wearing a slinky plum halter dress. In her hands was a plum and red bouquet. Her hair was curled and she looked like 1940s Vargas girl. She gave me a sly smile as she took her spot on the altar. Her eyes told me everything. _Bella is hot. Be prepared, Cullen. _

I turned back to the aisle. Alice was dancing down to the altar. Her hair was spiked to perfection. She wore the same dress as Rose except her dress was knee length. Rose's was floor length. On her feet were the brightest red shoes but it fit with her personality. Alice winked as she took her spot opposite of me.

The music changed to our song. I looked back and saw her. _Fuck. Me. _ She was perfection and sex personified, in an ivory dress. I looked at every inch of her. Her hair was curled similarly to Rose's. She had a red flower pinned above her left ear. She wore my earrings, which glistened in the late afternoon sun. Her dress was ivory satin halter dress that skimmed her body like a second skin. As she walked toward me, I saw her red peep toe pumps. She carried a larger version of the bridesmaid bouquet. Her cinnamon eyes sought me out. Once she captured my gaze, she smiled seductively. Her makeup was darker than usual but still beautiful. It made her glow from within.

Emmett was beaming with pride as he walked her closer to the altar. They stood there for a few moments as the quartet finished the song. It ended and our friends sat down.

"Welcome, everyone," Father Gregory said quietly, but firmly. "We are gathered here today to join the marriage of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. Who gives this woman to this man?"

"I'm representing all of our friends and family, so all of us," Emmett said. Bella looked at him, tears gathering in her eyes. "Bella has no blood relation and we're all her family. We love you, Bells." He pulled into a hug and kissed her forehead. "We may not be family by blood, but we are your family."

"Thank you, Em," she sniffled. He placed Bella's hand in mine and stood behind me. "Hi."

"Hi," I answered. "You look exquisite, Bella."

"You too, Whip," she smirked.

Father Gregory cleared his throat. We both blushed and turned to him. "I met Bella on Christmas Eve," he began. "She was crying in my chapel at Virginia Mason. Her fiancée had been shot and was fighting for his life. Bella said that she wasn't religious but she needed someplace to stay. I said that she was more than welcome to stay in my chapel as long as she needed. But before that, I prayed for her fiancée. For Edward. Seeing Bella sobbing and crying broke my heart. I didn't want her to feel the pain of losing someone she loved. I prayed for Edward's recovery. I prayed for Bella's happiness. I prayed for their happy ending.

"Weeks passed. Bella came to speak with me on a daily basis while Edward was in a medically induced coma. She told me everything about their relationship. About her past. About your past. We cried together. Then, once Edward woke up, the three of us began talking. The love I felt from both of you was overwhelming. Your friendship is strong and that will make your marriage even stronger. I was so honored when you asked me to perform you ceremony. I am marrying two of my friends to each other and I couldn't be happier. Now, Edward and Bella have prepared their own vows. Bella, you're first."

"Crap," she muttered. That got a few chuckles from the crowd. "Okay, Edward…when we first met, things were not all lovey-dovey. We actually hated each other. But, since then, you've grown on me. Like a fungus."

"Thanks, Bella," I said dryly. "So romantic…it is our wedding day."

"Shut it," she said. "Anyhow, as we got to know each other, I realized why we were so against each other when we first met. We were the same person. We talked about this last night and I think you understand why I was the way I was toward you. Since then, you've been nothing but loving, supportive and caring. You saved me, Edward. In every way that a person could be saved. You brought me back to the light when I was stumbling in the darkness. You make me laugh. You challenge my thinking. You make me want to be a better person, to fulfill my dreams. You've helped me actually with some of those dreams. Thank you.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you are my best friend. You are the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the first and last person to show me what true love is. I never thought I'd get it and here, I find it with you. I love you, Edward. Forever." She sniffled and took out a kleenex from her dress, dabbing her face. A few stray tears still fell down her cheeks. I gently wiped them away. "Beat that, Cullen."

"Heh, not likely," I snickered. "You're more verbose than I am."

"I have no idea what that means," she giggled.

"Wordy," I answered. "Anyhow, I should just really say 'ditto' but I'm certain that would not the sweeping romantic gesture that everyone is hoping for." _ Smack!_ "Emmett! That's my bad side. Careful."

"Sorry, Edward," Emmett said sheepishly.

"Bella," I began, lacing my fingers with hers, tracing my thumb over her engagement ring. "Our beginning of our relationship was rocky. However, despite the turmoil, we fell in love with each other. I know that everyone dreams of the day that they would get married. I never imagined myself here: standing at an altar, holding the hands of the woman I loved more than my own life.

"You are my best friend, Bella. You are my family. I can't wait to share it all with you. I want to grow old with you, care for you, protect you, be with you always. I promise you that I will always love, cherish and honor you. Before you, I never believed in soul mates but I know that you're mine. My soul mate. My other half. I feel complete when I'm with you, love. I promise. I promise you everything that I have to offer. If I don't have it, I'll try my damndest to get it for you. Always, Bella. I love you."

Bella was crying again, wiping at her face with her handkerchief. Even Father Gregory was watery eyed. He quickly gathered himself. "Beautiful," he muttered. "Do you have the rings?"

"Sure do, Pops," Emmett said. Father Gregory gave him a pointed look. "Sorry, Father." He reached into his pocket and produced the small velvet bag with our rings. Father Gregory placed them on his bible and said a quiet prayer, blessing the rings.

"Edward, please take this ring and place it on Bella's left ring finger," he murmured, handing me Bella's wedding band. It was an Edwardian eternity band that matched her engagement ring perfectly. It was new, since the matching band for her ring was on my grandmother. "Repeat after me, Edward."

"With this ring, I thee wed," I murmured, sliding the ring over her finger. "To have and to hold. To love and to cherish. In sickness and in health. In good times and in bad. All of the days of my life, I will honor and adore you." I raised her hand to my lips, kissing her newly adorned finger. "Mrs. Cullen." She giggled, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Bella, your turn," Father Gregory urged.

Bella picked up the platinum band that had a scroll design, similar to hers. She looked up at me, repeating Father Gregory's words, "With this ring, I thee wed. To have and to hold. To love and to cherish. In sickness and in health. In good times and in bad. All of the days of my life, I will honor and adore you." She pushed the ring over my knuckle and kissed it like I had done to hers.

"It was with a happy heart that I announce to you Mr. and Mrs. Edward and Isabella Cullen," Father Gregory said loudly. "You may kiss the bride."

Bella squealed as I took her face in my hands. Staring into her beautiful brown eyes, I leaned down slowly, wanting to treasure the moment: the first time kissing my wife. Gently, I pressed my lips to hers. I felt a zing of energy flow through our lips as we moved in concert. Bella's tongue grazed my bottom lip. I sucked it into my mouth, tangling my own tongue with hers. Her fingers threaded into my hair as she moved closer to me. My hands glided down the bare skin of her back and held her to my body. With three more chaste kisses, I pulled my face away, brushing my lips along her forehead. "I love you, Bella."

She kissed my chin three times, "I love you, too." We turned to our friend…no, _our family_, and smiled. They applauded as we scurried down the aisle to a tiny gazebo so we could have a few moments to ourselves. Once there, we made out like two horny teenagers. Bella's hands were tangled in my hair while I palmed her perfect ass. "We're married, Edward. I'm your wife."

"I know, baby," I growled against her neck, licking her 'E.' "You're mine, Bella. You know that?"

"Yours, Edward," she said as she gazed at me. "Forever. I'll love you forever. Fuck, I want you." She reached between us and squeezed my cock. "You want me, too."

"Always, Bella," I said as I nipped at her earlobe.

"Edward! Bella! We need you for pictures!" Alice called.

"There goes my boner," I groaned, laying my head on her shoulder. "I can't wait until we're in the Virgin Islands, Bella. Three weeks away from Alice. I love her like a sister, but fuck. I want to strangle her sometimes."

"Me, too, Whip," she answered. "Do I look like I got the shit kissed out of me?"

"A bit," I said as I adjusted her lipstick. "Am I covered in your lipstick?"

"A bit," she giggled as she wiped my face. "Let's go get our picture taken and have our reception and then…"

"Make love as husband and wife," I crooned.

"I was going to say fuck like bunnies," Bella snorted. "But that works."

"Such a romantic, Bella," I said as I kissed her three times. It was our new thing after my time in the hospital. _I love you. _In physical form. She replied by kissing me back three times and we headed back to our family.

Pictures seemed to drag on forever. My face hurt from smiling so much but it was worth it. It meant more time of me holding my wife. Once the sun dipped behind the mountains, it got chilly. I put my jacket onto Bella. She saw her present on my vest. "Did you like it, Edward?"

"I loved it, Bella," I said. "It was perfect."

"The gem matches your eyes," she said as she ran her finger over the stone. "You ready to dance and eat some mediocre food?"

"Definitely, beautiful," I said as I kissed her forehead. The shuttle drove everyone back to the hotel. We were having our reception in a small ballroom in the hotel. The ballroom was elegantly decorated with red and purple drapes all around the room. The tables were long, covered in a deep purple table cloth with a red table runner. The flowers glowed from all of the candles lit around the room. The smell of sandalwood and roses filled our nostrils. We didn't have a receiving line. Instead, we decided to go around the tables after the meal was served.

The reception was fun and romantic. Our guests insisted on doing the glass tapping thing where we had to kiss. We did so, each time, kissing our mouths together three times. _I love you._ After dinner, we walked to the center of the dance floor. We cut the cake and fed each other the hazelnut deliciousness. Bella swiped some frosting on my nose with a wicked smirk on her face. I just gave her an Eskimo kiss to spread some frosting onto her face. She squealed and darted away. The cake was rolled into the kitchen while we took our spot in the center of the dance floor for our first dance.

The strains of Christina Perri filled the room. Normally, Bella and I wouldn't have gone with something so mainstream, but the words of the song, "A Thousand Years" really struck home with us. I guided Bella in a simple waltz. "This is the first time we've dance together, Bella," I noted.

"It is," she smiled. "You're really good. I feel like I'm dancing with Fred Astaire."

I spun her expertly before dipping her, kissing her neck. She laughed as I righted her. I pressed her hand to my chest, holding it above my heart. She sighed, pressing her cheek to my shoulder. "I'm so happy, Bella," I said into her hair.

"Me too, Edward," she said, the smile evident in her voice. "Thank you for not giving up. On me. On us. On everything."

"Thank you for giving me a chance, love," I said as I cupped her face, kissing her lips. Once. Twice. Three times. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said against my mouth. One more dip and the song was over. The next dance was the mother/son dance. I walked Bella to our seats. Offering my arm to my mom, we headed to the center of the dance floor. "A Song for Mama" by Boyz II Men came through the speakers. My mom and I swayed to the music. She was crying softly.

"Why are you crying, Mom?"

"My baby boy is all grown up," she muttered. "I missed it all because of…"

"Mom, I'm happy. You should be too. The time from when I was kicked out to now is forgotten. I've moved past my demons and now, I'm ready to live my life. Don't dwell on the past, please?"

"Okay," she said. "You look so handsome, Edward. I even like the shoes."

"Yeah? We needed to make our wedding fun. Besides, I hate dress shoes," I said, wrinkling my nose.

"How are you addressing the father/daughter dance, Edward?" Esme asked.

"Bella's going to dance with Father Gregory," I answered. "He's been there for her in more ways than we can acknowledge. They've become great friends. If I'm not available, she turns to him. It'll be interesting to watch." Our song ended and we headed off the dance floor. Bella stood up, giving us a smile and walked to Father Gregory. His eyes widened as she offered him her hand. Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" wafted through the ballroom. Father Gregory laughed and followed her out to the dance floor. They bopped around to the tune. It was funny to see the stuffy priest dance happily to Van Morrison.

The song ended and Bella hugged Father Gregory. She whispered something to him. He smiled broadly and kissed her cheek. He sat back down next to Garrett. Bella glided over to me and laced her fingers through mine. "What did you say to Father Gregory?"

"That he was a good dancer. And that I appreciated his friendship and guidance," Bella answered. "Too bad he's a priest. He could have given you a run for your money, Cullen."

"Hey now," I chided.

"Kidding, Edward," she said as she sidled up to me.

The DJ called everyone out to the dance floor and the hours of dancing commenced. Surprisingly, Bella was an excellent dancer. She was quite seductive and by the end of the night, my cock was straining in my pants. Around midnight, the DJ announced it was the last dance. It was a slow song, "The Way You Look Tonight," by Eric Clapton. Pulling Bella into my arms, I buried my nose in her hair as we swayed languidly to the music. The song ended and we started packing up to head up to our room. Esme and Alice shooed us out of the ballroom.

We didn't need to be told twice. We darted up to the penthouse suite. I desperately wanted to carry Bella over the threshold but I still wasn't strong enough. Yes, she weighed like two pounds but the support to my ribs was not there yet and I didn't have the core strength. I slid the key into the door, gently pushing it open.

The room had been transformed. All along the flat surfaces were lit candles. There was a bottle of sparkling cider and chocolate covered strawberries. Flowers like Bella's wedding bouquet were scattered all along the room. "It's beautiful," she murmured.

I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Pales in comparison to you, love," I said as I kissed her bare shoulder.

"Biased, you are," she teased. "I can't believe today happened, Edward. We're married."

"I know, Bella," I answered. "Now, don't take this the wrong way, but I need to have you. It's been too long since we've made love and yeah, feel this?" I thrust my hips against her ass. My cock grazed between her ass cheeks. She groaned. "Exactly."

She turned in my arms and pushed my suit coat off my body. "Then, you're wearing too many clothes, Cullen. It's a little hard to make love if you're fully dressed." Her fingers glided over the buttons of my vest. Deftly, she released them and it joined my coat on the ground. She tugged on my purple tie, loosening it. She used the tie to pull me to her lips. Hungrily, our lips crashed against each other. My arms wrapped around her tiny waist as she guided us to the bed. Once my legs hit the edge, Bella sat me down. She pulled the tie from my collar and tossed it on the bed. "Take off your shirt, Edward," she purred.

I made quick work of the buttons and removed my shirt, never breaking her gaze. Her fingers moved along my collarbones. "So beautiful, Edward," she whispered.

"You are the beautiful one, love," I said as I pulled her closer to me, searching for the zipper of her dress. I tugged on it and lowered it. She reached behind her head and unclasped the strap behind her neck. The dress fell to the ground in a heap of ivory satin. Bella stood before me. Completely naked.

_She was naked under her dress the entire time? Fuck!_

"You're drooling, Edward," Bella snickered as she wiped my chin.

"All day? You've been like this all day?" I squeaked.

"I wore panties for the ceremony. The last time I went to the bathroom, I ditched them. Surprise," Bella said as she cocked her hip. "Now, are you just going to stare or are you going to do something about it?"

I grasped her hips and tossed her onto the bed. She squealed as she fell onto the comforter, her hair surrounding her head like a mahogany halo. I pinned her to the bed with my hips, kissing her lips feverishly. She responded to my kisses eagerly. Her legs opened and she wrapped them around my waist. My arousal strained against the fabric of my dress pants. "Bella, I intend on making you feel like the most cherished woman on the planet tonight. Because you are," I said as I kissed down her neck, nibbling at her collarbones. "My wife. My life. My world."

I reached her perfect breasts and latched on. She moaned wantonly as I sucked greedily on her pert nipples, squeezing them slightly. Her back arched as she pressed her breasts further into my mouth. I released her breasts and kissed down her body, swirling my tongue in her navel. "Edward," she mewled. "Please…"

"Please, what?" I teased as I nibbled along her hipbones.

"Please, I need to feel you, Edward," she begged. "Your mouth."

"Gladly, love," I said as I spread her legs. Her bare pussy was glistening for me. I took one long, languid swipe of her sex. Her hips bucked violently. Tasting her again was an awaking. I missed it. I missed her. I suckled her clit between my lips as I eased a finger into her body. Her fingers fisted my hair, pulling at the strands toughly. Her arousal poured down my throat as I began pumping my finger in her body. Her hips moved in conjunction with my fingers and tongue. Her moans were loud and fucking erotic. I had released the zipper of my dress pants, slipping my own hand into my boxer briefs to remove my cock from its cotton prison.

"Edward…so close," she moaned. "Harder."

I added another finger and acquiesced to her request. Bella's body was moving sporadically. Her muscles were gripping my fingers, making it more difficult to pump. I twisted my hand and curled my fingers. I pulled my mouth away and used my other hand to massage her swollen clit. "Let go, Bella. I want to feel you come."

"I'm…there…" she said as she looked at me, rotating her hips. "Fuck!" Her muscles clamped around my fingers as she came violently around me. I kept my fingers inside of her until she calmed. Her breathing was heavy as I crawled up her body. She looked up at me and picked up my hand. She sucked my fingers into her mouth, tasting her essence on them.

"Fuck," I groaned.

"Tasty," she smiled. "Now, I see that you started the party without me." She eyed my cock that was hanging out of my boxer briefs. My pants were down around my knees. "Finish getting undressed and inside me, Edward."

"Oh yes, Mrs. Cullen," I cooed as I removed the rest of my clothes, climbing into the bed with her. She wrapped her hand around my neck and pulled me to her. Our lips crashed as our limbs tangled together. My cock grazed over her clit. She gasped. She rolled onto her back and stared at me, biting her lip. I grasped my cock and lined it up with her entrance. "Ready, love?" She nodded. I eased into her warmth.

"Oh, GOD!" she moaned. "Never again. We will never be apart this long." Her fingers dug into my biceps as she stared at me. "Please make love to me, Edward."

"Always, Bella," I said as I began thrusting. She was so wet. So tight. So ready for me. Even after her recent orgasm, she was still slick with arousal. I dipped down, kissing her lips as my hips thrust against hers. As I moved, my left side was aching but nothing was stopping me from making love to my wife. My wife…holy shit, I have a wife. Looking down at my left hand, my wedding band glittered in the soft candle light of the room. I sat back, pulling Bella up with me. We were sitting nose to nose, with myself buried in her heat. Her legs wrapped around my waist as I guided her over my body. I was surrounded by her. She was enveloped by me. We were a mass of naked limbs, heavy breathing and love.

"I'm close again," she murmured against my mouth. "Please say you're with me, Edward."

"Oh, I'm with you, Bella," I replied as I nipped at her earlobe. "I was with you when I first was inside of you, baby." She moaned and nibbled on the 'B' that she had tattooed on my neck. The coil in my belly was wound painfully tight. Bella swiveled her hips, winding me tighter. She pulled back and looked into my eyes. She kissed my lips three times. The third kiss, she tugged on my lip with her teeth. I tangled my hands into her hair, bucking my hips wildly.

"Bel..Bella," I moaned as I lost all control. My orgasm ripped through me like a bolt of lightning. My climax triggered hers and she clenched around me. She slumped against me, resting her head on my shoulder. I held her, lightly massaging her back. "Wow."

"Wow was right," she giggled. "If that is how married sex is, I'll take it."

"Me too, love," I snickered. She raised her head and stared at me. I kissed her softly three times as my cock slipped from her warmth. She whimpered. "Hey now, I'm not a machine, baby."

"I know," she pouted. "Perhaps we can take a nap and then, round two?"

"Insatiable, you are," I snorted.

"For you, Mr. Cullen."

"As I am for you, Mrs. Cullen."

xx EC:AWIP xx

**Two Years Later**

"Edward! Come on! You're going to be late for the graduation ceremony!" Bella yelled.

"I can't find my hood," I griped. "Fuck!" I searched frantically for my hood to wear at my college graduation. I eventually found it underneath one of Bella's pairs of jeans. I attached it to my gown and slammed the cap onto my head. Bella dragged me to the car. We sped to University of Washington, just getting to the ceremony in time. I slid into my spot, giving my advisor a sheepish grin. _Excuse me. My wife was too busy making me come multiple times that we didn't realize that time. Oops. _

"Nice of the valedictorian to show up, Mr. Cullen," he said acidly.

"Sorry, sir. Lost my hood," I smirked. _More like my load. _

"You have your speech ready?"

"Yes. I just hope that I can get my point across," I blushed. He narrowed his eyes and nodded. I had managed to get my undergraduate degree in psychology in three years. I was taking a semester off, doing some work at Legacy Clinical as an addiction counselor before I go and get my masters degree in psychology. I would continue working at Legacy during the week, take night courses and tattoo during some spare time at Dreamstyle.

Shortly after our return from our honeymoon, Bella decided to start going to college. She decided to take some classes at a local community college, but didn't enroll full time. She would be a student at University of Washington this fall, though. Her major was going to be English Literature, with an emphasis on creative writing. Her minor was going to be art history. Bella had taken all of the prerequisites at the community college and would just need to take her major courses. She'd be done in a year and a half.

We had yet to discuss children since the night before our wedding. I know that Bella wanted to have them, but I think she was afraid of being a bad mother, like her own. Though, seeing her with Masen, our godson and now Annie, Alice and Jasper's little girl, it was highly unlikely that she would be a bad mother. Quite the opposite. She was loving, doting and perfect with those children.

"Cullen, you're up."

"Right," I said as I stood up, walking to the podium. "Good afternoon fellow graduates, esteemed faculty, board of trustees and honored guests. My name is Edward Cullen and I'm the valedictorian of our graduating class. I was shocked when I was told by Dr. Burke, a close personal friend and alumnus of University of Washington, that I would be delivering this speech. I'm not a public speaker. I'm a psychology major. I'd rather be shrinking heads and discussing anger issues than speaking in front of how many people? Nearly ten thousand? Yeah, I'm nervous. Just a bit.

"Anyhow, I started my undergraduate degree a little later than most. I am about to celebrate my thirty-first birthday in a few weeks. My mom told me that it was better late than never. My wife is just over the moon happy. I, on the other hand, am on the fence. I'm proud that I got my degree. A degree in psychology, no doubt. Originally, I was going to going to go to college to be a music major. That was thirteen years ago. I still got music in there, though. Music minor. It goes to show that your life is a work in progress. Your decisions of your life guide where your path may lead.

"Thirteen years ago, I was idealistic in my dreams of becoming a musician. Then, my life changed drastically. My family was ripped away from me and I walked a very dangerous and scary path. I nearly lost my life. But, I fought back. With the help of my friends, I found a new path. I continued to forge my way, progressing through my new life. I eventually started working at a tattoo shop, Dreamstyle Ink. There, I met my new family. My brother, Emmett, who kicked my ass to get clean. My sister, Alice, who is a spark plug of pure energy. My best friend, Jasper, Alice's husband and confidante to guide me in the right direction. My conscience, Rose, who has no problem in telling me that I'm wrong. Finally, my wife, my Bella, who is my everything. It was her to helped me decide to go back to school. To get my degree in psychology. She was falling down the same path that I was and I stopped her. She says that I saved her.

"But, she saved me.

"We saved each other. Even in the darkest times, our love transcended it all. Our lives are a work in progress. Always changing. Always morphing into something different. We never know what's going to hit us. For those of you who are twenty-two, twenty three, make wise decisions. Don't let the heat of the moment catch you off guard. For those of you who are older, like me, cherish each second you have. You never know when it might change.

"I'm looking forward to my future with my family. With my wife. But the one thing that will not change, is that our future is unwritten. A work in progress. It will only come to its natural conclusion when we breathe our final breath. Let's pray that it's not any time soon. Thank you."

I took my spot next to my advisor, searching for my wife's smiling face. She was sitting in the front row in the bleachers. She held her hand to her chest, patting it three times. _I love you. _ I smiled crookedly. I responded in kind by tugging my ear three times. She grinned radiantly as she sat through the rest of the ceremony. It went by quickly, calling all of our names to receive our diplomas. I shook the hand of the president of the university as I received my certificate, one of the final recipients to do so. I stood on the stage as the salutatorian gave a brief speech. She was a cute little girl who fumbled through her speech about the future. Once she was done, she stood next to me. I spun my wedding band as I waited for the president to declare us 'graduated.' Our tassles were flipped and the crowd roared. The processional began and I exited the stage.

After I got through the gate, I ran, full-tilt to Bella. She saw me and ran toward me. She jumped into my arms, covering my face with kisses. "I'm so proud of you, Edward," she said between kisses. "My college graduate."

"Did you like my speech?" I asked as I put her on her feet.

"I did. And you are a fabulous a public speaker," she teased, twisting my nipple. I hissed quietly. "Sorry, Edward. I forgot. You just got them re-done."

"It's okay," I squeaked out. "I'll ignore the stabbing pain in my nipple, thank you very much." _Smack! _"Jesus, Bella. So violent. Have you considered seeing a therapist over your violent tendencies?"

"Good thing I'm married to one," she snickered. "Any suggestions?"

"Nah," I smirked. "Though, I do believe I have some orgasms to give you in payment for our morning that nearly made us late to my graduation ceremony."

"Hey, you weren't complaining," she said as we started walking toward the car. "I never thought of our lives as a work in progress, though. Is that what you think about?"

"I do, Bella. We're constantly trying to improve, change, do SOMETHING to our lives. It is a work in progress. Sometimes, that work becomes derailed. Sometimes, it's beautiful. Look at us. Our relationship. It's gotten stronger since we got married," I explained. "It will continue to blossom, Bella. Just wait."

She stopped me and kissed my lips three times, "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, Bella."

We walked back to my car and we drove back to our home. We were having a party in honor of my graduation and we needed to get some things ready. "Hey, Edward…" Bella called.

"Yes?"

"Don't think that I forgot about our bet from the bowling alley," she snickered from the kitchen.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Your cock…Prince Albert…it's soooooooo happening," she laughed.

_Fin_

**A/N: ****There will be an epilogue, too, to tie up loose ends. (Will Bella and Edward be able to have children? What will happen with Dr. Carter and Esme? To Carlisle? Will Edward get his doctorate in Psychology? We shall see…) Epi will be up sometime this weekend, possibly next week. I've neglected my other stories to finish this one. Anyhow, check out my blog (link in my profile) for pictures of the wedding and songs. I can't believe their story has been told…crap. It's bittersweet but I'm clicking the 'complete' button after I finish this chappie. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Hugs, kisses and all that jazz! **


	29. Chapter 29

_**Thanks for everyone who's faved it, reviewed it or read it! Much appreciated.**_

_**Things I own: a pair of charcoal gray pants that I had to pick up for a spur of the moment performance today, a blister on my heel and some nasty ass acne on my jaw. **_

_**Things I don't own: Twilight and all characters associated with it. They belong to the esteemed Stephenie Meyers**_

_**This is it, folks. The EPILOGUE…it's been a long journey, tumultuous, exciting and nerve-wracking. I'm really sad to say that it's the last chapter. And there will not be a sequel. Maybe futuretakes, but no sequel. See you at the end, kids. **_

**Epilogue**

**Five Years Later…**

"Uncle Eddie! Faster! Chase me! See if you catch me!"

"I'm getting old, Masen," I grumbled as I tried, in vain to keep up with my godson. "Do you know how old I am?"

"A million years old," Masen smirked. "Daddy's older, though. He's TWO million!"

"You got that right, kid," I said as I captured him, ruffling his blonde hair. "Where's Auntie Bella? Uncle Eddie needs a time out."

"Are you in trouble?"

"No, Masen. I'm not in trouble. I'm just…really tired, bud," I said, crouching down to his level.

"She's with the baby," Masen whispered conspiratorially. "She's trying to get him to sleep. So be quiet."

"Okay," I whispered back as I left Masen in the backyard of my house. Kate was standing on the porch, giving me a smile.

"You're so good with him, Edward," she said as she hugged me. "He absolutely adores you."

"I love him, too, Kate," I said as I kissed her cheek. "But, I have my own baby to check on. I'll be back." Kate nodded and turned back to Masen. I went inside of the house and jogged up the stairs to the nursery. Bella was in the rocking chair, cuddling our adoptive son, Brandon, to her chest. "How is he?"

"Cried himself to sleep," Bella muttered. Her eyes were tired but she was ecstatic. She was finally a mother. Brandon's birth mother was a young girl who couldn't care for her child, similar to Bella when she gave Paul up for adoption. However, Brandon's birth mom was an affluent teenager with an unhealthy sense of entitlement. I personally couldn't stand her, but she was willing to give up custody of her baby boy. We were willing to adopt. "I can't believe he's here, Edward. All of those months waiting for him and we have a baby."

"I know, Mrs. Cullen," I said as I crouched next to my two angels. "I can't believe that he's here, either. I love you." I kissed Bella's cheek three times before turning to my son's head and doing the same.

"I never thought this would happen, Edward," Bella sniffled.

"Me neither, Bella," I sighed. After I graduated from college, I started working at Legacy Clinical as an addiction counselor. Things were going swimmingly. In the fall, I started my masters and plowed through that degree in a year and half. We decided that after I completed my masters degree, we'd try to get pregnant with the help of a surrogate. Bella's eggs were harvested and fertilized with my sperm. Alice donated her womb for our would-be child. However, each attempt started successfully. Then Alice would miscarry. Rose volunteered but she had too much scarring in her uterus from when she was attacked. After nearly six rounds of trying to get a baby to 'stick' with Alice, we decided that it wasn't going to happen. We turned our attempts on to adoption.

Nearly three years of waiting, we now were parents of Brandon Gregory Cullen. He is three months old with brown hair and blue eyes. He's perfect. Absolutely perfect.

And stinky.

"Jesus, boy," I said as I wrinkled my nose. "What did eat?"

"Baby formula," Bella chirped. "It's amazing that something so small can much make such a foul odor."

"I know. Come here, little man. Daddy's going to change you," I said as I gingerly picked up Brandon from Bella's arms. Placing my baby boy onto the changing table, I expertly removed his shit-filled diaper. "God. I can't believe this. So nasty, Brandon. I can't wait until you have to change your children's diapers to experience the joy of what I'm going through."

"At least he didn't pee in your mouth," Bella giggled. "I got a mouthful of piss at three this morning."

"Don't pee on your mother, Brandon Gregory," I chided to my three month old son. "It's not cool." He stared at me with his blue eyes, giggling quietly. "Don't think that giggling is going to make it all right, child."

"You're so good with him, Dr. Cullen," Bella said as she kissed my shoulder.

"You're better, Mrs. Cullen," I said as I redressed him in a blue outfit. "Why don't you get dressed before the rest of our family comes, okay?"

"Yeah. I can't believe we're moving, Edward," she sniffled. "This is our last hurrah in our first house. Well, that we owned together."

"I know, beautiful," I said as I settled Brandon into the crook of my arm. "But, Garrett's practice is in Portland. It's not like we're leaving the Pacific Northwest. We're just moving closer to work, for me. And for you."

"I'm nervous, Edward. An editor for a major publishing house is a big deal," she squeaked. "I mean, I'm starting at the bottom of the totem pole but…"

"You'll do wonderfully, Bella. You're so smart. Even smarter than me," I smirked.

"Says the man who just successfully got his doctorate in half the time it should have taken him," Bella said as she slipped out of Brandon's room. "Freaking genius, you are."

"I'm not a genius, Bella," I said as I stepped out of the bedroom. She gave me a smirk before heading into our bedroom. I carried Brandon, who was snoozing in my arms, to the kitchen. Kate was talking to my mom in the kitchen, balancing Masen on her hip. "Hi, Mom."

"Hello, Edward," she smiled. "Where's my grandson?"

"Right here," I said as I handed him over to my mom. "No hello to your offspring?"

"I said 'hello,'" Esme said absentmindedly. "Who's Nana's big boy?" She tickled his belly, completely ignoring me. Well, kind of. "Edward, Emmett and Jasper are attempting to start your grill. It's not going well. Go fix it."

"Yes, Mom," I said as I kissed her temple. I ambled back into the backyard where Jasper and Emmett were unsuccessfully trying to light my grill. "It helps to turn on the gas line, morons."

"Excuse me, Dr. Cullen," Emmett said snidely. "Not all of us are as brilliant as you."

"Fuck off, asshole," I said as I smacked his head. I flipped the gas line and lit the fire easily. Emmett scowled at me.

He and Rosalie are happily living in sin. Emmett proposes every year on their anniversary and Rose replies that she doesn't need a ring or a piece of paper to dictate how to love. They did end up buying a house nearby. Currently, they were trying to get pregnant but it doesn't look all that promising since of Rose's injuries from her previous attack. Emmett was Brandon's godfather while Alice was his godmother. They both spoiled my son as often as they could.

Each time they come to visit, Brandon would get a new outfit (from Alice) or a new truck (from Emmett). Most of it is currently in boxes preparing for our move to Portland. Alice and Jasper are actually moving into our old home in Seattle while we moved to Portland. Alice was finally over living in the apartment and Jasper was ready to make a commitment to a house. The fact that he received tenure at University of Washington helped, too. Their daughter, Annie, was going to take Brandon's room while obviously, Alice and Jas were taking our bedroom.

"Where's the midget and mini-midget?" I asked Jasper.

"Alice is changing Annie's outfit," Jasper said, rolling his eyes. "That girl goes through a million costume changes a day to match her mother's mood. Christ!"

"Shut it, Dr. Whitlock!" Alice barked, holding her daughter's hand. "She spilled apple juice on her shirt. I refuse to have my child look sloppy."

"Alice, do you have an unlimited fund for children's clothes?" Kate asked.

"No. But being a clothing designer has its perks, Kate," Alice winked. "The prototypes for my children's line are designed with my baby girl in mind." Annie tugged on Alice's hand, wanting to play with Masen. She crouched down and whispered in Annie's ear. Alice's 'mini-me' nodded and took off with Masen. They ran around the backyard, shrieking happily.

We were only waiting for one other person at our barbeque: Father Gregory. He had become a trusted friend, confidante and father-figure to Bella. Also, to me as well. He stepped into that role because my relationship with Carlisle was strained at best.

Until I took the position at Garrett's practice, I was on the psychiatric staff of Virginia Mason. I would have to go down to the ER for psych consults and every so often, I'd run into Carlisle. To say he was shocked to see me with a badge on my jeans proclaiming me "Edward Cullen, Doctor of Psychology" was an understatement. Our interactions were stuffy, professional conversations.

When I was called in to a sticky situation with an underaged girl who was hurting herself, Carlisle eyes popped out when I spoke to her candidly about my drug addiction and constant struggle to keep myself clean. I then took her hand in mine, staring into her vacant, glassy, drug-filled eyes and asked why she was hurting herself. She explained that her step-father was raping her nightly. She then fell apart, flinging herself into my arms, finally allowing herself to let go. I promised her that she would be safe and that her step-dad would be punished. The next day, he was arrested and the girl was placed into a foster family's care who could meet her needs. Her mother disowned her and left her on her own.

I still meet with her on a weekly basis. She's still fearful but is slowly healing. She was very upset when I told her that I was moving and begged to let her come with Bella and me. We are certified foster parents but that would blur the line of the patient and doctor. It was also the biggest fight that Bella and I had since we had gotten married. Bella wanted to take in Tanya, my patient. I was uncomfortable doing so since she was my patient. I didn't want to take her away from her family.

"Edward?" Esme called. "You have a phone call. It's Department of Children and Families."

"Thanks, Mom," I said as I jogged to the kitchen, picking up the phone. "Hello?"

"Is this Dr. Edward Cullen?" asked a bored woman.

"Speaking," I answered. "What can I do for you?"

"I have the paperwork and information about Tanya Denali you requested. She's been approved to be a foster child in your care and the move has been okayed through the Portland office Department of Children and Families."

"Does Tanya know?" I asked.

"No, sir."

"Okay, thank you," I smiled. "When can I pick her up?"

"Anytime, Dr. Cullen."

I said goodbye and went to tell my mom the news. With a quick explanation, I told my mom that I was going to pick up a foster grand-daughter. I stuck my head into our bedroom to see my wife putting on a soft summer dress. "I'm going to run an errand. I'll be back soon, Bella."

"Should I be worried?" Bella asked, arching a brow.

"No. But, can you make sure that the guest room is clear so someone can sleep in it?"

"Edward?" Bella asked.

"I hated fighting with you, Bella. About Tanya," I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist. "I recused myself of Tanya's care and turned it over to Kate. She's going to be a part of our family. I'm heading to her foster family to pick her up. I've also started legal proceedings in Portland to adopt her as well. Mom isn't fighting it and Dad is out of the picture."

"So, we're getting a teenager?" Bella squeaked.

"Be prepared, baby. A newborn and a teenager, who would have thought?" I snickered, kissing her lips three times.

"It's another date we need to add to our necks, Edward," Bella murmured against my mouth. Right at the hairline, we have two dates tattooed: our wedding anniversary and Brandon's birthday.

"When the adoption is finalized, that's the date we need to add," I said. "Love you, Bane."

"Love you more, Whip," she smiled. "Go get her."

I nodded and darted out of the bedroom. I wasn't dressed professionally. I had on a pair of shorts and t-shirt. However, this was unexpected and I was honestly excited. I typed in the address into my car and eased out of the driveway. Father Gregory was pulling up as I was pulling out. He waved me over. "What's the rush, Edward?" he chuckled.

"I'm on my way to pick up my foster daughter," I said. "I'll see you when I get back, Father."

"By all means, Edward," Father Gregory chuckled. "Drive safely."

"Thank you!" I smiled as I sped away from my home and toward the old neighborhood where the mansion my grandfather had left me. The foster parents that Tanya was living with were on the outskirts of Bellevue and were a nice family. However, I could tell that they were at wits end with her behavior. The only time she behaved was when she knew she was coming to see me. I spoke to Carmen, her foster mom, at length regarding the change in her attitude. Tanya had confided to Carmen that I was the only person that she trusted since I 'saved her.'

I parked in the driveway of Carmen and her husband, Eleazar. I blew out a breath before jogging up the steps. My hand was shaking when I rang the doorbell. "Tanya, can you get the door?" I heard from inside.

"Sure, Mama Carmen," Tanya said, with a touch of sarcasm in her voice. She pulled open the door. "Dr. Edward?"

"Hi, Tanya," I said. "Can I come in?"

"Um, sure," she said as she moved the side. Tanya was fifteen years old. Her hair was long and strawberry blonde. Her eyes were green like mine and told her entire story of hardship and pain. "Am I in trouble, Dr. Edward?"

"No, Tanya. Quite the opposite," I answered. Carmen came out of the kitchen. "Hello, Carmen. How are you doing?"

"I'm good, Dr. Cullen. You're looking very casual," she snickered.

"That's because I'm having a barbeque at my home. Kind of a last hurrah before the movers come on Tuesday to pack everything up and move it to Portland," I answered. Tanya scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Anyhow, I came over here for two reasons. The first reason is to invite you and your family to the barbeque."

"That sounds lovely, Dr. Cullen. However, wouldn't you be in trouble?" Carmen asked. "Tanya is technically your patient." She smiled knowingly. Apparently the Department of Children and Families had already contacted her.

"Not anymore," I said, looking over at Tanya who was sniffling quietly. "Tanya, I know you're upset about my leaving. I've since removed myself from your case and a very close friend of mine named Dr. Kate is going to take over your care."

"I want you, Dr. Edward. I feel safe with you. You understand," she cried. "Besides, isn't your friend, Dr. Kate based out of Portland?"

"She is. Tanya, prior to coming here, I received a phone call from the Department of Children and Families. My wife and I received approval to be your foster parents," I said, bending slightly to look into her eyes. "I know you care about Mama Carmen and Papa Eleazar but…"

"I love you, Dr. Edward," she cried. "You're the first man who's been kind to me." She wrapped her arms around my waist and sobbed against my chest. "I'm going to live with you?"

"Yes, Tanya," I said as I kissed the crown of her head. "That's why I removed myself from your case. I can't legitimately be your psychologist and your dad at the same time."

"When? When?" she asked looking up at me.

"How soon can you pack?" I asked, giving her a crooked smile.

"Be right back," she squealed as she ran up the stairs. "Irina! I need your help! I'm getting a permanent family!"

"I'm sorry, Carmen," I grimaced.

"No, it's okay, Dr. Cullen. She wasn't happy here. I mean, she went through the motions but was never comfortable. She was moved from her parents' home of shit to our home and she felt like an outsider. Even with our other foster children, she still felt removed since she was the oldest. Her closest friend here was Irina and she's thirteen," Carmen snickered. "She also didn't trust Eleazar. I know that he would never touch that little girl but in her mind, she was afraid of…you know."

"Carmen, this placement will be good for Tanya for a couple of reasons. Number one, she feels comfortable with me. That's the biggest one. The second reason is that my wife knows what Tanya went through. She was raped by her foster brother when she was about Tanya's age. She'll have someone to talk to in my wife; someone who understands."

"Dr. Edward? Can I get some help?" Tanya called down to me. Carmen led me upstairs to the bedroom that Tanya shared with Irina, another foster child. There were three large bags sitting on the bed along with a few stuffed animals. "I can't carry all of this downstairs."

"I'll get most of it if you just get the backpack and these guys," I said as I handed the animals to Tanya. She smiled and nodded enthusiastically. I slipped the duffel bag over my shoulder and heaved the suitcases down the stairs with a happy Tanya following me. We load up my SUV with her bags before we head back inside to Carmen and Eleazar's home.

"I'll miss you, Tanya," Carmen said as she smiled at Tanya. "You are a good girl and I wish you the best. Please keep in touch. Here's my email address and cell phone number if you ever want to talk." Carmen handed Tanya a small slip of paper. She stepped back and leaned against her husband. Tanya didn't like to be touched since her admittance to the hospital. I was genuinely surprised when she hugged me. Then she surprised me again. She held out her hand to Carmen, shaking like a leaf as she did so.

"Thank you for everything, Mama Carmen," she said, her voice trembling. Carmen shook her hand, tears falling down her cheeks. "I'll miss you, too. I'm sorry that I…that I was difficult."

"I understand why, sweetheart. But, you can now truly get better with Dr. Edward and Mrs. Cullen," Carmen said. Tanya quickly hugged Carmen and stepped back to my side.

"Papa Eleazar, I hope you understand but…" Tanya muttered.

"I do understand, Tanya. I'm happy for you. Be safe and behave for Dr. Edward," Eleazar said with a soft smile. He was a good man but Tanya's trepidation around men was understandable. Eleazar would never hurt her but in her fifteen year old mind, all men were the enemy.

"Do you want to say good bye to your foster siblings?"

"Just Irina," Tanya answered. "I'll be right back."

I heard quiet sobs from Tanya and Irina. Soon, Tanya came back downstairs. Her face was bright red and her eyes were puffy. She held a tiny stuffed animal in her arms. "It's from Irina. She said that he would keep me safe. Can I call her?"

"Anytime, Tanya," Carmen and I both said. We chuckled quietly and Tanya stepped outside, walking to my car.

"Are you coming to the barbeque?" I asked.

"Probably not," Eleazar said. "As much as Tanya was a troublemaker, she was still a part of our family and we need to explain this to our other foster children. The Department of Children and Families explained that you want to adopt her."

"I do. She deserves a family and the right to feel safe," I said. "I appreciate everything you did for her."

"You did most of it, Dr. Cullen," Carmen explained. "You reached her and made her feel safe. You love her, Dr. Cullen. In a fatherly way."

"I do see her as my daughter. However, I would have had to have her when I was twenty-one since I'm thirty-six now. Oh my god. I'm thirty six."

"You don't look a day over thirty, Dr. Cullen," Carmen teased. "The only thing that gives you away is the hair. The gray at the temples."

"Ugh, don't remind me. Too bad Clairol doesn't have bronze as a hair dye," I chuckled.

"Dr. Edward! Come on!" Tanya chuckled.

"Okay, she's beckoning. I'll talk to you both soon," I smiled.

"Good luck. Taking on a teenager. You will get a higher place in heaven, Dr. Cullen," Eleazar teased. I rolled my eyes and jogged to my car. I helped Tanya into the front seat before heading back to the house.

"I'm so happy, Dr. Edward," she said as she looked at me. "Thank you."

"Enough of this Dr. Edward business," I said. "I'm no longer your doctor. Just call me Edward."

"Edward," she said, trying it out. "Sounds weird. How about I call you dad?"

"That's even more weird," I laughed. "I go from not having any children to having a newborn and a teenager in less than three months. Oh, the irony. Let's work up to 'dad.' Anyhow, I know that you feel comfortable with me, Tanya but you have realize that there will be rules. You will need to abide by them."

"What are they?" she asked.

"You will need to respect my wife, your brother and me."

"My brother," she said softly. "What's his name?"

"Brandon Gregory Cullen," I said with a reverent smile. "He's three months old and he can clear a room with his gas."

"Oh goody," Tanya said dryly. "Am I going to be your built-in babysitter?"

"No, Tanya," I said. "Your time is as valuable as mine or Bella's. She's my wife."

"I overheard you talking to Mama Carmen. She was like me?" Tanya asked, biting her lip and wringing her hands.

"She was, Tanya. However, it wasn't her step-father that raped her. It was her foster brother," I frowned. "She's still working through her feelings that she has regarding her childhood. There's a great deal of resentment. But, she understands. There will be other rules, but we will create those as we go. The biggest rule will be to respect everyone in our home. If you do that, you'll be golden."

"I will, Dr. Edward," she said with conviction. I shot her a look. "Sorry, Edward."

"Now, we are having a barbeque. At this party, you'll meet Bella and Brandon. In addition to them, Esme, my mom will be there, along with my business partner, Dr. Garrett Burke and his wife, Kate."

"She'll be taking over my treatment?" Tanya asked.

"Yes. She's normally a substance abuse counselor but she also has a similar story to yours and was adamant on helping you. Besides, you may be more comfortable with a woman in discussing what happened in your bedroom with Rick, your step-dad. You just glossed over it with me."

"It's because I don't want you to think that I'm dirty," she shuddered.

"Tanya, you're not. What Rick did to you was abhorrent. You are a child and he's an adult. If anyone has issues, it's him. He felt it necessary to do things without your consent and he hurt you, Tanya. I could kill him for doing that to you," I growled. "Don't ever think that you did something wrong, sweet girl."

She blushed and smiled. "I like that," she murmured.

"What?"

"You called me a sweet girl," she said, looking over at me.

"You are. A sweet girl," I smiled crookedly. "Hopefully, you'll be my sweet girl after the mandatory waiting period in Portland."

"What do you mean, Edward?"

"I've already submitted paperwork with my wife to be your permanent guardian and hopefully, be able to legally adopt you. So far, your mom is not fighting it."

"She came to visit me one time while I was with Mama Carmen," she growled. "She said that she was giving up her parental rights to me. I was an 'abomination' that ruined her marriage to Rick. I told her to fuck off."

"Tanya, watch your language," I said, chuckling as I reprimanded her.

"It's a little hard to believe you while you're snickering, Edward," Tanya giggled. "But, do you blame me?"

"No. I essentially told my father the exact same thing. Numerous times," I sighed.

"He's the blond-ish doctor that treated me initially?"

"Yep. He's a first class douche," I growled. "Sorry. I have my own 'daddy' issues."

"Have you seen a therapist for those issues, Dr. Edward?" Tanya teased.

"Yeah. He's now my business partner," I smirked. "We're here."

"Damn. You live here?"

"Only until Tuesday. Then, we move to Portland. My wife will help you decorate your room or she may sic her best friend on you. Alice is a force to be reckoned with."

"Who else is here?" Tanya asked.

"Besides the people that I mentioned, my best friend, Emmett and his long-time girlfriend, Rose, Alice and her husband, Jasper. They have a little girl named Annie. There's also Dr. John Carter who is my mom's boyfriend. He's a surgeon at Virginia Mason. He actually saved my life seven years ago."

"What happened?"

"I was shot by a man who was obsessed with my wife. He actually raped her and caused her some serious damage where she couldn't have children naturally. We tried surrogates but nothing took so we ended up adopting. Anyhow, he shot me in my chest and I was pretty, um, 'fucked up.' I have a lovely scar across my chest from the surgery. But my wife fixed that with her artistic expertise."

"What do you mean?" Tanya asked.

I raised my shirt sleeves to reveal my ink which were usually covered by my conservative button-downs. I also angled my head to display the 'B' on my neck. "I'm a bit of a bad ass, Tanya. These are just the tip of the iceberg."

"How many tats do you have?" she asked as she traced the tribal ink on my arm.

"Too many to count," I chuckled. "I'm also pierced, too." I reached into the cup holder and slid my eyebrow ring, earrings and slipped on my tongue ring.

"You look so square, Edward. I would have never guessed," Tanya said, raising her brows. "Am I ever going to see the chest tattoo?"

"Perhaps. Not now, though. I'm too pasty," I chuckled. "Come on. You have a new family to meet. I'm certain they will love you."

"I hope so. All I want is to be loved by a family," she said quietly.

"You will, sweet girl," I whispered as I tucked a hair behind her ear. She nodded and got out of the car. She nibbled on the lip as I offered her my arm. She took it and we walked into the foyer of my house. She gripped my hand as she furtively looked around. "You're safe here, Tanya. No one will hurt you."

"Promise, Dr. Edward?" she asked.

"I promise," I said.

"Hey," I heard. I turned and saw Bella in the living room with Brandon in her arms.

"Hello, beautiful," I said as I led Tanya into the living room. "Everything alright?"

"Fine. I just needed a few moments. I got really emotional knowing that this was the last time that everyone was going to be here while it's our house," she sniffled. "You must be Tanya."

"Yes, ma'am," Tanya mumbled.

"Oh, god. I'm too young to be a ma'am," Bella snickered. "I'm Bella and this little guy is Brandon."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Bella," Tanya said. She looked at Brandon who was eating from his bottle. "Hi, Brandon." He turned toward his name and spit out the bottle. He fussed some.

"Would you like to hold him, Tanya?" Bella asked as she handed me the bottle.

"What if I drop him?" she squeaked.

"Sit down first," Bella said as she led Tanya to the large wingback chair. She placed Brandon into Tanya's arms who was enamored with his new sister. "Perfect. He loves you."

"Hello, Brandon," Tanya cooed. "I'm Tanya and hopefully I'll be your big sister soon."

"No hopefully, Tanya," I said as I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist. "It will happen. We're a family."

"A happy family," Bella said as she hugged me.

xx EC:AWIP xx

**Seven Years Later**

"Dad! We need to go!" Tanya screamed. "I'm graduating from college and I don't want to be late because my parents were too busy getting it on."

"Tanya!" Bella snapped. "We were not getting it on!"

"Sure, Mom," Tanya said as she leaned against the doorframe of our bedroom. "Why is your blouse not buttoned correctly?"

"Damn it," Bella growled, smacking me on the shoulder.

"Why are you hitting me? You're the one who couldn't button your own shirt," I snickered.

"I hate you, Whip," Bella growled. "Ass."

"Mommy, swear jar," Brandon said, pointing to the filled jar on our dresser.

"Right, little man. Let's go. Bella, fix your skirt."

"Shut it, Whip," she said, tweaking my nipples. I stuck out my tongue at my wife and tossed Brandon over my shoulders. Tanya was adjusting her cap and gown nervously. She was class valedictorian and was nervous about her speech. Bella had helped her write the speech but Tanya hated speaking in front of a crowd, much like me.

With one more adjustment to her cap, Tanya proclaimed herself ready to go and we all clambered into the car. I drove us to University of Oregon where Tanya Denali Cullen would graduate with a degree in biology. Before we parted ways, she hugged me and said that she loved me. I kissed my daughter's forehead and watched as she darted to the field house.

"It seems like yesterday that she came to our home as a scared teenager," Bella said as she wiped a few tears. "She's changed so much."

"A lot of it has to do with you, love," I said, kissing her temple

"Ewwwwwwww! Kissy face!" Brandon bellowed.

"Just you wait, Brandon. In a few years, you'll want to kissy face with someone special," Bella chided. "Did Tanya tell you that she's bringing someone to dinner tonight? A boyfriend."

"God, I think I'm going to die," I groaned. "She's too young for a boyfriend."

"Edward, she's twenty-two," Bella snickered. "You should be happy. This is the first man she's trusted since you. The first one to capture her heart. A man who can give her love."

"Are you saying that I don't love my daughter?" I asked, arching my brow over my new glasses.

"Edward, I know you love your daughter. But she's finally okay with the fact that she can move forward. Someone other than her daddy can keep her safe," Bella answered. "Though, you are the best at protecting your loved ones."

"Hmph," I growled. "He better treat her good or I'll kick his ass."

"Daddy, swear jar," Brandon chirped as he tugged on my belt loop of my pants.

"When I get home, bud. Remind me, okay?"

He nodded and we took our seats in the bleachers. The ceremony started a few moments later and we watched as the dignitaries and board of trustees gave their speeches. Right before the distribution of the degrees, Tanya gave her speech. She was well-spoken and brilliant. Her confidence shone through in her words and smile on her face.

"…There is one more thing that I want to say before I conclude my speech. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my parents. They didn't give birth to me but they opened their home to me and showed me that I wasn't broken. They showed me that I was worthy of love and I'm eternally grateful for my mom, Isabella, my dad, Edward and my brother, Brandon. I love all of you and thank you for not giving up hope. You've taught me that each day is a work in progress. Learn from your mistakes and cherish your accomplishments. God knows that I'm proud to be your daughter."

Bella sobbed, cupping her hands over her mouth. Tears were falling down my cheeks as well. I slipped out my cell phone and sent my daughter a text.

_I'm so honored to be your father, sweet girl. You continue to amaze me and I love you. And you made me cry – Dad_

_Dad, sorry about making you cry but it's the truth. I love you and mom. But, I have to put my phone away. The chancellor is giving me the evil eye – T_

_Sorry if I got you into trouble – Dad_

_;-) – T_

The rest of the ceremony went by slowly with the time-consuming task of announcing all of the graduates. Brandon was getting antsy and we each had to take turns entertaining him. Nearly two hours later, the ceremony was over and we were waiting for Tanya at the entrance of the football stadium. Brandon was on my shoulders, looking for his sister. He started bouncing on my shoulders when he saw Tanya weaving through the crowd.

"Mom! Dad!" she squealed as she ran toward us. Once she got to us, she threw her arms around Bella, hugging her fiercely. "What did you think?"

"You did wonderful, Tanya," Bella said as she cupped Tanya's face. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom," she smiled. She turned to me, giving me a timid grin. "Daddy?"

I lifted Brandon off my shoulders and told him to stay with Bella. I opened my arms. She melted into my embrace. "My sweet girl," I said. "I'm so incredibly proud. I love you."

"I love you, Daddy," she said as she held me tighter. "Thank you for being there for me. Always." She pulled away and looked at both of us. "I have a strange request."

"What's that, sweetie?" Bella asked.

"I want to get a tattoo. I know that both of you used to have licenses," Tanya said. "I can get it from Uncle Emmett but I want a tattoo from both of you. Something that represents each of your personalities. Please?"

"When we get home," Bella said. "After dinner. Besides, we need to sketch something out, right, Whip?"

"Right," I winked.

"Okay, I have to know. Why do you call dad, 'Whip?'" Tanya questioned as we started walking toward the car.

"When I first started working at Dreamstyle, I was the shop 'bitch,'" I snickered. "But, I was your mother's personal whipping boy since I was her apprentice."

"I started calling him 'Whip' and it stuck," Bella shrugged. "Every so often, he calls me 'Bane.'"

"Like she's the bane of my existence," I bellowed. "But, we all know that we love each other very much."

"We wouldn't have been married for thirteen years if we didn't," Bella snickered.

We climbed into the car and drove back to our home in Portland. Tanya changed into black dress with blue, gold, red and white polka dots. Her hair was curled and she looked so happy. "Daddy, I know that Mom told you about Cole."

"Who in the hell is Cole?" I asked as I slid on my black suit coat. _God, I look like a fucking lemming. _

"Cole's my boyfriend, Daddy," Tanya said as she bit her lip. "He's special. Almost as special as you."

"Aw, hell," I said as I ran my hand over my face. "Are you trying to butter me up, sweet girl?"

"Possibly?" Tanya said as she smiled. "Daddy, he is a good man and he doesn't think I'm a freak for what happened to me."

"Tanya, you are not a freak. Period," I said sternly. "Rick is a fucktard for hurting you."

"Swear jar, Daddy!" Brandon chimed from his bedroom.

"God, he has ears everywhere," I said as I slammed a ten dollar bill into the swear jar.

"You do have a potty mouth, Dr. Edward," Tanya chided.

"It used to be worse, daughter," I sighed. "Much worse. Anyhow, how serious is this Cole character? What does he do? Do I need to flash my tattoos to have him be afraid of me?"

"Dad, your neck tattoo is enough to cause Cole to have a heart attack," Tanya said dryly. "But it works on you. Anyhow, Cole is a pre-med student at University of Washington. We met at a biology party before the end of last semester. We started off slowly, as friends, and we went from there."

"Is he being respectful of you, Tanya?"

"Very much so, Daddy. We haven't progressed further than kissing and he's been very gentle and understanding when I freeze up," Tanya blushed.

"How often is that?" I asked.

"Too often. What if I can't be with him, Dad?" she asked, biting her lip. "I mean, how long did you and mom wait after she was attacked to make love?"

"Roughly six months and in retrospect, it was too soon," I said. "If I had known what I know now, I would have told my younger self to pull back the reins. However, I was young and thinking with my hormones. It could have caused your mom to regress back into someplace scary and unhealthy. Thankfully, it didn't and we quickly fell into a healthy sex life."

"You still do, Dad. I've had to invest in some earplugs. You are such a screamer. Ew," she said wrinkling her nose. "I'm surprised that Brandon can sleep through all of the moaning and banging."

"This conversation is moving to a creepy place, Tanya," I said flatly. "There is a line and you, my dear, are straddling it."

"Sorry. But, seriously, what if I can't stop these flashbacks? Whenever Cole tries something different, I picture Rick," she murmured.

"I don't know, sweet girl. Those are questions you should ask your mom," I said. "She has first had experience. I can only draw on my professional expertise and that won't honestly help you."

"She told me to talk to you," Tanya laughed nervously.

"Hmmm," I grumbled. "My answer as a father is that he should never touch you until he has a ring on your finger and you're married."

"Dad…"

"But, we both know that is probably not going to happen. My answer as a psychologist is to tell him what you're feeling when you feel scared and out of control. When do you typically freeze up?"

"When he touches my chest or moves below the belt," Tanya answered, blushing. "Rick was very rough when he…"

"I get it. You need to work with Cole to replace those negative feelings you have with positive ones. Work with him to help you understand what makes you feel good. Also, take it slowly. Start over your clothing and then progress from there."

"Okay," Tanya murmured.

"Am I done?" I asked, blushing on my own.

"I think so," she laughed.

"Good, because that was very awkward," I shuddered. "I'm dreading giving the sex talk to Brandon. I'm almost tempted to find a porno and show it to him."

"No, Dad. He would be scarred for life," Tanya said. "We probably should go, though. We're meeting Cole at the restaurant. Is Aunt Kate watching Brandon?"

"Yep. Masen and Brandon are having some kind of game console tournament," I shrugged. "I think Uncle Garrett is in on it, too."

The doorbell rang and on my doorstep was Garrett, Kate and Masen. My godson raced past me and into the basement. Garrett shrugged and followed him, giving Tanya a congratulatory hug. Kate rolled her eyes as she went to check on Bella in the bedroom. A few moments later, Kate and Bella came downstairs. My wife wore a blue and black scarf-like dress with black pumps. Her hair was curled down her back and her makeup was soft and smoky. She looked amazing for a woman who was thirty-nine.

"For the love of God, Edward. Stop eyefucking your wife," Kate bellowed. "Yes, she's hot. You want to bone her. You can do that when you get home, okay?"

"Jesus, Kate. Blunt much?" Bella chuckled.

"What? He was totally undressing you with his eyes," Kate said.

"And I do plan on undressing her when I get home," I snickered. "Let's go, Mrs. Cullen and Ms. Cullen." I offered my arms to my wife and daughter, heading out to the black Mercedes that I had bought for special occasions. My sweet girl graduating from college definitely qualified as a special occasion. We drove to the restaurant; the same place where we had our rehearsal dinner. I parked the car and we walked into the posh restaurant. Just inside was a tall man with dirty blonde hair and grey eyes. He reminded me a lot Jasper but lankier.

"Hi, Cole," Tanya said as she danced over to him, lacing her fingers with his.

"Congratulations, gorgeous," he said. "Your speech was awesome."

"Thanks," Tanya smiled. "Cole, these are my parents, Dr. Edward and Bella Cullen. Mom, Dad, this is Cole Ranos."

"Nice to meet you Cole," Bella said as she shook his hand.

I eyed him up before offering my own hand to shake. "Pleasure," I answered coldly.

"Dad, behave," Tanya hissed.

"Right," I said as I stood a little taller, giving Cole the evil eye. He shrank back, gripping Tanya's hand for dear life. _Oh, I can have fun with this. _We were quickly seated and ordered our food. Bella made polite conversation with Cole. He was currently a third year medical student and was starting to do his rotations at Seattle Grace Hospital. I asked him what his specialty would be. He smiled and said pediatrics. I melted a little bit with that response. He started rambling about he loved kids and felt a special connection to the children in the peds ward. Before dessert, Tanya and Bella head to the bathroom. My wife pinched my nipple and told me to be nice. I rolled my eyes.

"So, Dr. Cullen, what made you choose psychology?" Cole asked nervously, playing with his napkin.

"I was a drug addict and I really fucked up my life. However, I got lucky with my friends and family who placed me into a great rehab facility here in Portland," I answered. "I wanted to pay it back by becoming a psychologist. Now, I work with addicts and children of addicts, specifically."

"Wow," Cole murmured. "You turned your life around. That's awesome, Dr. Cullen."

"Thank you. Now, what are your intentions to my daughter?" I asked, arching my brow.

"I love her, sir. She's so smart and funny and beautiful and loving and I can't imagine my life without her. I know that she's going to University of Washington to start her own medical degree but I'm hopeful that you will give me your blessing to marry her."

"You've known her for how long?"

"Six months, Dr. Cullen but she's it for me," Cole said fervently.

"She's told you about her past, right?"

"Yes, sir. I know that you and Mrs. Cullen adopted Tanya after she turned sixteen because she was removed from her home. Her step-dad raped her," Cole gulped down. "There's something that you should know, Dr. Cullen. I'm a virgin and will wait for Tanya. I'll wait until she's comfortable and ready. If it's on our wedding night, great. If it's a year from our wedding night, I'll work with it. She needs to feel loved and cherished, sir. I hope that I'm man enough to do that. Please, let me love her."

"I'm giving you the okay to propose. However, if you hurt her, Cole, I have a friend who can toss you into Puget Sound and make it look like an accident," I said. "And that's after I cut off your balls with a rusty butter knife."

"I'll make sure I won't hurt her, Dr. Cullen," Cole squeaked.

"Good. And call me Edward," I said as I held out my hand.

"Thank you, sir. Edward, sir," Cole stammered with a nervous smile.

My wife and daughter returned. I got an icy glare from Tanya. "I behaved, sweet girl," I said, holding up my hands. "There was no bloodshed, right Cole?"

"Right, Edward," Cole smiled.

"Hmmm," Tanya said. "Is it alright if Cole drives me home?"

"That's fine," Bella answered. "Just be safe. Don't drink and drive."

"I don't drink, Mrs. Cullen," Cole answered. "I lost my dad to a drunk driver and I took a vow to never drink. So, I've never had a drop of alcohol. Ever."

"I'm beginning to like you more and more, Cole," I smiled as I sipped my water.

xx EC:AWIP xx

**Many Years Later**

I sat on the porch, holding my wife's hand. Running around in our backyard were our grandchildren and grand nieces and nephews.

Alice and Jasper's daughter, Annie, ended up marrying Masen in a lavish ceremony that put any royalty to shame. Their children, Rebecca, Seth and Iris, were each two years apart and spoiled rotten by their grandparents. Annie took after her mother and became a highly sought after clothing designer. Masen became a tattoo artist and was featured in several magazines. He actually had his own show on one of the stations on cable. He was truly a dynamic boy.

Garrett and Kate had one more baby that a surprise. Masen had just turned eighteen when Kate thought she was going through the change of life. Instead, she was pregnant with twins, Samantha and Abigale. They were both seniors in high school now and preparing to go to college. Samantha was going to NYU while Abigale was staying closer to home and attending University of Washington. Masen never attended college. He just took some business courses to make sure his tattoo shop stayed afloat.

Garrett was still working in our practice but was going to retire once the girls were done with college. Kate had decided to be a stay at home mom with the girls and it suited her. She still counseled Bella and Tanya when they needed it but as friends and not as a professional.

Rose and Emmett finally got married ten years after they met. It took Rose's pregnancy to get her to commit to Emmett. They had quick civil ceremony two days after he proposed and six months later, Emmett Junior was born. EJ took over Dreamstyle Ink once he became old enough. He apprenticed with Masen before moving to Dreamstyle. EJ never met a girl that caught his eye. He is a perpetual bachelor and always the 'cool' uncle. Rose and Emmett did try for other children but was only blessed with EJ. Emmett teased his son that they stopped at perfection. EJ just rolled his eyes.

My father ended up drinking himself into an early grave. Around the time that my son was graduating from high school, I received a phone call from Virginia Mason. My father was admitted to the ICU with extreme cirrhosis of the liver and did not have a good prognosis. I drove up to Seattle that night to speak with him. When I got there, he was too far gone. His mind was hallucinating and he was so sickly looking. I just sat with him until he took his final breath. He passed away early that morning, holding my hand. I kissed his forehead and said that I forgave him. He was buried in the family plot, next to his mother.

Esme and John ended up marrying shortly after Tanya's graduation from college. They spent John's retirement traveling the world and living the high life. Esme felt loved and adored and I couldn't be happier for her.

Father Gregory is still our good friend and confidante. However, he's losing his marbles, slightly. Even though we are not his children, we've adopted him as our own. Once he left the priesthood, he moved into an assisted living home. We visit him daily. However, he doesn't remember much. Bella is saddened that her 'father' figure is wasting away. I'm sad for her. He's healthy as a horse, but his mind is withering.

In regards to me and my family, it was a work. In progress. Bella and I had a time when Brandon was in high school where he started using drugs. It hit us really hard. He started with pot and then was moving to LSD and more heavy duty stuff. I was the one who found the cocaine in his bedroom. Oh, my God, I wanted it. But I refrained. When he came home from school that day, I sat in the living room with the small packet of white powder on the cocktail table. I gave my son two choices: get clean or get out. I sounded like Carlisle but I refused to have drugs in my home. So did Bella. It was too much of a risk for both of us. Brandon chose to get clean. I admitted him into an in-patient facility. Within two months, he was clean and back living with us with some very strict rules.

He hasn't touched drugs or alcohol since.

He did take an extra year to graduate from high school and he took classes at the community college before he decided on his major: restaurant management. He is now a chef in a lucrative restaurant. He met his wife, Mia, there and they have two little boys, Lucas and Daniel.

Tanya is a pediatric psychiatrist. She graduated with honors and worked with children who were like her: children from abusive homes and scary situations. She really connected with them. Tanya and Cole did end up getting married after she completed her medical degree. They waited until their wedding night to make love for the first time. Now, technically, Tanya was not a virgin but Cole treated her as such. Her virginity was stolen away from her and he gave her what she should have had. Something special, loving and perfect. Tanya had no flashbacks. Thankfully. It was tough though, walking down the aisle with my daughter on my arm to give her to another man. I cried like a fucking baby. They have two children, Edward Anthony and Madelyn Isabella.

Bella and I, we've been married for thirty years. We had our happy times and our sad times. We also had times where we wanted to kill each other like when we first met. But, I wouldn't change any of it for the world. I married my best friend. She is a wonderful mother, loving grandmother and still the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Her chocolate hair has since changed to gray but her eyes are still the color of cinnamon and she can still get me hard as a rock. _No Viagra needed here, kids. _ Yes, we're both older but our love is going strong. Stronger than ever.

Oh, and for our twentieth wedding anniversary, I finally got the damn Prince Albert. It hurt like a mother fucker. _What the hell was I thinking?_

_The End_


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